No Lack Of Topics

Just a lack of oomph.

I have tons and tons of ideas for blog posts; unfortunately, most of them actually require thought and composition and at least a quick edit before being sent off into the world. When I come home from work in the evening, I don't generally have that kind of oomph. I have enough oomph to see Aaron off to work, feed the cat, feed myself, and do some singular task. I have to choose wisely what that task is, though: I can clean house, or blog, or play a video game, but I can't do all three. It's a challenge fitting exercise into that narrow window of energy, too, but I've been trying.

So, it's all about priorities and consequences. Turn on the TV, watch the news, and then get sucked into playing Xbox 360; or focus on my meal (and likely eat less because of it), turn on some music, and do what needs to get done.

And have the computer off by 10pm.

I wish I didn't have to use my most productive waking hours working for The Man.

2009 Year in Review

NOTES:

This presentation of annual data is highly influenced by the Feltron Annual Reports. Nicholas Felton is a master of infographics and data visualization, and I continue to be influenced by his work.

Percentage of Miles Walked in 2009 only includes data from 27 April 2009 forward, since that is the date on which my Omron HJ-720ITC Pocket Pedometer decided to un-lobotomize itself and synchronize to my computer again.

Dining Out in 2009 is missing some of September's and most of October's data, due to my ignorance of the fact that Weight Watchers Online only saves 60 days' worth of tracking data. I switched from pen-and-paper tracking to eTools tracking after 27 September 2009.

Top Ten Musical Artists of 2009 is derived from data at last.fm/user/dianaschnuth.

The Airing of Grievances

Happy Festivus!

Although I'm at home alone tonight, I will still be sharing in the time-honored Festivus tradition of the Airing of Grievances. Traditionally, this is done in the presence of those about whom you have a grievance, but I'm substituting the entire internet in lieu of a personal grievance-airing.

OK, it's not exactly a time-honored tradition for me. I'm not good at airing grievances, mainly because I know I have many grievable shortcomings that could easily be used as return fire. I'm also not too keen on publicly airing grievances about individuals, so most of tonight's grievances will be vague, resulting in a mental chorus of, "Is she talking about me?" If you have to ask, the answer is probably no.

First, a general grievance about tonight's attempt at baking a sausage cake. I did what my mother told me NEVER to do: I accidentally got water in the candy glaze icing while I was cooling it in its cold water bath. Whether as a result of the water or of the fact that I stopped my constant stirring for long enough to pour the water out (and to have a hairy conniption while doing so), I bungled the vital timing of pouring the icing on the cake, and it cooled too soon. So, now I have ugly (but still tasty) sausage cakes to take to Christmas. Bah, humbug.

My major grievance, and I'll get it out in the open early, is that so many of my friends (and my husband's friends, who are my friends by extension) have grown less and less social. Facebook does not replace face-to-face time, especially if you live within 20 miles of us. Even if you live farther away, there's no excuse for not sending the occasional e-mail, or making a phone call, or even just sending a direct message on Facebook (if you can't break free of your social networking tools). Granted, there are a handful of friends, whom I can readily count on one hand, who have stepped things up and made a concerted effort to socialize with us. We appreciate that. The rest of you unequivocally suck, and have disappointed me greatly.

Let's see. What other grievances to air... Oh, yes. Since this blog ports over to my Facebook, allow me to tell you that there are, in fact, a few of my friends whom I have blocked from showing up on my Facebook news feed. Chances are that you talk about God too much, and/or give too little actual information about how you are and what you're doing. No, I won't tell you if you're one of those people. Just know that I am disappointed in your lack of substantive updates.

Um. What else?

I'm no good at this grievance thing.

Anyone who wants to air a grievance about me is welcome to do so in the comments (on my actual blog, please, not just on Facebook).

Happy Solstice!

The days only get longer from here on (the daylight hours, that is). That in itself is reason for celebration!

Happy [insert observance of choice here]!

Odd Conversation

My Boss's Boss's Boss: Diana?
Me: Yes?
Boss: What's your maiden name?
Me: Cook.
Boss: That's strange.
Me: (pause) Thanks...

Turns out that someone had donated a book to the departmental book exchange with the name "Diana Gable" marked in it, so he had thought it must have been mine.

Movin' On Up

Saturday afternoon, we cleaned out ye olde Ford Contour, gave its battery one last jump, and caravaned up to Taylor Kia to trade up for a Kia Forte.

Long story short, we are now the owners of a 2010 Kia Forte SX with all most of the trimmings, plus six years of car payments.

Read on for the longer version...

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Fantastically Different

Facebook is a one-stop shop for all varieties of friends and acquaintances. Want to find your best friend from elementary school? Probably on Facebook. Curious about your first crush? Probably on Facebook. Wondering what the valedictorian made of him/herself? You can find out on Facebook.

That's how I use Facebook: I'm a voyeur of sorts. Some people enjoy the games and quizzes and other apps. Some people use Facebook as their primary means of communication with friends and family. Me, I'm pretty passive about things. I have all my online activity feed through to my Wall automatically — my blog and Twitter, YouTube, Flickr, Google Reader, et al. I check my News Feed daily. And, on occasion, I go hunting for old friends and acquaintances.

It's fun to see how people have changed and matured over the years, and to see how people's impressions of you have changed. One person said that she could tell exactly who I was from my profile pic, despite my new married name, because I hadn't changed a bit since high school. Another person said that I looked "fantastically different," in a good way. (I wish I could find her full quotable, but Facebook isn't very searchable when it comes to comments.)

While I can't claim to have rekindled any old friendships or made any new friends via Facebook, I have managed to stay in touch with family and close friends a little better. My Mom is on Facebook every night, farming her Farmville and yo-ing her Yo-ville, so I know she sees what's going on with me, since all my blogs and updates feed through automatically.

I also enjoy reading the updates of people who knew me way back when, who no longer play a major role in my life, who may have forgotten that I'm watching. Some of them are so much the same people they've always been. Some of them are fantastically different.

One of the Guys?

I rarely write about my reactions to and interactions with people anymore, just because there's that chance, albeit slim, that they might read my blog and take offense. This person already knows I was offended, though, so I'm not terribly concerned with whether he sees this or not.

I'm not one to hold a grudge, and it's very rare that something specific affects my mood for, say, more than an hour or two. But this has been bugging me since lunch.

It shouldn't have really bothered me. One of my co-workers told the rest of us (four other guys and me) that he's signed up on a couple of dating sites, that he's looking for women a good ten years younger than he is... and that he's ignoring the profiles of overweight women. My reaction should have been, OK, he's just a douchebag. Nothing personal against me, as an overweight woman. It's not like *I* was going to date him or anything.

Still. It bothered me. It bothered me that he was that superficial, and it bothered me that another co-worker reacted to my obvious indignation by saying that it isn't shallow to want to date someone who's physically attractive (insinuating, as my single-and-searching co-worker had, that overweight women can't be physically attractive). It bothered me that prejudice against overweight women was happening right in front of me.

And it bothered me that it was completely valid and true. Like one of my college friends once said: It's ultimately the inside that counts, yes, but it's the outside that gets a guy interested.

When it became obvious how irritated I was, Single Guy tried (unsuccessfully) to steer the conversation another way, by asking me if I'd always been overweight. Gee, thanks. Actually, yes, I have; the kids on the playground used to taunt me and tell me that I was "as fat as the whole universe."

Finally, finally, one of my other co-workers came right out and said, "Let's change the subject," and another started talking to me about video games. I must have looked pretty pissed, since everyone on my end of the table had started running interference for me.

I came home and told my husband what my co-worker had said about his online dating experiences so far, and he basically shrugged and agreed with Single Guy: Nobody wants to date an ugly fat chick. Which made me start to doubt the validity of my indignation. Was I right to be pissed? I've had guy friends before who prefer skinny, waify chicks, and I've resented that, but it's just their preference. I prefer tall men; does that mean I discriminated against shorter guys when I was dating? (Actually, no, it doesn't, come to think of it — I did date guys my height, but I just preferred the taller ones.)

I've never wanted to flip someone off so much as I did at that restaurant today. But I'm still conflicted as to why I'm so pissed. Is it just the general injustice of single women being dismissed without even a chance, or is it more that I remember what it was like to be overweight and single? Or is it that I still self-identify as an ugly, fat chick? (Face it, folks: modeling is NOT a career option for me — not even plus-size modeling.)

I don't know. But I need to let it go. Being angry doesn't suit me.

A New Option

Just noticed a new Explore feature on my Google Reader. When I clicked the little arrow beside one of its suggestions for me, this menu popped up:

Is there some way I can apply this sort to the reports I develop at work? Or maybe I should just pull this terminology out of my hat sometime when there IS no sort: "Oh, yeah, that's actually not sorted by last name or by medical record number. It's sorted by MAGIC."

*snort*

Our Evening Ritual

As much as I love cats for what they are, they're not exactly the trainable type. As their "person" (because, really, can anyone actually *own* a cat?), you'll be lucky to get them to actually do anything on command, and it'll happen mainly by getting the cat to do something they already wanted to do, anyway.

For example, the cat I had during middle school and high school, Sylvester, used to sit on top of the fridge and turn his head upside-down. We thought it was so cute that we started catching him at it, telling him to "be cute," and giving him a treat. After a while, he would "be cute" on command, especially if you were already armed with a treat.

Cats can definitely recognize and respond to certain vocabulary words, though not quite as many as a dog can. They can also tell time — some cats better than others.

When Aaron and I got our cat, Mei, about five years ago, I took it upon myself to train her to know when it was time for dinner, and to say please (or at least "meow"). It took Mei quite a while to pick up on this as a kitten, even though I repeated the same words and the same actions at the same time every day. By now, though, it's our evening ritual.

[Download: kittydinner.mp3, 660KB, 42 seconds]

Postscript: I played this mp3 so many times — to edit out the hum of the refrigerator, and to test the niftyplayer I downloaded — that I confused the shit out of Mei, since she kept hearing my voice say "the words," even though it's well after "time." So, I gave her kitty treats.

Within Your Means

I've been feeling a little guilty this year. —No, guilty isn't quite the word I'm looking for, but it'll do for now.

The economy has gone to shit. I know people who have lost their jobs. I know people who have lost their houses. Yet, here we are, myself and my husband, enjoying our pricey Starbucks every weekend, splurging on sushi at least once a month (if not more), and flouncing off to Tokyo this past May. We've also planned a weekend getaway to Chicago for Labor Day Weekend, and have every intention of going someplace especially awesome again next Spring.

Like I said, part of me feels uncomfortable with our conspicuous consumption. Yet, on the other hand, I'm proud of us for being able to afford our few extravagances.

Aaron and I were so used to scraping by. When we first moved in together, Aaron was working part time, and I had a shitty-paying job that had nothing to do with my degree. We opted to keep our finances separate — an arrangement that we still keep to this day. We each paid our own personal bills, like student loans and credit cards, but split the rent and car insurance and utilities and such.

When Aaron went full-time, that definitely helped us financially. With his higher pay, we were able to afford our new car (to make us a two-car household), and our wedding, and our house. He started paying more than half of the bigger bills, like the rent/mortgage payment, and footing the bill for most of our leisure activities, all of which made my life a lot easier.

Then, two years ago, I got laid off of my shitty-paying job (which, surprisingly, gave me a respectable severance package), and subsequently found my current job. Aaron and I are now on equal financial footing again, as far as income goes, and are doing well. Our aforementioned "new car" has been paid off for a couple of years now. My severance package paid for one of our vacations, and I was happy to pitch in some savings and some credit to help fund the other two. I rolled over the 401(k) from my old job into my new job. I squirrel away money into my savings every pay period automatically, so I barely even miss it.

Have we been lucky? Absolutely. I don't deny that.

So, what if our luck runs out? What if I find out that, on top of not getting a merit raise this year, I'm getting a cut in salary — or, worse, that one of us is getting laid off permanently?

I have almost a three-month emergency fund saved up in a high-yield savings account, so we wouldn't be S.O.L. right away. And that's assuming we wouldn't make any lifestyle changes, like canceling our cable internet, or going back to eating ramen noodles like the old days. I'd go back to paying the minimum on my credit cards, and I'd look into getting a forbearance on my student loan. I'm sure Aaron would do the same. And whichever of us was still gainfully employed would pick up the slack. That's part of what being married is all about, after all.

I'm not trying to sound condescending or smart, and I hope this doesn't come off that way. I'm trying to point out that, even after I got a new job with a salary that was waaay beyond what I'd expected, our financial reach didn't exceed our grasp. Sure, I still have a massive student loan debt to pay off, and I carry credit card balances. I'm not debt-free, not by a long shot. But it's manageable.

And I refuse to feel guilty for enjoying myself every once and a while.

What's New With Me

I rarely do these catch-all blog posts anymore, but since I've committed to blogging every weekday for a while, I figure I can let one of these slip in.

Last night I bid on (and won) a Yashica FX-3 35mm film camera on eBay. I bought it specifically so I could have a battery compartment cover that will also fit the Yashica FX-D Quartz I already own — I think that's all that's wrong with it. This particular model of camera won't work with a dead battery, and the battery cover is completely stripped out, so it's nigh on impossible to remove the cover once it's screwed in. So, if a fresh battery fixes it, then I have two cameras to play with, and I just have to swap the battery cover between them. (Also? Once I get the FX-D working, I'm planning to re-leather it for cheap.)

Today I finished running a test roll through the Spartus Full-Vue. Brought it to work, in fact, and got several comments about the fancy/old camera sitting on my desk. The test roll will include photos from my house, the Hindu Festival, and downtown Toledo. I really hope I kept the camera on "instant" exposure instead of "time" exposure — when I went to remove the film this evening, it was on "time", which could mean that the last part of the roll will be especially blurry and overexposed. Crossing my fingers that I didn't accidentally fuck up my test roll...

I mentioned the Hindu Festival — Aaron and I went to see my supervisor perform a Bollywood-style dance with a group. Well, to be fair, that wasn't the only reason we went — we wanted to try the food and see the sellers' stalls, too — but it was the main one, and the reason I knew the festival even existed. My supervisor, it turns out, once did classical dance (she's built for it like I never was — my height, but long-limbed), and she was a joy to watch.

And now for something completely different: I went on my first walk/jog in a VERY long time yesterday morning, and I'm feeling it today. I only ran for a total of maybe three or four minutes out of the 20 I was outside, but I'm OK with taking baby steps. My plan is to walk/jog — or do "interval training," as it were — on Sunday mornings and Tuesday and Thursday evenings. How I do it: I have an exercise playlist set up on my iPod, where the songs are mostly four minutes long, and between 100 and 150 beats per minute. I run through the first verse and chorus, then see how I feel — run through another verse, or switch back to a walk? I should probably stick to more brief jogging stretches for now, and not try to push myself too hard in the middle of my jog like I did on Sunday (damn you, Kool and the Gang). I also should add more songs in the neighborhood of 150 bpm, as I think that's about the pace I jog (gauged from running around the basement for less than a minute just now).

Well, It may not be terribly coherent, but that's the latest in a nutshell. Looking forward to the International Festival this coming Saturday, going to King's Island with Amy and Aaron in a few weeks, and going to Chicago over Labor Day Weekend. Which reminds me: I need to go research the conveyor belt sushi joints in Chicago...

Stupid Mobile Ads

When I was still using the free version of TwitterFon, I got a couple memorable ads for IQ tests online. They were so memorable, in fact, that I took screenshots so I could share them later. I'd hoped to collect more inane ads, but I've since upgraded to TwitterFon Pro, and I'm successfully ignoring the ads that pop up in other apps (like Weather Channel, USA Today, QuickTip, Shazam...)

Anyway, these are the two that caught my eye:

Can you FAIL an IQ test? I don't think you can! So, yes, I can pass an IQ test. With flying colors, in fact — thanks for asking!

I think I'm smarter than you, Mr. I Work At An Ad Agency And Don't Know The Difference Between Your And You're.

*facepalm*

Nourishing Friends

The graphic designer Milton Glaser once said,

There was in the sixties a [gestalt therapist] named Fritz Perls who ... proposed that in all relationships people could be either toxic or nourishing towards one another. It is not necessarily true that the same person will be toxic or nourishing in every relationship, but the combination of any two people in a relationship produces toxic or nourishing consequences. And the important thing that I can tell you is that there is a test to determine whether someone is toxic or nourishing in your relationship with them.

Here is the test: You have spent some time with this person, either you have a drink or go for dinner or you go to a ball game. It doesn’t matter very much, but at the end of that time, you observe whether you are more energised or less energised. Whether you are tired or whether you are exhilarated. If you are more tired, then you have been poisoned. If you have more energy, you have been nourished. The test is almost infallible and I suggest that you use it for the rest of your life.

My friend Dan has to be one of the most nourishing friends there is.

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Using Jet Lag To My Advantage

I was actually on time to work this morning, having returned from a two-week vacation and a long weekend. Well, as on-time as I get, anyway: 8:05am or so.

I'd awakened well before my alarm, at 6:40am, thanks to insane jet lag messing with my daily rhythms. It was kind of nice, actually, being a bit of a morning-ish person, if just for a while. I had a nice slow and relaxed morning.

Now, this evening, I've been chilling on the couch, not doing any of the to-do list I'd made for myself (and quite enjoying the low-key evening, too). I've been dozing in and out, doing what I said I wasn't going to do: staying up later than my body wants to. I should really use our VCR instead of staying up "late" to watch my current favorite show.

I hope I haven't sabotaged my newfound morningness by staying up to watch my TV show. We'll see tomorrow, I suppose.

Twitter Is What You Make It.

Last month, my co-workers discovered Twitter. They didn't join it — far from it. In fact, they seemed not to grasp the usefulness at all, decrying it as self-serving and stupid, and leaving me to defend it during one of our weekly lunch outings. I think I fared well in Twitter's defense, as I got some conciliatory nods before the subject veered in another direction.

I can totally see where the Twitter haters are coming from. I really didn't get it myself until I was more mobile: first with my lame-o pay-as-you-go flip phone (which, unbeknownst to me, couldn't text to short codes or international numbers, which totally foiled my plan to Twitter our Hawaii vacation last year), and now with my iPhone.

Twitter can be stupid. I'll grant you that. Depending on how you use it, it can be a tool of complete drivel and juvenile chatter. With a little thought and research, and occasional pruning, it can also be useful, informative, and a much-needed diversion at times. It all depends on who you choose to follow.

As for me, the people I follow tend to fall into categories:

1. Friends and Acquaintances. These are the people who can tweet pretty standard things like "back to work for another monday," and I'll continue to follow them, just because. They'll occasionally tweet a piece of important personal news, and I'll be glad I was on the front lines to see it and respond (if appropriate). Friends and acquaintances (both IRL and online) comprise about one-third of my flock.
2. Industry Experts. I consider myself a web design hobbyist (I get the occasional word-of-mouth freelance gig), as well as a fairly recent convert to Business Intelligence. Most of the "industry" people I follow are web designers whose work I've admired for years, although I do follow a couple of businesses that would count for this category. Industry folks make up maybe one eighth of who I follow.
3. Hobbies and Interests. I try to spread these out; I find that if I follow multiple people who tweet about a particular interest of mine, one or two tend to rise up about the rest, content-wise, and the others get weeded out. Currently, I follow a couple of diet/fitness coaches, some atheists, a local record store, a couple of GTD experts, a nerdcore rapper, a sci-fi author, a couple of bloggers, and Wil Wheaton, among a few others. My varied interests make up something like almost half of the people I follow.

Some people fit into multiple categories, like acquaintances and industry experts, or industry experts and interests, so it's hard to come up with an exact breakdown of who I follow and why.

You may notice that I don't have a category specifically for "celebrities," although that seems to be what the media is latching onto about Twitter lately. I follow some "internet celebrities," like Heather Armstrong and her husband Jon. I'm sure that Whil Wheaton would fit into the celebrity category, too, although I tend to think of him as a writer who acted in a movie and a TV show I like, and as just a slightly different brand of geek than I am.

Just because someone I know or a company I like has an account on Twitter, that doesn't necessarily mean I'll follow them. This isn't a popularity contest — not to me, anyway. For the most part, I try to follow people whose tweets are relevant, interesting, thought-provoking, funny, helpful, newsworthy, or any combination of these. Sometimes it's a LOL-inducing twitpic; other times, it's a software announcement or links to little-known and under-publicized news stories.

(Next week, my contribution to the Twitterverse will include massive amounts of photos and observations from Japan. Look for it.)

Learning to Get Things Done

I haven't quite finished reading Getting Things Done (Note: I'd love to hyperlink to Amazon here, or even italicize the title, but my blog is still not accepting HTML), but I've at least started collecting my stuff to do, getting it all in one place, and revisiting the master list on a weekly basis.

Once I master this system, this could seriously help me manage the procrastination problem I've had for so long.

The key for me has been this: if it only takes two minutes, and you're in a place where you can do it now, DO IT NOW. There's no reason to put it off until later. It'll take as much energy to write it down and prioritize it as it would have to just go do it already.

Having discrete tasks has also helped me not get pulled off-track as often. As much as I would LOVE to go putz around and figure out WTF is wrong with my blog, there are other things that I know I can actually get done tonight, like spraying for ants or editing a podcast.

I still have a long way to go, and a lot more archived to-do items to dredge out and add to the Someday/Maybe list. (I have a stack of scrap paper and text files and e-mails with to-do items and ideas from over three years ago. I wish I were exaggerating.)

Until I officially reach Inbox Zero, though, at least I'm headed in the right direction.

A Quick Thought About "Sexting"

Back in the mid-to-late-90's, before cameraphones or affordable digital cameras, if you wanted especially sexy photos of your honey, you had to either know someone who knew someone who had access to photo developing, or you had to know about THAT ONE PLACE in town that would develop and print ANYTHING. (Within reason.)

Or you had to find a Polaroid One-Step at the thrift, which is the route we went. And, boy, the two times we used that Polaroid were fun and sexy at the time, but overexposed and unsexy afterward.

People who came of age even just five years after we did had a completely different experience. These days, kids and young adults have easy access to digital cameras and cell phones that don't care what kinds of photos you take. I can completely understand why hormonally-charged adolescents and post-adolescents would get off on sending sexy pictures of themselves to their boyfriends.

What's unfortunate, though, is that the part of the brain that makes decisions and judgments is the last to develop, as I understand it. Doesn't texting a sexy picture of yourself to your Significant Other sound pretty erotic? Sure it does — until you think one or two steps ahead. I know that there were plenty of times I was guilty of that sort of reasoning — well, not about sexy pictures, but about other things, like words said and notes written and homework ignored and classes skipped.

Is there a solution? Sure. Make sure your children understand the permanence of the internet, and teach them how to think critically and project the consequences of their actions. It's not a quick and easy fix, like putting a content filter on your internet and TV, but it's a thorough and responsible solution. I know I can't really pass judgment, because I don't have children; but I do know what my mother taught me about sex and responsibility, and what I learned on my own.

If I'd had a digital camera or a cameraphone back in 1997, would we have taken sexy pictures like we did with the Polaroid? I'm not sure we would have, since the novelty wouldn't really have been there. If we had, though, they might have looked a little less... embarrassing.

Privacy Policy

Speak when you are angry — and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
—Lawrence Peter

I snapped at my brother-in-law yesterday at Easter. I really should have held my tongue; he had been in a car accident the day before, and was physically and mentally out of sorts. But he made an angry comment to Aaron about how he didn't want people taking his picture without telling him — which is my M.O. at family gatherings. I'd actually already snapped one of him earlier, thinking his drugged-up state looked kind of cute.

So, I "thanked" him for telling me to my face not to take his picture, instead of telling my husband. He muttered something as I turned away, apparently not for my ears.

The private conversation that Aaron had with him later covered many topics, one of which was my penchant for taking candid photos and posting them online, either on my blog or on Flickr. I honestly hadn't considered the fact that I don't have explicit permission from the subjects to post their photos publicly; they're snapshots of my friends and family. If I'd wanted to publish them in a magazine or use them in my online portfolio, I would certainly ask (and have in the past). But for my blog? For my Flickr?

After I cooled down and considered the implications, it occurred to me that I've posted people's personal information on my blog multiple times. I've posted people's full names along with their photos. While I don't personally have a problem with posting info about myself online, other people might. (Actually, some people definitely do, even apart from my brother-in-law; one former co-worker from college has specifically asked me not to post her last name, to make her less searchable online for professional reasons.)

So, now I'm on a mission to rectify the situation. I'm going to remove references to people by their full names in all my blog entries; luckily, there aren't many of those. (I reserve the right to keep full names of people I'm trying to find, in the hopes that they'll Google themselves and find me.) I'm also going to set any photos of people on Flickr (ones not taken in public or at conventions, anyway) to be viewable by friends and family only, unless they've told me they're OK with having their picture online. So, if you're a regular reader and you know I have photos of you posted on my Flickr, feel free to speak up in advance one way or the other. Also, if you don't have a Flickr account, and still want to be able to see pictures of my friends and family, you might want to sign up and friend me (it's free, after all).

In this era of widespread indexing of information, I suppose we should all be more conscious of how we could potentially be violating others' rights to privacy. Sorry if I stepped on any toes.

Dreams

In looking through my e-mail for things I'd meant to blog, but never did, I came across this bit from April of last year:

I’m not much for literal dream interpretation. After some inspection of my own dreams over time, though, I can start to see patterns and themes. Symbolism. Things like that. I can tell what was just thrown into my dreams as a replay of the day’s events, and I can draw parallels between situations in my dreams and situations in real life. I know that certain people that appear in my dreams represent certain aspects of myself.

Lately, I’ve been dreaming about skipping school. Either I really want to skip class and end up just not going to school at all, or I skip class and I didn’t mean to. Sometimes, school is college, and sometimes it’s a weird conglomeration of college and high school.

Yesterday, I posted this dream on Twitter:

Before that, last week, I had a dream that included one of my co-workers. I didn't write it down, and I didn't talk about the contents of the dream, so I don't remember exactly what he was doing in my dream.

As we were standing in line the next day to grab some coffee at Biggby's, though, I went ahead and told him that he'd been in one of my dreams the previous night. That can be awkward — how do you respond to that? After he blushed and laughed ("I've never been in a co-worker's dream before!"), we ended up having a brief and intriguing conversation about dream interpretation as we waited for our coffee.

He started with, "Do you believe...?"

That kind of opening always evinces the skeptical "hairy eyeball" from me, and this was no exception. Turns out that he wasn't being quite that open-ended about it, and simply asked what I thought about how the brain reinterprets things in dreams. I made it clear that I don't believe in clairvoyance or precognition, but that I find it completely possible that the subconscious picks up on clues and signals in our surroundings that we don't consciously perceive.

Like I've mentioned before, I'm pretty sure that the recurring characters in my dreams represent certain aspects of my life. Maybe my co-worker now represents my work life and/or my career in IT.

As for the Japan dream, that one's easy to interpret.

(BTW, 140 characters was way too short to include all the nuances of the dream. It also included a cashier / counter girl who spoke excellent English and a cash register that doubled as a bun-warmer for sample sandwiches.)

Good Mood

I've been in an exceptionally good humour today, and have been trying to pin down why. I suppose it doesn't really matter, but it kind of does.

Physically, I feel well-rested, despite getting no more than my usual seven-ish hours of sleep. Maybe it had something to do with last night's workout? This morning's Skinny Double Mocha helped, too, in more ways than one. I got sufficiently caffeinated, for sure, but I also enjoyed feeling like a part of the group. (Six of us walked over to Biggby's together and shared buy-one-get-one coupons.)

I've also been particularly productive at work lately, and the work I've been doing has been helpful to other members of my team. That makes me feel useful and needed, and like I belong. The last time I felt like that was a good two years ago, when I was developing the Loan Corrections database at Sky.

Hopefully, this good mood is sustainable over a few days, and isn't just a one-shot thing for today. I'll do what I can to keep it rolling.

Time to head back in to work, though I'd love to stay outside with my favorite tunes and my portable internets and the warm sun and the fresh breeze. Ah, Spring.

Transparency

Yes, it's the middle of the day, and I'm blogging. I'm on my lunchbreak, sitting in the abandoned foodcourt of Portside, tapping away on my iPhone. I point this out so I won't get busted later for blogging during work hours.

See, my direct supervisor is also one of my friends on Facebook. There have been times when I wondered if that was a smart move, since my Facebook is basically a Tumblr account, aggregating all my blog entries, shared items from Google Reader, favorites from YouTube, Flickr photos, etc. I think, though, that having her in the loop keeps me from blogging anything I might regret later, like publicly admitting when my sick day is actually a "mental health day," or Tweeting something unsavory about work, or talking smack about just about anybody (at work or otherwise). My Mom reads my blog and Facebook, too, but I'd be more concerned about losing future favorable references or getting myself into professional trouble than pissing off my Mom.

Besides my boss, many of my friends read my blog, so I try to keep some things under wraps. I don't use this as my "diary" like I did back in 2002, just because it's more widely read. I can't just say, "Something So-and-so said today made me really uncomfortable," or "I really wish So-and-so would stop calling," although I'm not afraid to say that I wish our friends (read: Aaron's friends) would call and want to get together more often.

Something else to consider is the fact that I use the same username on every forum and site I'm on, so I always have to be on guard. Well, not so much "on guard" as just aware of the image I'm putting out there. This is the Internet, after all, and even locked posts have a way of becoming more public via email or IM, if someone sees the need.

Am I worried? No, not really. If I were, I'd use something more elusive as my alias, and I certainly wouldn't use my full name as my domain. I mean, I already got my debit card number stolen once, and I survived that. I don't publish my SSN online or anything, and I'm not popular enough on the internet that people will look up my address and stalk me, or try to break in while I'm gone, or follow me to work.

I'm comfortable with my level of transparency. In fact, I kind of like it. It's refreshingly honest. This is me; take it or leave it.

Tracking and Trending

I've often felt like I'm a little anal-retentive about the things I track and record on a regular basis. But nothing I do holds a candle to Nicholas Felton.

In one sense, the Annual Reports started in 2004 with a single-page, best-of-the-year survey. While this “Best of Four” was filled primarily with items I’d enjoyed the most over the previous year, it also contained some smaller, objective items I could excavate from the year without trying too hard. These items, such as the “most-played song,” “air miles traveled” and “digital versus analog photos” formed the basis of the following reports, while the subjective elements have become much less prominent.

I looked at Felton's most recent Annual Report, and found it both intriguing and excessively OCD. Then it occurred to me how many things I track in my own life:

• Music - tracking listening habits via Last.fm and iTunes
• Food - tracking eating habits for Weight Watchers by hand in a journal
• Weight - tracking daily/weekly weight over the past six years via Excel spreadsheet
• Photos - geotagging on Flickr, cataloguing and tagging via Adobe Bridge
• Concerts - via Last.fm Events (and physical ticket stubs saved)

I'm sure there are other data and trends I could extract from my online interactions (like Facebook and YouTube), and I know there must be daily actions that it would behoove me to track more regularly (like my sleep habits).

I'm sure it would also be helpful if I actually looked at the trends that the data reveal — do I gain more weight after a weekend including sushi or Indian food? Is there a correlation between amount of sleep and weight loss/gain? How does my diet directly affect my weight; how many Flex Points can I eat before I stop losing and start maintaining or gaining? What's the effect of eating five or six servings of vegetables versus only one in a day? There are so many possibilities, depending on how obsessive I want to get about the various aspects of my life. (Right now, my weight loss and food intake is the most trackable and accessible, so that's where my focus goes first.)

Might be worth some thought for me, as I'm already an anal-retentive bastard when it comes to tracking and listing certain things, anyway. Maybe dialing up the OCD will help me on several fronts.

Filler Post

As a general rule, I like to post "real" blog posts daily, or at least every weekday, so that the front page of my website doesn't end up consisting only of my tweets. Usually, even if I don't have the time or brainpower to tackle one of my many backlogged topics (I do have a list), I can come up with something decent: a photo, or a link, or a YouTube video.

Alas, tonight I have been busy productive on other fronts instead. I edited and posted the Drinking Gourd Podcast (wherein Jay Rinsen Weik discusses the Zen ancestor Shih-T'ou), I made another man-candle for Rob, I backed up my photos from 2008 onto two DVD-Rs, and I finally washed my dirty dishes. Plus, I did some yoga to help stretch out my muscles, which are sore from being too macho while moving furniture yesterday.

It's going to feel good to check off a few high-priority items from the To Do app on my iPhone (which is how I prioritize these days). Heck, yeah.

Facebook Friends

Social Networking is a great tool for staying in touch with friends, and for making new ones. It can also be satisfyingly voyeuristic, seeing what your old acquaintances are up to these days without having to make the commitment to actually socialize with them.

On Twitter, there have been a few people I follow who have stated that they're conducting a Facebook purge — removing "friends" who haven't contacted them outside of Facebook within the last year.

That made me think about the demographics of my own friend pool. Being the anal-retentive list-maker that I am (is it any wonder I got into Business Intelligence and reporting as a career?), I tallied and graphed my relationships with all my Facebook friends:

Category A = People I see face-to-face or e-mail on a regular basis
Category B = People I wish I saw or spoke with regularly, but don't
Category C = People with whom I'd lost touch, and am still curious about
Category D = People I knew once upon a time, but no longer have contact with
Category E = People I've never met in real life

Interestingly enough, I'm less likely to remove people from my E list than my D list, since I had to specifically evaluate the people I'd never met in order to decide whether or not to just ignore their friend request. With people I once knew, it's harder to say no — for me, anyway.

I think that I'll be going through my D list tonight and pruning out some folks. So, if you're a regular reader of my blog and you find yourself missing me on your friends list, just re-add me. I'm guessing that most of my D list won't even notice I'm gone...

My Husband: A Meme

One of the posts that came down my Google Reader pipeline today was a Facebook meme I actually hadn't seen yet (wonder of wonders!), posted by, of all people, Dooce.

(Incidentally, I wonder how many of her readers immediately said to themselves, "OMG HEATHER IS ON FACEBOOK?" and rushed off to friend her? Not me — I'm actually trying to prune the Facebook friend insanity.)

Although I've been doing the standard memes on Facebook instead of my main blog, I decided to fill out this one here, since it's about Best Friend #1: my husband.

What are your middle names?
Mine is Marie. It's a family name; my mom has it, and her dad's mother had it.
Aaron's is Russell. It's a family name; his dad has it, and his dad's dad had it.

How long have you been together?
We've been together since March 1996, so almost 13 years now. We've been married for the last 5+ of those.

How long did you know each other before you started dating?
We were introduced for the explicit purpose of dating, but we knew each other for about three weeks before officially becoming "a thing."

Who asked whom out?
I asked him out, via e-mail. —Well, no, that's not entirely true. I introduced myself to him, we volleyed e-mails back and forth, then he suggested that we should meet for coffee before the online thing got too weird.

How old are each of you?
He's 34; I'll be 33 in April. For some reason, I can always remember his age easier than I can remember mine. He's almost a year and a half older than I am.

Whose siblings do you see the most?
Since I don't have any full siblings, we definitely see his brother more often. I do have a step-brother — we still see Aaron's brother more, though, since he lives relatively close by now, and my step-brother goes to OSU.

Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
I used to think it was our opposite schedules, but I'm realizing that our opposite schedules are an integral part of our unique relationship dynamic. We each get to do our thing during the week, and not feel bad about dissing the other person. On the weekends, we have quality time. It works surprisingly well.

Did you go to the same school?
He transferred from UT to BG after we had been dating for a while.

Are you from the same home town?
No.

Who is smarter?
He would probably say I am. I say we're both equally smart, often in very different ways.

Who is the most sensitive?
Neither of us are particularly mushy; I'd have to call that one a draw, too.

Where do you eat out most as a couple?
Our current front-runner is Fujiyama, a great sushi place just up the road from us.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Tokyo, Japan.

Who has the craziest exes?
Aaron, hands down. My exes were just insensitive dorks; his drank ammonia, ran screaming in the rain after prom, french-kissed like a fish, and other things I'm not privy to disclose.

Who has the worst temper?
Aaron. He's been known to throw things (not at me) and yell (mostly at or about inanimate objects). I yell very infrequently, although I do get bitchy more often than I used to.

Who does the cooking?
Aaron, generally. We have opposite shifts during the week, so we're only together for meals on the weekends, and we mostly go out for our meals these days. When we do cook at home, though, Aaron definitely takes the lead.

Who is the neat-freak?
If I had to pick, I'd say Aaron. I'm kind of OCD about certain things, but he generally reaches his threshhold of dirty way before I do.

Who is more stubborn?
We're both definitely stubborn in different ways. He tends not to want to do things if coerced; it has to be his idea. (Isn't everyone like that, though?) I'm more passive-aggressive about my stubbornness.

Who hogs the bed?
We take turns. Because of our different schedules, I go to bed first, then he comes home from work after I've been in bed for half the night, so sometimes I have a leg or an arm sprawled on his side when he comes to bed. Then again, sometimes he rolls over and takes his half out of the middle while he sleeps.

Who wakes up earlier?
Me, thanks to our aforementioned schedules. I'm up around 7am (or thereabouts), and he's up at noon.

Where was your first date?
Cosmo's coffee shop in Bowling Green, OH. I got an Italian soda (I wasn't into coffee yet) and we sat at the window table and talked for hours. Alas, Cosmo's is no more, and is now a Mexican restaurant.

Who is more jealous?
Hard to tell. I don't think either of us are very jealous.

How long did it take to get serious?
We were physically serious fairly early on (read: making out like monkeys in the TV lounge on the second date), but we took things really slow otherwise. About a year and a half or two years into our relationship, I think things really started to get comfortable and long-term.

Who eats more?
Technically, he does. We're both on the same diet, and he gets allotted more calories since he's a male with a non-sedentary job, versus me being female with a desk job.

Who does the laundry?
I do, while he does the grocery shopping. This is a throwback from our college days, when I didn't have a car and we'd both go and do laundry and shopping together. Later on, once we moved in together (and had two cars), we'd split up and I'd hit the laundromat while he hit the grocery store. Now that we have a washer and dryer at home, the same Sunday schedule persists.

Who's better with the computer?
Hardware? We're both on a par, although he likes to take charge. As software goes, I have him beat with Photoshop and HTML, not counting my other geeky coding pursuits.

Who drives when you are together?
Aaron — again, a throwback to when I didn't have a car. I'm fine with that, though.

Treating Myself

The last time I got my hair cut was late September, when I got a much shorter 'do than I'd requested. It took four months for the front of my hair to finally grow out to where I'd wanted it in the first place. Meanwhile, the back was growing out all funky and ragged, and the layers I'd been given were atrocious.

So, this evening I headed out to my long-awaited appointment at Attitudes, per the suggestion of Kris's girlfriend. I knew going in that my haircut was going to be literally four or five times more expensive than my discount cut, but I was perfectly fine with that.

As Connie had promised, the receptionist asked if I'd like a beverage, and offered to take my coat for me. (Fancy!) Shortly thereafter, I was ushered in by my stylist's associate (read: understudy). When my stylist Kristie arrived, I explained to her the debacle of my previous haircut, and gave her an idea of what I wanted — basically, to shorten the back and to have the whole style generally cleaned up.

Now, to anyone who regularly goes to a "real" hair salon, the whole salon experience will seem like no big thing. For me, though, what followed was such a 180 from the discount place that I absolutely fell in love. First, I got an awesome shampoo and scalp massage. Incredibly relaxing. It made me realize how much I neglect my scalp when I wash my own hair.

When I came back out for my haircut, Kristie was especially attentive to details — down to checking the hairline at the nape of my neck BEFORE cutting it too close and realizing that I have a bit of a cowlick. She also showed her associate what she was doing and why, which was informative for me, too.

The proof is in the pudding, though. Here we have my before and after shots:

It's tough to see in the Before photo, but the back of my hair was horribly scraggly and long. Kristie cleaned it up fantastically, and, like I said, with exquisite attention to detail. The final outcome is a little rounder than I'd been thinking originally, but she didn't steer me wrong. I like it.

If you're looking for a hair salon in south Toledo, I highly recommend Attitudes. Everyone was very friendly and professional, and I came out with a hairstyle that I absolutely love. (Their shampoo and styling products also made my hair smell fantastic!)

I tipped Kristie 20%. I hope that's sufficient to express my appreciation.

The Quest For Inbox:Zero

My modus operandi with e-mail is to leave "pending" items in my inbox, then file them when I've done whatever it is that needs to be done with them. Reply to them, take action on them, whatever. While that works out well at my job, it only plays to my procrastinating tendencies at home, leading me to have e-mails in my inbox from literally five years ago.

It's fun interesting looking back at some of the stuff I'd intended to blog, but never got around to it, being that some of it ended up being mildly prescient / prophetic:

Fri 15 Dec 2006 | 4:47 PM

I’m not one to fall into the trap of blogging about specifics at work. Suffice to say that I have evidence that the high turnover rate in my department of late is likely to continue in the future. Our previous clockwork vibe is long gone, co-workers are complaining about one another, and our supervisor and her actions are unpopular in certain circles. The few people who have the best interests of the department in mind (myself included) are quickly moving toward just doing our jobs and the extra mile be damned.

Fri 29 Dec 2006 | 4:49 PM

I figured out last night why I'm so stressed about the possibility of losing this pregnancy. There will never be another individual exactly like this little one that's brewing right now. Even though it can't yet see, or hear, and doesn't even really have opposable thumbs yet, it has the potential to be a unique human being. If it doesn't make it, it's not only a child I wouldn't get to raise, but it's a person who wouldn't exist. It's like some weird wersion of It's A Wonderful Life or a Richard Bach story, thinking of all the people who haven't existed due to miscarriage or abortion. Who knows what potential leaders or philanthropists were never born, but were, in fact, meant to be?

Then, there are some slightly more recent almost-blogs that are more applicable to my life as it is today:

Mon 19 Nov 2007 | 4:21 PM

[My old job] vs. [my new job] is like marching band vs. drum corps - no one is here who doesn’t want to be here. Everyone is all business.

Also? Seniority is directly related to a person’s proximity to a window. At least in my dept.

(Incidentally? I will shortly be moving to a cube two spots closer to the window, after a year and change.)

Finally, there are some random goodies that are fun any day of the week:

Mon 27 Aug 2007 | 3:45 PM

[Heard at work:] "...teach them their prayers." Does God not listen to you unless you know the magic words? Mormons learn God's secret handshake in the temple, though, and that's no less ridiculous.

Fri 27 Jun 2008 | 11:30 AM

From a DBA [database administrator] at work, about a debacle he helped create: "Bah. That's part of the job. They just misspell it: should be DBAcle."

I still have about 80 e-mails in my inbox, dating back to January 2005 (the oldest ones are from genealogists and possible distant cousins looking to share research). Considering that I was way over 100 last week, I'm well on my way to zero.

Grinchy?

It's that time of year again: time to start sending out the Christmas cards.

Our Christmas card list began as our wedding invitation list — and does, in fact, still live on a tab in an Excel workbook entitled "Wedding Planner." It's morphed over the years, of course; friends have been added over the past 5+ years, and acquaintances have been axed as we've grown apart.

The list seems to have three main categories:

1. Family. His and mine. They get a card every year, regardless.


2. Close friends. Most of these people we communicate with on a regular basis, and we could save a stamp with many of them by just giving them their card when we see them next.


3. Used-to-be-close friends. We now only touch base with these people via Christmas cards, which is really kind of sad.

Not everyone reciprocates the Christmas card "exchange," though. Since Christmas of 2006, I've been keeping track of who has sent us Christmas cards in return. Maybe I'm channeling the Scrooge within, but I'm seriously considering a Three Strikes, You're Out policy: we send you a card for three years, you don't send us one, we assume you don't give a shit and will stop sending you these damn cards. Shallow? Perhaps. So be it.

If you send us a card, though, we'll send you one. There's something special about getting a tangible token of goodwill in this age of electronic communication. Even if you just took the time to print it out, and didn't write a personal message (which we also frequently omit), at least you took the time to think about us and how we might appreciate a card.

I wasn't overly impressed with the quality of our custom-printed cards this year, so I think I might do something a little more special and involved (read: scrapbooky and crafty) next year. That's still a long way away, though...

My Civic Duty

For the first time in my life, I've received the call to serve in the capacity of juror. It's actually not that big of an inconvenience for me, as I work downtown, anyway. I'd just end up parking in my normal garage (where my company subsidizes half of the monthly fee), and walk the few blocks to the courthouse.

The official mailing I received a few weeks back instructed me to call a given number on the evening before my first assigned day, to find out if my assigned group number would be needed for the day's work. When I called this evening, the pre-recorded message told me that groups numbered one through six would need to report around 11am. My group number: 23.

I think I might dodge the bullet this time around, but we'll see for sure tomorrow.

Hairstyle Update

Sheryl came to my rescue at work today, suggesting a slight side part and a few other serving suggestions (headband with wispies, teeny hair clips).

Of the people who saw my new 'do, about half told me how much they liked it. I'm assuming the other half were practicing the "if you can't say anything nice" school of thought. Either that, or they're trying to figure out if this is what my hair always looked like.

I'm starting to get more used to it. Like I told Sheryl, I wouldn't have tried anything like this of my own accord, but I suppose it's good to try something new — even if just to decide I don't want to do it again. And, after all, it's just hair. It'll grow back.

Adventures in Discount Hairstyling

You get what you pay for. Go to Great Clips for a $6.99 haircut, and that's exactly what you'll get.

As for me, I got a stylist who heard me say, "I'm not quite used to the short hair yet," saw me visually and verbally describe the cut I wanted, then proceeded to give me a MUCH shorter cut. To her credit, she did apologize for making it so short, after she said that it had turned out shorter than she'd thought.

What? You have the scissors, lady! My hairstyle is completely under your control! WTF.

So, now I'm stuck with a VERY short haircut that I didn't ask for, but that I now have to deal with for several months until it grows out. One thing is for certain: I am NEVER going back to Great Clips.

Cute Skirtness Redux

I bought this skirt at the mall last week. Afterward, I purchased some socks online — these are technically over-the-knee socks, but my still-oversized thighs forced the socks into submission as Harajuku-style scrunch socks. I finally located a black turtleneck sweater in the back of the closet to complete the outfit, and voila! Cuteness.

While shopping, I made the mistake of picking things up, saying, "But where would I wear this?" and putting them back. I almost said that with this skirt, but it was just too damned cute. It wasn't until later that I recalled a favorite sentiment from those evil What Not To Wear hosts: Do you need an excuse to look fashionable? Freaking wear it to the grocery store! Who cares?

Really, though: 80% of my wardrobe is casual clothes that I wear less than 30% of the time — that is to say, on the weekend. Sheryl thinks I could totally wear this outfit to work (with nylons instead of socks), but I'm kind of hesitant. I'd feel less professional and more cute, and I'm not sure how that would work out. Maybe, though. We'll see.

P.S. - For yet another startling photo comparison of my new weight versus the old, check out the original "Cute Skirtness" entry from March 2005.

Starting Over

Did 30 minutes of Wii Fit this evening, along with a little bit of housework. Currently working on the Zen podcast. Planning to go to Zen meditation tomorrow evening. Life is getting back into its normal, non-depressed groove.

I've decided that the best way to go from here, assuming my mood doesn't continue to improve, is the Fake It Till You Make It approach. Keep busy, keep upbeat, don't make it obvious that I have a shitty self-image, and eventually my brain will fall into line.

Wednesday evening is Zen. Thursday evening will involve doing yoga and cleaning my desk. Friday evening will be more Wii Fit and probably continuing to clean my desk. (I've noticed I do feel more positive and productive if my work area is clean and tidy.) The weekend will be the weekend, and on Monday, I will begin my blog migration / redesign in earnest. I may even move it and make it live before the design is completely done, just because I'm so looking forward to a new design and a decrufted installation of MT.

Keeping busy, but not TOO busy. Leaving time to pamper myself. Sit zazen. Tweeze my eyebrows. That sort of thing.

I'll be fine. Thanks for thinking of me. :-D

One Down, One Zillion To Go

Apart from a few minor issues that I need to finish addressing, my freelance gig is complete. The site is done, the client knows how to update it, and I've been paid for my work. Now the trick is to get Chelsea Tipton's website to come up first in the Google rankings for a search on his name, instead of being stuck on the second page of results.

Now that I have one project in the bag (or I will very shortly), I can contemplate my next project: moving and redesigning my blog.

And after that's done, I have a laundry list of projects that will literally never end. Not until I'm dead.

Minor things like editing home videos and outputting them to DVD. Major things like finishing a novel or two. Mundane things like getting my fucking desk clean once and for all. Pragmatic things like updating my resume and portfolio. Creative things like songwriting, or photography, or scrapbooking. Oh, Lordy, the scrapbooking. I haven't even finished scrapbooking our honeymoon, and we celebrated our 5th anniversary this past May.

Whenever I hear someone say they need a hobby, I want to invite them to have one of mine. I have more than I'll ever use up.

Never Thought It Could Happen To Me

I was out on a sushi double-date last Saturday when the first oddity arose. I went to pay for lunch, and my debit card was declined. My debit card? Huh. I chalked it up to weirdness with their credit card machine and paid with an actual credit card, which went through without a hitch.

Later on, Aaron suggested I try paying for our Starbucks with my debit card to see if the earlier issue had just been a glitch. Nope — my card was declined at Starbucks, too. I started to worry, and made a note to check my online banking when I got home.

Later that evening, I logged into my online banking and found the first major WTF: a $635 charge from Virgin Blue. Airline tickets?

I got on the phone immediately to the NCB call center.

The customer service rep who spoke with me was super polite and helpful and told me that my debit card had been frozen by the Fraud Department due to some suspicious charges. He gave me the number for Fraud, although they wouldn't be in until after the long weekend. That was OK: I wasn't overdrawn or anything, so it could wait.

Forgot to call Tuesday. Called from my desk at work on Wednesday. The woman in the Fraud Department was also very nice and explained that some unusual charges had come in. Since Saturday, another charge of about $400 from Oman Air had appeared in my online banking, in addition to the $635 charge for Virgin. (Good thing I'd just gotten paid, so my balance could take the hit.) Then she proceeded to rattle off the charges that they'd caught and stopped before they hit my account: London, Turkey, Skype, Yahoo, PayPal, all adding up to more than $1000 — and that's not counting the $1000 that DID post!

Now THAT would have wiped me out, but good.

So, the nice lady in Fraud ordered me a new debit card with a new card number (note to self: must change anything online that autodebits my debit card) and told me to go into a branch to fill out an affidavit of fraud to get credit for the charges that posted. Plus the International Transaction Fees that posted along with them. Sigh.

No problem. Left work early, went to the bank, and TaMika hooked me up. Didn't even have to fill out or sign anything — it was all done in their computer system. I should be getting my provisional credit in about four business days; until then, I'm going to be careful about which bills I pay when, so I don't overdraw myself before I get my $1000 back.

Despite all this, I'm not on the road to being one of those people who gets the prepaid credit cards from their bank for online shopping. I probably just used my debit card on one unscrupulous site — or with a company whose wi-fi network wasn't well-shielded enough — and away my number went. Who knows where it got leaked. At any rate, I'm still going to shop online, although I don't know if I'll be so cavalier about using my debit card online anymore.

My debit card number got stolen, and it turned out to be just a minor nuisance (so far). I count myself lucky: other people have had it worse.

The Daily Grind

I think it's funny that, anytime I sit down to write the sort of entry I would have written in a paper journal (back in the pre-blog Dark Ages of the year 2000), I feel the need to reaffirm the fact that this is still my personal journal. This isn't my full-time job, I'm not monetizing my blog, and I shouldn't feel like an inferior blogger just because I keep a wide-ranging, personal journal. I'm not topical, like some of the tech blogs; I don't craft witty and humorous essays like Dooce; I'm just making public what was once a private venture, from my first journal at age seven to my last pre-blog folders of scribbled notebook paper and "Talking to Myself" text files on my old Mac.

That said, here's what's going on with me:

read more...

Quote of the Day

Found on a scrap of paper on my desk:

"Do all your work as though you had a thousand years to live, and as you would if you knew you must die tomorrow."

—Mother Ann Lee, of the Shakers

More Unblogged Thoughts

Again, from the depths of my stale inbox:

4/20/05
I'm such a photographer. Everybody is oooh-ing and ahh-ing over someone's cute family picture, complete with a new baby, and all I can think is, "well, their bodies need to be overlapped more, and his head is tilted too far."

6/20/05
you can't leave your baby alone with your husband for three days while you go on vacation? i find that odd. i mean, when aaron and i procreate, we'll be learning together how to take care of our kid, and most likely one of us will be watching him or her while the other parent is at work, for the most part.

Little Bit of Everything

I don't do these massive update posts much anymore — I prefer to keep my blog entries on one topic at a time — but I figured I'd do one catch-up post, then maybe expound on parts of it later. So, working backwards from today...

Weighed in today at 196.5 lbs on my home scale — that's one and a half pounds away from my recent all-time low of 195 from May 2007. (Yep, I gained 15 pounds in six months, and it took me longer than that to lose it again.) It was a bit of a disappointment, then, to weigh in at my Weight Watchers meeting at 200.4 lbs, even after I had an ultra-light breakfast and didn't drink much water before the weigh-in. My mini-goal had been to weigh in under 200 pounds at the meeting. Oh, well — I guess I'll wait until next weigh-in to hit my mini-goal, and to reward myself with some shorts and dress pants and blouses that fit.

My supervisor asked me this morning if I'd like to attend a User Group meeting in Lansing (two hours away) this Thursday. Then she asked me if I could drive, since her car doesn't have air conditioning. D'oh! So, I'll be getting up at the buttcrack of dawn on Thursday, driving with my supervisor for two hours, attending four hours of Business Intelligence lectures and panels, then having lunch and driving two hours back. At least we don't have to work for the last couple hours of the day; basically, my day gets shifted forward by two hours.

I landed a freelance web design gig yesterday. Actually, I pretty much "landed" it last Wednesday, when he asked me if I do web design, but yesterday's client meeting was the first official sealing of our new business relationship. He's the resident conductor of a local orchestra, so I'm basically making him a PR tool, which is perfect work for me. I underpriced myself, as per usual, but I made sure to leave myself an out: a flat fee for the first 20 hours, then an hourly fee for the next 20, topping out at 40 hours. So, I won't have totally hosed myself.

This past weekend, Aaron and I went up to the Ann Arbor Art Fairs. Great time, as always. I took a few pictures (with the Holga, too, although I'll have to wait until those are developed to post them), and I bought one expensive thing and one not-so-expensive thing.

Oh, and I still need to get this blog moved to its new home on another web host, and not just because something's borked with my MT installation/upgrade (as you will have noticed if you tried to comment on a post lately — your comments ARE going through, I promise). I have until the end of August to get my stuff moved — which, incidentally, is also the deadline for getting my freelance site done. I'm going to be looking at some mighty busy evenings here. I'll need to carefully ration out my time.

And now I should get to bed, because I need to ready myself for my epic early-morning wakey-wakey in another day or so. I haven't gotten up at 5:30am since... um... well, it's been a while. Not counting jet lag in another timezone, of course.

Financially Speaking

I'm not a financial analyst; far from it. However, I did work for a financial institution for five years, and I lost my job as a result of that financial institution, Sky Financial Group, being acquired by Huntington Bancshares.

Since Huntington gave me a quite reasonable retention bonus and severance package (most of which still remains in my high-yield savings), and since my job loss was the catalyst for a new and better career move, and (most importantly) since my severance agreement included a clause against publishing negative commentary about the company, I'm disinclined to talk smack about Huntington.

However, that doesn't mean I'm not curious about how they're faring in the current financial climate. I've remained blissfully ignorant of most of the happenings of the bank since I left, with only a few bits and pieces making it my way through the grapevine. Now that things are coming to even more of a head in the financial world, though, I find myself wondering how that merger worked out for them.

Not so good, it seems.

read more...

My Brain Makes the Darndest Dreams

The inner workings of the brain never cease to amuse me.

This weekend, I did a few completely unrelated things:

1. Searched for Alton Brown's lentil soup recipe
2. Took a long walk with Aaron
3. Looked to see if my hometown of Medina was recorded for Google Street View
4. Read the menu of the restaurant I'd be going to today with my co-workers, to decide on an entree in advance

Last night, my brain concocted this great dream where I'd moved into a house in Medina. (I'm pretty sure that both Aaron and my mother lived there, too.) I was walking along the streets at night, when I came across none other than Alton Brown, talking into a bluetooth digital audio recorder. When I approached him, he was friendly, and we walked together to a local drug store which, inexplicably, sold food in the middle of the night. We ordered the special — which I ate until AB pointed out that the meat in the sandwich was mainly fatty, at which point I stopped and said I should really stick to my diet. I was also giddy and fangirl-ish and more candid than I needed to be, telling embarrassing stories about myself. Afterward, as we walked back to our respective homes, I discovered that my new Medina house was only three houses down from AB's house. I also discovered that it was 3am, and I'd been out for a Very Long Time.

Isn't the brain fun?

This Is So Me

From an e-mail to myself, recently discovered in the depths of my inbox:

Fri, Apr 15, 2005 at 4:54 PM

Have you been robbed by the three thieves of productivity - distraction, perfectionism and procrastination? If you are task and achievement oriented, you’ve struggled to keep these villains out of your life.

Here are some quick tips to help improve productivity.

• Spend a few moments when you get to work getting organized and creating a to-do list to reduce the risk of distraction.
• Is perfection getting in the way? That speech, project, or report is probably ready to go now. So let it fly.
• Always waiting for tomorrow? Learn how to produce a sense of urgency to ward off procrastination so you can act and avoid delays. Do it by focusing on the consequences of not completing a task and the rewards of getting it done.

There's no citation, so I'm guessing I got it from the company intranet. I can only find it in one place online.

It's so true, though, on all three counts. It's an ongoing self-improvement struggle for me to combat my procrastinatory tendencies. It's been an issue since I was a kid. Some things never change, I guess... but that doesn't stop me from trying.

Unusually Stylish

I tend to read Dooce's Daily Style section and just be amazed at all the kitschy, swanky, stylish stuff she can find. So, when I was in Barnes & Noble recently and found this in the clearance bin, I couldn't pass it up.

While I'm not usually one to glom onto delicate cuteness in baby blue, and I don't often have occasion to send Thank You cards, I thought these cards by Pepperpot were classy and well-designed, and I appreciated the small-press personal touch with the tie and tag around the cards.

The kicker? The keepsake box. Not only is it fairly strong and sturdy, but the lid has magnets to snap the lid shut. MAGNETS. In the LID. That appeals to my packrat nature in so many ways.

Now I wish I could find more. Alas, an Amazon search doesn't turn up much that isn't baby books.

Meme: Diana Needs...

I haven't done one of these in a while; and, no, I wasn't "tagged" for this one, either. I was just looking through some old blog entries yesterday, and came upon the "Diana is..." meme from a few years back, so I thought I'd do the related "Diana needs..." meme just for fun:

[Edited To Add: The idea here is to Google your first name with the verb "needs" or "is" and post the first several hits — particularly the amusing ones.]

Diana needs a wealthy husband who can provide her with the high life she craves while sheltering her from the media clamor that follows her every move.
> [Um, wrong Diana. Sorry.]

Diana needs a hug.
> [Always.]

Diana needs to come over and turn my charming studio into a warehouse loft!
> [Diana needs to paint her own living room first, kthx.]

Diana needs to make an announcement.
> [I do? Very well... I AM GOING TO HAWAII IN 35 28 DAYS.]

Diana... needs outa this town!
> [See above.]

Diana needs help.
> [Always.]

Diana needs to learn respect to the refs.
> [I got a rope... I got a tree... All we need is a... nevermind.]

Diana needs to take a trip to the museum to see all the beautiful paintings of women ten times bigger during the Roman/Greek times.
> [Maybe she does. Maybe Diana would feel better about herself if her likeness were dropped into a Boticelli or Bellini painting.]

Diana needs to get a few clues.
> [Again, always.]

Weekend Shopping

Last weekend, Aaron and I had an agenda. We were going to peruse the monthly flea market at the Wood County Fairgrounds in Bowling Green, hit the BG Goodwill while we were in town, and drive through downtown to see what's left of our old familiar haunts. After that, I thought maybe we'd hit Levis Commons (one of those outdoor malls) in Perrysburg on the way home.

We decided to eat lunch in BG, which went well; we tried the Old Town Buffet, a newer Chinese buffet on N. Main Street. They had different food than we were used to getting at a Chinese buffet, which was good — kept things interesting. Plus, they had good (if tame) sushi, and were reasonably priced. And I was good and only ate one plate of food, plus a little dessert. Score one for our BG trip.

The flea market was at least something to do, and someplace to walk around. There wasn't anything we were interested in actually buying, but some of the stuff was fun to look at. That, plus it's always interesting to people-watch at the flea market. Our trip around the booths was short and sweet, and we were fairly ambivalent about it. Didn't suck, but wasn't great.

Same with Goodwill. Looked around everything except the clothes (which take up most of the newly renovated and expanded store). Noticed some overpriced video games and systems that we didn't want. Left after our brief spin through the aisles.

After Goodwill, I let Aaron take me to that bastion of evildoing in retail, Wal-Mart, so he could see if they had any HD-DVDs on clearance. (Aaron, being the consumer of many dead media formats already, waited until HD-DVD was officially dead to purchase the HD add-on for his Xbox 360, thereby getting both the player and the movies at blowout prices.)

Of course, they didn't have any.

Our BG trip was getting more and more dismal. No Madhatter to visit, no interest in book-shopping or coffee-drinking at Grounds, no interest in just walking around campus. On our way out of town, we drove past campus and ogled at the not-really-new wider streets and the quasi-new street signs and all the corporateness that has sprung up around campus (Starbucks, Chipotle, and the like). Then we hit the highway and headed toward home, by way of Perrysburg.

It was still a little chilly to be walking around outside, but we made the best of it. Sort of. We went into Lane Bryant first, and left without buying one item. All of their "spring fashions" looked like the 70s and the 80s had a fat baby — the blouses all flaunted the worst patterns possible, and I couldn't find much of anything I would wear. Then we walked to Maggie Moo's, the ice cream place, since we'd never been there — and, for once, we realized that ice cream really wasn't calling to us. Then we stopped into J. Jill, just because I'd never been there before. At first, I thought I'd finally come home, because all the clothes looked like something I would wear; then I looked at the price tag on a particularly stylish skirt, and I promptly headed for the door after reading the $100 price tag. Somehow, we even managed to not really enjoy the bookstore: neither of us really had an agenda, and none of the magazines or manga or anything really caught our eye. So we just went home.

Well, that sucked.

Surprisingly enough, Sunday was a completely different story.

Aaron had heard that the Value City Department Store in Maumee was having a closing sale, and that the whole store was some ridiculous percentage off. He heard right, and we had a great time just browing the aisles for cheap awesomeness. We left Value City with a non-stick pan (from the collection of Rachael Ray), a decorative basket, a new purse for me, a pair of very thirsty and soft microfiber dishtowels, and three very awesome pairs of shoes for me, of which this is but one:

Our cashier was a character, and she topped off the whole experience by talking about how she'd heard about cooking cabbage and noodles for the first time that weekend, when someone else had bought a non-stick pan and told her that was what they were planning to make in said pan. This woman was an absolute hoot.

But the day kept going! After that, we swung past a gelato place for our first-ever taste of gelato (and, boy, was it yummy), followed by a trip two doors down to Avenue, where I bought myself the clothes I had been hoping to find at Lane Bryant the day before. I now have two more pairs of work/dress pants, a knit sweater, and a hooded spring jacket. Oh, and a nice lady in line behind me gave me a couple of coupons that saved me $17. Score!

So, last weekend was quite the odd dichotomy of suck and awesome. All in all, though, I think the awesome outweighed the suck.

Our Spelling May "Suprise" You

Seen Tuesday on weather.com:

As usual, I found the typo.

An Open Letter to Joseph, Whom I Met While Walking

Dear Joseph,

After having had some time to consider our random encounter this afternoon, I feel compelled to let you know that I'll be standing you up on your fifty-second birthday (April 11). I will also make a point of staying away from the meeting spot you designated when my birthday rolls around (April 22). Please allow me to explain why.

Firstly: starting a conversation with, "You're a pretty girl..." is generally considered creepy by girls everywhere, pretty or no. However, I was willing to engage in conversation with you simply because I'm not good at being rude and ignoring people. Plus, after your comment about how you'd like to grow your hair long like mine and bleach it blond, I thought our conversation would be harmless, brief, and amusing.

Secondly: handshakes are acceptable, even impressive. But please let go after said handshake. Talking at length whilst still holding the hand, then pulling the handshakee into a hug is generally considered improper when both parties are complete strangers. Above all, attempting to kiss a complete stranger on the mouth is highly improper, and attempting to tongue-kiss a stranger after she pushes away from your on-the-mouth kiss is grounds for a knee in the crotch. You should consider yourself ultimately lucky that all I did was give an emphatic "no" and push away.

Thirdly: Smelling like beer is not a good way to get to know a professional who happens to be on her lunch break, even if she has admitted to you that she likes to drink on occasion.

Fourthly: Declaring that you need a girlfriend and then asking your new acquaintance if she is single is not a particularly suave move. Upon her assertion that she is in fact NOT single, it is equally unsuave to answer that your new acquaintance's significant other "doesn't need to know."

So, Joseph, I do apologize if I led you on, but I won't be meeting you for either of our birthdays. In fact, I will likely take an alternate walking route on both of those days. If you ever attempt to touch me again, please be forewarned that I've promised my husband that I'll call the cops on you.

Best of luck to you, and I hope your Mom and her new boyfriend are doing well.

Most Sincerely,
Diana (the girl with the long hair and the knit kitty hat)

Stop The World - I Want To Get Off

There are things that must be done. I made myself dinner, and I have to wash the dinner dishes. I need to assemble tomorrow's lunch. I really should look for the 401(k) rollover form from Sky Bank, since I'll be taxed a jillion dollars or something if they end up cutting me a check directly.

Besides those things, though, I have no intention of being productive tonight. That includes blogging about my Chicago trip.

My brain won't stop thinking about the server error message I got just before I left work today. I don't know how I broke the dev server, and I don't know how to fix it. I'm usually so good at not bringing work home with me; but tonight, it just won't be denied.

I shouldn't feel like I need a vacation already. Should I?

Ouch.

I was running late this morning, as usual. Grabbed my purse and went out to the car through the garage, also as usual. (We only have a one-car garage, and two cars, so the one that's most often used gets parked in the driveway.)

I hit the button for the garage door, and it took its sweet time to open. No big surprise there. I strode through the garage, past the Contour, and ducked under the opening door.

And clocked myself on the garage door.

...

Yes, my head still hurts.

Christmas Eve Checklist

Aaron's and my presents are opened.
Rock Band has been played.
My new 22" widescreen monitor has been set up.
The zucchini-chocolate cake is ready to go.
The sausage cake is baked, glazed and cooling.
The remaining presents are wrapped.
The directions to Uncle Pete's house have been unearthed from the Kia.

All is well. Merry Christmas, all.

Responsible Decisions

Having received severance and retention pay from my former employer, then having landed a job relatively soon after, I recently found myself with several thousand dollars burning a hole in my ING Direct savings account.

So many possibilities flooded my imagination. Another vacation to Japan? Or a trip to Ireland? Or maybe someplace else?

Alas, the grown-up part of me seized hold and reminded me that I have several thousand dollars in credit card debt that should really be paid down.

That's not saying that this Christmas won't be more kick-ass than usual, of course. There will also be a dishwasher in our future. And perhaps the professional installation of some ceiling fans, in view of the astronomical cost of installing central air in a house with no ductwork.

Generally, though, responsible finances reign. Oh, well.

Mrs. Grumpy-Pants

I tried to figure out my database reporting app all day, but was still confuddled by day's end.

I left work extremely hungry, thanks to the apparently under-nourishing lunch I packed this morning. I guess a breakfast banana, brown rice with salsa and cheese, sugar-free pudding and a small yogurt just aren't enough to keep me going. My plans to go to aikido were therefore thwarted, being that I required more sustenance than could be had in the five minutes I'd have at home before leaving for keiko.

One bowl of whole wheat rotini and tuna later — plus a bowl of Chocolatey Special K for "dessert" — I'm feeling sated.

Now I'm cold and tired, but don't want to go to bed too early. That just means that tomorrow's workday would come that much sooner.

Did I mention that Aaron's Xbox 360 red-ringed last week? That's a good month round trip until he gets a fixed Xbox. No vegging out in the recliner with Carcassonne or Backgammon or Catan or Puzzle Fighter. It's harder to veg out with a Wii game, since they all seem to require actual movement and interaction. :-)

Jeebus, I'm tired.

Just say no to the call of the refrigerator...

Shopping Spree

Yesterday, Aaron and I went down to the local GameStop so he could pick up some used video games during their buy-2-get-1-free sale. While we were in the strip mall, we just so happened to notice that there was a clothing store next door for sizes 14 and up. Not sure how I missed that, after living in the area for almost four years, but there it was.

Since I had been saying I needed more business casual attire, and since I'd gone into the game store with Aaron, he convinced me to go into the plus size clothing store and get myself some work clothes.

Aaron actually found the stretchy black button-down shirt, and I think he saw the cable sweater first, too. I know he pointed out the red pullover (which is a darker red IRL). I wasn't sure about the wraparound shirt, but it actually slims me quite a bit.

In addition to the four shirts, I got two microfiber underwire bras and one wireless bra. Thanks to my interest in this sports bra (before I realized it was a $65 sports bra), I'd recently re-measured myself to determine my correct bra size, which is actually an odd and difficult-to-find combination of band and cup sizes. Avenue had it, though, no problem.

I ended up spending nearly $200 on four shirts and three bras. Really, though, in the grand scheme of women's clothes, and especially plus sizes, that's not too bad. And now I have some classier business casual that isn't looking like it's past its prime.

Next time, though, I'll have to get some pants.

Giving Thanks

I am thankful for my new job, which is helping me grow both personally and professionally.
I am thankful for my loving husband, who supports me in everything I do.
I am thankful for my house, in which I feel safe and at home.
I am thankful for our two cars, which help us get to work and other places.
I am thankful for my health, without which life would be a lot more stressful and uncertain.
I am thankful for my glasses, which allow me to see clearly to read and drive and live.
I am thankful for confusion, which prompts me to seek out answers.
I am thankful for the internet, which helps me locate the answers I am seeking.
I am thankful for Huntington Bank, whose acquisition of Sky Bank spurred me to seek a new job.
I am thankful for my friends, who are understanding and supportive.
I am thankful for my bed, which is much more comfortable than an air mattress or a sleeping bag.
I am thankful for my family, who reminds me who I am and where I came from.
I am thankful for Riverview Elementary, whose Gifted program first developed my interest in computers.
I am thankful for Mary (Bindis) Franzosa, who introduced me to my husband nearly 12 years ago.
I am thankful for readers who leave comments, who assure me that I am relevant and interesting.

My Day So Far

8:51am - Alarm goes off, reminding me that I want to go to aikido at 10am. I roll over and go back to sleep.

10:45am - I realize that I need to leave soon to take Sensei's digital recorder back to the dojo while someone is still there and the door is unlocked. Get up, get dressed, pull hair back, and drive to dojo.

11:00am - Sensei isn't at the dojo, and a senior student is teaching the class that is just concluding. I put the recorder on Sensei's desk and beat a hasty retreat.

11:10am - Arrive home. Eat breakfast of Chocolatey Special K. Read e-mails and blog entries.

12:00pm - Attempt to wake the husband. Am shot down in favor of continued sleep. Come back downstairs and begin trying to fix my iTunes library (another story entirely).

12:30pm - The husband awakes and showers. Begin working on Zen podcast.

1:15pm - Lunch: one breaded, stuffed cordon bleu chicken breast, cooked by Aaron.

1:30pm - Resume editing podcast.

2:00pm - Upload podcast. Send e-mail to Sensei with a link and some potential show notes. Begin backing up CDs with drum corps photos and other materials onto my computer in preparation for sending them to the new Executive Director. Alternate computer availability between WinRAR and iTunes.

3:00pm - Backups complete. Take break to watch Aaron play Bioshock. Eat banana.

3:30pm - Receive e-mail that reminds me to check the drum corps forums' permissions. Realize, after some research, that there is no foul play and that I have b0rked the permissions myself. Rig a temporary fix so that members can actually see all the forums.

4:00pm - Forums unb0rked. Begin packing up CDs in a makeshift cardboard sleeve to be mailed to the Executive Director.

4:15pm - CDs packed. Do some more work on iTunes library. Talk with Aaron. Look over my to-do list. Cringe.

5:00pm - Talk with Aaron while he gets ready for work.

5:30pm - Say goodbye to Aaron. Feed the cat. Make dinner. Blog while eating at the computer.

It sure seems like I've been doing a lot of stuff today. So why do I feel like I'm treading water? Aaron says that maybe it's because everything I've done today (just about) has been for someone else, either the corps or the sangha.

Next on the agenda: Go for a walk and listen to the hour-long podcast I just put together (since I missed the actual talk, being out of town). Review some SQL for tomorrow's second interview downtown. Do some more cleaning and organizing, maybe.

Coming up on one month of joblessness. Hmm.

ETA: This article saved my ass the next day. Everything is magically fine again, without having to right-click on every damned file and browse to find its new location. Fantastic!

General Crap

I'm feeling the need to write something, although I don't really have a topic I want to rant about tonight.

Was pretty productive with the job search today. Applied for three jobs, and have a fourth in the works.

Worked on the redesign of my drum corps' website. Am satisfied with the first comp for now. Have some feedback from the Executive Director for some tweaks, which I will apply later this week.

Made some banana-coconut (a.k.a. Banana Cream Pie) candles tonight. At this point, I'm trying to whittle down my supply of old, half-used scents so I can justify buying more new ones. Still undecided about the holiday push for candle sales. It would really necessitate a website overhaul to work the way I want.

Am planning to do NaNoWriMo this year, even if I don't have a job by November. I'll have to split up my time between writing and job-searching (and working on the corps' website), but I think I can do it. I've never won NaNo before (i.e. written 50,000 words in 30 days), and it's about time I did. I have a premise and a few characters' subplots. They'll all come together at the end of my dystopian future society tale. Somehow.

Trying to get my sleep schedule back on track. Getting up before noon is an accomplishment, as is getting to bed before 2am. I'd sleep ten to twelve hours a night if I let myself, and I really don't think that's healthy.

Overall, I'm doing OK. Gained a little weight, am sometimes bored or depressed, but am trying to keep myself upbeat. I can pay bills. I'm relatively healthy. I've had a couple job interviews. I'm OK.

Girlie Time

Today was Heather's last day working for our mutual former employer. Today was also the day that many stores opened in The Shops At Fallen Timbers. Including Lane Bryant. So, after she was done having her exit interview and packing up her desk, we got together and went out for an evening of shopping and general girl-time.

First, we did a round of the mall, going into stores I wouldn't usually even give a second (or first) glance. American Eagle, Pac Sun, the Gap, places like that. We spent an inordinately long time in Bath and Body Works, where I got assaulted by the nice lotion lady — my hand *still* smells like Pomegranate lotion — but where I still purchased two body splash samples, two lotion samples, and a candle with the greatest fresh apple scent (which cost almost as much as all my samples put together).

After B&BW, we hit Lane Bryant, which was our main target of the evening. After standing in the soul-sucking dressing room line twice, I ended up buying one pant suit (brown), one suit jacket (black), one camisole (cream), and a pair of brown trouser socks. Yaye! I have a new interview suit! Two, actually, since the black jacket goes well over a black knee-length dress I bought online recently.

We took our haul out to the car, and went back for more malling. Our next and final stop was Payless, which was having a buy-one-get-one-half-off sale. I bought a pair of patent-leather flats and a pair of brown moccasins with a polka-dot accent bow. Super cute, both. I almost bought my first pair of heels since high school, but they only had it in size 11, and I needed a size smaller. I would have relearned to walk in heels for these shoes, totally.

Our evening had started around 4:30pm. By this time, it was well after 9pm — time for dinner. We drove back toward my house and went to Lone Star for a massive and yummy late dinner.

This really needs to be a monthly occurrence. We both enjoyed ourselves, had fun girlie time, and bought stuff. Maybe next time I needn't spend $200 on clothes and shoes and lotion and dinner... but I sure had a fun time doing it.

Guilty Pleasures

I don't ever look up exactly when it will be broadcast, but sometimes I'll flip past Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders: Making the Team 2... and watch the whole show.

Honestly, it reminds me of drum corps in a way. It's just that what they do is different from what we did, and even different from what the colorguard in the corps did. But it's rhythmically-based physical routines in unison, and something about that really catches my attention, no matter what genre it is. Maybe because I know what kind of concentration and memorization and muscle memory that takes, on top of the sheer physical nature of what you're doing. At least I didn't have to worry about my figure in order to make it into drum corps.

I think the show is also helping me to break through my jealous stereotypes of skinny chicks: the successful cheerleaders have to not only have flawless bodies and pretty faces, but they are actually judged on intelligence, not to mention their ability to dance and to learn choreography quickly and accurately. The dense and ditzy ones don't stand a chance.

I remain fixed in my assertion that many skinny hos are dumb blonde fluff chicks. Still, watching these ladies learn choreography and be both athletic and artistic makes me realize that I can't jump to conclusions.

Plus... even though I'm a girl, I still can appreciate the eye candy. And, really, what girl wouldn't like to fantasize about herself looking like a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader?

Don't lie.

Come On, Baby, Finish What You Started

I've been droning on about aikido a little too much lately, so I suppose I should write about something else already. I'm sitting here at work, with a painfully light workload, so this seems as good a time as any to write a blog entry (via e-mail to myself, of course).

Not that I have anything particularly pressing to blog about, mind you. Most of my "free" time lately has been spent job-hunting, nursing my pulled muscle, or escaping into Civilization IV.

Speaking of the job hunt: I've gone through my list, submitted my resume for those jobs I hadn't yet, followed up on past inquiries, and have started putting the finishing touches on my portfolio. I think I've got the portfolio working in all modern browsers, including Firefox 2, Opera 9, Safari for Windows, IE6 and IE7. Granted, there are a few minor display discrepancies: IE6 has an unfortunate space at the bottom of the page which activates the scroll bar, and Opera (or is it Safari?) doesn't highlight the items in my submenus. Those are minor details, though, and I can deal with the differences for now. Now, I'm going through all my featured projects and including examples and samples and links for each. I plan to have my portfolio complete by the end of next weekend.


In other news of the me, I ordered my very first Little Black Dress™ and a couple pairs of work-friendly Skechers online. I need to get myself down to Lane Bryant and spend a decent amount of money updating my wardrobe, although I feel funny either a.) shopping alone or b.) shopping with Aaron, and I don't really have any local girlfriends to shop with. What I'd really like to buy is a brown tailored pantsuit to go with my new shoes. (Wow... matching an outfit to a pair of shoes? That sounds unusually girly of me.)

Last time I really went ballistic on clothes shopping, I sorely needed a wardrobe update due to having lost, oh, fifty pounds? Now, though, I'm just tired of wearing the same crap to work all the time. Of course, I should probably hold off on buying work clothes until I get a new job and find out what the dress code is there. I'd hate to update my business casual wardrobe, just to find that I can wear Threadless shirts and jeans to work -- or, worse, that I have to go out and purchase an actual professional wardrobe, with multiple suits and accessories.


Also: Aaron and I had an in-depth conversation this weekend about my ability to finish what I start. I am absolutely notorious for starting a project, either coming to a hard part or just getting bored with it, and dropping it for the next Flavor of the Month. Websites, fiction, genealogy research, major cleaning, all have fallen prey to this habit of mine. He was particularly concerned with me finishing my portfolio website before I get involved in something else -- namely, instructing marching band for the first time. He reminded me that I don't do anything by halves -- quite like him, now that I think about it. I immerse myself in whatever new project I undertake: genealogy, candle-making, learning SQL, weight-loss, drum corps, aikido, whatever. I don't just try something or dabble in something. For this reason, I've specifically avoided starting any new projects, even though I've wanted to work on my fiction and genealogy research in the past months.

I might have to gracefully and humbly bow out of the marching band gig, even though I don't want to. I can see things that need fixing in the band, things that I might be able to help with, but I don't know if I should really be dedicating literally an entire evening a week to band, plus a good part of another evening a week to aikido.

I have some time to think it over, though, and to finish my portfolio before the next rehearsal I'm slated to attend. We'll see how things pan out.

Turning Over A New Mental Leaf

I could have had a shitty evening. My portfolio was throwing fits at IE6, and I'm unlikely to get any work done on it tomorrow or Wednesday, as I have evening plans both days. I was feeling a little stressed.

Instead of freaking out? I meditated for 15 minutes. I chatted with friends over IM, which I haven't done in ages. I posted a comment to a friend's blog that was cathartic in its own way. Responded to my bestest Amy-friend's e-mail from a couple weeks ago. And I figured out my coding problem, for the most part.

I'm feeling pretty good right now. Chilled. Relaxed. At peace with myself.

For the most part.

Well, Shit.

I was just sitting here, getting into some portfolio coding, when I heard something. Something like tornado sirens.

That's my cue to turn on the TV and check the local news. From the bit I heard and saw, Lucas County is under a Tornado Warning and will be hit by the storm in question in about 25 minutes.

Weather.com says the storm is "capable of producing a tornado," and that it also is capable of producing destructive straight line winds.

Hmm. Should be an awesome storm. I'm looking forward to it.

As for my portfolio... I'll just be sure to save often.

Update, 7:15pm: As promised, awesome storm. Too short, but awesome. Sat outside on the front step until it started to downpour. Sat in the living room with a candle and Channel 13 News until the danger of tornadoes passed. Now, I'm back to the portfolio... but with a window open.

Another Weird Dream

I've mentioned this before, but I hate having effed-up dreams wherein Aaron and I have weird relationship issues. Even though I know we're perfectly fine in our marriage, it always makes me wonder if my subconscious is seeing something I'm not.

Last night, dream-Aaron and I got married after having done a courthouse wedding a week or so before. (That was an odd dream sequence in many ways, but not particularly disturbing.) Then we went out and partied, but the bar was playing a song that Aaron associated with bad memories from high school, so we left and went elsewhere. Later on, he left me alone to go hang out with some guy friends and have a bachelor party of sorts. I wandered the streets alone, and found him some time afterward standing in a doorway with a friend or two, smoking a freshly-lit cigarette -- which I immediately called him on.

Both before and after the bachelor party, I remember that we had some serious and deep dream-conversations about us. I don't remember what they were about, specifically, but I awoke disturbed and uneasy.

This couldn't all stem from the fact that I didn't do the dishes last night like I told Aaron I would... could it?

Lonely

Aaron went back to work today, after two weeks of vacation. Two weeks of coming home to my honey at 5:15pm and not having him leave for work fifteen minutes later. Two weeks, granted, of being less productive than I should have in the evenings, thanks to spending quality time with my honey.

I should be happy tonight, though. I have a job lead that is (bad news) a good 40-minute commute away, but (good news) would pay literally double my current salary. I should be so effing stoked right now.

Instead? I'm in a weird, lonely, unmotivated mood. I'll probably curl up in front of the Food Network shortly, and call my evening a wash.

Home On The Range

We go camping at Harrison Lake tomorrow afternoon. Neither myself nor Aaron have been really camping since Scouts back in elementary school 1, so this should be fun.

We've got our s'mores action going on, our new king-size air mattress to go in our never-used dome tent we got as a wedding present back in 2003, our lawn chairs and bug spray and swimsuits and sunscreen and everything (hopefully) to help us get our camping fun on.

I hope this doesn't suck. This is more of a trial run, hence why we're only camping for one night. If we enjoy camping, maybe we'll do it more often. Until we're sure, though, 3pm Sunday through noonish Monday should be a sufficient getaway.

Update, Sunday @ noon: It's been raining since 8am. Chance of scattered thunderstorms all afternoon, all evening, and all night. Prospects aren't looking good... but maybe we'll pack up the car and head out, anyway, to see what Harrison Lake is like. We'll see how things pan out....

1 This, of course, is not including the ill-fated October camping trip of the girls of 2nd floor Kohl Hall back in 1999. Amy and I were the only people with competent fire-building skills, and our RA had to purchase firewood from a neighboring RV camper. An unseasonably warm October turned coats that night, and none of us got any sleep that chilly autumn night. What had started as an "I don't want to *know* if you have alcohol in your tent, *wink-wink*" party night ended as a 5am "Let's get back to the dorm and get some sleep" morning.

I Did It All For The Nookie

My husband is on vacation for the next two weeks. We should be having snoo-snoo EVERY NIGHT, given that we usually see one another for a grand total of 15 minutes on the weekdays, and this Evening Togetherness thing is quite a treat.

Instead? Yesterday I made myself too much dinner, and ended up too full to... well, you know. This evening, I've been totally exhausted, on top of having the most fascinatingly uncomfortable gas cramps. (TMI? Yeah, I know.)

So, yeah. I feel like a doofus. Tomorrow is aikido and zen meditation, both of which I should really attend, since I didn't go at all last week. But that means I won't get home until 9pm. Assuming I don't feel like this tomorrow evening, that is; if I do, there's no way in hell I'm going to aikido.

Dammit. I go off The Pill to get my libido back and stop being so goddamn cranky, and now we can't even manage to have Happy Time at all.

*sigh*

I have another week and a half to get my mojo going. Plus a camping trip on Sunday. If that doesn't at least engender some grab-ass... I dunno.

Ambiguity

When blogs first went mainstream several years back, there were a couple of complete strangers whose blogs intrigued me. Not because we had a lot in common — I don't know that we had *anything* in common — but because their designs were eyecatching, and mainly because the authors were so intentionally vague. The ambiguity of their posts made me wonder about them, and read more. Eventually, I found answers to some of my more basic questions: age, orientation, relationship status, things like that. But the topics of each post remained purposefully unknown.

I don't have very many vague strangers whose blogs I read anymore; most of them are either not vague at all (except with given names), or they've gone AWOL. One person whose blog I used to frequent has stopped blogging altogether; I grew bored with another's continual daily two-line ultra-depressed teasers with no informational or emotional payoff. With the advent of friends-locked entries and (relatively) secure social networking sites (and a distinct lack of interesting design in free blogs, which was what drew me to view certain blogs in the first place), there's little chance I'll ever completely recapture the odd sort of voyeurism I once enjoyed.

Every now and then, though, I read an intentionally vague entry by an acquaintance or a complete stranger, and I'm reminded of that delicious confusion in putting the puzzle together. "Isn't he living with his wife? Don't they have a kid? Why is he mentioning seeking out sexual relationships, then? Who is [insert cryptic name here], and how does he know her?" And so forth.

Many people are more guarded about their secrets than I.

Quick Weekend Recap

Friday night: watched webcast of J. K. Rowling reading the first chapter of Deathly Hallows at midnight British Summer Time (which was 7pm Eastern). Waited a few minutes after that, and couldn't take the suspense anymore. Downloaded HP7 from a favorite bittorrent website, and read the first 20 chapters before the book was officially released in the U.S.

Saturday: Aikido Basics Seminar from 9am to noon. Lunch at the Garden Cafe with Aaron, then back to the dojo at 3pm for a brief class and kyu testing. I wasn't testing this time, but it was valuable to watch the testing process, as I should be testing this fall. Hung out at the dojo after class, but didn't partake in the "pot luck." (There was some food, but the pot luck was mainly comprised of different kinds of alcohol. Sake, microbrews, champagne...) Got home just after 6pm and spent the evening at home with Aaron. (Deathly Hallows arrived from Amazon with Saturday's mail, BTW.)

Today: Aaron's off doing grocery shopping right now. Later this afternoon, we'll be meeting a co-worker/friend of Aaron's, and we'll all be driving up to Detroit for a free festival featuring They Might Be Giants. The one chance I had to see TMBG live, at BGSU, the show was cancelled due to lack of interest (supposedly), so I'm especially looking forward to tonight.

For now, though, I'm going to be reading some more Harry Potter until Aaron gets back from the store.

Making Things Plain

1. I am, in fact, currently depressed. This is for a number of reasons, both biological and circumstantial. Yes, I am PMS-ing, but I am also surrounded by people at my work who either a.) have interviews lined up, or b.) have definite jobs lined up. This is a big part of my depression, being that my ego thinks I'm so much more worthy than many of these people. (James: not you, necessarily, although I do admit to a touch of jealousy at your pimp-ass DBA gig.)

   Yes, I know that the solution is to apply for more jobs, and to eventually secure one. This brings me to:

2. I have now officially applied for seven jobs. Of these, I have received one "hire" (just got the check for last month's task of worthiness today) for undervalued part-time website coding; one request for an interview that never got to the scheduling stage for some reason (on their part); and one polite and standard e-mail confirmation. I have no room to bitch until I reach at least one dozen apps out, and until I've followed up with every blessed one of them at least once. I haven't applied for anything I haven't gone all googley-eyed for when I read it, since I don't want to settle on another sucky job. Yet.
3. My computer now has 2GB of RAM. This makes me somewhat happier. You want systems experience, do ya? I installed my new RAM in probably three minutes, and that was including the minute that I stared stupidly at the RAM before I remembered that there's only one way it'll fit in the slot. That was $130 well spent.

Addendum to #1: One person at my work chose: option c.) quitting work entirely to be with her newborn son. She's one of those who is very open with her feelings, and has shared with everyone her incredulity at the amount of love she has for her son. Being that she sits one cube over from me, the sound of her joy is rarely out of my range of hearing. This, of course, makes me sad. (If you don't know why, you missed this post in January.) I think this has a big part to play in my current depression, whether consciously or subconsciously.

All I know is that I'm getting seriously pissed at being so depressed. My depression always manifests in overeating and not giving a shit (about overeating and about Life In General). Therefore, even being pissed about being depressed is only mildly helpful, until the anger and frustration outweighs the depression. In any case, I wouldn't want to be around me right now.

Quick Update

Friday: Day off of work. Slept in. Opened National City bank accounts. Went to Pietasters show in Cleveland. Good openers, rowdy audience, great showing by the band. Awesome show. Bought a $10 shirt. Got a $10 parking ticket for a meter that ran out just 20 minutes before we got out of the show. We paid the damn thing $1.75 for the four hours it gave us, and I'm pretty sure it shorted us some time. At least it was only ten bucks, though, even if the cop had to have been sitting there and waiting for the meter to run out.

Saturday: Afternoon in BG. Madhatter is closing July 14th; it's the end of an era. Cosmo's coffee shop (where Aaron and I had our first date) is closed, too, among other former BG staples. Outskirts of town are booming, though. Had ice cream at the Marble Slab Creamery downtown. Party at James's house in the evening. Food and adult beverages and music and fireworks out in the country. Good times.

Sunday: Took a closet full of stuff to the thrift. Played Wii. Ordered an ice cream maker online. Made fettuccine alfredo for dinner. Normal laundry and shopping bit. Chilled-out sort of day.

Today: James's last day at Sky before going to his new job at BGSU. Spent the afternoon manning the front desk, and so managed to miss most of his desk-cleaning spree. Skipped aikido in favor of job-hunting this evening. Got sidetracked by an alert about some LSM forum spam that desperately needed taking care of. Ended up not being able to submit one specific job app yet because I need full reference info.

And that's the weekend in a nutshell.

When I get a new job, maybe I can do like James and fabricate myself a week vacation between gigs. I shouldn't feel like I need another vacation... but I do.

Fickle Brain

So, for the past few days, I've been trying to get myself onto a decent evening schedule. Turn off the computer around 9:30pm, make tomorrow's lunch, pick out tomorrow's clothes, read for a while, and have lights out by 11pm. It's worked pretty well, and I've been waking up more refreshed (if not always on time, as per usual).

Tonight, I'd like to stay up later, since I'm taking the day off work tomorrow. (We're going to a Pietasters show in Cleveland tomorrow evening, and there's NO WAY I'd be able to stay up for a late show if I went to work.) I spent my evening playing Wii — oh, by the way, Aaron bought a Wii this week! — and just realized that I missed my favorite TV show again. D'oh! At any rate, I thought that I could stay up a little later, do some websurfing (or something more productive), or maybe play some computer games now that I'm done with Wii Sports... but no. My brain is all, "OK, time to start shutting down for the night!"

Dammit. Why must you be catching onto this schedule thing so well?

Dinner Date

Went to dinner with some former co-workers after work today: Loni and Angie, with whom I worked in Lockbox; and Jen, who worked in Lockbox after I'd left, but also worked in Loan Corrections with me until recently. We looked at Jen's wedding pictures and my Japan pictures, and talked about our job prospects after the upcoming merger.

I hadn't really been in the mood to be social until I got there, but I'm glad I went. I'd forgotten how fun it can be to swap stories and just socialize with people other than Aaron's friends. Granted, I do like Aaron's friends, and most of them I can count as my own friends by now. It's a little different to go out with The Girls, though, and talk about old times and future plans.

I don't think I'm "outing" Loni by publishing the fact that she's planning to start a Lockbox business of her own in short order. She's talked to an attorney, potential clients, Sky's HR department, and the company that develops the processing software, and she seems to have her ducks all in a row. It's awesome that she has a plan for the remainder of her pre-retirement years (and she does have a while yet), but it's funny that she's going back into the business that we all so vehemently tried to escape. She knows what kinds of mistakes not to make, though, and how fast she can grow, how many accounts she can take on, things like that. I'll be curious to keep tabs on how her business fares.

Angie noticed that I'd lost weight since I'd seen her last — looking at my handy-dandy historical weight chart, I see that I've lost about fifteen pounds since then. It made me feel pretty good that, despite my uber-slow weight loss of late, she noticed as soon as she saw me that I was looking slimmer than before. I also mentioned that I've been doing strength training and following the Body for Life program... then I ate a shrimp quesadilla while she stuck with the taco salad. Meh.

All in all, I enjoyed my visit with my old co-workers. Yeah... sometimes I forget that there are other people out there who really do give a damn.

Ack.

Feeling quite busy. Have job-hunting-related projects to complete. Have websites to maintain. Have to CLEAN MY DESK OMG. Only getting one major task accomplished per night, and blogging about Japan is falling to the wayside (for now).

I'm proud of myself that I've still been working out every evening, without fail (except on my Saturday off), and have continued to pre-pack my lunches for the next day.

If I ever manage to get caught up with all the things I want to accomplish in my life, that'll only be because I'm dead.

Mom's In Da House

Mom arrived on Thursday evening to start her house-sitting and cat-sitting tenure. She'll be here while we're gone, then probably hang out with us for another week or so before going back to Texas. It'll be nice to have her around for a while, although it *will* change up our normal routine. Sometimes you need that, though.

I am now officially on vacation. I don't have to be back to work for a week and a half. Woo-hoo!

Birthday Weekend 2007

I hadn't been going to blog about this weekend, until my cube-buddy James mentioned how much stuff I'd been telling him that I did this weekend. I hadn't really thought about it, but I suppose Birthday #31 was a pretty jam-packed weekend.

Saturday began with a little evilness: lunch at the Happy Rose Buffet. Afterward, we went next door to Lowe's and purchased a square shovel and potting soil. (I need to remove the dead grass from the edges of our sidewalk, and I need to repot my houseplants.) Then we made our weekly pilgrimage to Goodwill, and of course found nothing of interest.

Earlier in the week, we'd gotten an advertisement from Banner Mattress and Furniture in the mail, touting their latest "No Interest, No Payments Until..." deal. The magic year: 2011. Four years to pay off a minimum of $1000 of furniture. We are in need of some new furniture — and not just "new-to-us" furniture like we've been using all our adult lives. It's time to grow up and actually buy a couch.

So we did.

We meandered around Banner Mattress for probably a half hour, deciding on a large sofa, recliner / massager, and an understated dining room table and chairs. The financing didn't work out quite as we'd hoped, and we ended up with one year instead of four to pay off our $1700 of new furnishings, but that's still quite do-able. The couch and dining room set will be delivered sometime on Saturday, and the recliner will arrive in six to eight weeks (we just *had* to special-order the green color instead of taking the burgundy that was in stock). Due to the financing snafu, we ended up being at Banner for much, MUCH longer than we'd originally intended... but that's OK. I think the new furniture's worth the wait. Plus, we got to get all up-close and personal with our intended couch while we waited. :-)

That evening, Aaron took me to birthday dinner at Red Lobster, where I indulged in some lobster and shrimp, and we shared not only stuffed mushrooms as an appetizer, but also the Chocolate Wave for dessert. We then came home and enjoyed a short stroll around the neighborhood, to take in the fantastic weather and get our dinner moving along.

After our walk, Aaron let me open my birthday present.

He got me a new iPod. 30GB. With a screen twice as big as the one on my Mini.

I wasn't expecting that AT ALL. I promptly synched it up to my iTunes, then ordered a belt clip and a nifty brushed aluminum case online. Even with my entire iTunes library on my iPod, it's not even half full. I was swapping out music left and right on my Mini, to keep the songs I liked and still switch out some fresh music. This is going to be friggin' sweet.

And that was Saturday.

Sunday was a bit more normal, more low-key, but no less enjoyable. Lunch was grilled BBQ burgers at home. After lunch was a trip to Oak Openings for an hour-long walk on the nature trail. On the way home from Oak Openings, I caved in and requested a stop at Dairy Queen, where we both got Blizzards. (Smalls, of course, although they still had 61g of sugar apiece. Hell, it was my birthday. I didn't care.)

Then the day went into the more ordinary: I did laundry, and Aaron left to do shopping. When he came back, he made me peanut butter chicken for at-home birthday dinner, we relaxed for a while, and we had birthday snuggle-time.

Overall, it was an exceptional birthday weekend, and not just because Aaron got me an iPod. ^_^

Productive

Finished the initial roll of film in the Brownie Starmite. Today was appropriately sunshiny, so I took identical photos to yesterday's overcast ones, plus some others to pad out the roll. Wrote a check to Dwayne's Photo for $14, packed up the film, and will be shipping it off tomorrow morning. I expect to have twelve 4" x 4" prints in my hot little hands by May 1st.

Put away the mess of clothes on the floor by the bed. Went into the small bedroom and arranged all of our board games on a small plastic shelving unit in the closet. (Damn, we have a lot of board games. Trivial Pursuit especially.) Moved my empty steamer trunk from the small bedroom to beside my nightstand. Sometime in the near future, I'll be going through the linen closet and moving blankets into the trunk to make room for the new sheets I intend to purchase.

Submitted the new freelance site to Google for spidering and indexing. I'm planning to use a Google search for the site search, so a good spidering by Google would be a definite plus. Still have a lot to do... I'm not going to end up getting everything done this week that I told them I would. I knew I was giving myself a mighty tall order, what with the laundry list of stuff I had yet to do. Not to worry. It'll get done well before the Japan trip. Hopefully by the end of April, if not sooner.

Paid my credit card bills. A simple task, but still one that makes me feel... satisfied? Relieved? Accomplished? Meh. It's done, anyway.

Paying bills is going to get more interesting in July, when Sky changes over to Huntington's payroll system. Bi-weekly instead of semi-monthly. This will take some getting used to, after being paid on the 15th and the last day of the month for the past 4½ years.

Facebook Is Evil.

Over Easter, I got talking about social networking sites with Aaron's cousins. The consensus was that Facebook was better than MySpace. OK, I thought, but no one I know is on Facebook.

How could I have been so wrong?

After having Facebook scour my Gmail contacts for Facebook friends, then me perusing *their* friends for mutual friends, plus searching for random friends of my own, I'm discovering that I probably know just as many people on Facebook as on MySpace. Which still isn't many in the grand scheme of things, but still. I've spent way, WAY too much time exploring Facebook in the past couple of days, instead of doing something more productive. Like finishing my freelance project.

Current count:
- Livejournal, 8 actual people-I-know friends.
- MySpace, 25 actual people-I-know friends.
- Facebook, 7 10 12 actual people-I-know friends (so far... some are pending)

Like I tell everyone who dogs on MySpace: I like to keep in touch with people. If everyone wrote their own blogs on blogspot or LJ or whatever, I'd go read them. Since so many people are all in one place, though, it's easier to join up there and catch up with them all at once. Hooray to Facebook for letting me import my blog's RSS feed, too. Makes my job easier. Don't need the usual "I don't post here b/c I have a blog" post.

And, with that, I'm done for the night. Nothing useful accomplished, except an attempt to book a ryokan room. And finding a few more long-lost friends.

Signs of Spring

As I sat on my couch, reading my cooking magazine, a sound came in through the open window.

The ice cream truck. Playing the ever-popular ice cream truck tune, "Turkey in the Straw."

I didn't think 60-ish degrees was warm enough to entice kids to buy ice cream yet, but I've been wrong before. Even so, it's a pleasant enough harbinger of warm weather to come.

Out of Nowhere

Can someone please tell me where I might find the shut-off valve for my left nostril?

kthx.

Diagnosis: Funk

Damn these moods. I really, REALLY need to come up with the wherewithal to jumpstart myself out of a funk, once I recognize said funk.

Turns out that pulling a double-shift of sorts to complete a contracting project is A Bad Idea™, as the project will then have major issues and need to be fixed by someone else before going off to proof. Submitting B-minus work in Real Life has much different connotations than in college. In college, it's just your grade. In Real Life, it's your reputation.

Adding to my funk is the fact that my weight loss has plateaued before it ever really began. Starting March 1st, James and I have been having a friendly wager as to who can amass the most SparkPoints in the month of March. It's less of a weight-loss contest and more of a contest of wills. Who is more involved in reaching their fitness goals? Right now, it's James, totally. We were neck and neck for the first week of March, then I started lagging behind because of the same reasons I always stall out: I have other things to do, or I'm in a funk and can't make myself exercise, or lack of planning convinced me to make a fast and evil dinner (like tuna mac).

My next dietary step is to increase my fiber and my protein. My next exercise step is to get back to doing it every day, like I'd been so enjoying for a week there. My next webstuff step is to do some minor updates on the LSM site, then complete a working demo of my freelance client's website (the stylesheets, not all the content yet) by Sunday night.

Tonight was a night for myself to chill. And for cooking. Tomorrow's potluck will have at least two reasonably healthy dishes: mine and James's.

*le sigh*

On Blogging

I was looking through my old archives today, seeking out the tattoo of my name in Elvish that I really wanted to get back in 2002:

when it occured to me that I've been doing this blogging thing for quite a while now. Nonstop. Since September 2002, and sporadically before that, before blogging had a name (that I knew of, anyway). Reading Dooce's entry from today about the anniversary of her own website made me think about it again.

Sometimes I wonder if I should be trying to "make it" in the blogosphere. If I should get some Google Ads going on, and write more carefully-crafted entries that read more like essays on Life than normal journal entries. And I realize that this is still what it's always been: my journal, but online, for my long-distance friends to read.

One of the main reasons I started this, besides to get back into daily writing and journaling, was to keep in touch with all my scattered friends in Michigan, Missouri, California, Illinois, Arizona, and various places in Ohio, amongst others. That random strangers and new friends find my blog is just a bonus.

Do I wish this thing were bigger and more popular? Not really. Keeps the pressure off. Keeps me honest. Keeps me writing about normal things I'd write about in a normal journal, like how my weight loss is going or what I had for dinner or OMG Japan vacation in the works.

I'm content just being one singular, generally grammatically-correct thread in the giant tapestry that is the blogosphere. You all read my drivel, and comment on occasion, and that's all I'm really here for.

Good Day.

Proof (first draft) of contracting project? Done in three hours' work. Hopefully my peeps don't find too much wrong with it; it was my first project, after all, and I'm sure I screwed *something* up. Still, though, I got it done by the imposed deadline, and I'm pretty sure I didn't do anything drastically wrong.

Got my annual merit raise today. I'm content with what I got. Other people, not so much. I'm trying to be supportive, while still feeling slightly guilty that I'm happy with my own pay increase.

Despite extreme soreness in the quads, I did my beginning kickboxing workout today. Yesterday I did PUSH DVD #2, Session #2, and really focused on my legs, since my knees are not currently giving me crap. (Maybe that glucosamine / chondroitin supplement I've been taking really does do something.) Tomorrow, I'm planning to do Yoga For Dummies and get my stretching on.

Started round two of thumbnails for my freelance client. Their favorite wasn't exactly mine, but I'm rolling with it. I'm conbining my idea with some of their existing marketing materials, and that's got a few more related ideas working in my brain.

Getting into an evening groove that I'm enjoying. See Aaron off to work, change clothes, feed the cat, check for vitally *important* e-mail (like, from a client), start dinner (if it'll take a while), work out, eat dinner and watch national news & Good Eats, work on something important, then work on stuff that isn't so important (like blogging).

I should go shower and go to bed right about now, but I'm interested in checking out the special on Bob Woodruff tonight (ABC news anchor who recovered from a head injury from an IED in Iraq), so I'm gonna go veg in front of the TV for a little while.

I'm feeling pretty good. I feel weird about feeling good. And that's kind of sad on some level.

Bouncing Back

Weird day. Not very busy, but what an emotional rollercoaster. And for no good reason, really. Read on for my rambling narrative of the day...

read more...

Immensely Satisfying

#1. Walking into the post office, surveying the line of suits waiting to mail stuff on their lunchbreak, then simply dropping my online-postage-bedecked package into the package slot and turning on my heel. Total time at the post office: 45 seconds.

#2. Rain. Not snow, but rain.

In other news, I can't afford to have very many of these totally exhausted evenings. Not with two concurrent web projects going on. Hopefully I can have a productive evening tomorrow, getting some detailed thumbnails cranked out for my client. Once I get set up and trained on the use of their online time logging system, I'm going to need to shift gears to get the other contracting project done. I think I can juggle both — again, as long as I can force myself to time-manage properly and not allow myself to be unusually tired in the evening.

That said, I'm going to bed early tonight. Like, now.

What I Did On My Snow Day

I thought for sure that I'd get *so* much accomplished on my snow day. I had such grand plans.

*sigh*

I made a concerted effort to work on the LSM site, as I appeared to be on a bit of a roll with that. Within the past couple of days, I had locked down the Guest logins so no one can change the passwords on those, or add their own name to the contact info (grrr!). I also made it so that no one can delete an event that already happened, just in case I need to upload photos of that event later, as the photo table relies on the event table to get info about each event. I also adapted the script that displays the available sheet music for download, and changed it around so that my new script (on another page) displays all the board meeting minutes that are uploaded.

I was pretty proud of having done that, so I started working on a couple things this morning. First, I tried changing the upload form to include uploads of meeting minutes, so I wouldn't have to rename and upload all of them myself. I wasn't in the groove, though, and couldn't wrap my mind around all the small changes I was going to have to make. Instead, I thought I'd work on some e-mail forwarding: making a singular e-mail address for the board of directors forward to each member of the board. I tried setting up a mailing list on my personal domain, which was daunting, then went to make sure I could forward an address on the LSM domain to one on my domain. And OMG none of the forwarding I set up would take effect! Not even when I tested it and forwarded the new board e-mail to my personal address. Seriously frustrating. I mean, forwarders don't need to propagate like domains, do they? Why should I have to wait to see if the forwarding works? At any point, I gave up.

Aaron and I had grilled cheese on 100% whole wheat bread for lunch, then he went outside and shoveled the driveway for an hour. In the meantime, I did the dishes, bleached the sink, swept the kitchen floor, and cleared off the dining room table. And listened to Pimsleur's Japanese 1 lesson #2, where I learned to say, "How are you?" and "I'm fine, thanks," along with other things I already knew, like "Good morning," "Good afternoon," "Thank you," and "Goodbye."

After Aaron was done shoveling, we sat together in the living room while he warmed back up, then I posted some stuff to eBay while he talked to a couple friends on the phone and decided whether to go to work tonight.

After Aaron left for work around 5:30pm, the evening turned into something fairly normal. Made dinner, watched the news and Good Eats, and played on teh internets. And here I am.

Not exactly a vacation day, but not exactly a day full of accomplishments, either. Ah, well.

Back To "Normal"

I feel like I'm having the typical winter almost-February depression. I'm not sure if it makes things better or worse that I can point to a source of the depression, for once. It doesn't change anything, knowing there's a reason I feel this way now.

I feel like blogging is kind of pointless, too. I'm either going to be a typical "woe is me, look at how much my life sucks right now" blogger, or I'll be blogging about something absolutely pointless, like games or work or what I fucking ate for lunch (homemade macaroni salad, if you care).

Of course, it's not like I'm going to find anything better to do, like working up my new portfolio site or washing dishes or some shit. I'll just end up sprawled out on the couch, reading the same Star Trek book I've read literally innumerable times since before I was in Junior High, and raiding the refrigerator before next week's renewed weight-loss push talking to Amy on the phone for over two hours.

Depression sucks. Strangely enough, though, it also feels normal. Friday night, alone, with some food and a book and my own personal raincloud to hover over me. I've been here before.

On Working In Finance

Even though it wasn't the post-graduation dream job I'd hoped for, my four-year-plus stint at Sky Bank has helped me learn about the world of finance, which is good. Sometimes I forget how much of what I've learned can be applied to my daily life until someone reminds me.

I wouldn't call it a resolution, exactly, but one of my medium-term goals is to reduce my credit card debt. I have... *does some math* ...over $7500 in credit card debt spread across four cards, with APRs ranging from 13.24% all the way up to 19.80%. This is unacceptable to me at this point in my life, so I decided to start with one and pay it down. I haven't defined my goal yet, i.e. how much and how soon, but I at least have a focus.

Two of my cards have similar balances, but the one with the higher balance has a significantly lower interest rate. I asked Aaron earlier this week which one he would pay down first, and he wasn't much more sure than I was. Today, I asked James at work, and he suggested that I figure out which one was accruing more interest, and pay that one down first.

Holy shit. I *do* know how to calculate that. In my sleep.

So, for each card, I took my balance, multiplied by the rate, divided by 365 days in a year, and multiplied by 31 (actual) days in a month. It might not be the exact same way the credit card companies figure my interest, versus how certain loans work, but it was a ballpark figure that I could use for my own devious purposes.

Turns out that the lower balance, higher APR card accrues just under one dollar more interest per month than the higher balance, lower APR card. So, my initial decision was supported, and I'm on my way to having lower credit card debt. w00t!

Thank you, Sky Bank, for teaching me at least one relatively valuable life skill. That, plus I know how my mortgage works, how checks clear (or don't clear), and how electronic payments are posted. Yay for unexpected jobs?

Firaxis Needs A Proofreader

For Christmas, Amy got me CivCity Rome. I installed it this evening, and have been enjoying learning all about my fun new game. Being a former scholar of Latin, I hold Rome in a special place in my heart. (Mrs. Nemeth TOTALLY would have given me Latin extra credit if I'd brought in this game as proof that the Roman culture still influences today's society.)

However, there is one thing that's really, REALLY bothering me about this game.

The grammar.

Just look at this screengrab:

Tell me, can *you* find all the comma splices and run-on sentences? I can. I propose that the caption should read as follows:

Hail, Quaestor! You do well, and Rome smiles upon you, honoring you with this high rank and title. I would like you to stay on in Capena for a while. The people here are scared and believe their illness brought on by evil spirits. We must show that Roman Gods are stronger. Erect some temples and encourage the locals to marry. This town is important to Rome; let's put some backbone into it.

I tend to be a little comma-happy, setting off all clauses with commas, even those that some grammarians claim can simply attach onto the normal sentence structure. Not everyone is as liberal with their commas as I, although I always have a reason. I also prefer more complex sentence structure than I've rewritten above; being that this is a ten-and-older game, though, and narrated to boot, shorter sentences work better.

Am I a grammar nerd? You betcha. Maybe there's a patch to fix the horrendous sentence structure — I'll have to go see, I suppose.

*sigh* My inner nerd shines through once again...

2006 Wrap-Up, introductory meme

It probably works better on LiveJournal, but I'll do it here anyway: the first line (or few lines) of the first post of each month of 2006.

January: I have so many different ideas queued up for year-end (or New Year's, as it were) lists and essays and whatnot. Unfortunately, I am so unenthused about writing right this moment that none of them are going to happen today.

February: One of my co-workers is pregnant with twins — girls, most likely. I overheard her saying that she and her husband had actually started their children's college fund with last year's tax return, before they even started trying for a baby (and before they got two for the price of one).

March: This entry is about porn. If you are under 18, are squeamish about the general idea of porn (or, more specifically, about the idea of me looking at porn), or if you are my mother, you probably shouldn't read this.

April: I have a laundry list of topics to write about. Anime Punch, last week's diet and fitness update, my new swimsuit (!!), my poor dying hollyhock seedlings. Not to mention working on my poor neglected NaNoWriMo novellette, or Podcast #10.

May: I've never done online research solely on Ancestry.com before. I've never had the run of the place. I've always assumed I'd have access to my U.S. Census Records Collection, a few free databases, and that's it. Now, though, the whole place is my playground, and I don't know where to start.

June: I donated blood for the first time yesterday. It wasn't bad.

July: Well, last weekend was Mom's visit, and the weekend before was the Waterville Community Garage Sale, so this weekend has been the first where we've been able to think about painting the small bedroom.

August: The Vacation Thus Far: Monday: Bought the newest Civ IV expansion at Best Buy. Ran some random errands with Aaron. Maxxed and relaxed at home in the AC and played my new game.

September: I hate it when I get to this slightly tired state, where my brain is getting a little disjointed and my body is starting to shut down, but my creativity is begging me to DO SOMETHING.

October: I'm taking Friday off of work, so that Aaron and I can drive eight hours to Utica, NY for an anime convention.

November: Time was when my Mom and I would go visit my Aunt Sammie, cousin Michael and Memaw every Sunday after church.

December: For anyone who remembers Jeff "Pip" Hawley, from Residential Computing Connection at BGSU...

Blog Neglect?

I feel like I'm neglecting my blog, but there's nothing really that I want or need to share right now. I also can't get excited about blogging the random memories I've dogeared for myself: shaking the hand of Vaclav Nelhybel, growing up with a knobless television set, the kid at church who was broken of his cool habit of wearing bow-ties instead of "normal" neckties, stuff like that.

I've been taking it easy, going to bed a little earlier than normal, taking time to read some books and magazines and watch some educational TV (i.e. the "geek" channels). I managed to come up with two prototypes for a new portfolio site before the Christmas holiday, and haven't been able to come up with anything since.

There are so many things I need to do, as per usual. It's just that, well, I'm taking this time as a mental vacation. Especially since tomorrow is going to be a loooong evening at work. Next week, I'll set some priorities and get some things done, while still keeping my state of mind calm and zen-like.

By the way? My watch battery died two days ago, and I honestly haven't missed wearing my watch yet. Haven't looked at my wrist once, although I have reached over with my other hand to feel where my watch isn't.

My Inner Luddite

For three days, count 'em, THREE days, I didn't turn on my computer. Not Saturday, not Christmas Eve, and not Christmas Day. This evening, I decided I really should at least check my e-mail, but I didn't particularly want to. I would have been content to sit in the living room reading magazines and books and munching on leftover Christmas sweets.

In other news, literally half of my department is on vacation during this, our busiest week of the year. Thanks, Ms. Supervisor, for authorizing all those vacations. Friday is going to suuuuuuck.

Note To Self Re: Two-hour Naps

While it may seem a good idea at the time, taking a two-hour evening nap on the couch can be disorienting later on in the evening, and may hinder your ability to get things done in a timely fashion — mainly, preparing food for tomorrow's potluck, wrapping presents, addressing Christmas cards, packing cross-country Christmas packages, assembling a candle gift basket for tomorrow's gift exchange, and crafting a 2006 commemorative Christmas ornament.

Next time? Don't give in to the urge to just keep sleeping when you wake up and see that one hour has passed.

I Need A Hug.

My husband is at work, and I require snuggly-time.

*pout*

Kitty-snuggly time will not do. No, I will have to remember to wake myself up when Aaron comes to bed at three or four o'clock, so I can get the snuggle-hug I require.

I would have liked to lay on the couch and cuddle all evening long. Ah, well... such is life.

Time for one last round of solitaire, then off to bed.

Exhausted

I haven't been posting much lately, and there's a reason for that. I've been exhausted and generally disinterested as soon as Aaron pulls out of the driveway and down the road to work in the evenings. I really can't get excited about much at all, which is frustrating.

I have plenty of projects I could be working on. The podcast will soon be going on a much more erratic schedule (i.e. I post an episode when I feel like it, instead of weekly). I have clothes that need mended or surgerized. I have websites that need maintained. I have candle orders that need to be filled. I have PUSH DVDs that need to be watched and exercised to. I have blog essay ideas that should be expounded upon, especially holiday-themed ones.

I wish I could just smack myself upside the head and get myself moving. I'm not depressed. I'm just tired.

Busy

Tonight: Record, edit, and upload podcast. Wash dishes before bed.

Tomorrow: Entertain Dan. Bake butternut squash pies.

Thursday: See Dan off to Knoxville. Drive to Cleveland. Have Thanksgiving dinner.

Friday: Spend day at home with Aaron. No work for either of us.

I guess what I'm saying is: don't expect too much blogging out of me in the next several days. I'll be back with you probably after the weekend.

Bored.

I'm having one of those weird, bored evenings.

I managed to write out an outline for podcast episode #21, but am not enthused enough to actually record it tonight. Not feeling creative enough to write on the NaNo. Not into testing out my Christmas Cookie candle scent. Don't want to watch a DVD or read. Don't even want to play Civilization, although that's probably what I'll end up doing. Seems to be my default "I'm bored" activity.

I'm just kind of tired. Not really depressed or anything, just tired. I think I ate too little during the day and too much in the evening, and that might have messed with my blood sugar / energy levels or something. I dunno. Also tired of coughing and clearing my throat ALL FUCKING DAY. It was especially helpful that today was my day to help answer the phones. Good times.

Hey, ladies? Ever had ovulation cramps? This is a new experience for me, and I must say that I don't care for it. It's not bad enough that I have to have cramps once a month — now I get them twice? WTF.

So, yeah. I guess I'm just having a weird, funky evening. Nothing a little Civ IV won't cure.

Low-Key Evening

Aaron's off at a Frank Black show in Cleveland with Kris and Kris this evening. I opted not to go for several reasons, not the least of which being that I have to work tomorrow. Instead, I ended up throwing together a (half-assed) Halloween podcast, which frees up tomorrow night for my annual Halloween genealogy devotional.

The time change seems to be catching up with me tonight, too. It's not even 10pm yet, and already I'm feeling like it's time to wash the dishes and go to bed. Yesterday's leaf-raking extravaganza has well and truly taken hold, as well, so my back and arms are hella sore and stiff, which is also helping to edge me toward bed.

Good thing I didn't end up going to the show — I'd be turning into a pumpkin barely halfway through, and putting a damper on everyone's good time.

New Weight Loss Program: Depression

Certain kinds of depression cause me to overeat. I just basically wear a path in the carpet between my chosen point of food consumption and the kitchen. Then I feel like an ass and get more depressed and eat more. Rinse and repeat.

Other kinds of depression cause me to not give a damn about eating, and to find that everything in life is basically a waste of my time. Had I discovered this interesting brand of depression back in high school, at least my perpetual depression would have had some practical purpose, or at least a more positive side-effect than weight GAIN.

As it is, I'm currently making some chicken salad because I know that today's combined repast of a breakfast bar, an apple, a yogurt, and a string cheese will not get me through the evening. Eventually, if I don't eat, something will snap, and I'll find myself standing in front of a near-empty refrigerator, wondering what the hell happened.

Estrogen Overload

I challenge any card-carrying, estrogen-toting woman to make it through a viewing of Steel Magnolias without crying. Or at least misting up. Especially the end (SPOILER WARNING... if you can spoil an 18-year-old movie):

M'Lynn (after her daughter's funeral): I don't think I can take this! I just wanna *hit* somebody 'til they feel as bad as I do! I just wanna *hit* something! I wanna *hit it hard*!
Clairee (pushing her grumpy buddy Ouiser forward): Here! Hit this! Go on, M'Lynn, slap her!

I don't make a habit of watching Steel Magnolias. But when I surf past Lifetime and find that it's playing, I either find it absolutely repelling or impossible to resist, depending on my mood. My estrogen level must've been elevated tonight after being all crafty; I cooked *and* made candles in the same night. :-)

Cooking, crafts, and crying at a movie. I think I've had my fill of girlie stuff for a while. Makes up for joining in last week's football pool at work, I guess.

I Feel Violated.

Someone is using my schnuth.com e-mail address — which currently forwards to my gmail account — as a return address for spam. I've gotten at least four autoreplies today — no, make that five, as another one just came in — from various recipients, including Yahoo Groups and other mailing lists.

This pisses me off on so many levels. Now I have to wonder if my schnuth.com address will be spamblocked on some random server when I try to send an e-mail sometime in the future. I've also run Spybot and Norton Antivirus on my computer to make sure nothing's hijacked my Outlook Express that I never use. I figure that someone probably just forged their headers in reverse, using their spam recipient list as a perfect source for reply-to addresses.

Bastards.

What pisses me off the most is that the genie's out of the bottle now. I can't go and tell all these people and mailing lists, "Sorry, but some spammer is using my e-mail address to spam you. It's not really me!" Whatever. If some unfortunate result comes of this... *shrug* There's nothing really to be done about it.

At least I don't use that address very much anymore.

Piss-tastic Mood

I didn't wake up in a pissy mood. Granted, seeing the scale jump three pounds in one day — in the wrong direction — made me understandably disappointed, but I wasn't in a pissy mood yet. My pissy mood ended up being the culmination of a bunch of small things that wouldn't have been a big deal by themselves, but all together made me smolder.

I was answering phones today (my duty once or twice a week), and I got a teller who said, "Can I put the client on and have him explain his question to you?" Which, when translated, means, "I don't understand what the client is talking about, and I know you are an internal call center only, and you don't talk to clients, but it's going to be so much harder if I have to relay what the client says to me verbatim because I don't understand." The client in question happened to be a CPA — and I do give him credit for not rubbing that in my face — but when I took his number and told him I'd research his question and call him back later, it made me that much more diligent in getting my interest calculations correct to the penny and to the day. Which took several hours. When I called him back, he had a client in his office, so I left him a voicemail. He didn't get back to me before I left at 5pm.

I also got a few calls about things that people thought weren't done right, and I had to research; or things that really weren't done right, and I had to correct.

The football kids were standing in the street again on my way home. I seriously hate that smug "you can't hit me" look they give me. You've got a helmet on, kid... you wouldn't concuss too bad. Don't fucking tempt me.

I got home and checked my email to find that the LSM forums have started getting spammed, despite the manual registration process and the required e-mail reply to confirm registration. And I found out that the report I had so carefully crafted in such a brief time to the exclusion of other priorities at the moment has either officially or unofficially been tabled for the time being. Which I can understand, being that there are other, more pressing matters for the board to take care of right now, but I guess I assumed that everything on the agenda would be discussed. My bad.

Aaron said I should exercise tonight, that it'll make me feel better, and I know he's right. I'm also tempted to just sit down in front of a game of Civ IV for the evening, though, and take it out on the Spanish or something.

I'm dangerous in this mood. I never get mad, so when I do, I tend to keep it going as long as I can, for no good reason. It's a novel feeling, if not a particularly useful or productive one.

Time to go turn on the news and go eat some food.

I Give Up

I designed some stickers for Aaron's podcast. They were adapted from the t-shirt design, which I also designed (with some editorial help from Garza).

The stickers were to be 4.25" x 2.75" big. The printer's online instructions said to submit files at 300dpi. Since I'd resized the design from a larger t-shirt design, I opted to ignore their suggestion and submit the design at 1200dpi instead. This saved me from having to rework the entire design and optimize it for a smaller print size.

The stickers came in this week. All the fine detail is lost. The fantastic black background blends into the mascot's hair and skirt, because my hairline divider stroke failed to print properly. The katakana surrounding the mascot is illegible. All because I can't follow directions.

I spent two hours tonight reworking the design from scratch, which was harder than I'd expected. I created a layer of halftone dots (a la newspaper photographs) for shading, then went through the painstaking detail work of cleaning up said halftone dots around the edges of the drawing with the eraser tool. Only when I went to throw in the fantastic black background did I realize that I should have been painting in white instead of erasing. The mascot's cute mug became akin to some sort of monster movie villain, being that half of it was suddenly filled in with black.

I wanted to have this done tonight. I wanted to tell Aaron I'm sorry, and that the next batch of stickers are on me, and here's the new design. Instead, I'm going to bed without making my lunch. Again.

Excuse me while I go have a nice cry, then beat myself about the head until I fall asleep.

Catchy Spam Subject Line

"Your dick is your visit card, so make it big and make it hard."

I'll give that one creativity points, if nothing else.

Life Is What Happens...

Original plans for the evening: 1.) Eat dinner. 2.) Go to Toledo Area Genealogical Society meeting. 3.) Edit and post podcast.

Revised chronology for the evening: 1.) Eat dinner. 2.) Go to two-and-a-half hour Toledo Area Genealogical Society meeting. 3.) Talk to Mom on the phone for half an hour.

Don't think the podcast is getting edited and posted tonight. Good thing I put tomorrow's date on it when I recorded it this weekend.

To-Do List

To Do Tonight:

• Write report to LSM Board of Directors
• Record podcast
• Eat dinner
• Start new game of Civ IV

Guess what's getting done first?

Yeah. I'm gonna go kick some Incan butt.

Update, Post-Civ IV: Oh, yeah. I forgot I was going to do some kickboxing cardio to offset the two pieces of pizza and one piece of cheesecake I had for lunch. Oops.

Really don't want to write my report or record my podcast, but I need to do both. Gonna go stall traipse around the house for a minute and collect my thoughts (and grab my iPod so it can charge), then come back down here and start on my Webmaster Report / Suggestions to the New Board of Directors.

Tired and Disjointed

I hate it when I get to this slightly tired state, where my brain is getting a little disjointed and my body is starting to shut down, but my creativity is begging me to DO SOMETHING. If I were to start something now, though, I'd get sidetracked or frustrated that it wasn't turning out right. I have a list so long that I could choose from, though.

This is usually the same mood where I see all the things I didn't do today, either on web pages or around the house, and get frustrated because my brain wants them to just — poof — be done. My body, however, would much rather slouch in my desk chair or stretch out on the couch and read a book or play solitaire or watch cable.

Meanwhile, the part of my brain that never grew up and is never actually awake until 10am says, "Dude. 9:45pm is NOT late enough for you to be this tired."

P.S. - Along with the whole sidetracked and disjointed brain concept, let me just mention this (which I probably shouldn't, but I will anyway): If you're ever going to be out of social situations for a day or an evening, be a little daring. Give your pits a rest, and don't wear deodorant. I got a rash under one armpit, and am going deodorantless while it heals, and it's actually quite liberating. Sure, I still washed, and I put baby powder under my one pit... but by this evening, I started experiencing my own natural odor for the first time in years.

Honestly... without anyone to make fun of me about the odor (a la middle school), it's really not that unpleasant. Still, I'm looking forward to receiving my Kiss My Face natural deodorant on Tuesday.

Turning A Shitty Mood Around

Woke up this morning to discover that my alarm clock was set for 7:30am, not 7:10am as I had thought.

Drove through my 'hood to get to work, and had to make a minor detour to get around the garbage truck that likes to drive down the middle of the street. Instead, I got caught by a school bus. Those things, along with random stupid drivers, made me late to work.

Ate two Little Debbie Double Decker Oatmeal Cream Pies to counteract the pissy mood I'd developed. Knew it was a poor idea, and did it anyway.

Heard two co-workers across the way say that, as a habit, they never read the long explanatory e-mails we send them about the changes THEY REQUESTED to the database. This after they asked how to do something in the database, not realizing that a new feature had been added, per their request. Got so mad that I: 1.) thrust my head into my clenched, clawed hands; 2.) swung my mouse around like a bullroar; 3.) put my hands down below the cube wall, out of sight, and gave the co-workers the double-bird, along with a hearty silent FUCK YOU several times over. And don't forget the varied thrusting hand motions, both vertical and lateral.

Didn't eat lunch. Took a 45-minute walk instead. Ate a South Beach Cereal Bar (originally intended for breakfast) as a late lunch / early afternoon snack.

To calm down after work? Civilization IV: Warlords. Couldn't even get *that* right — the first game I started got me almost annihilated in the first few turns, so I restarted; the second game crashed and had to force quit; and the third game also got me close to annihilated, but I stuck it out and managed to survive with my three little cities until the end.

I think I feel better now, though.

Scrap Paper and Random Thoughts

Last weekend, Aaron helped me unhook the Power Mac 6500 and remove it from beneath my desk. It had been co-habitating with my Dell for some time now, but it hadn't been powered on for months. My new(-to-me) iMac is *much* cuter, and just a little faster.

In the process of disconnecting and reconnecting and disentangling and shuffling, I had to remove a very large stack of crap from my desk. This stack o' crap included three spoons, two water glasses, five sheets of cute anime stickers, a slew of pens, and a stack of used scrap paper.

See, before the advent of the Google to-do list, I would either e-mail myself a list of random thoughts I'd had at work, or I would write those thoughts down on a quarter-sheet of scrap paper. I would remind myself to check out certain scented oils for candlemaking, or to blog about a particular topic, or just to freakin' wash the dishes already. So, now I have a stack of random blog topics, some as much as a year old, just waiting for me to exploit them. Plus some stale to-do items that still apply.

For shits and giggles, here are two topics I found on one sheet of scrap paper, amongst some other to-do items and doodles:

I just remembered that I used to be one of those annoying people that would say, "Smile! God loves you!" Was that really me? Good grief.

What is it that turns normal people into blogosphere celebrities? Wit, humor, honesty, design, content?

I can't say that I'm interested in expounding on either of these topics at the moment, but I thought they were worth noting. Feel free to discuss.

*one more piece of scrap paper hits the trash*

New 'Do

Ladies and gentlemen: my new hairdo.

Once again, I donated my hair to Locks of Love; however, this time, I went to Aaron's usual stylist, Great Clips. I didn't have great expectations for Great Clips, but they did give me a free cut for donating my hair, and they're only a few minutes from our house. They didn't do fancy poofy hair-drying like Hair E. Canary in BG did, and didn't make my hair look all fresh-from-the-stylist or anything, but they cut it for free, and will be mailing it in themselves, thus saving me postage.

It ended up a little longer than last time, too, since Great Clips took exactly ten inches off my hair. Last time, I had the stylist at Hair E. Canary just cut it *short*, which ended up being 14" of hair. Whee! Anyway, I'm glad this is just short enough to swing above my shoulders, but long enough to pull back if I need to (albeit with a few wispies at the nape of my neck).

So... whaddaya think?

The Vacation Thus Far

Monday: Bought the newest Civ IV expansion at Best Buy. Ran some random errands with Aaron. Maxxed and relaxed at home in the AC and played my new game.

Tuesday: Lunch with Aaron and Mark at Ruby Tuesday. Spent the rest of the day at home in the AC. Paid a bunch of bills. Got all funky-depressed from not exercising (or was it PMS?). Thenl we watched the Henry Rollins Show DVDs from his show on the Independent Film Channel, and I ate some oatmeal (with real maple syrup), and that made it all better.

Today: Went to the bank with Aaron and withdrew spending money for Otakon. Got a bunch of low-carb goodness and a cheap set of iPod speakers at Big Lots. Packed for the trip — and, again, maxxed and relaxed in the AC.

Tomorrow morning, we head out for Baltimore. It's about an eight-hour trip from here, so we're starting out around 8am. We'll get to our hotel around rush hour, park and check in, walk to the Convention Center to get our badges, then meet the Ninja Consultants for dinner.

After that, it's a wild ride of otaku conventioning and anime craziness until Sunday, a day of rest on Monday, then back to the grind on Tuesday. But that's not for a while yet. I've still got half my vacation to go!

iTunes meme

via  erinfinnegan:

1. Turn on your favorite media player and turn your shuffle feature on.
2. Hit "play" and keep track of the next 10 or more songs that come up. (If you have iTunes, you can make a smart playlist that will automatically list your most recently played selections.)
3. Post your 10 or more shuffled songs, along with these instructions. You are not allowed to lie, omit tracks or otherwise try to make your musical taste seem hipper than it actually is.

1. Blue Man Group: Synaesthetic
2. WOXY.com Modern Rock Minute: The Strokes Cover Marvin Gaye
3. Sufjan Stevens: Chicago
4. Gackt: ares
5. The Cars: Drive
6. Fumitaka Anzai: Sad Sequence / Part 1 - 2
7. Midnight Oil: River Runs Red
8. Talking Heads: Wild Wild Life
9. James: Avalanche
10. The Mighty Mighty Bosstones: Our Only Weapon

Junk

I made it through a couple more boxes and my trunk tonight. I now have a box of keepsakes (i.e. things I don't want to get rid of, but am not going to need to use or display for a while) and a couple small piles of stuff on the living room floor. Stacks of paper and art supplies, mainly.

This begs the question: where does this junk live?

After I get the small bedroom clear of my junk, I'm going to need to clean and reorganize my desk area. That's where most of this shit seems to be migrating.

This is just ridiculous.

Next task: clean out the closet in the small bedroom and reorganize our games. Maybe thrift or eBay some of the ones we're never going to play. That's going to be massive, too.

Mom-athon Wrapup

Saturday: Aaron, Mom and I went to the Crosby Festival at the Toledo Botanical Gardens. Had Italian sausages for lunch. Walked around for a few hours, took pictures with Mom's new camera, ate frozen cheesecake on a stick, and headed home. Wore a halter top, and got a little sunburnt on my shoulders. (Finally, the long-awaited early summer sunburn!)

Later, Aaron went to Kris Heath's bachelor party dinner, so Mom and I went to Kroger and got the makings for lasagna. Turned out awesome. Even left some for Aaron. We all played Killer Bunnies when Aaron got home, and I think Mom enjoyed it, even though she had a hard time reading the cards.

Sunday: We all ate lunch at the Reynolds Garden Café, then I went on a walk at Wildwood with Mom. After our walk, all three of us went to Borders at Franklin Park, walked around the mall, and ate some Dippin' Dots. When we got home, Mom and I played some Tetris Attack, then we all went to Red Lobster for dinner. Mmm, Ultimate Feast.

Monday: Ate lunch at the Dragon Buffet, relaxed at home, took Mom to the bus station around 4:00. (Aaron took off of work so he could drive, and so we could have some one-on-one time later...) Mom's bus was a half-hour late when we finally left at 5:30. Turns out that her bus ended up being over an hour late, and the bus we'd thought was hers was actually another bus. At any rate, on the way home, I figured out where I missed my turn on Thursday night. I don't feel so bad for missing the turn onto Hill — it was hard to be sure it was the right turn even when it was light out, much less in the dark.

Of course, after a weekend of having my Mom in the house, Aaron and I made out like monkeys when we got home. And that's all I've got to say about that.

Overall, it was an enjoyable visit. Longer than usual, but that was cool. It'll be a slightly different dynamic if Mom ever stays with us for longer than one weekend, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it, I suppose. This weekend was all about getting Mom to relax and have a good time and not worry about all that stressful shit at home. I think it was a success.

Mom-athon Update

Thursday night: Got to the bus station OK. Bus was only 10 minutes late after a 24-hour-plus bus trip. Proceeded to miss my turn off of Detroit while coming home and drove around the seedy part of Toledo for AN ENTIRE HOUR. Finally got home by taking I-75 North to I-475 West and South. After Mom and I got to the house, she called Gary, who proceeded to call back at least twice after midnight.

Friday: Woke up at 10:30am to find Mom already awake. Hung out and talked until Aaron got up around noon. Went to lunch at the Happy Rose buffet. Mom and I then went shopping. Best Buy didn't have the selection of digital cameras she wanted, so we went to Circuit City, where she ended up purchasing the display model of the Kodak P830. Got Mom some socks and reading glasses at the Dollar Tree. Got me a skirt at Dots. Got Mom some shorts and got me a new convertible bra and some body wash at Target.

Came home, saw Aaron off to work. Did my PUSH workout while Mom watched. Started making dinner. Gary called. I made spaghetti while Mom talked to Gary. Ate dinner while watching Victor/Victoria. Played with Mom's camera. Talked. Then Aaron came home early! Yaye! Mom went to bed just before midnight, and now here I am, blogging it all. :-)

Saturday? Crosby Festival in the early afternoon, then Aaron goes to bachelor dinner with Kris Heath and company, while Mom and I possibly make something special for dinner here.

It's nice having Mom around. I hope her circumstances back home aren't such that she'll need to move in with us, though... for many reasons, but certainly not because I wouldn't want her around.

Mom-athon 2006

In about three hours, my Mom should be rolling into Toledo via Greyhound. I've taken a four-day weekend from work, and Mom and I are going to spend those four days catching up and chilling out.

I could do with some chilling out right now, actually. I'm super-stressed about driving into downtown Toledo after dark and hanging out at the bus station. I've been high-strung about it all day, even though it's only 15 minutes away from my house. I've never driven there myself; I've only been picked up or dropped off, and that was years ago. I mean, I've got my maps printed out and highlighted and directions all ready to go and everything... but those one-way streets make it seem like such a maze, especially in the dark. I'm sure I'm over-reacting, though.

After I successfully get Mom home from the Greyhound station, we'll have four days to do whatever. She only has a few requirements: Crosby Festival, Chinese buffet, and maybe the zoo. Oh, yeah, and a walk around Wildwood Metropark. I definitely want her to play Killer Bunnies and Carcassonne with Aaron and me, among other games. (Mom likes games.)

Apart from that, though, I'm not sure what we're going to do for four days. We don't really live in a "walkable" part of town; all we can really walk to from here is the rest of our neighborhood. Not like BG, where we could walk around campus, or to a coffee shop. Not that Mom likes coffee. At all.

Anyway, I'm sure we'll think of something. For now, I have a few hours to get unfreaked about driving 15 minutes to the bus station, and to do a little cleaning. I already vacuumed the couch yesterday, so that Mei wouldn't bother Mom's allergies quite as bad. Now all that's left for tonight is dishes, kitchen table, bathroom floor. The basics.

If I don't post again this weekend, just know I'm out having a killer time with my Mom. :-)

Friday Five: Exclamations

I don't usually do memes, but I liked this one, brought to you by  talcotts:

Favorite phrase when you have...

1. Eaten food that tastes bad
"Ugh!" Depending on the setting and company, that may be followed by a profane opinion of what I just ate, e.g. "That was fuckin' nasty."

2. Stubbed your toe
Sharp inhale as I wait for the pain to hit, then a slow, seething "Gmmarrrgh..." (It can't decide if it's a goddamn or a motherfucker.)

3. Become frustrated
"Son of a motherfucking bitch!" Or, if I'm playing Tony Hawk, "DO SOMETHING!!" Or, if I'm at work, I just become silent and turn on my iPod.

4. Broken something
Usually "crap," but sometimes a "shit" or a "goddammit" pops out. Depends on how important of a something I broke.

5. Been cut off by another driver
"Fucking asshole," followed up by as close of tailgating as I feel comfortable... which is usually laughable, I'm sure.

General Consensus

My Mom called a few days ago, and I told her I was thinking of donating my hair again and having it cut short. Predictably, she squealed, "Nooo!!" I really think it's about that time again, though.

I've shared the few existing photos of the blunt bob from Summer of 2003 earlier. As I recall, that wasn't even one of my better hair days, but those are the only photos I have of my supar-shortest-evar haircut. This time, I want to go with something a little different. Maybe some layers, maybe long bangs or fringy face-framing hair. Only thing is, I tend not to want to (or have time to) fuss with my hair. I'd want a 'do that I could wash n' go, preferably allowing it to dry in the car during my 10-minute commute. o_O

Let me share with you some photos I've collected from around teh intarweb of hairstyles that are close to what I might want:

read more...

What's My Motivation?

Man... I can NOT get motivated. I had thought that today was going to be a gardening day, just because I got some freshly-uprooted Roses of Sharon at work today, but then it decided to rain. I should be doing my PUSH workout, and finishing up my podcast, and working on the LSM site.

However. I am not interested in any of that. I'm not even interested in playing Civ IV, although that's probably what I'll end up doing.

I am interested in totally vegging out, but not taking a late nap or going to bed early or watching a movie or reading a book. I'm definitely not interested in exercising, like I should be doing, and I'm not interested in fixing stuff on the LSM page, although I'll end up doing that this evening, anyway. Got some smaller stuff to take care of, and need to get started on some bigger stuff, like uploading photos and implementing forums. I'm so dropping the ball there.

Anyway, yeah. Lately, I've been in a little bit of a funk in the evenings. Just not interested in being productive, after thinking all day. It's a problem I don't mind having, I guess, considering that it means I'm using my brain during the day... :-)

Functionally Fit

When deciding how "in shape" you need to be, be it only slightly overweight or totally buff, there's a term called "functionally fit." That means that you're in shape enough to do the things you need to do, and do the recreational activities you want to do. Say, for instance, you decided you wanted to go hiking and camping. Could you do it? How about skiing or snowboarding (besides not knowing how)? Or would it leave you in total pain the next day, or would you even be able to enjoy yourself while you were doing it?

Yesterday, Aaron and Mark and I helped Kris and Jamie move Kris's stuff from his parents' basement (where it had been in storage) to their new house in Maumee. Moving it out was mainly a matter of logistics, since he'd moved most everything up into the garage prior to yesterday's move. We just had to pack the truck so that everything would fit. (Everything did, for the most part; he just needs to go back for his guitars.)

Moving it in, though, involved a steep 1960's stairwell with no carpet and no banister, in addition to the front stairs up to the house. And I discovered something about myself that I'd been ignoring before: I go to great lengths to avoid cardio. Like going up and down stairs. Moving heavy stuff, sure, I'm all about it. I'll unload the truck and move the heavy crap to the edge where someone can grab it and take it up to the upstairs bedroom. But actually carrying the stuff up there? Rather not. Because it makes me all out of breath, and my legs get all heavy and tired.

Lazy ass.

This morning when I awoke, my biceps were sore, my delts were sore, my lower back was sore (I lifted one Rubbermaid tote incorrectly, thinking it was a light one when it wasn't), my ass was sore... I'm sure I'm forgetting something. So what did I do about it?

I grabbed the pruning shears and went outside to give the hedges a haircut.

Now my arms are sore *and* weak, but I'm OK with that. I'd rather keep moving. Today, Aaron and I are going to take a nice, long walk at Wildwood Metropark and test out Fries's late grandfather's camera before I offer to buy it.

So... functionally fit? Close, but not quite. At least I learned something about myself, though.

Boobs.

My boobs used to be size D. That was when I was technically obese, though. Now that I'm on the cusp of being merely "overweight," my boobs have reduced to somewhere between C and D.

I tell you this because today I rediscovered the joy of the shelf bra.

Now, last year, I bought a few tank tops through mail-order that had shelf bras in them. And I decided that said shelf bras were overrated, because they did absolutely nothing to hold anything in. For some reason, though, today I decided to put on my blue racerback tank with shelf bra, and to go with only the shelf bra for support. (I was just hanging around at home after work.)

And, lo and behold, the damn thing works.

Mind you, I can't go jogging or anything in this, and my boobs still tend to migrate together into the uniboob, like with a sports bra. But, still... once I lose the remaining pudge around the middle, I could so wear this in public.

Just thought I'd share.

My Birthday

So, many of you may be wondering, what was my birthday surprise? And what did I do before said 4:00 birthday surprise?

The day started like most Saturdays: with a trip to the Happy Rose Buffet. Aaron and I then went hunting for garage sales, being that it was sunny and gorgeous outside and sales should have been in full swing — but, alas, the few we found were barely worth getting out of the car for.

I did open my present(s) from Aaron, too. He got me the Dune special edition DVD and Logan's Run on DVD, and also got me a Lane Bryant gift card. Squee!

Around 4:00, there was a knock on the door — and it was Sheryl! @whee! She brought me a birthday card (complete with her own Grim Reaper artwork), Hello Kitty stickers, a gift card to Home Depot (yay, plants!), and the You Grow Girl book I had listed on my Amazon wishlist. We hung out for a couple hours, just talking and shooting the shit, before she had to go get some food and head back to Columbus. That was an awesome surprise. Thank you, Sheryls! (Oh, and your Mom's seventies golf clubs? Quite the swanky set.)

After Sheryl left, Aaron and I headed out to Wildwood to walk around and enjoy the weather. As we walked down the bike path (we weren't wearing our walking shoes, and had to stick to the paved areas), we saw about six deer crossing the railroad tracks. That was cool.

Then came dinner. As usual, we waffled on where to go. We're so indecisive about restaurants. We ended up deciding on Outback Steakhouse, and having the Bloomin' Onion and the Outback-Style Prime Rib. Mmm. Then we came home and ate some Twinkie-misu for dessert.

Overall, I had a very low-key but pleasant 30th birthday.

I wish I had written in my diary/journal back when I turned 12, though, because I really felt a connection to how I felt back then — kind of like Life was moving faster than I was prepared to go. I distinctly remember making a comment about not wanting to grow up, and I remember my Aunt Sammie finding that preposterous. I was scared, though; in a few months, I'd be going to Junior High, graduating to a new Sunday School class, maybe having my "womanhood" rear its ugly head, and all I wanted to do was watch Dance Party USA and read Star Trek books and hang out with my Mom and her boyfriend.

The irrational fears that are in the back of my mind are a little different now. I'm close to half-done with my life — how fucked up is that?! I haven't done half the things I wanted to by now, really. And being an agnostic/atheist isn't all it's cracked up to be, I'll tell you what. It would make my occasional fear of mortality a little easier to swallow if I thought I'd be seeing my stepdad Tom and my Memaw and my Granny and meeting Aaron's Mom and all that shit when I die. As it is, death scares the living fuck out of me. Nonexistence is a tough pill to swallow.

Yes, I know, I'm only 30. But when I'm PMSing and being all funky before bed, weird shit goes through my head sometimes. And poor Aaron didn't know what to make of the fact that I was all weepy on my birthday, when he was trying to be all Happy Birthday for me. And then he got all sweet and said that we were going to grow old together and use the next generation of Viagra so he can "knock my cobwebs out," which was sweet in its own Aaron-ish way, and made me weepy all over again. (Poor boy just can't win.)

I'm feeling much better now, though. It really was just PMS, I think. That, and remembering some crazy dream I had a few months ago where I thought that Aaron and I were going to die. That freaked my shit out. But maybe I'll share that one later.

Twinkie-misu, Year #2

Work was surprisingly pleasant today, really. No one felt like being terribly productive, so we were all chatty and friendly and social instead of being isolated and, well, productive. And the boss was on vacation this week, so he wasn't around to scatter us back to work, like he tends to do. That always makes for an enjoyable Friday.

Also, I guess I inadvertently advertised my birthday at this week's department meeting. Usually, our department holds a monthly potluck in celebration of all the birthdays in that month. I haven't been participating lately, though, due to my diet, and I had assumed that the person who usually organizes the potlucks had taken notice of that, and was intentionally skipping April for my benefit. At the department meeting, though, she said that she's organizing a building-wide potluck for Relay For Life instead. I piped up and mentioned that I'd thought maybe it was because I was the only April birthday. :-)

So, today, a few people came into my cube bearing chips and salsa and cheese dip and 2-liters of pop — oh, yeah, and an African violet. (Very pretty pale silky flowers, BTW, in contrast to my dark velvety-flowered one at home.) On top of that, Scott made Twinkie tiramisu for my birthday, for a second year in a row. Mmm, so good!

Of course, since my cube was where the food was, everybody in the department (almost) made it into my corner of the world for some chatter. I learned some interesting facts about my co-workers and their backgrounds, and got more comfortable with some of them that I don't usually talk with. That made for an unusually talkative day for me, and a very relaxing day-before-my-birthday at work.

I ended up bringing a good deal of Twinkie-misu home with me, with Scott's blessing, and even brought home the rest of the chips and dips for good measure. Twinkie-misu gets me so high... Twinkies (soaked in espresso) and coffee ice cream and whipped cream and fudge sauce... yummy, but wow.   o.O

We'll see what happens tomorrow. I'm still trying to downplay it... but I know that at least one other person is involved, from what Aaron let slip. So, something's happening, at some point. I'll be pleased with whatever it is, I'm sure.

Something is Afoot

Aaron's just as good at keeping birthday secrets as I am. Don't worry, whoever you are (and I have an idea, maybe, but I'm not saying): we'll be here at 4pm on Saturday.

I don't want to know what's up. I don't want to spoil the surprise. Just knowing that somebody didn't forget my birthday is pretty cool.

As for birthday present tallies so far: Amy got me a Lomo Oktomat and a DVD of Drawn Together (which I've heard is damn funny, but I haven't watched yet) for Christmas and birthday. I'm pretty sure Aaron got me some DVDs, although I'm not sure which ones. I'm guessing that at least one of them is intended to fill out the Diana's Favorite Movies Collection. Previous movies in this set include Victor/Victoria, The Goonies, The Princess Bride, Young Sherlock Holmes, The Dark Crystal, The Last Unicorn, Labyrinth, and probably a few others that I'm not thinking of right now. (We already had the Director's Cut editions of all the Star Trek movies, so those were covered.)

If you'd like to get me something for my birthday, and I know this is a little late, but you can feel free to peruse my Amazon wishlist. I actually set the thing up so I can remember stuff I'd like to buy when I have money burning a hole in my pocket... but I'm not above pimping my wishlist on my birthday.

Definitely Still Sick

Were I not sick, I would scoff at the idea of heading up to bed before 10pm. Tonight, though, I'm seriously considering it. Head upstairs, lay down, read, play some solitaire on my Palm IIIc, and be asleep *well before* 11pm.

I suppose I need the rest. Hopefully I'll be able to convince myself to get up when I wake up in the morning — which will most certainly be long before my alarm wakes me up. I'll do my showering and assembly of lunch and snackies then.

Man, this cold is kicking my ass.

No Gnus is Good Gnus

Still sick. Headachy today. Every time I blow my nose (which isn't as often as it was), my ears stop up, and it takes an hour for my hearing to approach normal again.

Tired. Undecided as to whether I should work out. I didn't work out all last week, and I think I miss it. Still, though, I'm inclined to think that my body needs to use its energy to get well right now.

Appetite returning. I tried bringing a last-week-portion of lunch and snackies to work today, and that didn't work out so well. Now that I'm home, around the food, I'm eating and eating and eating with no sign of stopping. Tomorrow, I bring a normal amount of food to work with me.

Haven't done my measurements yet, but I did take pictures. If anyone wants to see a picture of me in a black one-piece swimsuit (I believe Sheryl would probably be the only taker on that), just shoot me an e-mail. Incidentally, I compared my earliest Before picture to yesterday's In Progress picture, and I can definitely see a marked decrease in my abdominal fat. Good news.

No word on a monthly birthday potluck at work. I think I've been called out for failing to participate in recent potlucks. I'm the only April birthday in my department, so the woman who organizes them probably thinks I don't want one.

I'm also concerned about what will or will not befall me at work on Friday, as my 30th birthday is on Saturday. I could either be totally forgotten (except by a few), or I could arrive to find black Over The Hill streamers and balloons festooning my cubicle. I'm going on the assumption that I'll get a personal card or two, and no one else at work will care.

As far as birthdayness goes, I'm also trying to downplay the possibility of anything OMG-supar-kewl happening on my birthday proper. I mean, I threw Aaron a surprise birthday party, but I know for a fact that isn't going to happen for me. He told me as much. See, all my friends (that would be most of you reading this) live so far out of town that you probably wouldn't come to Toledo for an evening of drunken debauchery. So, once again, I'm trying to increase my appreciation of whatever does happen by assuming that very little will, in fact, happen.

Amy visited this past weekend, and we all traded birthday and Christmas presents. (Aaron = November, Amy = January, me = this Saturday.) That was definitely fun. Amy and I spent a few hours on Saturday evening/night in BG, drinking coffee and talking and walking around campus. For once, I felt kind of bad because my job/career situation appears to be more pleasant than hers. Usually we can commiserate about how we don't know what direction to take, and are we going down the wrong path, and shouldn't we be someplace better by now. I'm pretty content with working on my geeky database at work for now, though, while Amy's feeling the pinch of being juggled by departments and not getting enough hours.

I could go on, probably, but I'm feeling like I want to go forage for some sort of tasty snackie. Already had chicken salad. Already had cereal. Already had ham. Feel like a hog... but am hungry nonetheless. Also have a headache that won't go away, that's making me nauseated. Or maybe that's my drainage that's doing that. Either way, it's not good.

Food. Big Mouth hungry.

Birthday Meme

I hadn't planned on posting this to my blog, but since I've already posted my results in the comments of three different LiveJournals, maybe I should just go for it. For reference, I originally saw this on  sheryls' LJ, but it's run rampant since, so I guess I've snicked this from pretty much the entire internets.

Go to Wikipedia and look up your birth day (excluding the year). List three neat facts, two births and one death in your journal, including the year. [My 30th birthday is coming up on April 22nd, in a couple of weeks.]

Events:
1509 - Henry VIII ascends the throne of England after the death of his father.
1970 - First Earth Day celebrated.
1993 - The web browser Mosaic version 1.0 is released.

Birthdays:
1937 - Jack Nicholson, American actor
1950 - Peter Frampton, British musician

Death:
1996 - Erma Bombeck, American humorist and writer (b. 1927)

Moving and Shaking

Good things are happening.

I'm feeling more fit. I'm doing something a little different at work, and the future is looking positive on that front. I'm paring down my hobbies and interests.

Paring down my hobbies, you ask? Yes, this is a good thing. This makes me happy.

As much as I hate to admit it, I've pretty much written off musicianship for now. I enjoy picking up the guitar every now and then, or singing along with the CD in the car, but I'm not likely to record a cover album to share with the internets.

I'm also in preparations to turn over the Saginaires / Northern Aurora alumni site — yes, the very first site I ever created — to someone who will take good care of it. I will shortly be posting a "job opening" to the alumni Yahoo Group, and the donor of the webhosting will be joining me in interviewing the candidates to choose who gets to take over the webmaster position. Ten years is long enough for me, and it's not fair of me to hoard the site to myself when I haven't touched it in probably a year.

I need to pare down some other things, too. I'm undecided as to the future of my podcast, although the more I think about it, I don't want to give it up quite yet. My photography isn't necessarily something I'll be doing every day, but it's damn nice to have good equipment and above-average skills for when I get the inkling to take some artsy pictures. And web design... well, I can't see me going out for any freelance gigs anytime soon (especially with me actually using the techie part of my brain at work, finally), but I'll probably do some minor tweaks on my blog, and maybe overhaul my portfolio one of these days. But I won't feel bad if I don't get to it right away.

As for things I do want to focus on... I want to get back into writing, as my long-neglected NaNo is calling to me. Gardening season is nearly upon us, so I definitely want to have time for that. And I've been being better to my body, exercising regularly, and that's become something I want to continue. I definitely need to focus more on my LSM duties, as well. Oh, yeah, and do some chores around the house, too.

I'm afraid that, if I don't take control of my hobbies and such now, I'll feel guilty for neglecting everything under the sun. I'm still going to have more hobbies than the average joe, but I'm OK with that.

Priorities are good. Spreading myself too thin is not.

But The Flesh Is Weak

I have a laundry list of topics to write about. Anime Punch, last week's diet and fitness update, my new swimsuit (!!), my poor dying hollyhock seedlings. Not to mention working on my poor neglected NaNoWriMo novellette, or Podcast #10.

But, damn, I am so fucking tired today.

It was a Herculean effort to make myself do my PUSH workout today, but I did it. And I'm getting better at it, too. Still, though, all I want to do is curl up on the couch and veg.

I'm gonna chalk this up to The Monday After The Time Change, and not worry about being slackeriffic today. Maybe I'll manage to crank out a decent blog entry later tonight. If not, though, I figure I'll at least get some decent Civ IV action going on.

Story of My Life

There are so many things I should be doing today. I'm overdue to produce episode #10 of The Low Carb Lifestyle Podcast, and I need to work on my cosplay helmet if I'm going to wear it at the con on Saturday, and there's always work to do for the LSM website, and on and on.

Instead, I'm feeling mighty tired this evening, which is translating into bored and depressed. This is also causing me to consciously fight to stay out of the kitchen. I really, *really* want to make myself another bowl of macaroni, or at least munch on my yummy new organic breakfast cereal. But I won't. I really won't.

I'm going to chalk today up to a.) working on real brainpower-type stuff at work for the past few weeks, and b.) having my happy womanly time. I'm just going to let today go. Tomorrow has the potential to be just as productive as today should have been, even though Aaron will be home on vacation.

I hate these kinds of days, though. Meh.

Maybe This Is Mean...

I noticed that I've been having a lot of hits to one of my older entries lately, and that these hits have all been coming from a particular messageboard. As I am unable to sign up on this messageboard, for some reason or another, I can't see whether or not they're simply linking to the image there or actually displaying it, using my bandwidth. Either way, I suppose it's cool that I'm getting traffic... except that my stats also show that they read my page of internet funnies, and promptly leave again.

Thing is, I can't afford to host several instances of this 1MB animated gif *and* my podcast. Well, maybe I can, but it's the principle of the thing. So, I renamed the image I'm sure they're probably linking to. I've done this before, repeatedly, as someone on a completely separate poker forum insists on direct linking this image as his avatar.

What's so mean about this?

I then uploaded goatse under the old filename.

Ain't I a stinker?

Wasting Time

Go play this game... but only if you're willing to get sucked into something for a while. Read the rules first, then go for it.

This is going to be my new time-waster for the next week or so. Or at least for tonight. This easily rivals Nanaca Crash for addictiveness.

[Link Courtesy of goblinbox.com]

Lost Forever

I just spent 20 minutes writing a long, elaborate entry about my own self-worth and my varied interests and so on and so forth.

Then I accidentally closed the wrong tab in my browser before I hit Submit.

Maybe it's just as well; you didn't want to hear me ramble on about my inner mental crap, anyway. I'll just say that I feel like a jack-of-all-trades, and leave it at that. Maybe I'll be inspired to write about it again some other time.

Willpower

There are many things I should be doing.

But I can't seem to ignore the siren call of Civ IV.

That ho-smack Isabella is just begging for another ass-whoopin'. That, and I really just want to kick some computer tail. I'm tired of Time Victories and Space Race Victories and Diplomatic Victories. I want a Conquest Victory. I want to win because I'm a bad muthafucka, not just because I can get everybody to vote for me as Class President.

Not gonna happen, but kicking ass (or attempting to kick some ass) is still fun.

Sick

Woke up this morning about the time I should have been pulling out of the driveway. Didn't remember turning off my alarm. Threw on the clothes I'd already laid out, tossed some food into a brown paper bag because my normal lunch bag had nasty leaky grodiness in it, and headed out the door.

Got to the car, and suddenly felt queasy. Just out of nowhere. Drove to work, got there late, still felt blah. Ate my oatmeal at my desk, tried to ignore the blah.

But it would not be denied.

I had one of those I'm-glad-there's-a-handicapable-one-stall-potty kind of BMs, took occasional sips of my ever-present water, and tried to get some work done. After a couple of hours, though, I decided that this was dumb, and made arrangements to take half a day off.

Got home around noon-thirty, and confused the shit out of Aaron. Proceeded to take some Theraflu and sleep on the couch all afternoon, waking up for the occasional small meal. Aaron just now left for work, at 5:30. I'm still run down. Not miserable, but tired and still slightly nauseous.

I'm going to continue to chill out on the couch this evening, or maybe play a little Civ IV until I feel the need to lie back down. Watch some DVDs, drink some herbal tea and some water, and take some more Theraflu before bed. Which will undoubtedly be *much* earlier than normal.

So much for getting my podcast out tonight. Ah, well.

Hope For The Future

Aaron and I attended a surprise 30th birthday party for Aaron's friend Jesse last night. Jesse's wife Kelly made sure to let us know that it would be a kid-friendly party — and, true to her word, there were about a dozen kids there. Four belonged to Kelly and Jesse, at least one belonged to Jesse's sister Sandy, I think two belonged to Jesse's friend Eric, and Kris Fries brought Sam. Lots of kids, at any rate.

I wasn't sure how I would deal with being in a kid-filled environment. I mean, it's been years since I babysat, and I don't regularly find myself amongst kids in my daily life. Truth be told, though, I kind of liked it. Jesse's stepdaughter asked me to dish her up some sweet potatoes, one of his younger two (I forget if it was Olivia or Jessica) showed me her boo-boo, and I got hugs and kisses from Jessica, the youngest, before we left.

Having so many kids in a relatively small space made for a very festive atmosphere. The inevitable balloon games were underway — "Don't let it touch the ground!" — and the adults were talking about various subjects, like concerts we attended in the 90's, and weird stuff that happens at work, and geeky gamer stuff like Warhammer and Magic the Gathering. There was tons of food, like Jed's wings and potato salad and sweet potatoes and deviled eggs and green bean casserole, but obviously no alcohol.

And I had a really freaking good time.

This gives me hope for the future. Maybe, once we have kids, we'll still be able to have fun. Maybe we won't be stuck in the house all the time, watching Junior. Maybe we can get together with other people with kids and let them watch themselves for a while, intervening when we hear a loud noise or when our spidey sense is tingling.

Yeah... it might not be too bad.

Adult Content

This entry is about porn. If you are under 18, are squeamish about the general idea of porn (or, more specifically, about the idea of me looking at porn), or if you are my mother, you probably shouldn't read this.

There are no pictures, although there is some strong language and explicit discussion of kinds of pornographic subjects. Probably worksafe as long as no one is reading over your shoulder.

Interested parties, read on.

read more...

Spam

I'm really sick of some of these spam e-mails that Gmail doesn't catch. I've been getting spam like this for years, but for some reason, it just struck me as funny today (spam addresses changed to protect... somebody):

From: Irving <nbpuwwmqv@spammer.it>
To: diana@schnuth.com
Date: Feb 28, 2006 7:46 PM
Subject: probably you

Hire,
i am here sitting in the internet caffe. Found your email and
decided to write. I might be coming to your place in 14 days,
so I decided to email you. May be we can meet? I am 25 y.o.
girl. I have a picture if you want. No need to reply here as
this is not my email. Write me at id@morespam.info

Dear Italian spammer,

I am so glad that you might be vacationing in sunny Toledo, Ohio! Considering that you can't seem to afford your own computer, and instead use someone else's email address in the internet cafe, perhaps Toledo is the only American vacation destination you can afford.

Could you please send your picture along, too? I need to decide if you're a hot enough chick for me to "switch sides" for. If not, maybe I can at least help you with your English enough to find other American lesbians your age.

Hope you enjoy your holiday in Toledo! Be sure to let me know how you enjoy your stay.

Yours truly,
Diana (the spammee)

Got Tagged By Ellie

So, Ellie tagged me for this meme some time ago, and I'm just now getting around to doing it. Sounds like a good meme for a Friday evening... so here I go.

Four Jobs I've Had In My Life:

• Restaurant Hostess
• Cafeteria Line Server
• Computer Lab Consultant
• Payment Processing Associate

Four movies I can watch over and over:

• Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
• Robin Hood: Men In Tights
• Victor Victoria
• Spaceballs

Four places I have lived:

• Medina OH
• Riverview FL
• Parma OH
• Bowling Green OH

Four TV shows I love to watch:
(I don't watch much TV at all, but here goes...)

• ABC Evening News
• PBS specials (especially the Monty Python ones)
• Dirty Jobs
• Taste of America

Four places I have been on vacation:

• Amish Country, Ohio
• Massachusetts
• Tampa FL
• West Virginia (although I was just a baby)

Four of my favorite dishes:

• Fettuccine Alfredo
• 10-minute Szechuan Chicken
• Prime Rib
• Chicken Paprikash

Four websites I visit daily:

• For Better Or For Worse
• LiveJournal
• Flickr
• CNN

Four places I would rather be right now:

• Grounds For Thought in Bowling Green with Amy
• Florida
• At an anime convention
• Making whoopee

Four bloggers I am tagging:

• Talcott
• Sheryl
• Erin
• Anyone who hasn't done this yet

If I Lived In Royal Oak...

...I would totally pay the cover (or print out a free pass) to listen to Chris Rohn spin some tunes at Luna. I mean, just look at that playlist. Damn.

*looks at iPod*
*looks at Soulseek launch icon*

Playlist. Hmm.

Constructive Criticism

Aaron told me that his podcast got a negative review on iTunes recently. Of course, I had to go read what this person had said, even though I knew it would probably cheese me off.

And, of course, it did.

I mean, I know you can't please all of the people all of the time, but I don't see what this guy's problem was. Aaron's podcast delivers everything he promises: anime reviews, convention reports, domestic and fansub releases, news, everything. The reviewer in question apparently disagrees, saying that "hopefully someone can learn from this guy's mistakes and make something worthwhile." The only positive thing he could say was that Aaron's show notes were informative. I honestly wonder if he even listened to more than one or two episodes of the podcast.

Now — and this is *totally* self-centered of me — after all this bagging on my husband's podcast, the guy's last line was, "By the way, I really hate the album art."

o.O

I was really proud of that fucking art, you bastard. I composed that shit myself (with Aaron's artistic direction), and I thought it turned out really classy.

So, thanks a lot, asshole. Thanks for the fucking non-constructive criticism.

[/rant]

Something's Working...

This week, in an attempt to re-align my sleep schedule by about an hour, I've been assembling my meals at 10pm, then showering, then reading in bed, and turning off the light at 11:00pm, no matter what. I've been laying in bed awake for an hour, to be sure, but I've been successfully rising with my alarm clock two days in a row. (Yes, this is an accomplishment.)

Tonight, I got caught up in some genealogy research, so I haven't gone upstairs to make my food yet — and now my body's threatening to cart itself off to bed without my brain's permission.

I'd better go make my food already, before I find myself all tucked into bed with no recollection of how I got there.

OMG Teh Cuteness

I require this shirt. Just FYI.

In other news, tonight involves preparations for Ohayocon, including:

• packing the suitcase
• ironing the costume
• printing the preregistration confirmation
• generally hyping

Which is nothing compared to Aaron's preparations today. On top of all that, he also printed hotel confirmations and directions, went to the post office for stamps (unrelated to Ohayocon, but still in the list of errands), packed up his iRiver and mics for mobile con recording, and did a bunch of other stuff.

He also pointed out that I have no room to bitch and complain about how my helmet turned out, when I assembled it two days before the con. Good point.

Update, 7:20pm: Why is Norton Security blocking the Threadless banner I posted? Gyarr. I can't figure out how to manipulate Norton to allow me to view this simple image, so I'm just turning off Ad Blocking. (Not turning off Pop-up Blocking, mind you, although I doubt I really need it with my kick-ass Firefox.)

I wonder what else Norton has blocked before... hmm.

Happy Freakin' New Year.

I have so many different ideas queued up for year-end (or New Year's, as it were) lists and essays and whatnot. Unfortunately, I am so unenthused about writing right this moment that none of them are going to happen today.

(Some of this lethargy is most certainly due to the extra helping of creamed chicken I ate for dinner this evening. Ugh. Yummy, and filling, but man. I do NOT want to move now.)

So, I guess that, for now, I'll just mention that my New Year's resolution (apart from losing weight, which is always a given) is to finish the projects I start. I have so many half-completed projects it's just stupid. So, this year, I resolve to finish what I start. This doesn't necessarily mean that I resolve to only have one project at a time, because I think that would be impossible for me. :-)

In future blog entries, expect a Year In Review (a *real* one, not the meme I already posted) and my list of New Music Discoveries for 2005.

Threadless Factoid

In order to wear a Girly XL tee from Threadless, I would have to lose a good four inches of boobness (oh, the horror!) and shrink my waist by about one more size.

Maybe once I do that, I'll start trolling Threadless for funky tees. Until then, I will enjoy the Guys XL tee that Aaron got me for Christmas.

Holiday Plans

Saturday: Food preparation. Making the plum pudding, the Italian wedding cookies, and assembling the green bean casserole. Opening presents.

Sunday: Christmas Day in Westlake (Cleveland). An all-day affair, with travel time.

Monday: Meeting fellow podcasters in Ann Arbor after lunch. Perhaps doing some mobile podcasting. Visiting Wizzywig.

We've got a full weekend ahead. Maybe we'll even get to relax at some point. ;-)

Christmastime Is Here

We received our first Christmas card of the season today.

Grandpa and Grandma Cook — Mom's father and stepmother — sent us a card with an unusually short inscription. Usually, Grandma Cook writes the Christmas cards, and adds something about great-grandbabies or asks how we're liking our house or something like that.

This year, though, it looks like Grandpa wrote the Christmas cards. Maybe, after 20-some odd years of taking care of their correspondence, Grandma finally flipped and made Grandpa write the cards. ;-)

What's funny, besides the two-line greeting, is that they've been forgetting what I used to call them. Apparently, to their other grandchildren, they're Grandpa Bill (or Billy!) and Grandma Rose, which is how they've taken to signing their correspondence to me. *shrug*

Because I must be feeling masochistic this evening, I leave you with this photo of Grandma Cook, my stepdad Tom, me (about age 12), and my Grandpa Cook. This photo was taken around 1988, but Grandpa and Grandma looked like this forever. They're only now starting to look considerably older, having put on a few pounds and a few wrinkles.

*looks at wedding photo proofs from May 2003*

They really do still look the same, I think, even after 15 years.

Year In Review - A Meme

Snicked from litagemini:

Take the first sentence (or 2) from the first post of each month of 2005. That's your year in review.

January: This year has been one of a few large upgrades for myself and Aaron. Not a whole lot happened, but what did was pretty major.

February: I do appreciate your desire to share something funny and/or meaningful. However, I have been on the internet for possibly twice as long as you have, which has given me more time to read the various forwards that are *still* circulating.

March: OMG, I am in such a shitty mood this morning.

April: I was just congratulating myself on getting the first draft of the 2005 LSM brochure done, and remembering to print directions to the corps director's house, since I'm carpooling up to Saginaw with him tomorrow (instead of my normal carpool buddy).

May: I have decided to try some home recording. To that end, I purchased the Behringer Eurorack UB802 Mixer.

June: I don't fire up Instant Messenger very often.

July: As I was rifling through a box of old papers the other day, I came across some amusing documentation of college that hadn't yet made it into a scrapbook...

August: Ugh. I don't operate well on five hours of sleep.

September: Joel "Lothar" Magnuson, mellophone player with the Kilties Drum & Bugle Corps, tragically passed away this evening after collapsing on the field during the corps' performance at the Drum Corps Associates' preliminary competition.

October: The new Lakeshoremen.org is live.

November: The first floor women's restroom at my work has three stalls. This is not usually a problem, as we don't all have to go at the same time, so three stalls are sufficient.

December: So, Aaron decided to go on Induction this week, and to step up his daily exercise.

In researching this meme, I have discovered two things: 1.) I write long sentences sometimes; and 2.) I rarely place the thesis sentence of my paragraph at the beginning when I'm telling a story.

Still, that was fun. Any other takers?

Fished In

I let strangers into our house tonight.

I let them sell me something. I tried to tell them no, but they finally made the offer sound too good.

It's my debt, though. I'll pay it off all by myself, and I'll say it's a Christmas present to both of us. Aaron's going to laugh at me, though, and berate me for allowing strangers into our home after dark.

After checking the internet, it looks like I didn't get jacked all that bad, really. As long as I pay it off faster than the nice salesman financed the thing for.

I still can't believe I let him sucker me into it, though. Especially after all that deliberation over a camera that I really, really wanted; now I went and let the nice salespeople convince me that I needed something that I really probably didn't. Something that, overall, cost more than my new camera. WTF.

I need to stop beating myself up over this purchase already. It's practical. It'll be worth it in the long run.

Right?

Update, 7 Dec 2005: Aaron hadn't discovered the new vacuum cleaner by the time the finance people called this morning and ruined the "surprise." He was going to be offended, he said, if I'd bought him a "demasculating" gift like a vacuum cleaner — but when I explained that it was a present for both of us, he was perfectly OK with it.

When I further explained that the Kirby people had totally suckered me into the purchase, and that I had been worried for the past two days about how he was going to react, he was amused (as I predicted) and assured me that he wasn't mad (as I also predicted).

Aaron seems to approve of the purchase, as we should never have to buy another vacuum cleaner again. So, Merry Christmas (or Happy Festivus) to us. :-)

Things I Shouldn't Share With The Entire Internet

I haven't been to a dentist in... *counting on fingers* ...probably five or six years.

When I did go last time, it was in Parma (where my family no longer lives), and I had several visits' worth of very deep cleaning. My gums hurt like a bitch for the next couple of days, but I actually felt a lot better about myself afterward. I was even OK with letting loose a big, toothy smile every now and then (even though my teeth are still crooked).

I kept up with my "tooth maintenance" pretty well for a couple years. Brush twice a day, use those crazy orange Stimudent sticks, floss (sometimes), and swish the mouthwash around. It was a pain when I still lived in the dorms and had to cart all my tooth maintenance sundries down to the bathroom, halfway to the other end of the wing. But I digress.

After a while, my tooth maintenance fell by the wayside, and I returned to my old habits. Suffice to say that, if I'm running late in the morning, I'd rather spend two minutes throwing together my lunch than brushing my teeth. My only saving grace at this point is two years of the Atkins diet: no refined sugar. Or, rather, very little — I won't pretend I don't ever cheat and buy a cookie or a Frappucino out of the vending machine.

So, from what I can tell (and I'm admittedly not a dental professional), I have much less plaque than I had before. I've still got tartar, though, and it's pretty gross. See, my bottom front teeth are very, VERY unstraight — one grew in almost entirely behind the others, so only one-third of the middle of the tooth is actually showing. Someday it would be cool to have my teeth fixed, I think. Aaron thinks otherwise, since he had braces when he was a kid and didn't take kindly to it. But, again, I digress.

Here's the entire reason for this blog entry.

I was in the bathroom just now, examining my bottom front teeth, and being understandably grossed out by the amount of tartar buildup behind the teeth. They all come together in funky ways, and the tartar tends to fill in the cracks where they're crooked and don't meet the way they should. It's weird. Anyway, I stuck a finger in my mouth to pick at it, maybe see how thick the layer of tartar was—

And a piece of tartar CAME OFF.

OMG gross.

What was grosser was that its absence left a weird depression/hole in the normal profile of the back of my teeth. Also, where the tartar had been encroaching on my gums, they were much redder than the rest of my gums. That was also pretty gross. I stood there in the bathroom with an extra pair of tweezers, peering into the mirror and trying to pick off the rest of the chalky tartar behind my teeth.

And I thought to myself, "If Aaron were here, I'd just show him. As it is, I'm probably going to blog this."

Anybody in the Toledo area know a good dentist or dental hygenist?

...

Some complete stranger is going to find this blog entry and comment on my hygiene like this person commented on my lack of style. Heh. I'll try not to be offended.

Obligatory Update

I don't particularly feel like writing right now, but I figured I'd give everyone a rundown of Thanksgiving and the long weekend.

OK, first off: Aaron and I were maybe 15 minutes down the turnpike, heading toward Cleveland, when I started swearing vehemently. Aaron didn't miss a beat: "Pie," he said.

I'd left it in the fridge.

We didn't go back to get it, although we ended up making good enough time (and dinner ended up being late enough) that we totally could have doubled back and gotten the pie. Ah, well — more for us.

Thanksgiving wasn't as weird as it could have been. We spent a lot of time chatting with Pete's kids, who range from 12 (I think?) to 21. Joe, the youngest, finally hit the beginning of his growth spurt and voice change, so that was unexpected and kind of weird to witness. Grammie's getting a little forgetful in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's, and Aunt Elaine is going into a nursing home this week due to her own Alzheimer's-related issues. Things had the potential to be awkward, but really weren't.

As far as Atkins cheating goes, oh yeah. I cheated, and I didn't regret it. (Very much.) In the category of not-Atkins-friendly foods, I ate stuffing and sweet potatoes and a little pie, among other things. Oh, and the acorn squash with brown sugar and honey and whatever else couldn't have been too good for me, either. But there was also ham and turkey and green bean casserole and fruit salad and mashed potatoes and gravy (although I opted to pass on the potatoes).

This week, Aaron's starting back up on Induction again. He's changed jobs at work, from a labor-intensive job to a fairly sedentary one, and he's not happy with the weight he's gained. So, I'm doing Induction with him. I, too, have gained back most of what I lost in our early October two-week Induction, unfortunately. I'm hoping that some of that is just pre-PMS water weight, but I can't count on that.

I'm going to make a concerted effort to exercise daily, also. Since it's getting colder (and rainy / snowy), I'm not going to be able to have my lunchtime walk in the park, so I'll have to plan some evening indoor activity. Yoga, pilates, tae bo (maybe... Billy Blanks kicks my ass, as a general rule), trampolining / rebounding, or just working out with my free weights. Today was a gorgeous day for November (60°F in Ohio!), so I went ahead and walked. Tomorrow may be 40° and not rainy, so I may walk tomorrow, too. After that, though... *thumbs down*

In other unrelated news, I've loaded up my Brownie Bullet camera and am planning to shoot a test roll this week. It looks like it'll cost me around fifteen bucks to get it developed, though, which kind of sucks.

In even more unrelated news, my old RCC cohort Jeff Hawley included me in his mass e-mail update today! I haven't talked to him for maybe three or four years. Turns out he's finished writing a film script, is engaged to a Japanese girl, and did graduate work in England (although I'd already heard that last bit through the grapevine). I e-mailed him back and shared my much less interesting life events with him.

I'm not unhappy with my life, though. I turned out a lot more normal than I could have — and, when I say "normal," I mean it as a completely good thing.

So Tired

Today at work was a pretty blah day. Worked on some boring reports that are sure to put anyone to sleep. I made it through, though.

Then I walked out to my car and saw the flat tire. Nice. Waited for my two co-worker guys to walk out to the parking lot and asked them, "Do you think that's too flat to drive on?" Oh, yeah.

Borrowed James's cell phone to call Aaron and let him know I might be late, all while the manly-men are switching out the nail-ridden tire for the donut. They changed the tire in six minutes flat, while I was on the phone. I thanked James and Rob profusely and drove home on the donut.

I had about two minutes with Aaron before he had to leave for work. During that time, he gave me a hug and I got to open the Kujibiki Unbalance patches I ordered from Japan for this weekend's cosplay. Anyway, he took the other car to work, so he wouldn't be driving on the donut, and so the Contour will be in position for me to take it to work tomorrow myself, instead of the Kia.

Once Aaron left, it was time to go vote. I'm relatively new at this voting thing, having only become politically active at the last presidential election. Our polling place had changed, since the school where we voted last time is now under renovation. I had no trouble finding it, though, and beelined past the NBC 24 camera before they could get a shot with me in it.

I really, really dig the new touch-screen voting machines. Much better than the friggin' Scantron-style bubble sheets we had to fill out last time. Having people from the same neighborhood in the same room was kind of fun, too, and made me long for the days of real community. (The Browns fan behind me telling the Steelers fan in front of me that she shouldn't be wearing that Steelers jacket made for some surprisingly pleasant banter.)

So, voting done, I went home via the gas station to fill up. The Kia had less than an eighth of a tank left, and I filled it for $20.05, which is a welcome change from the $28 of yore (i.e. summer).

OK. Tire changed, husband hugged, voted, gassed up, and back home. Time for food. Threw some sausages in the microwave and voila, dinner is served.

Scarfed that down. Now it's time to get down to business.

This evening was supposed to entail me researching and outlining tomorrow's podcast and finishing up my Kujian helmet. Instead, I ended up talking on the phone with Ann, the new LSM Public Relations committee chair, for 20 minutes about what we should do for press releases. Started looking for some podsafe music for my podcast.

Aaaaand I'm done. I am completely exhausted, and it's not even 10:00 yet. I want to get my podcast done and uploaded tomorrow, so that my biweekly schedule isn't totally out the window by show #2, and so that I have Thursday to do the last-minute finishing-up of my cosplay outfit. I really wanted to work on that tonight, but I'm afraid I'd fuck it up at this point.

I'm so tired, I don't even want to add to my NaNo or play Civ 4. Now *that's* tired. Ugh.

Maybe I need to print out all my low-carb materials, bring them to work, and forego my lunchtime walk in favor of scripting out my podcast. Not a bad idea, although I'll miss my outside time.

*checks weather.com*

Hmm... mid 50s and windy. Not horrible weather for walking, actually. Oh, well.

Gaming Update

Decided to suck it up and buy a new video card. Got a GeForce 4 MX 4000 from Best Buy for sixty bucks. Now Civ 4 runs great (or good enough for me), and my computer actually seems faster now that it's not devoting 96MB of its own RAM to the onboard video.

I figured it was a good investment, anyway. WTF.

Fan-Freaking-Tastic

So, I saved five bucks by getting the new Civilization IV Presell Edition from Amazon with free shipping, which meant that, yes, I got the cool spiral-bound manual and fold-out Tech Tree and keyboard shortcut map and neato box and all that. For only $44.99!

It took a while to get it, what with the free Super Saver shipping and all, so when it arrived, all my willpower to resist playing Civ 4 went straight out the window.

Then I tried to play it.

Dude, where's my map? I can't see anything! I thought at first that maybe I just hadn't explored far enough, but once I started building cottages and roads and pastures and shit, and I *still* couldn't see, I realized something was terribly wrong.

Dude, where's your head?! This looks like the outtakes from Shrek — you know, where they accidentally rendered Donkey inside-out? And his teeth and eyeballs were on the outside, and his fur was all spiky? Yeah.

Updated my video drivers, no help there. Tried a Windows Update, but I'm good there, too. Finally, I found a forum off of the 2kgames website, where I learned all about the "T&L" graphics thingie I read about on the box:

Solver (forum staff member) says:

T&L is a requirement, and that Intel graphics craptroller doesn't have it.

Yes, indeedy, my Dell Dimension 3000 has an integrated Intel graphics card.

*pauses for giant hissy fit*

OMG, Civ is one of my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE games. I never needed anything fancy with my graphics card before. I'm not a big PC gamer, really. I'm content with Civ and Starcraft and occasionally Warcraft.

I'm not sure who to be pissed at: the makers of Civ 4, who assumed that everyone who's anyone would have a graphics card that supports T&L (which I'm honestly still not sure what it is which stands for Transform & Lighting, an apparent staple of 3D graphics), or the nice people at Dell and Intel, who didn't integrate what seems to be a fairly normal and not at all cutting-edge technology into their graphics cards.

In either case, the game is currently fucking unplayable on my machine. I either have to a.) hope to God it plays on Aaron's Dell Dimension 4600, and that he won't mind if I bogart his computer while he's gone at work, b.) spend X number of dollars on a new graphics card (does my computer even have another slot for a graphics card?), or c.) cry a lot and bang my head on my keyboard.

Fuckity fuck fuck goddamn mother fuck.

It looked like it was going to be so super fucking cool, too. I am severely pissed right now.

FUCK.

(And, yes, I know it's just a game. But I've been super-geeked to play this game for over a month now, and this is really shitty.)

Update: Wish I would have known about this site before I blew $45 on Civ 4:

Oh, and FYI? I am not buying any of the fucking $300 video cards they recommend. Maybe I'll dig up some reviews of the Diamond Stealth S80 or the GeForce4 MX 4000 or something. Effectively turning my cool $45 game into a $100 game.

*sigh* Just chalk another one up to me being a big stupid fuckhead sometimes.

Podcasts That Should Be Created

I wanted to find a podcast about low-carb eating, but the only one I could find hadn't released a new episode for months. So, I decided to produce one myself. However... there are still some topics I'm not qualified to podcast about myself, yet I wish there were a podcast out there for them. These topics include:

• Gardening, esp. in the Midwest
• Tai Chi / Qi Gong
• Genealogy [found one!]

...and, um, I had an entire list in my head of podcasts I wanted to hear, but I can't think of any of them now. D'oh! This just turned into a really pointless entry, but I'll go with it anyway.

I think it's time to go to bed.

Massive Update on Stuff In General

I took my final half-day off of work today so I could go to lunch with two women I used to work with. We caught up on each other's lives (mainly work-related), reminisced about the Bad Old Days...

24 September 2002: Just Another Day...

Hey, for once I worked an 8-hour day! Yeah, we were doing so well that we actually took a one-hour lunch and everything. Just for reference, yesterday I worked a 14-hour day. Seriously. My co-worker and almost-supervisor, Loni, worked an hour and a half more than me, since she came in at 6am. Damn, that sucked. Makes the normal 8-hour day seem like a luxury instead of a burden.

...and ate some yummy Mexican food. And despite my lack of a lunchtime walk, I still got my podcast-listening time in, since a.) our lunch meeting was a half hour south of where I work, and b.) I bought a Kensington FM transmitter for the iPod(s).

When I got home, I had intended to work on the LSM site, as it needs some stuff added and updated (like audition info). Instead, I ended up finishing off the cosplay skirt. Yes, indeed, the skirt is complete! Well, except for possibly adding some velcro for good measure, and the final ironing before we leave for Youmacon in two weeks.

Don't worry, I'll definitely post pictures of me and Aaron in costume. :-)

What else...? Oh, yeah, tonight's dinner. I know, blogging about what I made for dinner is certifiably lame, but this was really good. Ten-Minute Szechuan Chicken. It's really easy (even I can do it), and really good... but, now that I think about it, I think I'm going to put the recipe on my next Low Carb Lifestyle podcast, so I'm not going to publish it here yet. If you download this old-school DOS recipe filing program, though, I could be convinced to e-mail you the database file that this fantastic recipe came from. (Thanks, Uncle Pete!)

Yesterday, I told the Acting Executive Director of LSM that I've decided not to march next year. He was understandably disappointed, but he completely understood, which is cool.

I'm sure there's other stuff I should write about, but that's the overall rundown of everything I wanted to mention. Now I'm going to go work on the LSM page. Yay for contact info and audition info and pictures? w00t.

Funk, Again.

Feeling all *meh* this evening. Don't know what my problem is.

I went back through my blog archives, though, and saw that the last time I felt all *meh* like this, a couple months ago, I played Civ III to ease my non-existent woes. That sounds like a plan.

I can't wait until my Civ IV Presell Edition arrives.

I Can't Believe I Got Suckered Into Another Meme

I just did one of these last month from my work e-mail, but for some reason, reading talcotts ' Q & A made me want to do this particular one.

Read on if you'd like to know more about me.

read more...

Seven Degrees of Separation

I love Technorati because I love to figure out how random strangers find my page. There aren't many, but I'd like to welcome Jesse to the fold.

No, not the fold. The club? The elite? No. Um, welcome to the... party? Yeah.

Now, check this. As far as I can figure out, Jesse frequents fantasy-writers.org, a site maintained by Elizabeth Clouse. Liz is my friend Dan's sister, and Dan helps to manage her site. I've surfed around fantasy-writers.org, though, and I can't seem to find any linkage to Dan's personal site anywhere. Dan does link to me from his site, though.

So, I'm not quite sure how and where the blogsurfing went, exactly, but that's how we're linked in some roundabout way.

Or did Jesse find me from somewhere else, followed MY link to Dan, and HIS link to his sister's site? *brain explodes*

'Fess up, Jess. I'm curious. My audience is small. How did you happen to read my random rantings?

...Aaaaaand I'm a dork.

Things That Make Me Depressed

When I realize I'm neglecting a given website and think to myself (way in advance), "Gee, once I'm done redesigning this website, I should really go spruce up that other one."

Then, right before I launch the redesigned website, and am almost ready to think about the neglected website, someone e-mails the mailing list related to said neglected site and says, "Hey. Why isn't this site ever updated?" Then I feel like a schmuck, and publicly apologize for sucking, and share my plans for updating the neglected site. Other list members express their appreciation. I feel better about myself.

Then the person (I hesitate to call the person The Complainant) e-mails the list again, just to say that they didn't mean to start a fight, but really, why is the webmistress giving lame excuses for neglecting the site?

Which, of course, puts me into instant "fuck you" defensive mode, partnered with an unnecessary depression. Not a good way to get motivated to finish the LSM site.

Sometimes I think I should just let someone else take it over. Sure, the entire website was my own idea back in the day (1996), and yeah, that was what made me learn HTML in the first place... but maybe it's time for someone else to take over.

Maybe I will.

I'll give it some thought.

Update, 10:05pm: I told the mailing list of my poor neglected site to give me six weeks in which to turn the site around. If they're not satisfied with the site by Veterans' Day, I will abdicate in favor of a new webmaster of their choosing.

Still depressed. Still haven't done any work on the LSM site tonight. Still has to go live either tomorrow night or Saturday morning.

I hate being depressed when I shouldn't be. I'm going to bed.

Brief Hiatus

There is a distinct possibility that I may be posting less over the next couple of weeks, as I really need to get the Lakeshoremen website ready for its October 1st launch date.

I thought it was all just busywork left, but I apparently still have some troubleshooting to do. I'm going to spend another evening on this particular problem of mine, then if I haven't figured out why my variables aren't talking to each other, I'll ask my geeky homies to get my back.

So, updates will be limited in the very near future, unless something really fascinating happens in the next couple weeks (and I wouldn't count that out entirely) or unless I really get a bug up my ass about something (again, don't rule that out either, as I do have a couple blog entries brewing in my head).

In that same vein: if you've e-mailed me recently and I haven't responded, don't worry. I still love you. You don't suck. I suck.

But, right now, I sleep.

Still Here

Not much to report.

Can't get motivated to finish the LSM site, although I only have two weeks left. Still have a couple of issues to tweak out, like how precisely to have visitors download files stored outside the web root directory (for security's sake).

Aaron got half a day off of work today to study sort guides for his new, easier UPS job, so I got to see him all evening. We went out to dinner at the Happy Rose, our new favorite Chinese Buffet With Sushi Bar.

My new iPod earbuds arrived today. What an upgrade from the Apple ones, and from the $5 Koss jobbies I picked up at Walmart. These are soooo comfy, though the behind-the-neck cord configuration might take some getting used to.

Saw the Arrogant Worms in concert at Owens on Saturday. Fantastic show. Maybe tomorrow I'll feel up to writing a review.

For now, though, I need to get to bed.

Cheerful Things

In keeping with the advice of my blog buddy Wil, I present to you Three Things That Make Me Feel Cheerful, by Diana (age 29):

1. Our one-year-old cat, Mei, has finally begun to mellow out and not attack my hands and/or feet under the covers. Instead, she tends to curl up behind my knees and purr contentedly until she falls asleep. Whenever I move or roll over, she wakes up and begins purring again, despite the fact that I've just made her rearrange her sleeping position.
2. My husband and I work opposite shifts, so he comes to bed around 4am or so, smack in the middle of my night's sleep. Sometimes, though, I'm lucky enough to wake up when he climbs in beside me, and I get a few minutes of cuddly snuggly half-asleep happiness before I drift off again. And, yes, sometimes the cat is still there.
3. Weekends. Weekends make me happy. And not because I'm not at work; like I mentioned, my husband and I work opposite shifts, so I only see him for 25 minutes every weekday. Weekends are when I get to have quality time with my soulmate, which is cool. Whether we go to a concert, an art fair, or just go thrifting, those two days really recharge me and make me a much happier person.

Now it's your turn. In this time of WTF-ness, what makes you happy?

[Note: Wil Wheaton is not really my buddy. Even though he likes The Pixies, and even though I thoroughly enjoy his writing style, and even though I feel as if we would get along (again, reference the familiar writing style), I have not actually corresponded with Wil, nor have I met him. — Hey, Wil? Are you ever planning to do that Star Trek Convention in Vegas...?]

20 Things Meme

Well, nobody's specifically tagged me to do it, but I haven't done it yet, and I thought it might be fun. So, here I go: the "20 Things You May Not Know About Me" Meme. I may go through some basics that my closer friends already know, just because it's interesting "me" stuff, but I'll try to keep it relatively new and as surprising and interesting as possible.

1. I was born to a single mother.
2. My biological father offered to put up the cash to have me aborted.
3. I qualified for free lunches in elementary school.
4. I went to three different elementary schools in three different school districts from Kindergerten through 6th grade.
5. I lived in Florida for three years.
6. I grew up Mormon, and am technically still a Mormon.
7. My mother didn't get married until I was 12 years old.
8. I took ballet lessons for four years, and tap for one year. After we moved to Florida, my mom made me quit because it was too expensive.
9. I was in Girl Scouts for two years. After we moved away from Florida, my mom made me quit because it was too expensive.
10. I was in the Gifted program in elementary school, and the Advanced classes in middle and high school.
11. I got a 4.4 GPA my first quarter of high school.
12. I got put on Academic Suspension after my first year of college.
13. I can play (or could once play) the piano, clarinet, saxophone, flute, trumpet (and soprano bugle), mellophone, guitar, and various odd instruments like the nose flute.
14. I have never smoked a cigarette.
15. I have smoked pot. Once.
16. I voluntarily sang in school choir for seven years, starting in sixth grade. (In elementary school, no one has a choice — everyone has to be in the school musical extravaganza.)
17. When I was in fifth grade, I wanted to be a computer programmer for NASA when I grew up.
18. The only person I have ever had sex with is my husband.
19. I now own five 35mm cameras, and one digital point-and-shoot
20. My eyes are hazel-blue.

Feel free to ask for clarification on any of these, or to do the meme on your own blog. Leave me some love either way.

Going Solo

Aaron has just left with Jessie and Kris to go to the lake, leaving me to my own devices for the weekend. This is my chance to tackle some projects I've been needing to do, but haven't been motivated to start in the evenings after work.

Potentially on the agenda for today:

• Do laundry
• Wash the dishes (not a major project, but it needs done, and I should take responsibility for my banana pudding mixing bowl)
• Clean and organize my desk
• Clean my corner of the bedroom and put my clothes away
• Work on the LSM website
  (and throw together a trifold brochure like I promised I'd do months ago)
• Practice my mellophone

I don't know if I'll finish all these tasks today, but I'm going to try to avoid getting sidetracked and doing something other than these tasks, anyway.

To start off, I think I'm going to go make myself some lunch and see what's on PBS while I eat. I ate so much at yesterday's potluck at work that I never got hungry for dinner, so now I'm starving. o.O

Too Much On My Plate

I've been working on the new LSM site for some time now. It's finally starting to gel. But last week's vacation was a vacation from everything, including working on the site. The work-in-progress needs to be shown to the members soon, preferably within the next day or two, and I want to have it totally complete in about a month. There are still some things I don't know how to do at all yet, like letting members download files from a directory outside of the root "public_html" directory. I know it can be done, though.

So, I should really be working on that. And practicing my mellophone, as we have rehearsal in less than a week, and that particular rehearsal will be our last full-day rehearsal before our final performance.

However... I have The Cleaning Bug™. I never get the itch to clean, and right now I have the desire to make things look pretty, especially the cat/sewing room (aka Someday Schnuthie Junior's Room).

My plants are also suffering, and probably a third of my houseplants require repotting for one reason or another. Many of them are wilty from heat and from settling of soil in their respective pots. I'd like to take them outside and repot them with some TLC (er, Tender Loving Care, that is, not The Learning Channel, although I suppose they could probably help, too).

Oh, and did I mention that I bought a Singer Tiny Serger at Savers for three bucks? Yeah. And it works! Hence the resurgence of the Sewing Room idea. So, I'd also like to be sewing. I have an idea for my next t-shirt surgery sketched out right here on my desk, staring me in the face, mocking me.

I need to establish this evening's priorities. Which sucks. Can't I just do everything?

*sigh*

Update, 9:30pm: Sifted through one box of crap in the sewing room while listening to the final episode of Earthcore. Sat outside and plucked the dead parsley plants out from the living, mainly as an excuse to enjoy the weather. Tweaked a little on the new LSM site, composed an e-mail to the membership about the Work In Progress, and fired it off. Still have a good 90 minutes before I should think about winding down for the night. Word.

See You Soon

It's probably not good form to announce to the entire internet that I'll be away from my place of residence for a few days, but... *shrug* If you ever wondered how that Habitec security system of ours works, I guess now's the time to break in and check it out?

(Note: Just kidding. Please don't break in while we're gone. kthx.)

Aaron and I are taking a brief vacation in Amish Country tomorrow and Wednesday, and checking out the Rock Hall and Body Worlds 2 exhibit (plasticized corpses!) in Cleveland on Thursday. So, I'll be incommunicado for a few days here.

Yay for vacations! I'll let you know if Amish Country rocks or sucks.

Early To Bed...

Ugh. I don't operate well on five hours of sleep.

Donna and I got back from the Massillon drum corps show around 2am last night. I might have called in a half day this morning, had I not just used an entire unplanned personal day for Flash Workshop Day Two. As it is, I'm already taking short lunches this week so I can leave two hours early to catch the LSM carpool up to Grand Haven on Friday. Jeez-o-pete's.

I feel a little bad for not having gotten a lot accomplished this evening, but not bad enough to force myself to stay awake and finish what I'd wanted to do. Looking up ideas for next week's vacation (Amish Country? Cleveland?), adding features to the new LSM site, blah blah blah.

Instead, I'm going to go upstairs and read some Harry Potter (I'm re-reading the series) and go to bed early. Nothing wrong with that.

Except that it makes tomorrow's work day come that much sooner.

Playing Hookey

I scheduled today off of work to take the Intro to Flash workshop that NISDM was offering down at BGSU. Before the class started, the director of NISDM pulled me aside and let me know that, if I was interested, I could take tomorrow's intermediate workshop at a massively discounted price. I did some quick calculations in my head — mainly regarding my amount of personal time from work, rather than my credit card balance — and told her to go ahead and sign me up.

Good thing, too, because if I'd paid $300 for the learnin' I got today, instead of $400 for the learnin' over two days, I'd be kind of pissed right now. It's not their fault, though. I guess I just knew more about Flash than I thought I did. Some workshop participants really needed the supar-slow pace.

Today, near the end of the workshop, we got into fun stuff like animation. (Of course, I'd already been putzing with moving my little home-grown Pac-Man graphic around the screen by that point.) Tomorrow, we get to learn about Action Script, which is what I'm really looking forward to. I hope tomorrow gets in-depth enough that I feel like I got my money's worth out of it.

I haven't decided whether I should call in to work tonight, in advance, or tomorrow morning before I leave for BG. This is going to cost me some half-days I'd been planning to take, for carpooling to drum corps events and such, but I can just take two hours off on those days and make up the time, instead. I'm just glad to have this second day of workshopping.

Like I was telling Sheryl, I'm feeling pleasantly web-geeky lately. Reading my Designing With Web Standards book, figuring out PHP and MySQL and getting a login system going on the new LSM site, taking Flash workshops... hell, you'd think I was a web designer or something. ;-)

Slackin'

Yeah, I know. I used to post every day, and now I post about as often as I shower.

OK, OK, not really. *paranoid glance*

I have quite a bit to blog about, but I've been working on other things and actually having a social life. Amy came up this weekend, and she and Aaron and I went up to the Ann Arbor Art Fairs. I have some pics to post of that, and I think that will be a good excuse to try my hand at creating a database-driven photo gallery. Anyway, that was my Saturday, and hanging out with Amy in BG was my Friday evening.

My Sunday was a drum corps rehearsal up in St. Clair Shores, MI. The staff shared some new information about our trip to the DCA Championships in Scranton, PA, but some of that is still privileged info. Suffice to say, that last hour of rehearsal was one of "oh shit, we have HOW many rehearsals to get this show clean?!" For me it was, at least. I tend to be a little high-strung about rehearsals, even without the unexpected kicking-it-up-a-notch.

This evening, I planted some Lilies of the Valley that Scott from work thinned out of his garden. It's not exactly the best time of year to plant, but maybe — just maybe — I'll be able to keep these full-grown plants alive better than the baby ones.

I also started working on the LSM site redesign again, after a week of slackitude that I could scarcely afford. I now have a userTable and an eventTable set up in my happy content management database. My goal for tomorrow is to complete a functional calendar and event detail pages. I think it's a reasonable goal, and one I can accomplish in an evening.

And that's my life in a nutshell. I have lots of details I want to fill in, but goodness knows when I'll get around to it — that is, assuming I don't get totally derailed by some other blog topic in the meantime, and end up forgetting to post about my nifty bamboo sax or about the abortion protestor in Ann Arbor.

Man... I wish I didn't have to sleep. Or shower.

Done.

Finished Book Six.

OMG OMG OMG.

These are *not* children's novels. Not the kind I read as a kid, anyway.

I had the inkling the book might end something like that, but I was hoping I was wrong. Damn... OMG...

Off to read Sheryl's LJ posts about HP6. Then off to bed.

It's Sucked Me In

OMG, I can't stop reading. I've been reading for over two hours now, more like three. Damn you, Jo Rowling, damn you and your addictive writing style and characters to Zarth's lowest hell!

...And I mean that in the nicest way possible.

*dashes upstairs to keep reading*

Damn You, Harry Potter

I had such plans for my evening. I made my dinner, I did my Yoga For Dummies, I checked my e-mail, I almost-balanced my checkbook... then I took a Harry Potter break.

Six chapters later, I haven't worked on the LSM website, I haven't practiced my mellophone, and I haven't written a review of "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory."

*sigh*

Nose to the Grindstone

Since faxing my Independent Contractor Agreement back to the company for which I will (hopefully) be doing some new media contracting, I've decided that I need to devote a two-hour block each evening specifically to design projects. This is because 1.) I need to get back into the swing of working on a given project without distractions, and 2.) I need to get some of my own projects done before I start accepting freelance projects.

So, my Friday evening and my Monday evening were much the same: make dinner, check e-mail while dinner is cooking, eat dinner while reading a book, finish that chapter. Then come downstairs and finish my e-mailing and blogreading and general crap. Between 7 and 8pm, start designing. Don't stop until at least two hours have passed, or until I reach a good stopping point (usually after two and a half hours).

These past couple of days, I've been working on making more comps for the LSM site redesign. I finally decided that five will have to be enough for a start, and I emailed the Executive and Assistant Directors with the URL to start a discussion of the designs. I think they'll be duly impressed. My current favorites are #3 and #5, I think.

Next step: learning MySQL and figuring out a database structure to make News and Schedule tables. I'll do that during tomorrow's design time. I'm done for tonight.

So Much To Do...

I hate it when I have a list of things I want or need to do, but none of them sound appealing. I could and/or should be doing any of the following:

• practicing my mellophone and memorizing music
  
• finishing my dot book for Sunday's LSM drill rehearsal
  
• finishing/fixing the halter top I've been making for Mom
  
• posting questions on the t-shirt surgery LJ community
  
• fixing the straps on my Drum Corps Unplugged tank (somehow)
  
• putting away my clean clothes
  
• watering my houseplants
  
• washing dishes
  
• exercising (maybe with my Yoga For Dummies DVD)
  
• working on the LSM site redesign

Instead? I've looked up the chords for "Fix You" off of Coldplay's new album X & Y, and played that through on keyboard and guitar a few times; read a few chapters of All the Weyrs of Pern by Anne McCaffrey, and generally laid around and been a slug. I can't get excited or motivated to do much else.

I hate that. *sigh*

Ideas About Schnuthie-Raising

I should probably wait until I have the time and attention to devote to a full-blown entry on this, but I really wanted to comment about child-rearing while it was fresh in my mind.

Nobody get the wrong idea. We're not trying for kids yet. Still, that doesn't stop Aaron and me from discussing our potential child-rearing tips and tricks. For instance:

• As a child, I don't think I was spanked/punished enough. Aaron feels he may have been spanked a little too much. Between us, I think we'll have a happy medium.
  
• Empty threats are useless. Back when my cousin was little, and my aunt would start counting to three, my cousin would shout back, "No counting! Stop counting!" The other day, I heard a neighbor counting to their kid, trying to get the brat to come inside. In neither case did actual spankings occur at "three" — come to think of it, neither parent ever actually *got* to three. My own mother was known to get to "two and three-quarters" quite often.
  
• Respect is mutual. If Junior tells us the truth and doesn't give us reason to doubt him, we won't rifle through his belongings while he's gone, looking for weed or booze or porn.
  
• Positive reinforcement good. Distraction good. Constant yelling and smacking bad.
  
• Sugary snacks bad. Soda-pop bad. Fast food bad.
  
• TV bad. We've seen and read about how exposing young children to television on a regular basis can actually contribute to Attention Deficit Disorder by affecting how the brain develops in the early years. The fast-changing scenes and quick cuts that are so popular in editing can cause a child's brain to develop in such a way that it expects such things, and is physically unable to concentrate for long periods of time. (If you doubt me on this, I can go Google the study later.) Our progeny will not be allowed to watch television until the age of two.

I know there's a lot more that Aaron and I have discussed, and I feel it's healthier to discuss it *now* than to wait until we've had Junior and we're exhausted from all-nighters with the hellian. That will be no time to make important decisions about how to raise our child.

Of course, all plans are subject to change. :-)

Movie MIA

It's not very often that I want to watch a movie. But when I do decide it's time to waste two hours of my life on pure entertainment, it really pisses me off when I have to spend another half hour searching through EVERY GODDAMN BOX IN THE CLOSET and I STILL can't find fucking Victor/Victoria. 75% of the VHS tapes in those boxes will NEVER BE WATCHED AGAIN, and I just sifted through them all.

OMG. WTF. All I want is my goddamn movie. Aargh!

Settle down, Beavis...

Little-Bit-Of-Everything Update

I haven't been too prolific with the blog posts this week, so I guess I should catch y'all up on the latest. Which isn't much, really.

Planted my baby plants on... Wednesday? Yeah. The mini daffodils are under the small maple tree, accompanied by the two snapdragons and one surviving calamint. Around the mailbox, we have three delphiniums in the back, three coreopsis around the front and sides, and two lavender between the coreopsis plants. I know it's too crowded, but if it becomes a problem as they grow, I'll just transplant something out. No biggie.

After waiting and waiting for the rain the weatherfolk keep promising, I finally gave the plants their Miracle Gro plant food mixed in water today. I hadn't wanted to drown them if it had been going to rain... but, after two days of no water, I figured that was long enough to wait.

I've been wearing makeup to work this week—I got myself some new gray eyeliner, and I've been sporting that with my favorite understated lipstick. And that's it. No foundation, no blush, very little eyeshadow. The other woman in my cube at work finally asked me today if I'd been wearing more makeup, and told me that I looked nice. So, I guess it's being noticed, which is cool. Next task: finding a quick but more elegant hairdo than my usual ponytail or loose hair clip. (Sometimes I wear my hair down and tucked behind my ears, which doesn't last long until I pull it back.)

Little things are important. Yeah.

Aaron cleaned the entire house this week, in anticipation of his family coming to visit for Memorial Day. Props go to him for straightening the downstairs, the dining room table, and the cat's room (aka the crap/storage room), amongst other things. Vacuuming, dusting, dishes... he rocks, and I suck.

I've been working on preliminary designs for the LakeShoremen website relaunch over my lunches and breaks at work. So far, I've made... *counting sketches* ...nine thumbnail sketches, one detailed sketch, and two Photoshop comps. Once I get more comps done, I may post some here for your review, since I'm nearly positive no corps members frequent my blog, so I wouldn't be spoiling the surprise for anyone. :-P

...Aaaaaand I'm done.

Relay For Life 2005

Friday night was the BG Relay For Life at City Park in Bowling Green. Around 6:45pm, the Sky Team gathered at our campsite for a team photo. Had I realized that the team photo wouldn't actually be posed, I might have taken a little more initiative to assist in posing people... but, especially as a first-year team member, and as I didn't know the person heading up the photo, I didn't feel it was my job to get the people in back to move up front where they could be seen.

read more...

Nothing To See Here...

Nothing new to report, really. Aaron's on vacation this week and next, so I get to spend evening time with my Honey-Muffin. Yay!

I still haven't quite recovered from my exhausting Sunday of corps rehearsal, though, and it doesn't help that I keep staying up late so I can have more time with Aaron. :-P Oh, so tired.

And I have so, so many things to do, big and small. Clean my desk. Redesign the LakeShoremen website. Work on my multimedia portfolio CD-R. Finish scrapbooking our honeymoon from two years ago (almost—next Tuesday will be two years). Practice my mellophone so I don't disgrace myself in front of a battalion of returned Marines on Memorial Day.

What am I doing instead? Watching Aaron play Half Life, figuring out how to install eyelets / grommets, taking a shower, going to bed.

(As much as I want to have kids... part of me lives for these lazy evenings. In a couple few years, they'll be a thing of the past.)

Waterville Community Garage Sale 2005

Last year, we got a fairly decent haul. The year before was crap. The couple years before that were phenomenal.

This year? Good. Definitely good.

As with last year, we started out at the St. John's Jesuit High School Garage Sale. Unlike last year, both Aaron and I found some stuff of interest:

+ The Best From Fantasy and Science Fiction, Edward L. Ferman, Ed.
+ Star Trek: Legacy by Michael Jan Friedman
+ World's Best Science Fiction: 1971, D. Wollheim and T. Carr, Ed.
+ Galactic Empires, Volume 1, Brian Aldiss, Ed.
+ A Few Minutes With Andy Rooney by Andy Rooney

Yeah, we're sci-fi geeks. *shrug*

We got to Waterville around 10:30am, which is impressively early for Aaron and myself on a Saturday. We started around the Kroger, which is a different end of town from our usual haunts. Good thing, though, because we ended up finding a *fantastic* neighborhood with tons of sales. We must have walked for an hour or more without even moving the car. Finally moved to a different 'hood, then got lunch at Kam Wah (excellent Chinese food), then tried to hit a few more sales, but were just too saled-out to keep plugging away by 3:00 or 3:30pm. But we got a righteous haul this year:

+ PlayStation console, no cables, works, $1
+ Palm IIIc with accessories, works, $15
+ small apple basket (which served to carry sale items)
+ mechanical metronome (not the electronic kind)
+ Game Boy Secret Codes
+ random assortment of terra cotta clay pots
+ metal watering can (to be used as a planter)
+ Sam Kinison VHS tape
+ Tae Bo VHS tape
+ two 45's and eight LP's

I must be forgetting something... Anyway, yeah. Good haul, beautiful day, great weather, and (as always) quality time with my Honey Muffin. :-D

:: ZZZzzz ::

Man... I get tired so early anymore. It's not even 9:30 yet, and already I'm primed to go flop down on the couch with a book and some sort of snack and chill out for the evening. I'm such a lightweight. *sigh*

On the agenda for the weekend: Tomorrow is the Waterville Community Garage Sale, which has become an annual Schnuth expedition. We're planning to start on a different side of town this year, though, because the neighborhood we frequent every year is getting a little stale.

On Sunday, we'll be doing our laundry and shopping a little earlier than usual, so we can visit Sheryl in her packed-up apartment in Perrysburg and bring her some empty boxes. And drive her to get packing tape and trash bags and other randomness. And go to dinner with her at Chili's or some other sit-down place. Good stuff.

But for now, I'll be heading upstairs to crash on the couch with my book, dissatisfied with myself for not having done anything of import this evening.

Happy Birthday, Gary!

I am destined to forever remember my step-Gary's birthday. Damn his mnemonic device:

"May the Fourth be with you."

*groan*

Underachieving

I hate it when I can't manage to finish just a few simple tasks that I set for myself. There were only a few things I wanted to accomplish tonight after work, and I didn't successfully complete one. I started most of them, and got distracted as I went along.

As I cooked my dinner, I started to clear all my junk off of the kitchen table, and found a paperback and a dust jacket that belonged up in the library/media room (where our books and DVDs and 8-tracks and games and such live). As I put those away, I remembered that I hadn't watered my plants in a couple of days, so I got out the little plastic watering can and gave them all a well-deserved drink. And so on.

Didn't finish cleaning off the kitchen table.
Didn't clean my desk.
Didn't wash the silverware like Aaron asked.

While I was doing other random things, like boiling eggs and making a salad for tomorrow's lunch, I was also making candles. That doesn't take much supervision—it's mainly hurry up and wait—so I figured I was good. I came back into the kitchen once the wax was melted, added just the right dyes, measured out the fragrance, and poured the candles at just the right moment during the cooling process.

Without adding the fragrance to the wax. *facepalm*

So, Mark, I apologize for the weirdness of your candle, but I had to dump the fragrance into an already-cooling candle. I ended up with some pretty funky tealights, too.

So, yeah. Not a terribly good or productive evening. And now it's time for bed. Blah.

Another New Toy

I have decided to try some home recording.

To that end, I purchased the Behringer Eurorack UB802 Mixer. It's certainly no comparison to the Mackie mixer I got to use back in my Recording Technology days, but the price was right, and it's good enough for home recording. After all, I haven't done this in a while...

If what I turn out from this little experiment doesn't suck (very much), you can expect to get a sampling when it's ready for prime-time. If it does suck, you can expect me never to mention this venture ever again.

Update: A couple hours of experimentation yielded a one-verse cover that doesn't entirely suck. However, I have remembered something. Something very vital to the success of my little experiment.

I can't *stand* the sound of my own voice. OMFG.

It's just one verse of a Depeche Mode song, me plunking away on my Casio and singing my little pea-pickin' heart out, but if you really want to hear it, e-mail me and I'll send you a URL where you can download it.

Please be gentle.

If I'd Grown Up In Holland...

...I might have watched Sesamstraat as a child.

Like the American version, Sesame Street, Sesamstraat features Kermit, Grover, Bert & Ernie, Elmo, Zoe (the little orange Elmo-esque monster), Oscar, and "Koekiemonster." However... they also have a purple Big Bird character named Pino, a pig named Purk, a Rowlf-ish dog named Tommie, and a rodent named Ieniemienie (or Ienie for short).

I translated part of the Dutch FAQ with Babelfish (because the Google translator doesn't include Dutch to English). With minor editing for grammar (but not enough to destroy the charm of automated translation), this is the result:

Q: Why is Pino yellow in America?

A: That is not Pino, but his cousin Jan (in American: Big Bird). Sesamstraat is transmitted in about 160 countries around the entire world. As lot of countries make their own version of 'Sesame Street'. Tommie, Ieniemienie, Pino, Mr Aart and only plays all other Dutch actors in the Dutch version. In each country there other animals that live in Sesamstraat. Because Pino is also a large bird he is frequently wrongfully confused with his American cousin.

The purple Big Bird just warped my little mind when I first saw it, though.

General Update

Cold: Still going strong. Tomorrow will be its third day of evil oppression. I woke up this morning almost unable to speak, thanks to a sore throat and general phlegminess. Keep hocking up loogies (which is a feat for me). Now my eyes are dry, my gums feel funny, and the cold finally seems to be moving northward into my head. This is unfortunate; this means I could be potentially be much more miserable tomorrow.

LakeShoremen: First performance of the 2005 season is this coming Saturday. I need to a.) hem my uniform pants, b.) make sure my music is memorized (which it is, just about), c.) finish the first draft of the 2005 trifold brochure, and d.) update the LSM website with some much-overdue requests from the corps CEO.

I don't know if I'm going to get all that done tomorrow night, so I'm contemplating pushing back the Sheryl & Diana Shopping Spree Part Deux to possibly next week sometime, like Monday or Tuesday. Not positive about that yet, though. If I'm well enough and productive enough tomorrow evening, and get my pants hemmed and my brochure done (which is entirely plausible), I'll probably still be into teh shopping.

In other news, Amazon.com issued me a new Visa card (the fools). That bastard thing singlehandedly more than doubled my total credit line amongst my three credit cards. o.O EVIL. *muah-hah-ha*

I <3 my new clothes. I've been getting comments about them at work all week:

- "Is that a new top? I bought one like that for my daughter at Kohl's."
- "New clothes? Very cute!"
- "I like that color [yellow] on you!"
- "Springy today, eh?" (from two different people)
- "New shirt? Very springy. Very cute."
- "Boy, you really must've gone shopping, girl! It's nice to see you in clothes that really fit."

OK, I really need to get to bed now. I'm sick and it's late and I need to get better. :-/

Yay, Clothes!

This post is dedicated to the anonymous jackass who posted the following comment:

From your description, it seems you need a "reason" to get up out of bed and clean yourself up these days. You're content to hang out in blue jeans and sweats. You have given up on makeup, hair, grooming and nice apparel. Congratulations--you will be nominated for the "What Not To Wear" show on TLC by your loved ones real soon!

...

Get yourself to a stylist.

Friday evening, Sheryl took me clothes shopping. Not in direct response to the above comment, mind you... but I will admit that it fired me up enough to realize that I hadn't really updated my wardrobe since I lost a shload of weight. I'd bought a couple new pairs of pants, so I wouldn't look like freakin' Bozo the Clown at work, but that was about it. I was still swimming in giant old shirts, some of them with subtle stainage I was hoping no one had noticed. :-\

So, like I said, Sheryl and I went shopping. We'd had an agenda of four stores, but never actually made it past Lane Bryant, as Sheryl ended up going absolutely ballistic on teh cuteness. With her fashion assistance, I ended up buying a pair of low-rise flare-leg jeans, a pair of khakis, a black skirt, a tank / shell with built-in shelf bra, one black bra, one white bra, and five cute shirts. Or was it six? Yeah, six: two pink, one peach, one blue, and two black.

I now have more style and teh cuteness. And a discernable figure.

So, here's a before and after shot. And for you, anonymous commenter, a hearty fuck you.

Holy Big-Screen, Batman!

Courtesy of Sheryl, for a whopping $800: a 55" Mitsubishi widescreen TV. Not pictured: Kenwood surround sound system (ProLogic).

Anyone who knows how big that damn orange lamp is can truly appreciate the scope and magnitude of our new purchase. Holy shit.

I Wish

I wish I could just clip my nails and pick up my guitar after at least a month or two of not playing... and play for more than ten minutes before my fingertips turn warm and swollen, and have clean chord changes and firm hand strength.

I wish I could plug in my keyboard after months and months of not playing... and be able to coordinate my left hand with my right like I could by the end of Class Piano. (Which still wasn't all that.)

I wish I could remember how to hear the songs in my head and let them out, like I did before I heard so much honestly good music and lyrics and became self-conscious about my own.

I wish I still had an instrument that I felt was *mine*. One where I could just think a about note or an interval or a melody, and then play it, without fracking or sliding or guessing.

I wish I'd stuck with my music more. I wish I weren't so rusty. I wish I hadn't managed to let even my voice go to shit.

I wish there were more hours in the day.

Girlie Stuff

I was looking through my old journals from Junior High, for some details about, well, when I "became a woman," as my mother would put it. I discovered that my journals are nearly impossible for me to read now without a.) cringing at my naivete and stupidity, b.) being amazed that I used to write like an 8th grader, and c.) wondering why the hell I wrote about such trivial shit when I could have written about important things, like switching from pads to tampons.

o.O

Gentlemen, you'll want to skip the rest of this entry. Really. It's for "women" only.

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Happy St. Patrick's Day!

First, let me give credit for the photo that has been gracing the masthead this week. I *heart* Google image searches, although I do tend to swipe images without permission. (As my site isn't exactly commercial, though, and gets a grand total of 10 hits a day, I honestly don't feel too bad about it.) Anyway, thanks be to Jessa for posting this wonderful photo from her trip to Ye Olde Emerald Isle back in 2002, even though I'm a cowardly bastige and didn't ask her permission to use it. (OMFG, so jealous. Ireland is most definitely on the list of places I want to visit before I die.)

So, we all know that St. Patrick's Day is in commemoration of St. Patrick, who drove the snakes out of Ireland, right?

Yeah.

If you're interested in what it's *really* all about, here are some links for you:

+ St. Patrick's Day: Customs and History
+ Scotland Online: St. Patrick's Day
+ History of the Shamrock, Leprechaun, and Blarney Stone

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Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Iraq...

Found on Cynical-C:

The Iraq Culture Smart Card is published by the Marine Corps as a quick-reference guide for potential communication and cultural issues that may arise during a soldier's tenure in the Middle East. Some interesting facts about Iraqis:

• Muslim men who have made the Hajj, or the pilgrimage to Mecca, wear a different color of head covering than those who have not.
  
• A "quick upward head snap with tongue click" is apparently equivalent to our negative head-shake.
  
• Both the "OK" sign and the thumbs-up gesture are considered obscene in Iraq.
  

Oh, and by the way? I found the typo. Can you?

I am a Kottke.org Micropatron

I just contributed to a pledge drive.

See, a couple of weeks ago, Jason Kottke announced his decision to blog full-time. To that, I say Right On. Don't let The Man get you down.

Or, to be a little more grown-up about it: I really respect his decision, and I'm willing to put my money where my mouse is. I wish that everyone could quit their tedious paying-the-bills crap job and make a living doing what they love—or what they feel is important. It's not feasible or viable for everyone, though; so, when someone makes that entrepreneurial leap into an untested enterprise (but one that makes sense), I'm all for it.

And, hell, if you donate 30 bucks, you have a chance of winning a prize. :-)

But then I got to thinking... I've read Dooce for much longer than I've read kottke.org. And she asked for donations a while back, too, although she didn't offer prizes or anything. So, I went and donated 30 bucks to her, too.

My blog karma is now clear. I feel better about myself.

Guilty Pleasures

Um... I'm kind of embarrassed to admit this, but...

For the past couple of days, I've been on a Barry Manilow kick. o.O

I only wish I could find the original Barry Manilow Greatest Hits album in mp3. I downloaded the Greatest Hits Platinum Collection, but it's not the same. Most of the tunes are his 80's songs and remakes of his older hits, not the original 70's tunes I played over and over on my cassette player during that one summer when I was thirteen. (Gotta love double-album-length cassettes. That tape I once scammed from my Mom had is now apparently available on CD as Volumes 1 and 2, with a bonus track on each.)

Is it any wonder that I was a social reject? :-P

Excited? Or Manic?

I feel excited today, like I have lots of fun projects to look forward to later tonight. Since I figured out how to make the sewing machine go last night, I have lots of ideas of stuff to experiment with and practice, to prepare myself for making a fursuit and fleece hats and such. Half a dozen people in the office have commented on the tealight sampler that Holly bought from me, asking me what all I sell and how much candles cost, so I?m all geeked to try some more scents and add a PayPal shopping cart to my candle website and post photos of my available containers and all that. And on top of all that, I still have some updates to add to the LakeShoremen website, in addition to doing some preliminary designs and critiquing other corps? websites for design ideas. Oh, and I need to practice my mellophone and do some exercise (which I?ve been neglecting for the past week or so, due to various issues).

Now, if I can only maintain this excitement through the work day and make it carry over to this evening...

Update, 12:44pm: Still happy, even after a 10-minute nap during my lunch break (which always has the potential to make me groggy). The blue sky an fluffy white clouds are exciting me now, even though I know it?s still friggin? cold outside. I?m rarely genuinely happy like this, so I?m kind of basking in it while it lasts. Usually I?m depressed for no good reason?being happy for no good reason is a pleasant change.

Update, 2:59pm: The sun is beaming into the window by my cubicle, casting neat highlights and shadows on the budding geraniums in the windowsill. I?m still in a good mood, but not quite as much as I was. Now I?m just anxious to get home, and I know I still have two hours to go.

Update, 8:43pm: Not enough hours in the day. Not enough energy in the Diana. Made a yummy dinner of garlic-ginger chicken with low-carb linguine (yes, my own concoction), then updated the LSM site. Now I'm tired and don't want to do anything constructive. Now, even though I'm excited inside, I can't get enough oomph to fire up the sewing machine and make... nothing, yet, except strange patterns of stitching on practice material. Maybe once I chill for a while and eat a low-carb fudgie bar and find a new book to read, I'll be interested in sewing some more.

Ah, intentions... *sigh*

Unmotivated

Ehh.

It's not like I don't have a to-do list the length of my arm.

I just can't get excited about any of it.

I can't even get excited about sitting at my computer and watching Episode #6 of Fullmetal Alchemist.

I'd contemplate taking a nap, if I wouldn't end up feeling cheated out of a half-hour of my day. As it is, I'm contemplating just chillin' on the couch and reading a book I've read a dozen times before.

I really wish I could make myself get up and pick something to do, because goodness knows I've got enough to keep me busy. Review drumcorps websites and make preliminary designs for the LakeShoremen site; encode more mp3s and burn a new mp3 disc for work; put all my clean clothes away; clear off the dining room table; hell, I could even clean my desk. But my eyes are tired... legs are sore from yesterday's workout... brain can't concentrate... my stomach thinks it's hungry (and it could be right—I did eat a pretty small dinner)... I dunno. Maybe I'll chill for a while and see if anything sounds good after 'while.

Sparking Debate

It occured to me today that my posts as of late have been mainly fluff: avatars, candles, news updates, and the like. There are a few things I've posted about recently—mainly the Larry King Live interview with LDS President Hinkley and my Ohayocon pictures & review—that have generated a veritable fuckload of search engine traffic, which is fun.

It also occured to me that I could quite possibly have forgotten how to formulate a proper written argument. (It's been a while since undergrad.) This shortcoming could present a problem when trying to pontificate on a potentially controversial subject; after all, I'm not the sort to go spouting off at the mouth on a regular basis. So, when I do get on my soapbox, I try not to sound like a raving idiot.

So, instead of writing a proper essay, I will instead string together a few potentially controversial facts, and see where the comments go.

*dons flame-retardant gear*

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To Everyone Who E-mails Me Forwards

Edit: Also: when you forward me pictures at work, please make sure they?re work-safe. A picture of a half-naked cowboy with his johnson strategically hidden behind a saddlehorn, while intriguing, does NOT qualify as work-safe.

Dear Friends, Co-workers and Relatives,

I do appreciate your desire to share something funny and/or meaningful. However, I have been on the internet for possibly twice as long as you have, which has given me more time to read the various forwards that are *still* circulating. This has also given me the time and opportunity to cultivate my discerning taste for internet humor.

In the interest of ceasing to waste my time and yours, I offer these points for you to peruse at your leisure:

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Miscellany

Well, I haven't really been in the mood to sit down and blog for a while. I'm still not. But, still, there are a few tidbits that might interest those of you who don't talk to me very often. (Oh, wait—that's everybody except Aaron.)

So, let's see... Last week, I was offered a position as Webmaster for an organization of which I am a member. As people do Google this particular organization and find my website, I won't include it in the text of this entry, just in case it's not public knowledge amongst the membership yet.

The whole experience made me feel good about myself, really, and gave me a much-needed ego boost. Apparently, the Guy In Charge had asked my Carpool Buddy (also Assistant Director) if he knew of anyone who was well-versed in things web-design-related. So, since I've made known my web design proclivities, my Carpool Buddy gave The Guy In Charge my name and the name of one other person (who happens to donate server space for another organization I volunteer my time with). So, they asked, I accepted, and now I'm the Website Committee Chair, aka Webmaster, with my partner-in-crime as self-proclaimed webminion. We're working on getting Paypal set up so members can Paypal their dues; then we'll be starting on a full-site makeover.

On another subject: Mark, Aaron and I were going to go see Boogaloosa Prayer on Saturday night, but Mark ended up getting ill and staying home, so Aaron and I decided not to go. Good thing, too, because the Austin City Limits featuring the Pixies ended up being on PBS Saturday night instead of Sunday, like Aaron had thought. So, we unplugged the internet and plugged the cable into the capture card in Aaron's Dell, and gave this whole PVR thing a shot.

OMG. That was SO cool.

We made a DVD out of the Austin City Limits show, complete with chapter stops and artwork. (I'm still working on making print-quality PDFs of the insert I made, and on getting the stupid disc art to print.) Making DVDs totally beats taping a show on VHS. This rules.

(Edit: Check out JPGs of my cover art and disc art)

As for today... ehh. Started out OK, pretty slow work day. Ended up kind of really freakin' busy. See, we have to get all of our loan changes and modifications finished by month-end, and we have to stay until they're finished. Everything was cool until, like, 3:00. Then every goddamn loan officer in Sky decided it was time to fax us shit. I ended up staying 20 minutes overtime because of the workload and because of a computer glitch that made me enter a bunch of data twice.

Now, I wouldn't mind the overtime so much, if it weren't for the fact that the half hour after I get home from work is my only Aaron Time during the day. My half hour of daily Aaron time became ten minutes today, and that was after speeding home Gran Turismo-style.

And then it doesn't help that I'm *always* tired after work, and I'm getting, well, tired of it. It's just, goddamn, how can I follow my Amy's advice to avoid making work the central part of my day when all I want to do when I get home is eat, watch the news, and take a nap?

But we won't get into that. I just wanted to give y'all a quick what's-up. Oh, and it looks like my daily hits have subsided back to around 15 a day. Guess I didn't get too many new "regulars" after the Ohayocon post. Ah, well.

Quiet Time

When I was little (up until I was about eight years old), my bedtime was 8:00pm. At 7:00, I had "Quiet Time," which involved turning off the lights and watching the beginning of the evening's prime-time television programming in the living room with the rest of the family. No playing or running around, and I believe I had to be in my nightgown by this point.

Even at eight years old, I thought 8:00 was a god-awful time to have to go to bed—especially when it was still light outside, and other kids were still playing. But rules were rules, especially when it was a schoolnight. I remember Mom told me once that maybe those kids' mommies didn't love them as much as she loved me, or something like that. But, anyway, having Quiet Time really helped settle me down for bed, even if I did try to read under the covers afterward.

Fast forward to twenty years later.

After this weekend of drumcorps shenanigans, I was (and still am) aching in places I'd forgotten about. My shoulders, back muscles, thighs, biceps and triceps all ache—and all we did was stand there and play our horns! (And get high on breathing exercises. Easy, legal and free. Oh, yeah...)

As I contemplated my aching muscles at work today, it occured to me that I hadn't christened the actual bathtub in our new house since we'd moved in. Showers, sure, but no baths yet.

So, this evening, around 9:30pm, I put some 24 Gone in the CD player, went upstairs and drew myself a bath. (After giving the tub a good scrub, that is.) And, oh, how good it felt. I'd forgotten that I like baths. Oh, yeah.

Now here I sit, in my bathrobe, listening to the 24 Gone CD play itself out, blogging, wrapping up the day's to-do list. So relaxed. So much less sore than I was.

I think I should make this into my new Quiet Time.

Not Usually One For "Memes"

I found this one intriguing; it's about High School. So, I figured, WTF.

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Anime Weekend

I know I don't generally update much on the weekends, but this weekend will be especially sparse, as Aaron and I will be at Ohayocon in Columbus. We've attended for the past two years, but only for one day—this year, we've reserved a room, and will be at the con from Friday afternoon through Sunday.

Aaron's got some co-workers that are going, too, including some that I've never met. They have every intention of drinking like crazy collegians in their hotel room, apparently. We'll see how that pans out, as Aaron and I will likely be spending most of our "free" time screening anime in one of the several video rooms.

Unfortunately, we didn't manage to procure a sewing machine in time to create my masterful Totoro cosplay outfit. Maybe next year.

We're bringing the digital camera, so I may spend my day off on Monday posting highlights from the con. In the meantime, you can read about our previous experiences from Ohayocon4 and Ohayocon3.

Ehh.

I have a couple of witty ideas for blog entries, and I wanted to document yesterday's LakeShoremen Brass rehearsal, but I just feel kind of ehh. Aaron's even home for the week, and still I feel ehh. I did manage to successfully install MT-Blacklist, and for that I feel a little less ehh, although I won't know if it's not working until... well, until it doesn't work.

I'm going to go see what Aaron's found to watch on TV. Oh, yeah, and I'm going to stop drinking so much Caffeine-Free Diet Coke, because I'm belching like... um... like I did in college. Except quieter.

Resolutions

Well, it wouldn't be a proper New Year without a resolution. In years past, I've tried multiple angles on the Resolution: one simple thing (last year's resolution to brush my teeth more), one obvious thing (losing weight, multiple years), or a combination thereof.

This year, I'm trying a new angle: a to-do list categorized under one broad idea. The theme for 2005 is "Preparing For The 'Mom Thing.'"

Not about my Mom. Like, about me being one. Scary, eh?

So, the way I figure, I need to kick up the responsibility factor a notch if I'm ever going to be responsible for another human being. That, and to keep Aaron from eventually kicking me in the teeth with frustration. It would happen, I'm sure.

This could obviously take on several discrete tasks. The main ones I'm thinking of are:

• Lose 20 more pounds or 2 more dress sizes by Autumn 2005
• Find and see a local doctor (general practicioner / family doctor) and a girlie doctor (aka an OB/GYN)
• Unpack my boxes of keepsakes and scrapbooking items currently taking up space in the small bedroom
• Brush my teeth more often, with the prescribed Tooth Maintenance™
• Be punctual (leave for work on time, arrive on time)
• Be more domestic, in terms of cleaning house

The list in my head is more detailed, true, but there are some things that aren't for public consumption. I'm sure you don't need to hear all the gory details about my potential exercise routines or my regime of Tooth Maintenance™ (although Amy knows all about that, and so does Aaron).

So, yeah. I need to do some self-improvement, as per usual. Maybe if I focus on preparing myself to be a better caregiver—no, say it: to be Someone's Mommy—then maybe that will give me the impetus to be a better person now.

Damn These Dreams

I had a dream last night that I found out my husband was sleeping with someone else while I was away from the house. In the dream, it was someone I knew, but not in real life. I don?t remember how I found out, but I remember feeling like I?d been punched in the stomach. (That was a regular occurrence when I was little, so I know how it feels.) I was ready to forgive him, though, except for one thing:

?So, what do you say?? I asked him in the dream, referring to what they did during the act itself. ?Do you tell her you love her?? He said he did.

That was even worse than being cheated on physically. The idea that he could not just make love to someone else, but actually *love* someone else hit me the worst in my dream.

Don?t worry, Aaron, I know it was just a weird dream, and that you wouldn?t actually do anything like that... It was still disturbing, though.

Christmas Recap

As is my wont each year after Christmas, I now begin the annual tally of Stuff I Got For Christmas.

From Aaron to me:
A refurbished Dell Dimension 3000 (so, so nice!) | Wil Wheaton's book Just A Geek | a Whitman low-carb Sampler | eight, count 'em, *eight* boxes of Pocky | a five-pack of Fuji film | The Spartan Dischords' CD Happy Hour

From Aaron's family, to both of us:
From Uncle Pete: The Best of Times: America in the Clinton Years | From Grammie and Poppa: $70 gift card to Wal-Mart | From Aaron's Dad: two crisp bills of currency that made our eyes bug out slightly | From Aaron's brother Matt: $30 to Value City

With the money from Grammie and Poppa and Aaron's dad, we had quite the haul at Wal-Mart: A Dirt Devil bagless vacuum, a filing cabinet, a new desk lamp for me. windshield wiper blades for the Kia, a new Stanley toolbox, and other various odds-and-ends.

Mom didn't get me anything this year, but I can understand why: they've been in their new house for some time now, and neither of them are employed yet. They're still trying to figure out how to make next month's mortgage payment, so I wouldn't expect them to go out Christmas shopping.

So ends another holiday season.

Io Saturnalia!

Saturnalia, as any student of Latin knows, was the Roman holiday analogous to Christmas. On XVI Kalends Ian (the sixteenth day before the first of January), the feast of Saturnalia was celebrated. Eventually, the celebration stretched to multiple days. As found on the University of Vermont Department of Classics website:

Similar to our Christmas, [Saturnalia] was characterized by the giving of gifts. In fact, eventually the rites of the Saturnalia festival was absorbed into the Christian tradition and reborn as Christmas. The social order was also inverted, citizens would serve dinner to their slaves, and those slaves would later go out into the streets and gamble with dice, which was illegal during the rest of the year. On the day of the festival itself, there was a sacrifice at the temple followed by a public banquet. After this banquet, citizens are reputed to have shouted "Io, Saturnalia!"

Now, Romans were known to love their holidays, but Saturnalia was their favorite. In fact, it was so embedded into the Roman culture that by the time Christianity had taken hold in the fourth century A.D., many (if not most) of the traditions of the Saturnalia had been absorbed into Christmas.

Io, Saturnalia!

Bored... again.

Generally, when I'm bored, that means—by definition—that nothing I can think of sounds good. This evening, though, it's a little different: I can think of plenty of things to do, but they all either seem pointless or monumental or I just can't find the motivation.

I could pack up Mom's present to ship to Texas. I could plan out next Spring's new garden. I could revamp the Saginaires Alumni page (which desperately needs attention). I could locate and install Vegas Video on Aaron's computer and do some video editing. I could wrap some more presents. I could do a write-up of the Roman holiday of Saturnalia (coming up tomorrow!) or Yule / Winter Solstice, or even Christmas. I could finish reading my Better Homes and Gardens magazine that came in the mail today. I could find something to eat. I could practice my mellophone.

I can't get excited about any of these things.

On top of that, my right hand is freaking freezing from sitting down here for two hours with my elbow on the arm of my desk chair, websurfing. My left hand is only moderately chilly, but my right one is starting to feel like marching band practice. You know. (Or maybe you don't.)

I think I'll go and think about spring and planting and gardening and how not to fuck up the $100 worth of plants I might buy *next* year.

Edit, 10:37pm: Yeah, I'm a big dork. One quesadilla and ten deep-knee bends later (while my quesadilla was microwaving), I read the rest of my magazine on the couch and was content to do so.

I then came downstairs and tinkered with Vegas Video until I made it go (and, um... it was completely legal). The video editing conventions seem to be similar between applications, as I managed to figure out how to export only a section of the captured video, and the controls make some sense to me (after ten minutes of WTF). Aaron's computer is now rendering a test version of an XviD .avi file of the 1986 Northern Aurora performing their Semifinals performance of The Nutcracker.

This has the potential to be cool. (Vegas Video, that is, not necessarily the Nutcracker.)

Weird Dreams

I had a couple really weird dreams last night. I was getting ready to go to drumcorps ? the buses were just outside, and it was the beginning of the season, but a bunch of us were already sleeping in a big room (like a gym or an armory). All my stuff was everywhere, though, and disorganized, and unpacked, like I was still at home. I kept going through my stuff, packing it into bags, deciding what to bring and in what bags, all the while realizing that people were loading up on the bus already. Somehow, I knew that I'd never really unpacked my stuff from the previous year (or two), so I knew I had everything I'd need right there.

Finally, I got all my stuff almost together, and ran out to the bus I saw outside my window so that they wouldn?t leave me. The bus said Crusaders on the side, and I couldn?t believe that we were renting buses from Boston and not even changing the name on the side. When I climbed up, though, I saw that it was the chuck truck, not the member bus. I told the cooks inside, who were also just about to go, that I was almost ready to go and wanted to make sure the bus didn?t leave without me. They looked at me kind of amused, and told me that I?d better start running, then, because it had already left.

I was dumbfounded ? no one had told the driver that I wasn?t on board? Had no one noticed? Wacky D (a drummer from my days in Northern Aurora) was there, but older, and he and the other cooks agreed that I could come on the chuck truck with them if I hurried.

I also had a dream that Rob Wozniak kissed me, but that was really weird. Not entirely unpleasant in my dream, but weird in retrospect. I never found him attractive, really, and still don't.

(For anyone who doesn't know, Rob used to work for RCC, and now works in my department at Sky Bank.)

An Open Letter To Aaron

The UPS driver arrived at 6:40pm this evening. He did indeed have the two boxes of which you spoke. And the larger of the two did indeed have a very obvious big blue brand name printed on all sides of the box. It was the branding I guessed it would be, after hearing your "UPS is going to ruin Christmas, and don't feel like you have to spend more on me because of the logo you see on the box" speech.

But, as promised, I will forget that I saw said logos, and I will ask no questions at Christmastime.

For now, though, while I still speak openly of The Present...

You Are Awesome. I didn't even ask for that. You just knew. You are the sweetest husband EVAR (as they say).

I love you.

Party Aftermath

Just wanted to check in real quick and let everybody know that I did successfully host a surprise party for Aaron's 30th birthday, after nearly two months of planning and pre-planning. There ended up being... *counting heads* ...thirteen people crowded into our little living space yesterday. I've got digital pics, and will be posting a detailed narrative of the evening soon, probably tomorrow.

As for now, I won't go into it in detail, since I'm feeling kinda tired. That, and the leftover Jell-O shots called to me, and I caved, so I'm not entirely coherent right now between a few of those and being tired already. Heh.

Willy Wonka, Tim Burton-style

Holy Freaking Crap.

This will either a.) be extremely cool, b.) rape and destroy my fond yet creepy childhood memories of the Gene Wilder version of Mr. Wonka, or c.) all of the above.

Election Night: Running Commentary

Not that anyone checks my blog on an hourly basis, but I thought it would be fun to run a commentary on my opinions and reactions as the poll returns come in. I'm watching Peter Jennings and his election team on ABC, for reference.

8:00pm - Early, early returns are disappointing. Bush has 39 electoral votes, Kerry has 3, and it looks like Ohio's ban on gay marriage is going to pass by nearly a 2:1 margin. Damn, damn, damn. Why are people so... I don't know... narrow-minded? The gay marriage referendum closed the door on civil unions, as well, through its wording. I'm not usually very vehement about political or social issues, but this is one defeat that is highly disappointing to me.

8:05pm - That's better. Bush with 66, Kerry with 74. Give me a second for them to put up the map... Nope, neither Ohio nor Florida are tallied yet.

8:15pm - Now, at this particular moment of electoral limbo, with returns coming in and nothing yet decided, there is one thing I'm most pleased about: NO MORE POLITICAL ADS. I never thought I'd be happy to see a Chrysler commercial again.

8:35pm - The online Electoral Vote Predictor currently shows a near-tie in the presidential election: Kerry with 262, Bush with 261 electoral votes. This is, of course, speculation and statistics, and the candidates need 270 votes to clinch the Presidency. Still, though, it's heartening.

8:40pm - Fuck. Now it's 102 to 77, Bush. I need to stop getting worked up over each single state reporting in and being tallied. It's a long night ahead.

9:15pm - Emerged from Photoshopping to check the returns, and was surprised by the map. There's an awful lotta red on that map. Part of me is wishing Ohio would pop up on the map already, but part of me is daunted by the fact that the preliminary results are showing Bush besting Kerry in Ohio by about 55% to 45%. It's still early, I know, but I'm starting to feel a little defeatist about this. I'm also feeling like I might fall asleep before the results are all announced.

9:55pm - Feeling more sleepy and more disheartened by the moment. The local news keeps reporting that Bush is currently edging out Kerry in the Ohio race, although the margin gets slimmer as more precincts report in. I'm going to try to stay up for at least another half-hour or so, in hopes of getting a better idea of who will be President when I wake up in the morning.

10:20pm - Aaron just called from work to ask how the results were looking. As I tried to explain that Bush was ahead, but that none of the Battleground States had been decided yet, it occured to me how tired I truly am. I was stumbling all over my words, and my brain felt like cotton. I think I'm going to try to stick it out until 11:00, and see what it looks like at that point, and then go to bed and see who's President when I wake up in the morning.

10:45pm - Ralph Nader is so sad. The excerpt from his speech this evening nearly put me to sleep (which, at this point, isn't terribly difficult). I hope he doesn't try to run again in 2008. He might have done well in earlier years, back when more people knew his name as... well, a corporate activist, I guess one might call him. For now, though, in the year 2004, he just looks so sad and so washed-up that he doesn't exude any sort of presidential vibe. Not to say that he doesn't still have good ideas—it just takes a certain amount of political sleaze and schmooze to make an effective, electable candidate. And he ain't got it.

11:05pm - OK, I'm done. As of right now, it looks like Kerry's going to win Pennsylvania and California, so the electoral vote stands at 200 to 188, in favor of Bush. At least it's a little closer now. I'm just too tired to justify staying up to see who the next president will be.

So, Aaron, you might leave me a note or something telling me who the President is, so I won't have to have people at work tell me tomorrow. :-)

Good luck, all. I hope we won't have voted in vain.

All Hallows Eve

Interesting, I think, how dark it is in my neighborhood tonight. Even our next-door neighbors, who always have their motion-sensor porch light on, now have all their lights off and their blinds drawn. Can't have anyone mistaking yours for a trick-or-treat house, after all. Our own porch light is broken, though, so we couldn't really hand out candy tonight even if we'd planned to.

Aaron and I kind of forgot to carve our jack-o-lantern until today, so we're planning to do that after dinner. Of course, that will be long after the trick-or-treaters have gone home to count their Smarties and Tootsie Rolls and get wired on sugar before bed. Ah, well. It's the thought that counts.

And if you're not into the modern American Halloween festivities (but who isn't?), you could always reflect on your family or learn about the history of Halloween / Samhain and how other beliefs and cultures celebrate the day.

Catching up

Ugh. Need more hours in the day. Still have stuff to do.

Recent events: Went with Aaron, Kris Heath and Jamie on the Haunted Train Ride in Waterville on Saturday. Cookies and cider and an hour-long train ride for $9. Cheesy "actors," but a fun evening nonetheless.

Went with Aaron to the Michael Moore rally yesterday. Unlike anything we've ever attended before. Learned a few things we didn't know, got extra fired up to go vote Kerry. More later, I think.

Tonight I finished Order of the Phoenix while I should have been cleaning the bathroom. Good Christ, what next? Oh, and according to the FAQ on J.K. Rowling's website, she's not done axing characters, either. How could she be, given the prophecy? Now I can't wait for books six and seven, either... Damn. At least now I can go and read all the Harry Potter websites and message boards without fear of spoilers... for the published books, anyway.

(I do love how she remembers how it was to be sixteen and presumptuous and impertinent and full of yourself and all that. Of course, I wasn't a wizard, but I remember being kind of like that... though I swear I wasn't nearly as much of a moody bitch as Harry was.)

Oh, and thanks, Eric, for mentioning the Wired Creative Commons CD. I went and downloaded it via BitTorrent while I played a brief stint of Civ III this evening, and I've now burned it with the intention of bringing it in the car with me tomorrow. Good stuff so far... the Beasties and David Byrne are worth the free download, IMO. :-)

OK, I'm going to go scrub the bathroom sink before I fall asleep.

In Case You Were Wondering

Aaron accosted me as I arrived home this evening—quite late, due to a traffic backup on Reynolds Road—and made me promise not to get all depressed and funky this evening. It wasn't so much the verbal demand as it was the incessant tickling and throttling and schnuthberries on my neck that made me agree to this arrangement.

So, I ate dinner, watched the news, checked my e-mail, read my blogs, tried to find some of Sheryl's family on those genealogy sites I mentioned earlier (no luck yet), cleared a couple things off the stack on my desk, and played Civ III for a couple hours. Perfectly content. I was just contemplating staying up for a while longer, just because I don't have to get up early tomorrow, but my body is rebelling.

At this moment in particular, the cat has decided that I've ignored her long enough, and is curled up in my lap, purring and kneading my right arm. At least she doesn't slide off like she did when she was a teensy kitten.

Yeah, I think it's time for bed. Do not read Harry Potter, do not collect $200. Come on, kitty. Let's go upstairs.

Being A New Urbanist

Not that I don't like our new house or anything... but I do kind of miss having a downtown area to walk around. Tonight, I could have seen myself braving the cold chilly wind and traipsing down to Grounds with a notebook and pen. Maybe bringing a packet of Splenda and pocketing the miniature bottle of caramel sugar-free syrup from our fridge and ordering a decaf.

Sure, there are places in Toledo I could have driven to, but there's something different about having the walk to clear your head. When you're driving, you (or at least, I) have to pay attention and don't have much brainpower left for properly zoning out.

I like being closer to more things we can drive to, but not being able to walk to real shops and stores and restaurants takes some getting used to.

Maybe this is just a manifestation of the weird depression I seem to have been in lately. Can't seem to shake it. Don't want to sleep, don't want to do crap. I've been terminally bored for nearly a week now. It's a little early in the chilly season to be going through this—this was once what I expected to go through every February. Don't get me wrong, I'm not nearly as depressed as I once was, and it's been quite a while—years—since I've been even recognizably depressed... and this isn't nearly as bad as I've been in the past. I can handle a general lethargy. It's just pushing through it, when I know that it has no reasonable cause and no foreseeable cure, that's the trouble.

Nothing New To Report

It's been a few days, so I figured I'd check in with my faithful readership.

On the stiff neck front: it no longer hurts everywhere, but one or two muscles are still stiff. It doesn't bother me that much, though, and another good hot shower and a nice long night's sleep may make it better. That, and not playing on the computer all hours of the night.

On the job-hunting front: Designski never got back to me. I submitted my updated resume to Thread on Friday afternoon/evening, and have yet to hear anything beyond the standard autoreply e-mail. Just checked the Sunday Blade classifieds online, and the only thing even remotely close was a graphic design and vinyl cutting job op. Must be for a sign maker somewhere in town.

In other news: I keep having bad dreams that someone is going to spill to Aaron what I'm doing for his birthday. It'll still be a good present, even if he finds out what it is ahead of time... but I really hope he doesn't. And if you know about it, don't post anything damning here, because he does read my blog. ;-)

Skipped out on Sunday's LakeShoremen banquet, mainly because 1.) the main course was pizza, with the remainder being potluck style (read: Aaron and I would be eating salad and nothing else), and 2.) the venue is two hours and fifteen minutes from here. This is also where all the rehearsals will be held for the 2005 season, which makes me a little unhappy. I'm planning to go to the first few rehearsals, see how the drive is, see how happy I am with the membership and the music and getting to really march again. If the drive and the mental payoff don't equal out, I'm turning in my mello. I mean, really. That's farther than driving to Cleveland.

In other news: MY GOD, PEOPLE, EITHER LEARN TO SPELL OR USE YOUR SPELLCHECK. Professionals look like complete idiots when they misspell words like "preform" or "there" or "your" or some such thing. Good Christ. The common layperson writing a random "tommorow" or using the wrong "its" can be excused... but for God's sake, people, proofread the copy that's going to the printer for a mass-media run! I know I'm the queen of finding the spelling error / typo, but I know I'm not the only one who catches this sort of thing.

Oh, and my printable Imation CD-Rs from Amazon were actually non-printable Spin-X CD-Rs, according to the two incorrect items I've received. I'm apparently getting a refund and a $5 coupon off my next order. So, so annoying. The question now is, do I want to try to find some other brand of printable CD-R on Amazon, or do I give it up and just order another Muppet Show DVD?

Catching Up

Just got off the phone after talking with Carolyn for over an hour. (Aaron - we're going to have a large long-distance call to West Salem on our next phone bill.)

It's amazing how much we've both grown up, yet we can still relate to one another. It's partially an age thing—both married with a new house, both age 28 (she'll be 29 two months before I will). But some of it still a personality and interest thing—both interested in the arts at some point and in some form, both in "boring" jobs we never thought we'd end up in.

I also think we've both gotten to be better communicators over the years. She may have been holding back, but her humor didn't seem as caustic as it once was, and I know I didn't hold back anything like I might have at one time—if I had a question, I just asked it, to hell with propriety. "How much did you pay for your house?" "Are you breastfeeding?" That sort of thing.

Sounds like she'd be quite excited to see me at their shower on the 30th, so I think I'm going to try to make it out there. I don't know if Aaron will be up for making a day of it, even if I drive out for the first leg of the trip. Either with or without Aaron, though, it'd be good to see Carolyn again.

Stiff Necks and New Babies

I wish I knew what I did last night that made me wake up with such a stiff neck. Goddang. I could barely turn my head to check my blind spot while driving to work this morning; by lunch, my neck muscles were sore from holding my head up. They felt almost sprained, I swear. I took a couple Excedrin QuickTabs from Scott, my cube-mate... nasty, nasty stuff, and they have 65mg of caffeine, but they seem to work. Not only did my neck muscles get just a touch less painful, but I also got quite wired and talkative and happy and smiley. Damn... oughta caffeinate myself more often. As Aaron and I said last weekend: with our abstinance from caffeine and sugar of late, we're really cheap dates. :-)

Anyway, when I came home, I took Aaron's advice and spent some quality time on the couch with Harry Potter and a heating pad. My neck's feeling better now, just a little tense—hopefully I don't do whatever I did last night while I'm asleep tonight. Sheesh.

In other news, my middle-school friend Carolyn had her first child last week! The new baby pics almost got deleted in my Gmail spam folder, but I recognized one of the e-mails as being from Carrie's mom, Candy, and marked it as Not Spam. Glad I rescued that one.

You know, I haven't seen Carrie for years, and we've had a weird relationship at times (we've both got warped senses of humor that don't always jive with each other); but for some reason, I'm happier for her than I've been for any new parent I can think of offhand. I'm not rejecting the emotion—I'm just perplexed by my reaction, given the years and miles between.

later: On the same day as Carolyn's baby shower in West Salem (aka BFE), there's a Pietasters concert at the Grog Shop in Cleveland. If we were to do both, which would require me dragging Aaron out to a girlie-giggles baby open-house in the middle of nowhere where he knows literally no one but me, it would be:

2 hours from Toledo to West Salem
Open House at Carrie's from 2pm to 5pm
(likely arriving closer to 3:30 or 4pm)
1 hour to Cleveland Heights
(with dinner somewhere en route)
Doors at 9pm at the Grog Shop - three opening bands before the Pietasters even go on
2 hours from Cleveland Heights home to Toledo

But part of me really wants to do that, despite the fact that Aaron's not too keen on the NE Ohio BFE area, having seen part of it once before and having been bored out of his freaking skull. But I'd love to see Burbank again, the half-mile-square village where I spent my junior high years. It's not much... at all... but I'm curious if the tenants of our old house have dug up Mom's lavender after 15 years. They hadn't the last time Mom and I happened to drive by, when I was in college.

Just the thought of getting off at Exit 204 off I-71... seeing how they've straightened out the S-curve into town that used to scare the living shit out of everyone who gave me and my Mom a ride home... seeing how the town has (or hasn't) grown... whether the old Variety Store is still there (restaurant, bar, grocery, video store, and library, all in one)... driving past the city park... Then driving further north up I-71 through Medina... It's really giving me the weirdest sense of nostalgia. Kind of happy, kind of depressed. Kind of anxious to see, kind of anxious to avoid the experience.

Again, I don't understand my reaction here.

Silly Me

I fired up IM for the first time in ages... and forgot to put up my Away message when I went upstairs to read Harry Potter. D'oh! And, of course, Sheryl and Beth IM'ed me while I was reading, and my speakers weren't turned up loud enough for me to hear.

*shakes head*

Silly Diana. Now I'm bored again and still I have no one to talk to...

:: yawn ::

Feeling kind of blah this evening. Not sure why. Figured writing about it might dissolve it some.

Normal day at work. I was on phones, which is always fun (*scoff*), especially while working on modifications, which I've only recently learned how to do. Ambivalence ran high today, broken only by a glimmering moment of appreciation when my supervisor recognized my two years of service with a Gotcha Card. And after I'd bitched on here about no one noticing, too.

I accompanied Aaron to Target this weekend so he could purchase some new clothes that actually fit: size 34 jeans, extra-large T-shirts and sweaters and jacket. I believe I now own his old size 40 jeans, for reference, and all his old XXL sweaters fit him like friggin' dresses. Now he's looking svelte in his new skinnier duds.

I bought myself a new pair of dress pants for work. Size 18—which is still big, sure, but it's better than the 20's and 22's and (yikes!) 24's that I had been wearing. It's amazing how much better it feels to wear clothes that fit properly.

Visited Aaron's grandarents in Lakewood (Cleveland) on Saturday afternoon. Poppa is doing well after his quadruple bypass surgery of a few months back, and says he's going to buy us a chest freezer for a housewarming gift. That's awesome, on both counts.

Planning to start reading the second Harry Potter book tonight before bed. Those books are like crack. I shouldn't be reading them before bed—it tends to push back my bedtime to about 1:00am.

Not much else to report. I could probably go up and think about going to bed right now, if it weren't so depressing to have watched my day slip by so fast. As it is, I'll likely end up skulking at my computer for a while, then realizing how tired I really am and plodding up to bed. Or maybe I'll read a magazine—that would be a little healthier than basking in the radioactive glow of my monitor.

Yeah.

A Good Evening

Good things were to be had in my Gmail this evening. It was difficult to decide which thing to get all giddy about first...

I ended up looking at all four rolls of lomographs on Snapfish—not from any conscious decision to look at the photos before completing my Amazon shopping spree, but from the fact that I just get sucked into photography easier than I do shopping. (Am I an abnormal female because of this? Who knows...) Anyway, I'll post my better lomographs tonight for all to see. (And I'll add to my lomohome.)

On to the next exciting piece of Gmail: my Amazon gift certificate. w00t! I never imagined I'd get to go on an Amazon shopping spree, so this is pretty frickin' sweet. Coming to me mid- to late next week are:

• Epson Stylus R200 Photo Printer
• Kodak Premium Picture Paper, High Gloss, 100 sheets
• Epson Heavyweight Matte Paper, 50 sheets
• Hauppauge WinTV-PVR-250 capture card
• Carlo Robelli Acoustic-Electric Guitar
• Tubular Guitar Stand

And I still have about $80 left to spend! I'm sure I'll think of something. Like, oh, all the Muppet Show DVDs I've been wanting, or the Indiana Jones DVD box set, or I could fill out my CD collection. There's still a lot I could buy with eighty bucks!

Sheryl, I think this is where my frugal, thrifty side is coming in quite handy... ;-)

SSDD

Hmm. Seems I had more to write about when I was journaling longhand in addition to blogging. Now that I'm reading The Stand instead of jotting down all my daily blah, all I can think of to write here is said daily blah.

Finally got my SuperCertificate from Sky today! Only thing is, I was looking forward to buying my stuff NOW, when in reality I have to wait up to 24 hours for my order to process and for me to get my Amazon.com gift certificate. Oh, well... in the meantime, at least I can play with the cool new Fender amp that Aaron bought.

Went to Meijer during lunch yesterday to buy cold medicine. Failed to buy the non-drowsy variety. Took it at work anyway and felt my fingers become cottony fluff as I tried to type all afternoon. Don't worry—it wore off by the time I had to drive home. :-) I'm feeling better today, though, especially after yesterday's after-work marathon napping session.

So, um... yeah. Good times.

Let's Hear It For Personal Days

Mom stopped by today on her way down to Texas. Yep, I took the day off and had a couple few hours of quality Mom time before she continued on her move South. I guess Gary still hasn't closed on the house, and their stuff is living in his parents' garage. (They live a mile away from the soon-to-be new homestead.) Anyway, Mom is planning to drive down to Texas over a span of about three days, after which she'll join Gary in staying with his parents until they can find a mortgage broker that is willing to work with their credit. (Yikes.)

I've pretty much finished tweaking my portfolio page, although there are still a few things I'd like to add. As it is, if the nice folks at HR happen to look at my portfolio (hi, guys!), I won't be embarrassed about it. Which is a good thing in a job hunt.

As predicted, tweaking my portfolio site helped me remember all the cool shit I used to do (when I had more access to expensive software and hardware). Even better is the fact that I can tell where my shortcomings were in some of the pieces I've posted, which means I haven't gone rusty from being out of the academic environment for almost three years.

Doesn't it figure, though—on my day off, when I was spending time with my Mom and tweaking my portfolio and hanging out at home with Aaron, I was also experiencing the beginnings of a pretty righteous cold. Now I have to go to work tomorrow with a nose like a faucet. Great.

Hey, HR? If you're reading this, you might want to hold off and just do a phone interview or something until I get this cold under control. For your sake. :-)

Honing My Journaling Skillz

I've been bringing a spiral-bound sketch notebook to work in my purse, so that if I opt not to read my book, or if I have a brainstorm, I can sit in the breakroom or outside at the picnic table and write. I have yet to decide whether it's had sort of the William Gibson blogging vs. writing effect:

I?ve found blogging to be a low-impact activity, mildly narcotic and mostly quite convivial, but the thing I?ve most enjoyed about it is how it never fails to underline the fact that if I?m doing this I?m definitely not writing a novel ? that is, if I?m still blogging, I?m definitely still on vacation. I?ve always known, somehow, that it would get in the way of writing fiction, and that I wouldn?t want to be trying to do both at once. The image that comes most readily to mind is that of a kettle failing to boil because the lid?s been left off.

Or, perhaps, my daily longhand journaling has helped me focus my thoughts and write more coherent entries—like practicing for a performance. I find that I write things there that I really couldn't write here: naming names, for instance, or talking about my poop cramps, or just generally complaining about how tired or bored I am during the day. These things may or may not be interesting even to my closest friends, and may or may not get me into trouble if the wrong people read them.

*flipping through recent writing*

OK, here's a sample of today's longhand journal entry:

17 September 2004 | 10:33am
Sky Bank Arrowhead Service Center Break Room

I'm in a particularly foul mood today, and I'm not sure why. I know I'm tired, and part of me resents being here when a third of the department is off today. I can tell I'm still unreasonably pissed about [work event deleted]—but that was two days ago. I should be over it by now. I'm also kinda hungry, and munching on my sugar-free wafers isn't doing much to help that. And I'm pissed off at myself for being ignorant about things, and having to ask questions in the first place. Which is asinine—how am I to know things I just don't know? I have to ask to learn. I still hate having to bug people—because I know I am.

In general daily news, I still haven't gotten an e-mail about my lomo photos from Snapfish, and I still haven't gotten my gift certificate e-mail from Sky. *tired sneer*

Time For Bed

I hate it when I get to this point in the evening. I feel like if I go to bed now, I would be giving up some quality time, and would just bring myself a few hours closer to going to work again—but I'm really too tired to do anything useful.

Holy Shit!

This is possibly the only time I've reloaded my browser at the end of one of my auctions—and literally jumped back from the screen, thrown my hands up, and exclaimed, "Holy shit!"

Being Predictable

Finish this sentence: "People who really know me can count on me to..."

Is your first thought a positive one? Because it doesn't have to be.

I've been contemplating this today, especially considering this weekend's checkbook-balancing debacle. Aaron wasn't entirely surprised when I almost bounced a check or two—in fact, he'd jokingly berated me about my checkbook register habits not a day before I discovered my big whoopsie. (That's how he calls my attention to something that bugs him: he jokes about it.)

I feel like I'm known for the things I'll screw up. I'm known for procrastination to the extreme; for leaving dirty dishes to pile up unchecked for unhealthy periods of time; for leaving my clean clothes in the basket or on the floor; for having piles of papers stacked around my desk; for never unpacking boxes of random crap that I've been moving around since college; for staying up too late and sleeping too long; for being late (or almost-late) to work... and the list goes on.

Of course, I guess I'm also known for having relatively spiffy web designs and taking good photographs. I hope I'm known for telling it like it is, in a lighthearted and tactful way. I was once known for using really long words in conversation, and I'm still known for being able to spell them all.

Still, though, it's troublesome to know that these more negative things are thoroughly expected of me. Even more disturbing is the fact that I've been trying to change these aspects of myself for years and years. How many times do I have to go on a self-improvement kick before something finally sticks in my thick skull?

And how long before I realize that beating myself up over my faults doesn't make them go away?

My Incompetence Is Infuriating

*fuming*

Aren't bank employees supposed to be able to balance their own fucking checkbooks? Yes?

No.

Not me, who forgot to record the PayPal purchase of two class reunion tickets, made a ten-dollar math error, forgot to record my $30 NSF (non-sufficient funds) fee resulting from said math error, and still had to adjust my checkbook for over $20 I couldn't find. Not me, who is now over $50 in the hole—and that's after transferring funds from my savings.

I'm OK for now; we just can't mail off our car payment just yet. It's not due for another week, though, so we're OK.

*runs off to root through box of eBay-ables*

Gmail Invitations At Large

So, I just checked my Gmail account, and the thingy said:

I know Kris Heath, Eric, and Sheryl are already on the bandwagon, and I already sent invites to Mark and Amy, but the next four people to post a comment get a Gmail invitation. I'm feeling generous... and I don't know of anyone else who might want one. Beth? Anyone?

Radioactive Pee

From: Diana Schnuth
Sent: Wednesday, September 01, 2004 10:28 AM
To: 'Aaron R. Schnuth'
Subject: hey

You may find this amusing... Yesterday evening, I had that headache, so I went to take some Meijer-brand Tylenol or whatever we had. Somewhere in my brain, I thought that since my girlie meds were downstairs in the kitchen, so was the tylenol. So I inadvertently took three vitamins instead of three tylenol. :-) Then I wondered why my pee was so bright yellow later on, when all I?d taken was Tylenol. It wasn?t until this morning when I thought to actually take a vitamin that I realized what I?d done. Heh. And, no, my headache didn?t go away last night for some time, and I wondered why.

OMFG.

This is classic, in a twisted sort of way.

OMG?

My middle school choir director is now a tinsmith? WTF?

Incidentally, Mr. G. was my first really big crush. It resulted in some of the most awkward middle school moments possible, especially considering a.) middle school / junior high is an awkward time, anyway, and b.) I was never all that good at social interaction?until college, at least. I'm still embarrassed about some of the stuff I did and said, even though I was a pubertizing little freak at the time.

I sent him an e-mail just now, to say hello. I didn't ask if he remembered who I was. I didn't want to know.

Things That Are Fucking Cool

1.) Inadvertently discovering the homemade Mocha Delight, a lá Grounds For Thought (minus the caffeine & sugar):
+ one cup Meijer fresh-ground decaf
+ one shot Sugar-Free DaVinci Irish Cream syrup
+ one packet Splenda
+ one splash cream
+ one dash cinnamon (very important!)

OMFG so good.

2.) Watching the four live Pixies songs broadcast on the BBC. I cannot wait to see them in November. This show is going to be fucking killer. I may cry. Chalk up the upcoming Pixies concert in the Things I Never Thought I Would Ever Get To See In My Lifetime category.

Preparing for the Annual Mom Visit

This is not just a typical Mom Visit I'm preparing for. If it were, I'd just have to figure out what we were doing this weekend besides taking pictures at the Zoo. As it is, we're road tripping to the Dayton area to visit Grandpa and Grandma Cook in Centerville on Saturday, and Amy in Union on Sunday. The trip was Mom's idea, even the Amy part, which I think is really cool. Yeah.

Anyway, since we're visiting the grandparents, I'm sure that the majority of the conversation on Saturday will revolve around genealogy—so I have to get my genealogy hard-copy in order. Now, I would much rather have a laptop or something with my genealogy files on it so I could just show them how I've compiled all the census records and death certificates and such into each family's story, almost... but alas, Grandpa appears to be technophobic and refuses to learn how to use a computer. So, the genealogy research is reduced to the facts and documents I've unearthed online and via mail order. Grandpa always reveals some random stories and family info that Mom and I hadn't known before, though, so I'm sure it'll be fun, anyway. I'm also planning to bring the digital camera and attempt to photograph some of Grandpa's family photos, and maybe some headstones if we go cemetery-hopping. We'll see how that works out.

OK, gotta reorganize all the censuses and shit strewn around the basement, and then go to bed.

Cutest actor ever

Cary Elwes

Cary Elwes in the late 80's & early 90's

My God, what happened to Cary Elwes? What a difference 15 years makes...

I miss the fluffy floppy "skater do" that the "cute" boys used to have. ::dreamy sigh:: :-)

Cat 2, Plants 0

I was sitting downstairs, checking my e-mail and reading my daily blogroll, when I heard the unmistakable sound of something falling onto the floor. Since it's just me and the cat, it could only have been a.) the cat being a dumbass, or b.) gravity taking hold of some random poorly-placed object. Mentally voting for option a.), I jogged up the stairs to see what the cat did.

Remember that begonia the cat whiffed the top off of a couple weeks back? Yeah. Well, I found the rest of it on the floor of the Media Room / Library, along with a good quarter-pound of freshly-watered Miracle-Gro.

At least she didn't break the pot.

The good news is that I got to see that the remains of the begonia does in fact have living roots. Hopefully they'll stay that way in their newly-repotted-after-being-unpotted state. And in further good news, the top of the begonia (living in a vase in the kitchen window) is beginning to sprout feathery little roots.

The best part of all? Storming around the house like a raving lunatic, chasing the cat with a spray bottle.

Home alone on a Friday night

Ehh. Part of me wants to do nothing but websurf, and part of me is totally bored with it and wants to leave the computer and do something else. Part of me is perfectly content to listen to the Twilight Singers album I just downloaded. (Amazon recommended the album, but I'm sure they intended me to actually purchase it.)

Part of me wants to be creative. To write, maybe. Part of me wants to read, but isn't interested in either of the books I'm currently reading. (LOTR won't fit in the purse, so I'm reading a McCaffrey book at work and leaving the Tolkien for just before bed.) Part of me is tempted to go pick up the guitar, but knows that I'd be frustrated after only ten minutes of playing the few chords I know, mainly because my fingertips would feel like hamburger already.

So, I don't know. Maybe I'll turn off the music and play some Civ III. I really don't feel like watching TV or going to bed yet.

::sigh::

Yoga Makes Me Feel Good

After reading sheryls' journal, where she points to this article about weight-loss that you really should read, I decided that I needed to start back up on a regular regimen of physical activity. (So, what else is new?) I ended up doing my Yoga for Dummies Workout DVD... and man, that feels good. My arms and legs are kind of wobbly—a little tired from holding up my still-oversized frame in unusual positions—but it's that good kind of stretchy I-just-worked-out feeling.

Speaking of feeling good about things: holy crap, can you believe the weather?! Sure, it's overcast, kinda, but I don't think it got about 70° today. Feels like October in August—not that I'm complaining. Awesome, awesome weather. I went out to get some Arby's for lunch today and didn't want to go back inside.

My brain wandered onto this thought today at work: Am I narcissistic? I don't think so, but I have a strange predilection for poring over photographs and reflections of myself. Sometimes I think I look pretty good, and other times my gorge rises at how large my double-chin once was or how big my thighs still are. It all depends on my mood, I think. Either way, I don't think I'm obsessed with my looks—not by a long shot. I just find it weird that my own reflection can keep me captivated like a first-grader for minutes at a time.

Now I'm off to rate more stuff on Amazon, so that it'll give me better stupid ads and recommendations. :-)

Black Background = Evil and Hurty to my eyes

I hate reading websites with lots of white type on a black background. (Not like yours, Aaron—I'm talking about this one in particular.) It makes my eyes do that spotty thing like I've been staring at a light or at the sun, except it's stripes instead of spots, and it really fucks me up.

That said, I'm going upstairs to read and go to sleep. ::pause:: —Read? Hmm.

What Is This Song?!

All I've got is part of the chorus: "You've... got... me... runnin' arouuuuund in circles, runnin' arouuuund in circles, runnin' around in—"

I think it's one of those lesser-known 90's tunes, but that's all I can remember of it! I've tried Amazon/CDNow, I've tried Google, I've tried the Ultimate Band List, and nothing's helping. I thought I had it, and I downloaded a tune called Getting Nowhere by Into Another, but that wasn't it at all.

Anyone got any ideas?

Belated GIP

I am genuinely disappointed that no one has yet commented on The Pink Pig! I mean, really! His skin is a crunchy treat!

Incidentally, The Pink Pig was scanned from a bag of Meijer store brand pork rinds—since discontinued, I am sorry to say. Anyway, Aaron was trying to cajol me into eating some pork rinds one day and came up with the phrase, "My skin is a crunchy treat!" It's been a catch phrase for pork rinds ever since.

Rest in peace, Pink Pig! In your absence, the newly-redesigned Meijer packaging will still silently say to us, "My skin is a crunchy treat!"

Back to the Grind

You know you're a LiveJournal enthusiast (for lack of a better word) when life events prompt your husband to comment, "Well, at least this will make a good story for your LiveJournal later!"

What prompted this comment, you might ask? How about driving all over freaking Toledo looking for something so simple as photo album pages? All I wanted was a couple packs of damn album pages. Non-magnetic, clear pages that would fit three 4x6 prints on a side. Aaron and I struck out at Meijer, Wal-Mart, K-Mart, Taylor Photo, Office Max and Target. I mean, jeebus! How asinine! None of these places carry the right damn photo pages?! *rolls eyes*

I finally ordered them from B&H online, along with some photo storage boxes I'd been wanting... but I'm sure I paid more with shipping and all.

The need for photo pages arose after the realization that I hadn't put any photos in my photo album since Halloween. That's nine whole months. Hello, slacker! So, I went through my overstuffed photo box (here again, note the need for those storage boxes I ordered) and located everything that had happened since October 2003. That would include Christmas, moving into the new house, getting Mei, visiting Fort Meigs, Fourth of July fireworks, and the Ann Arbor Art Fair. I have a stack of photos about half an inch thick that finally have names and dates written on them, but no homes. Bah. (And that doesn't include the ones that don't make it into the album—I'm more discerning about that sort of thing than I once was.)

And in other news, today is the final day of my vacation. Aaron still has all this week off of work, but I go back tomorrow morning. I guess I don't really dread going back to work, but I'm certainly not excited about it. As Aaron says, I finally got to feeling like a normal human being again. It kind of gives me a teeny tiny taste of what it might be like to be retired.

Pretty pathetic, I know, dreaming of retirement before we've even had kids, but still... I guess if you don't want to work for The Man, though, your only options are a.) start a successful business, b.) own a farm, or c.) win the lottery / receive an inheritance. Those options don't include d.) become homeless (like my uncle), or e.) go on welfare (like my Mom when I was really little), since I don't currently consider those viable alternatives.

And as follow-up: I'm currently trying to purchase a lomo on eBay, though my patience is being sorely tried. I want my new toy now, dammit! I don't want to have to wait and snipe an auction tomorrow night! Gah!

*deep breath* I'm OK now... I just want my lomo. I'm excited.

Bad Plant Day

It all started when I saw that my jade plant was much, much wiltier than usual. It had been getting a little wilty lately, so I'd stopped watering it, having recognized the early stages of stemrot. (The jade is a succulent, related to the cactus, and can't handle overwatering.) And, sure enough, when I checked it today, the stemrot was in full force. Damn plant couldn't stand up on its own at all, the almost-trunk was papery-dry on the outside and empty on the inside—all rotted out. Damn.

So, I sat down and yanked the damn plant out of its pot, removing the rotted parts from the still-healthy parts. Currently, the healthy parts are sitting on top of the microwave stand so they can be repotted later. I'll leave them sit for a few days, to grow a callus where the roots will be, then I'll repot them and attempt not to kill them again. As I seem to do every few years.

With that crisis handled, I went upstairs to water the remainder of my plants, only to find that the cat had been up on the plant table and had severed my barely-recovered begonia right under the healthy, leafy part. It was only just getting used to being potted, and was finally beginning to stand up on its own and bloom again. Damn cat managed to pop off the top, where all the leaves were resprouting and the one bloom was just budding. Now, I was already pissed off at myself for having given my jade stemrot, so woe be unto the cat if she even sets foot in the same room with me today. She's already discovered this, and is giving me a wide berth. Anyway, I took the decapitated begonia top downstairs and put it in a vase to sprout roots again.

Now, on to the outdoor plants. The coriander is just about dead, the dwarf hydrangeas are definitely dead, there are bugs eating my rosebush, my lavender isn't blooming and neither is my rock cress or baby's breath, and my pearlwort, while having spread mightily since May, is now looking brown and icky in spots.

Fucking plants. Why do I even bother?

Lazy Days

Yesterday was a moderately lazy day. We got up, ate lunch, looked for garage sales, did a little thrifting, and watched a matinee of Fahrenheit 9/11. Great movie—if you haven't seen it, you should. I never considered myself a "swing" voter; more of an apathetic one. This year, though, I'm definitely going out to vote, no matter what I once said (oh, about four years ago) about the electoral college.

This afternoon, Aaron is over at Kris Heath's apartment, helping him install Windows XP. See, Kris doesn't believe in paying for antivirus protection, apparently, and his computer got royally screwed by various viruses and spyware programs. He managed to get it back up and running well enough to back up all his mp3's, I think, but most of his applications are corrupted and too screwed up to function. So, Aaron's over at Kris's place, helping him install a new OS. *shakes head*

Meanwhile, I'm here at home, chillin'. About to clean out the cat box, and balance my checkbook, and maybe put some of my clothes away, and put some photos in the photo album.

Yeah... life is good.

Just One More Thing...

I'm awfully prolific with the posts tonight.

Anyway, I just searched out and located a ZIP file with WAVs of the coverage of the Hindenburg crash of 1939. I'd never heard the whole thing through—just the reporter sobbing, "Oh, the humanity!" But, listening to the whole thing, it's really fascinating to hear an example of radio reporters' ability to convey what they saw verbally. The listener can almost see the majestic airship coming in and being tethered to the ground—then, after its grand transatlantic flight, suddenly bursting into flames.

The guy really loses it, too. I believe Aaron told me that journalists and reporters, especially back then, were expected to report factually and unemotionally, and that this particular man's reaction to the scene lost him his job. Seriously, though—he's almost sobbing uncontrollably and babbling by the end of the clip. I can see why they fired him, devastating though the scene was.

If you're interested in hearing it yourself, you can download the ZIP here. Also interesting is the blurb that comes in the text file packed with the ZIP files: "This file contains WAV files of the most compelling moments of the famous Hindenburg Crash Radio broadcast of 1939.  They make for interesting Windows Startup sounds."

What a fine disregard for history.

omg. OMG. Huh?

Do medical professionals really need a new invention for this? I thought Rabbi Tuckman did it fine with just his little guillotine...?

"Oh, I forgot—I already got one!"

Popular Culture

Why does TV suck? Why can I not turn on the tele at night and find at least one decent program to watch? It's all overdramatized gameshows or reality shows or home improvement / reality shows or makeovers or just crap. Have sitcoms always been completely stupid and I just didn't notice? When did I become a fan of 20/20?

Add this to my distaste for popular music, and I'm completely rejecting American pop culture in general. Skinny hos, talentless hacks, and stupid bimbos just don't keep my attention these days.

Potpourri

Like the Jeopardy category: snippets of random this-n-that I'm finding as I'm sifting through all my old Post-It® notes.

Quote from a 50-something woman in my old office to a 40-something: "You gotta get some old lady shorts! You can't be bending over there on the golf course and everybody can see Christmas...!"

Really bad joke from the Sky intranet:
Q: How do you keep a skunk from smelling?
A: Hold its nose.

And then there's this thought: I forget what class it was in, but I remember learning in college about the four levels of competence. First, you have Unconscious Incompetence: You don't know how to do a given thing, but you have no knowledge of it whatsoever, so you don't know that you don't know. Then there's Conscious Incompetence: You know what it is, but you also know that you don't know how to do it. After that, you have Conscious Competence: You know how to do it now, but you still have to think about it. (This is me in my new job right now.) Finally, there's Unconscious Competence: You know how to do the thing so well and thoroughly that you no longer have to think about it.  Learning my new job in Loan Corrections made me think of that.

Oh, and speaking of my new job, I was on phone duty for the second day today (my first day was Monday). I actually didn't mind it today, although it got annoying around 2:00 when I got call after call after call for a half hour straight. I learned new things today, too: I learned how to cut a loan refund check, and how to fix the billing schedule on a screwed-up loan, and all sorts of other stuff that I didn't know before (and would make you yawn). I actually felt like I had a good, enjoyable day... but that's probably just because I'm going on vacation after tomorrow. Whee!

Speaking of, does anybody know of a good place to camp? I think Aaron and I were looking at Harrison Lake, Maumee Bay State Park, or Mohican. Neither of us have been camping in years, either (outside of Amy's and my ill-fated October camp-out with the girls on our floor in Kohl). We have no outdoor cooking implements (well, I think we have metal skewers) and only a couple crappy flashlights. Of course, we do have our one sleeping bag (I don't know where mine is, but we have Aaron's), and our new-last-year-at-the-wedding tent, and our two folding camping chairs.

I think that pitching the tent will be a test of our ability to work together. :-)

Make New Friends But Keep The Old...

I've heard a theory about friendships. I forget where I initially heard it, but it basically says that all friendships happen for a reason. Not in the sense of Fate or God, but in the sense that you and your friend are drawn together at a given point in both your lives for some interpersonal reason. Maybe your need to loosen up leads you to be friends with a nutty kind of gal. Maybe you and/or the other person can't seem to find anyone else willing to befriend you. Maybe you're drawn to someone with a common interest. Or maybe your individual personalities at that point in time just complement one another perfectly.

In each of these cases, the friendship can either grow to a dimension beyond the initial reason why you got together, or you can simply "grow out" of the friendship. In the latter case, the friendship isn't (or shouldn't be) cheapened or considered less meaningful than the longer-term ones; after all, it was what you both needed at the time. People grow and change, as do relationships, and you can't expect that things will always be the same. Or that you would want them to be.

I know that some of my readership (all four or five of you; I can hear you breathing) is going through the same phase as I am: either growing out of friendships and acquaintanceships, or realizing that the relationship was over long ago and you didn't even notice or care. Some old friends I try to maintain contact with, but then say to myself, "I don't know you anymore." Some friends try to keep touch with me, and I wish they'd go away, but I don't dare burn bridges. And some friends just don't answer me back anymore...

I've never had very many good friends at once, though. The fact that I currently have several people I feel I could confide in if necessary (or who could confide in me) is as much a blessing as an agnostic can have in her life. :-) So, thanks, guys. Even though Amy and Aaron will always be my two best friends (I'm not stepping on any toes here; you all knew that), I love all you guys.

In the most platonic way possible.

Micro-preemie = kitten-sized. Wow.

I've been finding some fascinating stuff off of BoingBoing lately. This one is a big heartwrencher—scroll to the bottom of the page and read from the beginning of the ordeal to get the full effect.

Am I turning into a big sap? I hope not...

Peel Me Off This Velcro Seat And Get Me Movin'

First: After a little reflection on my part, I'd like to apologize for the fact that my blog is not a collection of well-constructed essays, such as the blogs I myself like to frequent. I feel like my pre-LJ blog may have been a touch more coherent, but I must admit that having an LJ client instead of entering my journal entries straight into Dreamweaver seems considerably more convenient to me. One of these days, I'll need to do a redesign and make my page more dynamic and less static. Until then, though, you're stuck with my iFrames and my ranting LJ entries.

Today was another one of those two-hour-nap-after-the-news days. I've heard it said that you can't really "catch up" on sleep; all I know is that, when I've only had six hours of sleep the night before, a nap just happens. It isn't really planned. Which tells me that maybe I needed it.

I finished my compilation The 90's: Volume 2 last night. It doesn't have as much OMG-I-haven't-heard-that-song-in-forever impact as Volume 1 did, but is more of a collection of the most-played (and perhaps overplayed, but not necessarily hated) songs of the early to mid-1990's. This time, to make things just a little programmatically easier for me, I arranged the tracklist in (roughly) chronological order:

1. Nine Inch Nails: Terrible Lie (1989)
2. The Black Crowes: Hard to Handle (1990)
3. Nirvana: Come As You Are (1991)
4. The Lightning Seeds: Pure (1990)
5. Screaming Trees: Nearly Lost You (1992)
6. XTC: Ballad of Peter Pumpkinhead (1992)
7. Del Amitri: Always the Last to Know (1992)
8. Weezer: Undone (The Sweater Song) (1994)
9. Sponge: Plowed (1994)
10. Stone Temple Pilots: Vasoline (1994)
11. Green Day: Longview (1994)
12. Soundgarden: Spoonman (1994)
13. The Nixons: Sister (1995) *
14. Goo Goo Dolls: Name (1995)
15. Alice in Chains: Heaven Beside You (1995)
16. Spacehog: In the Meantime (1995)
17. The Wallflowers: One Headlight (1996)
18. Faith No More: We Care a Lot (1996)

I think I may try for one more album of early 90's before I start breaking all-out into the mid-90's (mainly '96 and '97). Once I do that, songs like Folk Implosion's Natural One and Oasis' Wonderwall and maybe some of the less-insipid Counting Crows and Hootie (now, now, I'm not ashamed to admit that I liked them back in '94 and '95, just like everybody else). Perhaps some more research on the 107.9 The End memorial site will be in order, in addition to digging out the mixtape I made from my college roommates' CD collections (Sara the Two-Week Roommate and Amy).

Maybe it's good that my all-time favorite radio station switched formats when it did. I would have hated to deal with the strange morphing of "modern rock" into what it is now, and have to listen to my favorite station play cutting-edge crap. What I need is an all-90's station. Heh—another couple mix CDs, plus my MTV Buzz Bin CD (which is actually pretty good), and I'll have an all-90's party mix for the CD changer. :-)

Blah Blah Bloopity Bloo™

Can't get excited about doing stuff at the computer. Can't seem to peel my ass off this chair. Guess I'll blog.

Today at work was my first day of manning the phones. Sky Financial Centers call the team line with loan questions and issues, and we (supposedly) answer them. I actually feel that I did fairly well. Sure, I had to put probably 70% of my callers on hold for a minute or five while I got the right answer for them, but for all but a few, I did finally get them the right answer. It wasn't nearly as nerve-wracking as I thought it would be. And everyone gave me a big "I told you so" when the day was over.

That's OK... tomorrow, Scott (the other new guy) gets to be on phones. :-P

*interrupted by Chase Manhattan Bank calling for Aaron*

(Bitch of it is, I think Aaron might actually have a Chase card—I know I do—so I couldn't really yell at the Indian dude I just dashed upstairs to answer.)

Perhaps later I'll detail all the housewifey things I did this weekend, and all the garage sale finds we scored. In the meantime, though, I will point all of you to Dooce's site. I know it's creepy to feel an almost-acquaintanceship with a complete stranger based upon her writing style and choices of subject, but Dooce here really seems like someone I'd be OK with. Even though she's a skinny ho. (And I use that in the kindest of ways. She doesn't actually look like a ho.)

I've gotta get up and do something else. Maybe I'll compile my latest CD project, The 90's: Volume 2, set that to burn, then go upstairs and do some yoga or read a magazine or play Tony Hawk or SSX3 or something. I've gotta do something. Blah.

OMG Ken Jennings Rocks

Not because he's won over one million dollars on Jeopardy. Not because he's the longest-running champ in the history of the program. Not because he's a Mormon.

Ken Jennings rocks because his good luck charm is Totoro.

Just like the one dangling in the Kia.

Ken Jennings, you rule.

Wow, That's Disturbing.

Never doubt the impact of a good advertising campaign.

Wonder Woman, Superman remixed in French anti-AIDS posters

These Are The Times To Remember

In contrast to last night's marathon theological websurfing, this evening I took a two-and-a-half hour nap in the recliner. So, not much to report there.

Oh, I was looking through one of my handwritten journals from 1997 last night, and found a printout from the old scale at the Woodland Small in BG. In November of 1997, I weighed 197 pounds. The scale said I was 35 pounds overweight, which I still think is a crock, considering my height and build. But, yeah, in another five pounds or so, I'll be at my seven-years-ago weight. (Good lord; I gained fifty pounds in seven years! That's disgusting.)

It's interesting reading my old journals. The really interesting ones are still at home in Parma (I hope), from high school and middle school and even elementary school. Chronicles of my tonsillectomy, the Challenger disaster, my crush on my 40-something middle school choir director, my annual February depression, joining high school band, getting college rejection letters, and everything in between. I was a seriously depressed kid; in today's terms, I might have even been put on medication (if my Mom had realized how depressed I was, that is. Either I hid it from her well, or she was completely in denial).

Is there a way to archive this LiveJournal stuff off of their server? Not that I want to jinx LJ, but I've never been comfortable having something important on a remote server without a backup. If I'm going to put my journaling online instead of in an actual journal (which I've found is much more fun, and just as cathartic, if a bit more topically restrictive), I want to have the option of backing it up without printing the whole damn thing out or just saving the HTML.

My stepdad, Tom, used to tell Mom that his journal was always open to her to read. She didn't feel the same about hers, and I think he respected her privacy in that. She just couldn't grasp the concept of having a non-private journal—to her (and to me, until recently), a journal was a place where you wrote things you couldn't tell anyone. Both of us were at our most prolific journaling when we were miserable, which is kind of unfortunate in retrospect. Makes it seem like our lives were simply unbearable, when in fact it was only certain stretches that were bad. The happy moments didn't always get chronicled, and the "normal" moment virtually never did.

That's one reason why I've been trying to write in my LJ fairly often, even if it's about nothing interesting: just to remind myself later what it was like to be "normal" in my late 20's. Once we have kids, Aaron and I, our lives are going to change forever—or for a sufficiently long time, anyway—and it'll be interesting to go back and remember what it was like to have lazy evenings sleeping in the recliner. :-)

edit: Oh, I figured out how to export my LJ as XML. I had to do it by month, but that's just as well, since that's how I would have wanted to do it, anyway. So, I now have backups of my entries, even though they don't seem to have paragraph or line breaks. D'oh!

My Banjo Is Wet.

snicked from Dan's sister Elizabeth:

You are Kermit the Frog.
You are reliable, responsible and caring.  And you
have a habit of waving your arms about
maniacally.

FAVORITE EXPRESSIONS:
"Hi ho!" "Yaaay!" and
"Sheesh!"
FAVORITE MOVIE:
"How Green Was My Mother"

LAST BOOK READ:
"Surfin' the Webfoot: A Frog's Guide to the
Internet"

HOBBIES:
Sitting in the swamp playing banjo.

QUOTE:
"Hmm, my banjo is wet."


What Muppet are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Random thoughts

Even though I marched two parades over the weekend, I'm still not sure how that, combined with eating three pieces of pizza, made me lose almost three pounds this week. ::shrug::

It's goddamned hot tonight. I'm even wearing one of my new tank tops from Fashion Bug (yay, $9.99 shirts!), and sitting in the basement, and I'm still sweltering. Yeesh. Aaron's gotta be having a fun time at work tonight.

I didn't have a whole lot I wanted to accomplish today, which is good, since I took another 90-minute nap this evening. —Oh, but I did want to boil some eggs. Hang on... I'll be right back.

*pauses Winamp, runs upstairs and puts eggs on to boil, sets timer*
*waters plants and takes ailing begonia upstairs to better window*

OK, I'm back. Damn, our stove is boil-a-rific. I'm not used to electric yet; this thing gets water boiling in, like, three minutes. Crazy. Must be one of those stoves Emeril talks about when he tells you to use your knobs.

Saturday night up in Michigan was actually quite a good time, watching drum corps videos and DVDs on a projection screen in Russ's garage in Clawson. Been a long, long time since I attended a drum corps party. This weekend, though, I'm planning to take a weekend off from corps instead of going up to the show in Kalamazoo. I've had enough of driving to Michigan for corps for a while. On August 7, I have to go up and carpool to Grand Haven for the Coast Guard parade and performance, stay up there overnight, and drive back on Sunday. I may take a personal day on that Monday, just so I feel like I've had a weekend. And before that, there's the Bluecoats' home show in Massillon (Canton). Since I'm skipping out on K-Zoo, I'm definitely going to that one, even though it's two hours away on a Sunday night. Hopefully I'll be able to get someone to go with me.

In other news, I have the last week of this month off. Yay, vacation! Aaron has it off, too, and the following week, as well. We still haven't figured out where we're going, although the consensus is that we want to use the tent we got for our wedding (and, no, we're not doing a backyard campout). Bring the lawn chairs-in-a-bag, the picnic basket (maybe), do some hiking, maybe some swimming... not sure where yet, though. Should be fun, anyway. I'm ready for a week off.

Hmm. Better go check on those eggs.

Same Old Shit

Again, not much to report. Finished looking up addresses at work and began changing them and printing out new envelopes for some of the more vital stuff (like titles and deeds and such). Not quite as tedious. Came home, ate dinner, watched the news, took a nap. Bought a magazine subscription from a black girl collecting points toward a scholarship. Talked to Beth over IM. Downloaded a pop-up blocker. Posted to LJ. That's my day, pathetic though it may be.

I think I'm going to start devoting one evening a week to photographing outdoors. I figure, maybe come home, hang with Aaron until he goes to work, eat a quick dinner, don't watch the news, and go out to one of the metroparks—maybe Wildwood or Swan Creek or even Oak Openings—for some evening photography. Burn off at least one full roll of film. Bring all the lenses I can, or go with a project in mind. Maybe make a list: landscapes, reflections, panning with rollerbladers and cyclists, close-ups, patterns, structures. Maybe go black-and-white one week, color another, and splurge on infrared another. (Oak Openings in infrared would be soooo cool with all the trees and foliage around the lake there.)

It seems that I now have seasonal hobbies. Photography in the summer, gardening in the spring, candles in the winter. Or maybe it's just per my whims, rather than per the seasons. That's probably closer to the truth.

Sorry that this LJ thing has become so... unfocused. For a while, I was being all introspective and philosophical with my entries, especially when I was just putting entries directly on my site, before I went to LJ; but now it's really become more of a "this is what I did today" thing. Not that my friends from faraway don't want to know what I'm up to, but... it just seems so... normal. I mean, if you look at LiveJournal entries, 90% of the LJs out there (not blogs in general: LiveJournals specifically) are about random daily crap. That's not what I want to read if I browse to a stranger's journal; I want to read about their thoughts and their philosophies and their weirdnesses. Of course, I'm like that. ::smirk::

I think that's all I've got for today.

Pretty boring day

Not much to report. After staying up late last night to submit my photos, I'm crashing pretty hard right now.

Spent most of the day at work researching missing or incorrect addresses on returned mail. I'm wagering that's what I'll be doing for most of tomorrow, too. Sometimes it's hard to be a conscientious worker when your given task sucks away your soul so much. I guess I'd rather do that, though, than answer phone calls—which I've heard I'm slated to do soon. Goodness, no. It's not that I don't want to talk to people; I've gotten better with that. It's that I don't even know half of what I should know to effectively assist banking centers (and the occasional random client). Ah, well. I know I've gotta start sometime.

Downloaded some more early-season drum corps mp3's this evening. One of them is a hack of a .wma file you can purchase from the DCI.org website—and in the middle of the show, during some applause, a voice comes in and says, "Support your local drum corps, you cheap bastard." I'm guessing the person who "hacked" it from wma to mp3 thought that would be funny. I think it's just gonna spell a few minutes of me editing some mid-show applause short.

Sorry today's been kind of boring. I just wanted to be sure to post something, now that I've kind of gotten in the habit.

For now, though, I'm really sleepy and I still have to shower and take some Tylenol to prevent the impending onset of overnight girlie cramps that will keep me awake most of the night. (Menfolk, you've really got it made, trust me.)

My cat has an extra footpad/toe thingy behind each of her front paws, making six toes, and a little bump even farther up that looks like it could have been a toe if it tried harder. Cat owners, check your kitty paws: is this normal? Did I just miss this on my other cats?

OK, I'm going now.

For a Good Cause...

Garrett, a stranger whose blog I frequent, is giving away many coveted Gmail accounts. All you have to do is donate $5 or more to the National Multiple Sclerosis Society, then forward your confirmation e-mail to Garrett, and you will be entered into a drawing for one of at least 36 (people keep donating more every day) Gmail accounts.

I don't know that I want a Gmail account, but I donated ten bucks to the MS Society, anyway. I think you should, too.

This Weekend: Catching Up and Catching Art

Feeling kinda funky. I think I ate too much low-carb ice cream. I hope it goes away, though, because Aaron and I haven't gotten it on in a while, and... ahem. TMI. Anyway...

Yesterday was my ten-year high school class reunion. It wasn't too bad, all told—I got to see some people I hadn't seen in years, mainly from choir and band. Matt was my main friend of the afternoon, although I tried really hard not to obviously follow him around like a puppy dog or anything. The only thing that was particularly disappointing was the fact that I still had a bit of a cold, and my hacking cough came back to haunt me multiple embarrassing times in the couple hours we were there. But, all in all, no one's changed too much (physically, anyway); most people are married and most of the married (or divorced) ones have a kid or two or three; a few people do have jobs that one could consider... worth a college degree, I guess. Sonya's a surgeon, Garrett's a pilot, Theresa's a operations manager for an advertising firm, Serafina's a teacher. I didn't catch what Jessica does, but Jim's in the seminary, Matt works for his dad's ATM business, and I work for a bank. But I'm happy, dammit. And that's all that matters.

Oh, and I didn't mention Atkins at all, because that would have required me to admit that I got really fat and sloppy over the past few years. I'd rather them all think I look almost the same as I did in high school, and leave it at that. :-)

Today, Aaron and I hit the Crosby Festival at the Botanical Gardens. Lots of great artists, awesome photography, neat sculpture, and nifty "plant rooters" made out of blown glass and copper wire. I almost bought one, but figured the cat would destroy it wherever it lived. I also discovered the Photo Arts Club at the Botanical Gardens. I'm definitely planning to join up—their next meeting is in October, though. Sounds like the kind of thing I need: pros and amateurs participating in discussions, outings, and informal photo contests on a monthly basis. Hey, Erk, you with me on this one? I could sure use a photo buddy...

Another Successful Adventure

Well, in preparation for tomorrow's Buckeye High School Class Reunion in beautiful Medina, Ohio, I felt the need to run some errands this evening. First, put a few bucks' worth of gas in the Contour (aka the running-errands-while-the-spouse-is-at-work car). Second, get money out of my checking account (preferably at a Sky ATM). Third, purchase some stuff from Meijer, including:

+ Jones soda (picnic is BYOB)
+ thermometer (one of those things you don't think of until you're sick)
+ more Meijer Non-Drowsy Severe Cold (you only get, like, two days' worth of meds!)
+ AA batteries (for the digital camera, noich)

This mission I accomplished with the navigational assistance of my husband, who told me before he left for work where I would need to turn to get where I needed to be. So, for the benefit of the Toledo-savvy (Sheryl and Aaron), I successfully went:

+ up South to Byrne to the Citgo on Byrne and Airport
+ up Byrne some more to Glendale, right turn, to the Sky Bank at Glendale and Cass
+ up Glendale some more, knowing Reynolds was up there somewhere, left turn toward Meijer
+ up Holland accidentally instead of Reynolds to get home, but it's just as well, since that's how I go home from work anyway, and I avoided the weird construction.

Amazing how simple things like navigating your relatively new hometown can bolster your self-esteem.

Yeesh. I really need to do something about that self-esteem, then.

Jealousy is an ugly thing

There comes a point, when admiring one's friends and their happiness and well-being, that one ceases to be happy for one's friends and begins to be unhappy for oneself.

Or, to put it in the vernacular: Damn, I'm jealous.

That is all.

Thunderstorms Lower IQ's Exponentially. News at 11.

It should NOT take me an hour to get home to Toledo from BG. It should not.

Now, I'll admit, I gladly drove 50 mph when I could barely see the SUV in front of me even with the wipers on high. But there were several places between the Lucas County line and home where traffic was slowed or stopped for no goddamned good reason.

As I was approaching the corner of Hill and Holland-Sylvania, just about 20 minutes after I would normally be home, I saw Aaron driving the opposite direction. I caught his eye—he was about to turn left onto the road I was on, and I was about to turn right onto the road he was on. We waved to each other, and as he turned left and drove past me, he warned, "Be careful—there's deep water down Hill," which was the road he'd just come from. I barely had time to yell "thanks" before he was gone.

And he was right. The most potentially treacherous part of my journey home was the least congested, and I felt perfectly fine going 15 mph or so through the almost-wheel-deep water.

But everyplace else—I-475, Airport and Holland-Sylvania, and my entire trip down Holland-Sylvania—WTF?! Get your heads out of your asses, people. It's just a thunderstorm.

Blast from the Past

Holy crap. I just got done with an hour-long IM conversation with Jamie. I was still on his buddy list, and he IM'ed me out of the freakin' blue.

I'm gonna be old and broke...

I've always joked around that I'll get my student loans paid off just about the time I retire. Sadly, it looks like that's not far from the truth. When you consider that my education cost just about half of what our house cost, and we'll have that paid off in another 30 years... If I keep paying $160 toward interest and $15 toward principal, that's about when I'll have my student loan paid off, too.

The good news, though, is that I have a pretty good start on my 401(k) plan. Just gotta stay with Sky for another three years to become fully vested and reap the rewards of the sweet, sweet profit sharing.

Not to be a financial evangelist, but considering that Social Security could well be defunct by the time we young'uns retire, I would highly recommend that you—yes, you—enroll in your company's 401(k) plan, if they have one. It's worth it to save early—I only put back $50 a month, and I've already got a pretty decent chunk of change in my plan. Might even keep Aaron and me sated for an entire month or two of retirement! :-)

Points to ponder...

They're Watching You...

...and they can see your house.

OMG.

So much to say...

...so little motivation to say it.

As I'm generally disinterested in posting today, I'll keep it (relatively) brief.

Aaron took Friday night off of work, just because. I like having my honey-muffin around.

Saturday night was Mark's gathering of friends and brohams, at which Aaron and I joined Mark's friends and UPS co-workers in games of Crokinole and Hearts. Hot dogs were grilled and eaten and low-carb beer was imbibed (though not by me). Overall, a very fun time. It made me realize how much I miss playing cards.

Sunday was the Bavarian Festival in Frankenmuth, where the LakeShoremen performed in the annual parade. I left the house at 8am to meet Russ and Barb at their place in Clawson (north of Detroit) at 9:15am. Took another hour and a half to get to Frankenmuth, had lunch, warmups started around 11:30-ish, parade step-off was at 1pm. Overcast all day except when we were marching in the parade. (Go fig.) Impromptu group photo after the parade, post-parade party after that, got to eat bratwurst and meatballs and sausage and all sorts of low-carb yummies. Finally got back home to Toledo at 7:30pm. Fell asleep on the couch by 10:30pm, and was whisked to bed by my honey.

Today, when I got home from work, I tried a new photo transfer technique I read in this month's Popular Photography & Imaging magazine. After a few paper jams and a few test prints, this was the result:

It reminded me of the Polaroid transfer technique Beth was telling me about some time ago. When I have a photo-quality color printer (or even just a color cartridge for our current printer), I'll have to try this again.

As a side note...

It's really weird to come across someone's images folder and surf through it. (Caution: Some adult content. Some disturbing content. Some random content in Italian.)

Carpe Diem

I would now like to apologize for being such a damn whiner in my last post.

I spent some quality time surfing around Tomato Nation and reading random long-forgotten personal sites in my bookmarks. Ended up reading Eric Schroeder's blog, and got an earful (screenful?) of what I needed:

its that time of the year again: time to LIVE. that's right, no more of this crap i'm doing now. you've heard the arguments before, but i'll present them again:

make it a day. why? today's not just any day. some people get married today. some people die. some have their first child. imagine having your firstborn son or daughter today! you'd always, always remember it as one of the happiest days of your life. so the fact that you're probably not having your first child today doesn't mean that you can't make today one of the most memorable and happy days of your life.

so live for it. don't let it pass you by. what can you say you did today? sit in an office, talk on IM, is that all? some people died today. and they don't have 'today' any more. sometimes i feel like i need to seize and take hold of today just out of respect for those who can't.

so make it a day. do something great. look at a calendar and know that you lived life to the fullest each day. don't fake your way through life. don't eek your way through life either. take it, grab hold, and live it.

So, enough whining. I have a kitty on my lap, music on my WinAmp, and friends on IM. All is right with the world.

Feh.

I don't know what my problem is. I feel all blah. To be a little more specific, I feel extremely bored and disconnected. I think my attempt at marathon websurfing is my brain trying to combat my disconnectedness.

FYI, my definition of "bored" isn't necessarily "there's nothing to do," but more of "nothing I can think of sounds good." I mean, I could go make some candles, or I could put my clothes away, or I could exercise or practice my mellophone, or I could try to find something on TV. I could even go eat. But none of that sounds good.

I feel physically bleh, too, which isn't helping. Either the Slim-Fast low-carb snack bars or the sugar-free Halls cough drop I had at work today acted (as promised) with a "laxative effect" —eww. Actually, it's more of a grumbly-gassy-slightly-queasy effect for me during the day, culminating in said final effect upon arrival home after work. On top of that, my lower back's been all funky and feeling out-of-place for the past couple of days (and nights); and, of course, once I got that all stretched out and cracked and popped and what-have-you, my left ankle / heel / Achilles tendon started feeling all funky and tight and making me limp. I have no clue what I did to make it do that. And the back of my neck/shoulder hurts, too, like something's grinding wrong. Oh, and don't forget the band-aids on my right thumb and left toe where I'm trying to finally stanch the wart epidemic I've been experiencing. (Don't worry, they're common warts. Says so on the Compound W box.)

Am I a freaking wreck, or what?

I'm gonna go find something to do. Hopefully. Blah. *sigh*

I Need More Reading Material

There's something pathetic about this. I just spent an hour surfing off of strangers' blogs and websites, looking for some new daily online reading material. I have about three friends who update their blogs regularly, and a couple strangers whose blogs/sites I find interesting. But I need... newness.

I enjoy being a bit of an online voyeur, reading about strangers' lives and tribulations and what-have-you—but only if said strangers have interesting web design skillz and the capability to write a coherent paragraph. This counts out anyone under the age of 19 (for the most part), anyone who regularly types in 1337 (that's "leet" for you non-geek-o-philes), or who uses "u r" or "cuz" or "wuz" or any such thing.

Strangers' sites I've located today (or previously) that I enjoy reading:
+ Maniacal Rage
+ etherf@rm
+ Authentic Boredom

And... um... that's it. I require more intellectual stimulus. Gah.

Yay, Quiz!

I don't usually do quizzes, but this one wasn't too stupid...

1. FIRST NAME: Diana

2. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE: Diana Prince, Wonder Woman's alter-ego. The story goes that Mom was pregnant, watching 70's TV, and Wonder Woman came on. She thought about it, and decided Diana was a pretty name.

3. DO YOU WISH ON STARS: No, but after I played the song "Moon" with the Bluecoats Drum & Bugle Corps, I was known to gaze at the moon for a few months and wonder what my corps-mates were doing.

4. WHICH RESTAURANT IS YOUR FAVORITE? Right now, Ruby Tuesday's. Mmm, low-carb cheesecake.

5. WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY: Really hard? When my Mom and I were standing by my Memaw's hospital bed, and Mom started singing the lullaby Memaw made up for me when I was little. Although I've also been known to mist up while I'm listening to drumcorps CDs.

6. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING: Usually.

7. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT: Ham.

8. ANY BAD HABITS: I pick my nose when no one's looking, among other things.

9. WHAT IS THE MOST EMBARRASSING CD ON YOUR SHELF: Depends on who's looking. Could be Boston or Kansas, could be Janet Jackson's debut album, could be my barbershop quartet or BGSU Men's Chorus CDs. I'm not terribly embarrassed about my eclectic musical taste.

10. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? I doubt it, but maybe.

11. ARE YOU A DAREDEVIL: No.

12. HAVE YOU EVER TOLD A SECRET YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL: Only to a third party who had no connection to the secret-originator. Sometimes you just have to tell, and telling someone who doesn't know and doesn't care is your best bet.

13. DO LOOKS MATTER: Sometimes, and depending on the situation. Sometimes not.

14. HOW DO YOU RELEASE ANGER? I get all pissed-off and sulky until I realize how stupid I'm being.

15. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE? Oh, Jeebus, don't make me pick! Um... maybe Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan?

16. DO YOU TRUST OTHERS EASILY? Not generally, but possibly more than I should.

17. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE TOY AS A CHILD? My Smurfs and my Hot Wheels / Matchbox cars.

18. WHAT CLASS IN SCHOOL DO YOU THINK IS TOTALLY USELESS? In retrospect... totally useless? None. My least favorite was probably Social Studies (or History as I got into middle and high school), although I now wish I knew more of what I didn't pay attention to back then.

19. DO YOU HAVE A JOURNAL? I used to keep a paper journal, but now I just use this. Sometimes I still write things down that are too private to share.

20. DO YOU USE SARCASM? Who, me?

21. WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR IN A GUY/GIRL? Notwithstanding the fact that I'm no longer "looking" for a guy... a sense of humor and overall acceptance of who I am.

22. WHAT ARE YOUR NICKNAMES? Aaron calls me Boobie-Doobie (after a Bill Cosby bit we listened to once on 8-track). My Mom used to call me Boogie when I was little.

23. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? Um... now that I'm not quite so obese, maybe. If I was confident I wouldn't end up on Faces of Death or Max X.

24. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? No, but I do untie them before I put them back on.

25. DO YOU THINK THAT YOU ARE STRONG? Yeah, but odor isn't everything.

26. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR? Oh, jeez. It really depends on my mood (and whether I'm eating low-carb), but I used to be partial to Denali Moose Tracks.

27. SHOE SIZE? Women's 10 or 11, depending on the shoe. Men's 8 1/2.

28. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE COLORS? They've been changing lately. I really like the light green that my webpage is right now, but I also like dark reds and burgundies and hunter green and navy blue. Again, it kind of depends on my mood.

29. HOW MANY WISDOM TEETH DO YOU HAVE? Four, and one's coming in sideways.

30. WHO DO YOU MISS MOST RIGHT NOW? Nobody in particular, but if I had to pick someone, I'd say my Memaw.

31. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE YOU SEND THIS TO SEND IT BACK? Well, I snicked it from Sheryl, and that leaves about three people who might see it and respond, of which maybe one will when she gets back from
vacation.

32. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? The sound of my too-loud computer humming.

33. LAST THING YOU ATE? Three cheddar bratwursts and a slice of leftover low-carb pizza.

34. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE: My Mommy!

35. THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX: Overall build. Muscular, slight, chubby, tall, short, medium.

36. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON THAT SENT THIS TO YOU? Sheryl is the bomb-diggity.

37. HOW ARE YOU TODAY? Not too bad. Got a little bit of a headache, but the Aspirin-Free is chasing it away.

38. FAVORITE DRINK? I dunno. Seems like it should be water, since I drink so much of it lately.

39. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? Amaretto Sour.

40. FAVORITE SPORTS: To watch: skateboarding. To play: I liked soccer and field hockey in elementary school. Since then, I haven't really played any sports. Maybe badminton, which I haven't played since high school gym class.

41. HAIR COLOR? Brown.

42. EYE COLOR? Hazel-blue.

43. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? I did until I got a staph infection from a rogue cigarette ash blowing into my eye at a concert. After that, I got some more stylish glasses than I had in high school, and realized that glasses weren't so bad, after all.

44. SIBLINGS? Step-brother, Philip, 17.

45. FAVORITE MONTH? *thinking* Don't really have one. Weather-wise, probably September.

46. FAVORITE FOODS? Used to be pasta. Now, I don't know. I just kind of eat because it makes me go.

47. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? The Last Unicorn on DVD, I think.

48. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? Day? Uh... *shrugs* I dunno.

49. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Happy endings, if I had to choose between the two. I'd actually prefer weird endings that make you go hmm.

50. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer, most definitely. Drumcorps. Plus, heat isn't physically painful like cold can be.

51. HUGS OR KISSES? Hugs. Long, drawn-out, squeezy hugs.

52. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS? Duh. One-night stands are weird and ungood. Even strange relationships are better.

53. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Beth, when she gets back.

54. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? Any one of a (small) number of people who don't read my LJ on a regular basis, or don't have one themselves.

55. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? Asimov's Caliban by Roger MacBride Allen

56. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? "Last Dead Mouse" with a dead mousie (title of a Mighty Mighty Bosstones song, and purchased at one of their shows).

57. FAVORITE BOARD GAME? Currently, Scrabble. I didn't used to like it so much when I was a kid.

58. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? *thinking* Channel-surfed with Aaron. There wasn't crap on last night. Ended up watching part of Dateline, I think.

59. FAVORITE SMELLS? Valve oil and diesel fumes. Heh. (That's the drumcorps nut in me.)

60. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP? "How much longer can I sleep and not be late to work?"

61. WHO SENT THIS TO YOU AND ONE THING NICE ABOUT THE PERSON: Ganked this from Sheryl. She's almost always willing to give you stuff if you need it and she has it, or help you do stuff if you need help (like parsing an RSS feed).

Unproductive Evening

Spent all day at work chomping at the bit to get home and work on web page / drum corps stuff. Got home, ate dinner, messed with my computer a little, got bored, went upstairs and read on the couch, fell asleep for an hour, woke up with the cat asleep on me, then watched American Chopper and 20/20 (with the cat still sleeping on me).

I'm only just now getting down to researching more on RSS feeds and planning to create one for my alumni site, even though it's rarely updated. WTF. It's purely for my own benefit—I don't expect anyone to actually take advantage of the Saginaires Alumni Association syndication.

I'm tired but not sleepy. :-/  Blah.

Girlfriends Rock

Got to spend an evening with Sheryl. It's been a while since I had an evening of chillin' and discussing schtuff in general. Went to Wally World (aka Wal-Mart), went to Sheryl's apartment (where I freaked out her dog somehow), finally went to my place and talked about RSS feeds and geeky stuff and girlie stuff and kitty stuff.

Yeah... we need to hang out more often, yo.

Memorial Day Weekend So Far

Productive weekend so far. Saturday, we went to Fort Meigs in Perrysburg to watch the Siege of 1813 re-enactment, where I easily burned off two rolls of film. (I'll post photos when they come back from Dale Labs.) Afterward, we went thrifting and I picked up some candle containers (pint-sized mason jars) and a super-8 projector that looks like a little TV. Very cool.

Today, Aaron mowed the grass while I mopped the kitchen and bathroom and swept the garage; then we went to Wal-Mart and bought car-washing implements and batteries for my projector; then we washed both cars; then we trimmed some tree branches away from the house; then Aaron went shopping while I did laundry. For dinner, we attempted something new: Low-carb pizza. It actually turned out to be fairly good—we plan to try it again, after we invest in some real pizza pans.

Tomorrow morning, I head up to Novi to march in their Memorial Day parade with the Lakeshormen. I'll be leaving the house around 7am, if not earlier, arriving at Novi around 8:15, warmups at 8:30, parade starts at 10, two-mile parade (yeeks), lunch at Pizza Hut afterward (salad for me), then another hour-plus to get home. Heck of a holiday.

Feeling ungroovy

Didn't get much done this evening. Ate dinner (leftover prime rib... mmm...), played on the computer, watched the last two episodes of Colonial House.

I feel kind of yicky, like I'm trying to get sick. My eyes are dry, my throat is almost-sore, and I feel generally rundown. I should really go to bed. But I also feel kind of... lonely? Is that it? I feel like one of those nights living in Anderson, when I just wanted human contact. Where I'd walk upstairs to Donna's room to see if she was there, or see if Tim was on IM (even though he was only two floors up), or call Beth from across campus. Though I'd usually end up on IM talking to Dan about some great new programming thing he'd learned or about his poor confused love life or what have you.

Maybe I'm just tired and unwell and need to take a shower and go to bed.

Comments on my previous entries would be welcomed, too, especially considering my current feeling of disconnectedness. Snore and let me know you're out there. :-)

Totoro Cosplay: The Saga Continues

The pattern arrived today. And all I've got to say is... it's a good thing I'm starting in May/June to make a costume for January. I haven't sewn from a pattern since 8th grade, and never on a sewing machine.

Once we get the sewing machine from Aaron's Dad's house, it'll be time to go buy several yards of muslin and make a few mistakes—er, that is, a few test suits. :-)

I'm older than Sheryl... so...

...I scored better than her measly 68.5, the little whippersnapper:

Final score? 121.5. OK, I'm a dork. But I'm OK with that.

Gamer Lamer

*comes up for air after 2 1/2 hour Civilization III marathon*

*looks around*

*takes a deep breath and dives into a new game*

Blogging

What's with people who blog about their blog? If I surf to one more blog whose last four posts have been about how 6Apart are sellouts and are now charging money for Movable Type and how everyone should switch their blog over to WordPress or something... gah.

For God's sake, people, blog about something! Blogging about your blog is counterproductive.

This just about says it all:

It's official...

Gas is not only expensive—it is motherfucking expensive. Never since the first Gulf War did I ever believe that I'd be paying $2.039 a gallon for gas. Ten bucks barely got me half a tank of gas. That's not too far from normal, I guess, but it's just the principle of the thing. I mean, holy shit.

At least we don't live in California. God knows what we'd be paying there.

Things you shouldn't do:

#1 - Rent any "Faces of Death" video.
#2 - Download the Al-Qaeda video of the slaying of Nick Berg.

I have experience with both, and I wish I didn't.

That is all.

How Much Is That Kitty In The Window?

Saturday was the Waterville Community Garage Sale. We had a pretty decent haul—some cast-iron shelves, wooden knick-knack shelves, a big shelf/table for my plants, a Ventures record, and some other stuff. Fun day, got some sun on my neck and shoulders.

But on Sunday... we adopted our kitty.

We got our kitty from Planned Pethood. They don't have a shelter, but do foster homes instead, so we met one of the foster "moms" at a local vet's office in Maumee. She was showing a litter to someone already, so we hustled to meet them there. We had a choice of two kittens: Mel, a black male, or Mia, a grey tabby female. Aaron and I held and petted and swapped and hemmed and hawed and decided on Mia, the grey female. For what we paid, she was already spayed and had her first set of shots. She also comes with a 30-day guarantee; if she gets sick, we can take her to the vet's office where we adopted her and they'll treat her free of charge. Not a bad deal.

We'd already bought kitty implements last weekend, so we were set on that front. Outside of having to fashion a new kitten-sized litter box out of a cardboard box, that is (don't worry, we have cat box liners). She was a little skittish at first, but after a while, she calmed down and ate her kitten chow and drank her water and used her litter box.

Aaron and I decided that we needed to name her ourselves, instead of taking the name the Planned Pethood people had given her. So, we threw around some names all evening, and finally settled on Mei, after the young girl in Tonari no Totoro. The final decision was between Mei, Neko (Japanese for "cat"), Rei (from Neon Genesis Evangelion), or Troi (from Star Trek: The Next Generation).

It's been a full day now, and she seems just fine. In fact, she's laying on my lap as I type this.

I do have a whole kitty picture page up on my site already, so go check it out! It's under the Photographs section.

Why can't we live in L.A?

OMG. OMG. Go here and listen to streaming radio out of Los Angeles. It's my goddamned favorite radio station reincarnate (practically), and it's in fucking California! Aargh! I want!

Well, at least it's a Clear Channel station. That means, if it does well in L.A, maybe they'll assimilate the country with their new station format. Who'd have ever thought we'd think Clear Channel was a good thing?

...since when did I like Bran Van 3000 so damn much? I'm grooving so hard to this radio station, I don't want to go to bed.

(But I have to.)

Petrol Sucks

-----Original Message-----
From: Diana Schnuth
Sent: Thursday, May 06, 2004 1:08 PM
To: Kris Heath (work)
Cc: Aaron Schnuth
Subject: Gas at Meijer

> Don't pay too much for gas...I see it's up over $1.90 now.

Let me share with both of you my Meijer escapade. So, gas there is only $1.83 or something. Only. Hah. I pull in to pump #14 and bring my purse out with me, and start to pump my gas. There was a small puddle in front of the pump that I took care not to step in, assuming it was gas. Anyway, I planned to put in $10 worth. The gauge rolls up to $9.60... 70... 80... I let go of the trigger --

-- and it keeps pumping. The damn automatic latch is stuck, and I can't get it to stop! The numbers scroll on... $11... $12... finally ending at $19.26, at which point I've filled the tank with mildly overpriced petrol. And, of course, I only have $14 in my wallet.

So, off I trek to the main store, to use the ATM and get out money for gas (and garage saleing, while I'm at it). No problems there, trek back, pay the nice girl, tell her about the gas spill, etc, etc. But, dang, that took twice as long as it needed to. *sigh*

It feels like Friday, too, but it's not. How cruel.
- Diana

Good Intentions

I was so proud of myself. While I was at work, I scripted out the remainder of my day in half-hour increments. Half an hour for dinner, then cleaning the living and dining rooms, practicing mellophone, computer time, shower and personal grooming, all carefully plotted out.

When I got home, I saw Aaron off to work, ate dinner, and took a two-hour nap.

Gah!

Ah, well... I guess I needed the sleep. Strike the mello practice, and strike cleaning. *sigh*

This Weekend

Yesterday: Aaron and I went to BG to meet up with Timmay for lunch at Campus Pollyeyes. Their salads are friggin' gigantic, so we weren't too sad about watching Tim eat his yummy breadsticks. It occurred to us that they always kinda sit funny in your stomach, anyway—not in any sort of "sour grapes" sort of way, but in thinking of how Aaron and I would react to so much bread right now.

We spent two hours there at Pollyeyes, talking and catching up. Tim told the best drunk story ever, including him passing out on the train and being awakened at the end of the line and having to walk five miles home while calling his passed-out roommate who's locked Tim out without his keys and then Tim eating breakfast at a local diner and finally breaking into his own apartment to find his roommate passed out in the bathroom. Classic story, and better than anything that ever happened at BGSU. I miss Tim. Heh.

After hanging out with Tim, we hit Goodwill and the Woodville Small, then went back up to Best Buy to purchase a scanner. Scanners these days are so cool. We got one that scans transparencies (most do now) and comes with this spiffy-assed scanning software that automatically detects where the pictures are on a strip of film and brings them up as thumbnails. Holy crap! Soooo cool. (Or maybe I've been away from cutting-edge technology for a while, having graduated college and all, and am just out of the loop.)

So, that was Saturday in a nutshell. Today involved me getting up and leaving the house around 9:20, getting ass-raped by the National City ATM (since the Sky ATM isn't exactly close to home), getting half a tank of gas, and driving up to Clawson. There I met Barb and Russ, and they drove the rest of the way to the first official LakeShoremen full-corps rehearsal in Montrose, Michigan. Basically, a three-and-a-half hour trip one way for me. Rehearsal was from 1:00 to about 4:00, and was quite productive and very cool. We got to rehearse in an Ensemble setting with the percussion, then put the colorguard with the group as we figured out a parade formation. It'll be interesting to see how the parade goes in two weeks—we didn't get to actually move the parade block outside of the gym, as outdoor practicing was noise-prohibitive. (The drumline tried it and got called by the superintendent within five minutes.) In other related news, I started getting that old familiar twinge in my middle back, below my shoulder blades—the one I get when I stand at attention with my horn up for extended periods of time. It's not an "ouch I hurt something" feeling; more of a "hmm I don't use that muscle much and it's really starting to feel hot and cold at the same time and it'll be sore later" kind of feeling. And, yes, it's sore right now.

Anyway, I finally got home around 7:15pm. Long day. Aaron had dinner just about done when I got home: barbecued chicken and grilled yellow squash. Mmm. He's off doing food shopping now. He did my job of laundry earlier in the day. He's so cool. I'm so lucky. *contented sigh*

Randomness to keep the boredom at bay

Dammit... I hate it when I'm bored. And tired.

My definition of being bored is when nothing you can think of sounds good. Usually this is when I would eat something. Good thing our fridge is out of instant food snacky items like hot dogs and lunchmeat and low-carb tortillas, and I'm tired of string cheese.

So... um... I guess I'll go through my stack of scrap paper on which I have written things I should blog about, and write about them until I decide it's time to go to bed or go read or something. (I really do have a stack of scrap paper on my desk, with stuff I need to do and to blog about. I write myself notes at work, since I'll get canned for posting to my LJ on the job, or even on break.)

I made an unfortunate discovery last night. Remember back when I was blogging about "I hope my ass doesn't look like that"? (I can't find the entry, but I remember writing it.) Well, before I took my shower last night, I was contemplating myself in the full-length mirror. —Yeah, I know, just hold your upchuck till the end of my story, OK? Anyway, I was contemplating the fact that I recently downgraded (or would it be upgrading?) from "obese" to "slightly overweight," according to my BMI of 30. Sooo... I took my hand mirror, turned around, and looked at my bare ass.

And let me tell you, it was not a pretty sight.

My ass does look like that.

I look much better from the side than from either the front or the back. Get myself a boob lift, lose some more paunch/gut/fat/belly/whathaveyou, and I'd be looking downright normal when viewed from the side. From the front... now that's going to take a bit more work.

In other news, hearing 30- and 40-somethings in my office discuss how to spell "whoop-ass" (or, as they insist, "whup-ass") is quite amusing.

Something else I heard from one nearly-50-year-old woman in my office, regarding her 401(k): "It's my future—you'd think I'd pay more attention. But I don't have the time to look into all these things! It's like a crapshoot; you just hope for the best." Wow... I've got thirty-some-odd years until retirement, and I check my 401(k) at least monthly, if not weekly. This woman is my Mom's age, and she just doesn't give a shit. That's amazing. (Of course, my Mom's going to be working until she dies, for lack of any savings whatsoever.)

Oh, and you've gotta take this quiz. The results will amaze you.

After you've done that, use some free long-distance minutes to call this recording: 248-262-6861. It's a Detroit number, and it's just the cost of the long-distance call. It's not some weird 900-number thing. Just call it, OK? You'll be glad you did.

OK, um... I think I'm done now.

RIP MMB

Just got done "double-digging" a quarter of the flower garden. Basically, it's just turning over the soil, but doing it so that the dirt from Point A ends up at Point B, and vise versa. I was also pulling out roots and rocks as I went. Holy crap, that's a lotta roots. I only did that for half an hour or 45 minutes, but my hands are all tired and I feel like I've done some serious work. At least I'm a quarter of the way done, though—only three more days of double-digging. Then off to get some Miracle-Gro Garden Soil and mix that in. Then off to get some plants.

I was surfing around online just now, basically just wasting time, and discovered that bosstones.com is no longer active. Hmm. After a little Googling, I found a Mighty Mighty Bosstones fansite that says,

I'm sorry to inform you that this site is dead. The reason being is that The Mighty Mighty Bosstones have "Basically" split-up. In Technical Terms, they no longer are touring together. They are on "HIATUS", or so they say.

Projects:
Dicky Barrett - Announcer for Jimmy Kimmel Live - Catch him at 12:00 on ABC on weekdays
Other Band Members - They are taking time off to be with their families, and those without familes are touring with other bands like "Less Than Jake" and doing their own thing.

Wow. The boys have been together for nigh on 15 years (ten if you only include the quasi-original lineup that split a few years back), and they finally decided to take a breather. (Kind of like Catherine Wheel, who has been "parked" for the past three or four years.) Anyway, another site's forum gives indication that this has been in the works for a year and a half now. Damn, I've been out of the loop.

And, as a side note, pages with white text on a black background hurt my eyes after a while.

Happy Birthday to Me...

Hey! It's my birthday. How 'bout that. I actually forgot until I got to work and saw two birthday cards on my desk.

Don't feel any older. Still in my late 20's. Got my presents last weekend. No cake on Atkins. Um... yeah.

I'm going to bed now.

Weirdness on my street

OMG. You will never believe what I just saw out my window.

I was sitting here at my computer, contemplating going to bed, when I heard a car pull up the road. (One of the benefits of living on a dead end: all traffic is either lost or coming to your house.) It didn't sound like any car I knew—the muffler was pretty noisy, so it wasn't Aaron. Then I heard it pull up the driveway and turn around... but it didn't go away. The rumbling chug was still outside. I started to get a little freaked out, so I headed up to the front door to look out the peephole. All I could see was that a car was parked with its lights on, somewhere behind the giant pine tree (which is to say, by our house somewhere) and it had gotten close enough to trip our motion-sensor floodlight. I decided I needed a better vantage point.

I went upstairs again to the small bedroom and looked out the open blinds. I figured I was relatively safe, standing in near-total darkness inside. From there I could tell that there was a bluish station wagon parked on the opposite side of the road, and as I watched, the driver turned off the headlights. It looked like two people in the car, or a person and a dog—I couldn't tell which. Then I remembered that the crate of camera equipment was in the room with me, including Aaron's binoculars. I foraged for those, and looked out ever so carefully, so as not to be spotted.

The driver was a black man, a young adult, and his seat was in the reclined position. His head turned toward me, and I freaked for a second as I thought he'd spotted me, but he turned away again. As I was trying to ascribe honest motives to him (maybe he just needs a place to grab some sleep?), I saw motion in the car. It became a particularly rhythmic motion. And you've probably guessed it by now: it was someone giving him a blow job.

I felt kind of bad for the guy on one hand, because I've been there: trying to find a place, anyplace, to go and get it on. To make matters worse for this fella, though, the wind kept triggering the motion-sensor on the floodlights by the garage, so it kept interrupting them. I wonder if it was good for him, anyway; I heard his car rumble away as I was writing this entry.

I'm glad it was just someone getting nookie, though, and not someone casing the joint. I was seriously freaked out for a few minutes there.

Civilization III is Evil.

Oh, yes. Civ III is perfectly evil. I think I got five hours of sleep last night, and waited until this morning to take my shower.

So, on my way to work, I rolled down both passenger-side windows just an inch or two and turned on the panel fan, to help my hair dry. Of course, I ended up running a couple minutes late, and just barely got caught by the damn train that crosses Holland-Sylvania on my way out to Airport Highway. D'oh! At least I didn't catch the School Zone lights, too. At any rate, I got to work just in the nick of time, hustled in, and clocked in only one minute before I would have been officially late.

...Did I mention I'd rolled my windows down?

Fast-forward to 5:00pm. I went to get in my car, and my seat was damp. WTF? Then it hit me: Hey, dumbass, you left your windows down! It had rained like a motherfucker all afternoon, so not only was my seat damp, but the passenger's seat was damp, the digipak that had been sitting on said seat was damp and warping, and the dashboard and gearshift and the inside of the windshield were all beaded with rainwater. Good Lord! I was almost afraid to start the car. I mopped some components dry with my sleeve and hoped for the best.

In the end, I arrived home with a damp ass and a full dose of God-I'm-so-stupid. Toweled off the inside of the car for Aaron's trip to UPS, and left the towel on the driver's seat for him (driest side up). Aaron's so good to me, though; he was only moderately miffed at all the CDs that got wet (mainly because all but one were CD-R copies), and he kept telling me not to get down on myself about it. He told me he loves me, and I told him that doesn't make me any less incompetent. But I felt better, anyway.

On a lighter note: I'm working on programming my The 90's: Volume 2 mix CD.

Aaron and Kris Heath have told me that Volume 1 is more of a 90's-in-Cleveland mix, rather than a 90's-in-Toledo mix. Hey, it's where I grew up. Volume 1 goes a little something like this:

1. The Smashing Pumpkins: Disarm (1993)
2. Collective Soul: December (1995)
3. The Sundays: Wild Horses (1992)
4. The Gin Blossoms: Until I Fall Away (1992)
5. The Lemonheads: Shame About Ray (1992)
6. Nirvana: Serve the Servants (1993)
7. Bad Religion: Infected (1994)
8. James: Born of Frustration (1992)
9. REM: Losing My Religion (1991)
10. Michael Penn: No Myth (1989)
11. The Judybats: Being Simple (1993)
12. Toad the Wet Sprocket: Walk on the Ocean (1991)
13. Bush: Glycerine (1994)
14. Martin Page: In the House of Stone and Light (1994)
15. Oasis: Champagne Supernova (1995)
16. Red Hot Chili Peppers: Under the Bridge (1991)

When Amy was visiting, I bought some used "huH" CD's from Finders. (Remember that warped digipak on the front seat...?) huH was the best music magazine ever, even though it only lasted a year. The magazine itself was a square format, with cutting-edge design, and it came with a sampler CD of bands that were featured in the magazine. (I forget the name of the famous cutting-edge magazine I learned about in my Graphic Design classes, but the people who designed that magazine also designed this one.) Anyway, these CD's reminded me of some almost-one-hit-wonder bands from the 90's, like Letters to Cleo and Buffalo Tom. There are a bunch more bands like those that I've completely forgotten about... but maybe, with a little help from my friends, I can come up with a better mix of 90's hits (and not-quite-hits) than my first one.

Here are my thoughts so far: Buffalo Tom (what was their big song?) / Letters to Cleo (same here) / James: Laid / The Cranberries: Linger / The Sundays: Where the Story Ends / Nirvana: All Apologies / Stone Temple Pilots: Sour Girl

Again, I want to keep it early to mid-90's—nothing after, say, 1995. Those songs are different memories for me. See, the early 90's are high school and summer and hanging out alone in the apartment I shared with my Mom, while the mid-90's are college and staying home for a semester (in a new, nicer apartment, but with Gary) and returning and meeting Aaron and later living with a hellish fluffy roomate for two weeks. The late 90's are living with Amy and working for RCC and beginning to get disenchanted with popular music. So, first, we're going for the early 90's.

Main goals of the mix: 1.) Stay in the early 90's. 2.) Make it stuff that got radio play, especially on the alternative stations. (I miss 107.9 The End out of Cleveland. They were my favorite station EVER.) 3.) And help me find some less mellow stuff, please? I need at least a couple rockin-out songs to balance the happy relaxed mellowness of the rest.

Any ideas?

My LiveJournal Haiku

LiveJournal Haiku!
Your name:	dianaschnuth
Your haiku:	purple and white thing but recently i find him pleasant and honest
Username:
Created by Grahame

It actually turned out kind of cool, so I opted to post it.

The Ultimate LJ Obsession Test

I was curious how lame I was, so I took...

In other news, I am so glad to have my PC back up and functioning that I've been sitting here playing Civ III for about two hours, instead of doing dishes or getting my shower. My eyes are burning and my neck is sore.

Oh, and in case anybody forgot, today is Timmay's birthday! It's 4:20, dude... huh. And two days before my birthday, which makes it even easier to remember. Like Dan's, which is five days before mine.

I gotta go shower and go to bed. Now.

...All's Right With The World

Amy's asleep in the living room, Aaron's asleep in the bedroom, and I'm wide awake and hanging out in front of my computer in the basement.

Yesterday was fun: Amy arrived around 3:00pm, we hung out for a while and talked and gave her the Grand Tour of our new house, and then we opened presents. Aaron's birthday present (from November), Christmas presents for all, and Amy's birthday presents (from January, which ended up in amongst the Christmas presents). Then Amy and I went to BG to walk around and shop—we hit Finders, and R&B, spent lots of quality time in Grounds for Thought, ducked into Ben Franklin, browsed around 2 Play, wandered around Hatter, then realized that we needed to get home for dinner. We got some chicken and beverages at Kroger and headed back to Toledo. By the time we got home, it was 8:30pm and Aaron was starving. We barbecued the chicken on the grill and had dinner, then I opened my birthday presents (April 22nd, in case you were wondering). We all talked for a while, and finally went to bed around 2:00am, I think.

Overall, it's been a fun visit so far. Today we're going to go out to lunch, make Amy eat some Cinnamon & Butter Flavored Pork Rinds, and go see a matinee of Kill Bill Volume 2 at 3:15pm. Then she's going to take off shortly after the movie, and Aaron and I will continue with our normal Sunday of food shopping and doing laundry. :-)

Good times... I miss having Amy around. A lot.

I'm (kind of) a nerd...

42.857142857142854% of me is a huge nerd! How about you?

How disappointing. I am a "well-balanced nerd." I even knew all the answers to the LOTR and the Star Trek questions. Hell, I even knew the Dune questions and the Asimov questions! It was the D&D that got me, though, I think.

Now I've given away too much of the test, and you won't be surprized when you read the nerdy questions. Ah, well.

...Hey, wasn't I going to clean my desk?

Dan!

Yesterday evening, Dan stopped by on his way from Cincinnati to Ann Arbor. Very cool. I don't know why, exactly, but Dan makes me smile. He's just got that kind of personality, I guess, where he makes everything seem exciting and invigorating. I like Dan.

We ended up having dinner at Easystreet, where Michelle from Madhatter was our waitress. She was in rare form, too, and talked up a storm. Dan wasn't sure what to think of her... Come to think of it, neither was I, at that point. Anyway, Dan and I spent quite a while just sitting and talking after dinner. Afterward, we took a short walk (short because it was so f*&%ing cold out), and then stopped into Grounds For Thought, but decided against getting anything after staring at the menu board for a couple of minutes. Dan really wanted to see our new house in Toledo, so I Mapquested directions to my own damn house (how pathetic is that?), and I navigated while he drove. The trip was a little anticlimactic, but at least he kind of knows where our house is now. When we got back to BG, we came home and fired up the computer again so Dan could show me the scooter he wants to buy off of eBay. We talked for a while after that, and ended up crashing at 11:30 or so, which is waaay past Dan's bedtime. :-)

At some point during the evening, we were discussing actions vs. intentions, and how important it is to follow through on your promises, to have integrity, especially as you get older and (supposedly, theoretically) more responsible. Of course, he was talking about someone else, not me, but that sort of follow-up is one thing I've always struggled with. It goes hand-in-hand with procrastination (which I'm doing right now by posting this entry). I always have the best intentions, but I end up finding different or more pleasant things to do, rather than what I know I should do.

So, today I proclaimed to Aaron over e-mail that I am going to begin cleaning and packing my desk area. Anyone who hasn't been to my apartment, let me explain: my desk is a disaster area. I write notes on scraps of paper, or I work with genealogy documents, or I read mail and open bills, or get reference books from the bookshelf. These items I then stack neatly on my very small desk real-estate. And on the defunct scanner. And next to my mouse. And on top of my tower. And on top of my other tower. And on top of my file box. And on top of my printer. And on top of my other printer, sitting underneath the desk. And, well, it's a bunch of crap that I don't want to throw away, but don't know what to do with. So, this is no small feat to clean and pack. But I have committed myself to at least beginning to tackle this monstrosity tonight, and tackle it I must.

So, off I go.

Really.

...Have I started yet?

—Oh, by the way, before I go: My high school buddy Melody got accepted to BGSU as a Vocal Performance major! Wheeee! Congratulations, Mel! Now we're going to hang out again on a regular basis, for the first time in years and years... damn, almost ten years it's been since we really got to spend much quality time together. This is going to be cool... for both of us.

OK, now I'm really going to clean and pack. Really.

My Brain Hurts.

I have that weird feeling in my brain. The one that precludes either a stint of creative writing or a long intellectual conversation with Amy. I swear to God that I feel different in my brain when it feels like it wants to think. Aaron thinks I'm crazy.

Thing is, I don't really have any pressing tales of fiction to tell, no poetry oozing from my fingers. I had contemplated busting out the Kay and strumming a few chords, but I don't think that would do it for me. As for writing, I'm tired of writing simplistic me-disguised-as-hero stories. I'm also tired of reverting to my junior high days and writing soft porn (yes, ladeez and gents, Diana has a libido, frightening as that may be to you).

I wish I could be like Isaac Asimov (lofty, I know) and plunk out a decent short story in 20 minutes flat. Hell, I wish I could write a decent short story at all. —OK, maybe that one was pretty alright, but besides that... *shrug*

Maybe I just need to write more often, instead of maybe once every four months. Write fiction, I mean; I write in my LiveJournal (or, previously, my main blog) nearly every day. My eighth-grade English teacher once told me that, like a world-class athlete, a writer like me should practice every day.

...

Whoa. My intelligent train of thought was just completely derailed by Sir Mix-a-Lot making an appearance in my random mp3 playlist. My brain is now filled with images of a big black guy in shades dancing on a giant peach, surrounded by black chicks with much booty.

Mel!

My old buddy Mel came into town today! I got her e-mail last night, saying that she'd be in BG for an audition, and suggesting that we could do lunch. Absolutely! I ended up taking a half hour longer for lunch than I should have, but it was worth it. I really hope she gets in, and for more selfish reasons than I might like to admit. I miss having girlfriends to hang out with. And Melody in particular, especially when she's Happy Mel and not Chronically Tired Mel.

In other news, my left shoulder has had a nagging piercing pang for the past two days. It's not a muscular soreness; it feels like more of a nerve thing, or possibly a muscle tightness or twitching or a joint a little out of place or something. At any rate, it hurts just enough to annoy. (Maybe I should take some Tylenol... nahh.)

And on the house front (as opposed to homefront?), John gave me the final news on the closing today. The amount of money we need to bring to closing is... nada. Not a damn thing. Our driver's licenses and our smiling faces. Hell, we're most likely going to get money. Here, have a house and a check. Huh?? But I'm not complaining.

I've also been OD-ing on my genealogy of late. It's amazing what you can piece together from just census records and other easier-to-obtain documents. For instance, check out this brief narrative on my great-great-great grandfather:

On 14 Jan 1869, Samuel's father James consented to the marriage to Mary Lunette Shupert, due to the fact that his son was under 21. At this point, Mary Lou was already three months pregnant with James. Bill Cook's genealogy indicates that this marriage took place in Ellerton, Jefferson Township, Montgomery County.

By the summer of 1870, Samuel and Mary had established a home in Jackson Township. Their son James was almost a year old, and Samuel was supporting his new family by working as a farm laborer.

In the 1880 U.S. Census, Samuel's last name was spelled "SHARITZ" and his occupation was listed as 'laborer.' Samuel and Mary were both age 30. Their first five children had been born and were living at home -- the oldest, James, was 11, and the youngest, Harvey, was one year old.

In the 1900 U.S. Census, Samuel's last name was spelled "SHARRITS" and his occupation was listed as 'farmer.' He named his birthplace and the birthplace of his parents as Indiana. All the children were still living at home -- except Samantha, who had died four years prior at the age of 13. The oldest child, James, was 30. The youngest, Mellie, was twelve.

Also in residence in 1900 was Oscar RIDENOUR, Samuel's grandson and Ona's son. Ona had died in 1898.

By 1920, all of the children had moved out. Samuel was still farming at age 69, and his wife Mary, also 69, was still living with him. She would continue to live with him for another five years, until she died of heart disease in the summer of 1925.

Samuel was 80 years old and living alone in Poasttown in the Spring of 1930. He owned his $4000 home, had no radio, and did not work.

In 1938, Samuel developed a nagging case of pneumonia that was destined to persist for years. Samuel died three years later, in 1941, of heart disease and pneumonia. His oldest surviving son, Charles, was the informant on the death certificate, and was apparently caring for Samuel in his later years. The death certificate gives the birthplace of Samuel and both of Samuel's parents as Miamisburg. Samuel Oliver is buried in Mt. Pleasant Cemetery, Poasttown.

And that's just the stuff I wrote down, not even all of the records of his kids being born and marrying off and dying and all that. Something about the narrative just strikes me as... poignant, I guess, even though it's not really much to read if you aren't related to Samuel.

This is harshing my bouncy mood, yo. But I'm still pretty happy. Ever since seeing Mel today, I've been unusually smiley. I don't mind. I like it. Mel is such a character. *shaking head*

I hope her audition went well...

Class-Action Settlements Rock.

Hey, guys? Remember several months ago when I told you all about the class-action lawsuit about CD prices? ...Good, because I'm too lazy to go look for the entry on my site. Anyway, you'll never guess what I got in the mail today.

A check. For $13.86. In payment for the settlement.

Word.

Let's go buy a CD.

The future Schnuth abode

4651 Ventura Drive. Three-bedroom, one-bath, tri-level single-family dwelling. Now with a clean bill of health, apart from a few ungrounded electrical sockets and a mishmash of other minor (and easily fixable) flaws. (Photo above taken by Aaron at the home inspection today, with our new-to-us digital camera.)

Now, we have to wait until the appraiser and surveyor do their job, and get all our silly busywork to the mortgage lender... and wait. Closing is on or before March 5th, and as I've said multiple times before, I hope it's before rather than on. I still need to call the Smiths and let them know we won't be renewing our lease, but I'd rather do that once we have at least a closing date, and preferably a solid date of possession.

Moving on to things-not-house-related... I've decided to track the things I should be doing on a daily basis, mainly just to remind me to do them. Thorough tooth-maintenance (brushing, flossing, Stimudent-ing, mouthwashing, gargling, and rinsing), exercise, mellophone practice, and... well... showering.

Yes, everyone, surprize of surprizes, I don't bathe daily. I bathe every other day or every third day (a.k.a. "European standard"). I'm guessing you all knew that years ago. Especially Amy. :-) However, with my excuse of "my hair gets too dry to wash it every day" about to be thrown out the window by—gasp!—actually conditioning my hair, I'm going to make a concerted effort to shower more frequently. I know, you all had that figured out in Junior High. So I'm a late bloomer. Shoot me.

I feel empowered by having admitted my most embarrassing downfall in public. Aaron just found out my second-most embarrassing one a couple months ago, and I'm not sharing that one. It's just too gross.

Aaron took a buncha pictures of the house during the home inspection today. If I feel saucy, maybe I'll post them on my main page this weekend. I love our digital camera. :-)

BTW, my PC is still down for the count. I haven't really made any sort of effort to resurrect it yet, since I haven't really wanted anything I have stored on it in the past couple of weeks. Aaron's Dell and my Mac are doing a fine fill-in job for now... and I don't have to put up with the damn thing being continually unstable. I think I mucked it up at some point. If I thought it would help, I'd consider installing XP on it... but I'm afraid it would muck it up even more.

Hmm... anything else? Oh, yeah, yay for dead presidents. I get the day off Monday.

This Weekend: Curry and Silver

Over the weekend, I bought one of those videos of beginners Pilates (read: pill-AH-teez, not like who drives a plane). Did the workout this evening before dinner; my arms are sore like I worked out with weights, and my lungs and windpipe feel like I've been really breathing again for the first time in a long time. I wonder what this is going to feel like in the morning...

I'm also very proud of myself for making "real" food this weekend, too. Aaron cooked some chicken on the Foreman, and I made a curry cream sauce (with Atkins ThickenThin not-starch thickener instead of flour, of course). Mmm... curry... reminds me of my Memaw's yellow curry rice. But, yeah, I made something that wasn't alfredo sauce, tuna salad, or any number of pasta dishes I can no longer indulge in... and it was so, SO good.

Another weekend accomplishment: I scored what I believe to be a platter made of real silver. From Goodwill. For a dollar. Spent four bucks on silver cream, and probably an hour buffing and cleaning the sucker. Looks like silver to me, and nowhere on the bottom does it say it's only silver-plated, like the other platter I found at the thrift (and didn't purchase). Its only mark says "Oneida Silversmiths," and, unfortunately, there's no mark indicating it's Sterling. :-) Anyway, even if it's not pure silver of some sort, it still looks nice, and isn't too gaudy.

Oh, and one last thing. I, like Beth, am not upset that I didn't watch the StupidBowl, even though it means I missed Janet's insanely nipple-pierced boobie. Yeah.

Damn livejournal...

Silly me, wanting to change to Rich Text mode in the middle of an entry. No, I didn't want to keep that entry or anything. Gyarr.

So, as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted... Where the hell is the goddamn fuse?! I cracked open the computer, and the fuse is not where Aaron said it would be. I can't seem to find it. Hopefully, he'll be able to help me locate it this weekend, and we can go buy a new one at Wal-Mart or Ace Hardware or something. I hope it's not actually the power supply itself, because that would suck. It doesn't smell like burnt computer, though, so that's good.

Although I did discover why you're supposed to keep all the nice plates closing up the back of your computer. :-) Lotsa cobwebs. Jinkies.

I read something on CNN.com today which would explain some of my personality quirks. Scientists have found a relationship between teen depression and a small hippocampus, which is the part of the brain responsible for emotion and motivation. It's possible that adolescent depression could actually shrink the hippocampus, they say. Maybe that would explain my reticence to get up in the morning, eh? —Oh, well. It was a good try, anyway.

And here's a funny for ya: Maybe your parents or grandparents were involved in social or veterans' clubs like the VFW, the Federation of Eagles (Fraternal Order of Eagles?), the Moose Lodge, or similar clubs. But have you ever heard of... The Fraternal Order of Orioles?! One of their local "nests" opened an account with Sky recently... which is probably more than I should tell you. Now I have to kill you.

More Randomness

My stack of scrap paper with scribbled blog ideas is piling up, so I need to unload some random thoughts today.

Someone at work said last week that she'd heard from someone that gas prices would hit three dollars a gallon by summer. She was indignant and said, "Do you think the people of this country will stand for that?" Now, I don't know about you, but I'm not precisely sure how I'm supposed to not stand for it. I can't exactly stick it to the oil companies by not buying gas for my car. I'll show you, big oil tycoons! I'll ride my scooter to work! Ri-i-i-ight.

Are you ever disconcerted by your pee after you take some wicked strong vitamins? Swear to God, it comes out looking radioactive or some shit. This is not a color that normally occurs in nature. Of this I am certain. It looks like those ugly bright neon piss yellow School Crossing signs they've started putting up. Yikes.

And on the subject of health... it was bad enough when they came up with caffeinated water, but NicoWater?! I've got your NicoWater right here: just let my step-Gary ash his cigarette into the bottom of your Dixie cup. WTF?!

I'm suddenly kind of lethargic and blech, so I'm going to wrap this up for now. Have you noticed, o loyal readership, that I've been trying to update on a daily basis for the past couple of weeks? Even if I have nothing of daily merit to report? All six of you that check out my little page are getting the royal treatment. And, from referrers and ISP details, I've successfully identified Eric as a regular visitor and Dan and Garza as sometimes visitors. Somebody's got Sprint that checks the site daily, Ameritech is Garza, WCNet is Eric, Comcast is Dan, someone's checking from Elder-Beerman... and I don't really feel like comparing logs to figure out anybody else tonight. Blah.

Have a good one, y'all. I'll shout out again tomorrow.

Funny Joke for Today

Husband: How about we swap positions tonight, honey?
Wife: That's a good idea. You stand by the ironing board,
           and I'll sit on the couch and fart.

Later: I know only about six of you visit regularly (and I know this for sure now because of my happy SiteMeter), but I'll post this anyway. Spread the word.

I was reading the news portion of Something Positive, and found this link to a friend of a friend of the artist. This woman, Rebecca, and her family and pets escaped their burning house this week, but lost all their personal belongings. There's pictures and everything, and multiple people have cross-references from their pages, so I'm confident it's not a hoax. I went ahead and donated ten bucks, and am planning to donate a few extra Sci-Fi/Fantasy books I had been going to trade up at Grounds. If you'd like to donate, I'm sure she and her daughters would appreciate any little bit.

MLK Jr. Day = Day Off Work

Gotta go back to work tomorrow. Don't want to.

Spent today chillin', cleaning the bedroom, French-braiding my hair (Go me! I done it!), watching TV, and making a Spearmint candle for myself. Did not spend today reflecting on the life of the country's greatest Civil Rights leader. That's OK, though, because when I get Presidents' Day off next month, I don't intend to reflect on the lives and achievements of George Washington and Abraham Lincoln, either. I'll probably do pretty much what I did today.

John from NOIC also had the day off, so he wasn't there when I tried to give him a buzz. Hopefully I'll get some news at work tomorrow about the mortgage. Gah. We need to get going on this shit so we can find a damn house and close on it before March 31st.

My boss has this week off. So, it's entirely possible that my e-mails and phone calls will increase exponentially starting tomorrow, since he left contact information in his voicemail and e-mail for each division of Quality Control specifically. He oversees not only the Patriot Act issues that I work with, but also Bounce accounts, Deposit Verifications, Kiting, and some other stuff I'm not sure what is. I hope this week doesn't suck. At least it'll be short.

Saturday is Ohayocon in Columbus. This year, unfortunately, I won't have a point-and-shoot camera to bring along, but there were plenty of people last year who posted pics online after the fact. So, I will once again be able to post about the weirdness that ensues.

You know, if I weren't on the Atkins Diet, not yet to the point of adding alcohol back into my diet, I might have given this a go tomorrow night.

Curious about loose ends?

Curious about the rest of my personality quiz? Here ya go:

Enneagram Test Results Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||||||||| 64% Type 2 Helpfulness |||||||||||||||| 62% Type 3 Image Awareness |||||||||||| 46% Type 4 Sensitivity |||||||||||| 44% Type 5 Detachment |||||||||||||||| 70% Type 6 Anxiety |||||||||||| 45% Type 7 Adventurousness |||||| 21% Type 8 Aggressiveness |||||| 26% Type 9 Calmness |||||||||||||| 58% Your Conscious-Surface type is 5w6 Your Unconscious-Overall type is 3w2

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

Curious about how my fan mail to Bob Mould was received? (Hell, most of you probably don't even know who Bob Mould is.) Anyway, here ya go:

Diana,

Thanks for the kind words. The next record will more than satisfy the older fans - it's a guitar record.

I hope to be back in Detroit later this year. New album will probably be in August, with a Fall '04 tour to follow.

Regards,
Bob Mould

*keeping my ear to the ground*

Just a Quick Note

If you thought dissecting fetal pigs in High School was gross, be glad this guy didn't come to Show And Tell.

later: another note
I'm not going to read any more of the Xangas that Garza is subscribed to. That much God makes me violently ill. Case in point:

I was blessed enough to attend a wedding in which two people not only loved each other, but loved God so much that you could feel His very annointing in the room. It really touched me to see that in a world for material love, that true love still exists--and it can easily be found through Christ.

I'm sorry, but... *yarf*

I'm insensitive, I know... and I'm sure I must have been like that when I was a teen... I remember feeling like that at times... but, well... I'll just shut up about it now, I guess, before I get myself in trouble.

By the way, this couple's first kiss ever was at the altar. I'm still trying to decide whether the wedding night was:

 a.) make-out time and too scared/apprehensive for actual sex,
 b.) super-horny pent-up sex, or
 c.) makin'-babies-like-the-bible-says sex. Or possibly:
 d.) beautiful, non-conception-related married sex... which, FYI, is pretty damn cool. :-)

One more thing. Can I state for the record, please, that Aaron has been my ONLY sexual partner. Despite what Brother Jed might say (where's he been, anyway?), if there is a hell, I am not destined for it solely because my ONE lifetime partner and I deflowered one another several years before our wedding night.

So there. I'm done being righteously indignant... for now.

still later...
I just found Bob Mould's blog. And wrote him an e-mail:

I'm always afraid that a letter from me, as a fan, to one of my favorite artists will come off as hero worship. That's why I usually don't take advantage of all those little e-mail links on their pages, when I do find them. But tonight I figured, what the heck. I just found your blog, and you seem pretty accessible after such a read. I don't really have much to say, I thought, and it won't take long for Bob to hit delete... :-)

First... please, come back to Detroit. (I live in Toledo, but no one wants to come here, and I don't blame them.) I and those who first introduced me to your music would love to hear you play an acoustic set at St. Andrew's. We saw you there back in... 1998? ...with the Last Dog and Pony Band, and have wished for another show ever since. We'd probably even take a day off of work to drive up for a weeknight show, if we had to.

Second... although I am not a fan of your new musical stylings, I respect the fact that you're trying new genres that you enjoy. A lot of artists wouldn't (and don't) have the balls to try something new, but you did, and gained a new fan base at that. And you're having fun with it, and that's all that really matters.

That's it. Nothing you haven't heard before, I'm sure.

Thanks for listening.

P.S. - wasn't there another, less techno, more acoustic album planned for release? We've been waiting for that for some time now... we hanker for some new, non-techno Bob.

I feel like a little bit of a dork, but WTF. It's sent now. I'm curious as to whether I'll actually get a reply. He seems like the kind that just might.

Murfle

I'm not entirely convinced that anybody gives a crap about what I do day-to-day. I jot down notes at work when I think of things to bring up on my blog later that evening, then sometimes I look at some of those notes and think, "Who gives a fuck?"

I think I'll just attribute my cynicism to being tired and bored, and I'll just move on.

Anyone into web comics has probably already discovered Something Positive. As for me, though, I've spent the past two evenings reading the S*P archives. About three years' worth. I found myself wishing for a printed comic after a while — still do, actually, since I'm only caught up to July 2002, I think.

My favorite character so far is Choo-Choo Bear, the 25-year-old kitty cat with "a bone disease that makes him extra huggable"—basically, he's an elastic kitty. Many great gags ensue. So lovable, and so, so cute. So cute, in fact, that I made myself a new IM Buddy Icon out of him. Murfle!

Tomorrow's the big day, when we head up to Sylvania to see if we can get a home loan. Last time we tried this with Sky Bank, Dan the Mortgage Man strung us along for a week before he told us that I hadn't worked for Sky long enough. ...Come to think of it, we tried to go to Sky for a car loan first, too, and got smacked down; but we got it the second time, when we did our financing through the Kia dealership. Maybe the second try will do it for us with a mortgage loan, too, this time with NOIC. We can only hope. As much as I'm not thrilled about moving again... *looks around at mess* I really have a hankerin' for a house.

Worked out with my weights some more yesterday. Didn't work my pecs... or didn't mean to, anyway. Managed to make the rest of my upper arms, shoulders, and back mildly muscle-sore, while making my pecs oh-so-stiff. Oh, yeah, and there's a muscle down the outside of my right arm, from around my elbow to the outside of my wrist, that makes typing quite the joy. I hope I didn't mess with my whatever-I-have-wrong-with-my-wrists.

I'm bored. I need to pack up eBay stuff to send out tomorrow morning. And I have to take another crap.

Kinda Bored

Lots of shit I should be doing. Don't feel like doing any of it. Definitely bored.

Yesterday, I concocted my best candle fragrance yet, I think: Chocolate Covered Coffee Beans. At first, I thought I was making a Cafe Mocha scent, but it turned out different than I had expected. Guess I need some different fragrances for that one: maybe some Hot Cocoa, Caramel, and Cappuccino scents together. As it is, though, my candles turned out pretty smellerific. I like.

Oh, I know what I need to do. I need to figure out what bills will get paid when, so I can keep from bouncing my dang checkbook. I'm going to end up counting on the good graces of our landlords again to not cash my check before the first of the month (I get paid on the 15th and the 30th). And, since I work for the bank, if I bounce three checks, I self-terminate. That's right—I fire myself. Cute way to put it. Kind of a "you know the rules, and if you break 'em, you pay the consequences" kind of HR bullcrap vibe. Not that I disagree, though; working at a bank, you should have control of your own finances.

Oh, yeah, and I need to print out my check stubs and bank statements for Saturday's appointment with Mortgage Man #2, John at NOIC. Here's hoping we can get a house by April 1st... otherwise, we're either staying here one more year or renting a house for a year or two. *crossing fingers*

Off to take care of business...

A New Year

Not really much to report. I've enjoyed bummin' around and having days off in the middle of the week for the past two weeks. Next day off: Monday, January 19 for MLK Jr. Day.

I've been working on building a website for selling my soy candles. I'd considered doing the PayPal Shopping Cart thing, but I don't think that would work out so good, since I'll have to confirm with the customers that I do still have the container in stock, yadda yadda. I'll probably just end up asking how they intend to pay: check, money order, or PayPal—then invoicing them via e-mail or through PayPal. My Aunt Sammie has already said that she may put me on her business website under the "We Highly Recommend" section, which might actually get me a decent amount of business.

Have you seen the Shrek 2 trailer? I thought it would be stupid, but it actually looks really funny. We're gonna have to go see that when it comes out in May.

Aaron compiled both of our bootleg collections into one giant database at eTree.org. He still has to transfer our good stuff from cassette to CDR and add them to the list, but we've got a pretty good collection just on CDR.

But, yeah. Other than that, not much has been going on. I made my New Year's Resolution to pay down my credit card debt and maintain a balance of 25% of the limit. (I'm at probably 95% of the limit regularly.) I also made some more minor resolutions to take better care of my teeth and to exercise more, but I won't beat myself up if I slip on those once in a while.

And that's about it for now. Have a happy new year, all.

Weird Mood

I'm in the mood to write fiction, but I'm resisting the urge to free write, because I will undoubtedly end up with smut. Yep, that's me, Diana, the budding smut novelist. Sigh. My brain takes the weirdest turns sometimes.

I had a whole little sheet of paper full of what I wanted to blog about today, but I forgot and left it at work. Same with the Post-It where I listed everything I ate today and at what times. That was helpful.

I remember a lot of what I'd wanted to say, but I find I don't really want to say it anymore. It's all kind of dumb thoughts in passing, like how annoyed I am with the women in whose room I work. And our broken toilet, which now only flushes by lifting up the tank lid and fishing for the broken flush arm. And the scanner that my computer won't load anymore. And, oh yeah, my student loan bill this month is more than my rent. Thanks for the fisting, Department of Education, can I have another?

I need to chill out on the candle thing, too, unless I intend to make some sort of game plan for marketing and distributing my wares. Christmas only comes but once a year, and unless I'm going to be the weird lady who gives candles to everybody when they come to visit, I couldn't justify making candles because it's fun and just gifting them year round. I've already spent probably a hundred bucks on candle supplies as it is.

I am in one funky-ass mood. Not depressed, and not quite bored, but definitely on the dark side. Not down on myself (for once), but not in a positive mood in the slightest. OK, maybe the slightest...

Oh, and guys? Even if the "blog" craze is settling down, I'll probably keep doing this thing. I keep a journal anyway, and sharing it with people seems like the thing to do. Granted, there are some things I don't write here that I would write in a private journal, but those are rare. If it weren't for blogging, I probably wouldn't even be keeping a journal right now, because I usually only write in a paper journal when I have an emotional crisis to solve. :-)

No, I've changed my mind. I am bored. Which, by my definition, means nothing I can think of to do sounds good. Guess I'll go bum around until I can come up with something.

later...
I attempted to cure my boredom with some websurfing. I'm not nearly as good at it as I used to be. I forget where my old jumping-off points were.

Anyway, I downloaded some random stuff on WinMX, too, and found a techno version of the Sesame Street theme (not the best one I've heard, either). Somehow from that, I ended up thinking of that early 80's kid's show, The Great Space Coaster. Most of you won't know what the hell I'm talking about... but for those of you my age or a little older, here's some nostalgia for you:

Baxter (with the Huggles)	Gary Gnu (No Gnus is Good Gnus...)

Knock-Knock	Goriddle Gorilla

Speed Reader	The Great Space Coaster logo

Bring back any memories? Man, when I was in Kindergarten through second grade, this was my FAVORITE show. I'd forgotten. I don't have any desire to collect VCDs of it or anything, though, because I know it would sully my memories of how great it was. I'll just look at the pictures and listen to the theme song and remember how great it was to be five years old and sitting in front of the TV...

Oh, yeah, I need a title.

Did half an hour of stretching and crunches, then half an hour of buzzing on a trumpet mouthpiece. I'm feelin' pretty good right about now. Blood's flowing, breath is moving, lips are tingling. I feel good. I should do this every day. That's my goal, anyway, especially since the upstairs neighbors are gone to Mexico for two months. (That means embarrassment-free practice time on the trumpet, in preparation for the mellophone later on.)

I came up with a shitload of random snippets to post up here today, so bear with me.

This weekend, while spending our respective gift cards and certificates, Aaron and I found ourselves in Waldenbooks at the Woodland Small here in BG. And as Aaron was perusing the manga section, I overheard a couple of high school kids talking down the aisle: "Man, too bad you didn't wear your other jacket, with all the big pockets..." and so forth. Meanwhile, I'm thinking, It's not too bright to talk about shoplifting from a store while you're still IN the store. Kids these days. Sheesh.

And speaking of gift certificates, I may as well list the stuff I got with mine: A silky-fuzzy robe, comfy pants (the stretchy fuzzy kind with snaps at the bottoms of the legs), a teapot, new Skechers shoes, and... um... I think that's it. I really like everything I got, though, despite the shoes being about half a size too small. They're cool, and I'll break 'em in. Really.

So, at work today, I think I was finally offended by the people in my work area. These women are in their early 40's, I would guess, and very irreverent. OK, some are in their fifties. Anyway, listening to them talk about getting totally drunk and one of them trying to use pepperoni or salami or something to make a bikini—that finally just turned my gorge. The swear words at work I can handle. Even the F-bombs. But mental images like that... ugh. Something should be done, but I'm not going to be the one to rock the boat. As it is, I'll just sit back and pretend I'm not there. They seem to do a good enough job of that, anyway.

And if the woman who sits next to me at work, with four kids and income quite similar to mine and Aaron's, can be approved for a $130,000+ mortgage loan, certainly Aaron and I can qualify for something. I mean, really! They're not even married. They have no downpayment. Do you mean to tell me that if I'd gotten knocked up instead of doing Life in the correct order, they'd give me a home loan, too? Well, shit! If I'd known that was all there was to it...

That's not fair of me, I know... but it doesn't stop me from being bitter.

And, goddammit, I am sick and tired of sneezing! Aargh! I wish I'd either finish getting sick or get over it. (And, yes, I do have a preference.)

A few days ago, I made Amaretto & Coke candles for Mark and Amy. I poured them into these nifty stemmed glasses, smoky colored and squarish. I'll post a photo eventually. Anyway, in order to get the wax to stick to the glass right, I've been warming the containers in the oven while the wax is cooling. This time, though, I turned the heat up instead of off, since I had brownies to attempt afterward. (Stupid brownies... bah.) So, silly me was used to reaching into a warm oven and pulling out warm glass containers. So what do I do? I reach into a 350° oven and touch a blistering hot glass stem. I now have this intriguing blister on the inside of my right index finger, where I scissored my two fingers around the stem to pick up the glass. (The middle finger was saved by my massive writing callus.)

And, in lieu of an actual page with this on it, I'm going to post my Atkins-so-far pics here:

July 2003	October 2003	November 2003

Busy Day

Today I had an interview with HCR Manorcare up in Toledo. Yes, this is the same place I sent a resume over a month ago; they said that the flu outbreak has kept them from completing the hiring process sooner. Anyway, my boss let me leave 15 minutes early, since I told him I had "an appointment in Toledo," and that I would make up the time by taking a shorter lunch tomorrow. I ended up not really needing the extra time, as I got there 15 minutes early, anyway, and that was after taking a walk around the block to calm down.

I think the interview went rather well. It seems that their "Knowledge Management" department is in need of one or two more people, especially people with experience in audio and video. Kevin, the person who holds the current solo position, also made sure to emphasize that the position is not a "creative" one, but more writing and organizing thoughts and ideas and publishing actual content. I'm actually quite excited about that, as I feel it's one of my strong points. Ask Aaron how many grammatical errors I catch on a daily basis (and how frustrated he gets about it).

Kevin, who interviewed me, was quite impressed by my portfolio site — especially where I talk about my "services" and have a Q&A section with layers that pop up and answer the questions. Um... glad ya like it. I only wish I really had services... He also seems like either a early-30's guy who's prematurely graying, or a late-30's guy who still acts really young. I like him so far. Seems like he'd be easy to work with... and he has more problem "finding words" than I do (resulting in a Shatner-esque pause), which makes me feel more confident about my ability to do the job, considering.

When I got home, I got a call from the wedding photographer's assistant, asking if she could go ahead and bring over our wedding reprints. So, she brought those straight to the house, and I looked them over before she left to make sure everything was in order, which it was. Now we have to buy a dozen 5x7 frames for the reprints we bought as Christmas presents. Thank goodness they arrived in time—no, thank goodness Carol drove to the lab in Findlay and insisted that she was not leaving until she had our prints in hand. :-)

Then, after that, I made Mom's Christmas candle (I don't think she reads my blog, but I'm still not telling what scent it is). I made an extra, since it's just as easy to make two at a time. I added a little more coloring than I had intended, but that's what these first several batches are all about: experimenting.

It's midnight—I need to either shower and get to bed, or get to bed now so I can shower in the morning. I could write more, but I guess I'll have to save it for tomorrow.

Happy Yule, everyone.

Randomness

I have a veritable potpourri of items to mention today, so don't expect this entry to have any sort of continuity. :-)

I've been doing deposit verifications at work this week — when the apartment complex you want to live in asks which bank you hold your accounts with, and they send in a request to see your average balance for the past six months, it goes to someone like me. I look up people's accounts, write down the requested information, and sign and date the provided form. So, I've been getting a lot of practice signing my married name. Heh. I've pretty much got it down now, though. Learning to forge my mom's name really had an impact on my "S" (my mom's name is Suzanne, and I swoosh my Schnuth "S" kind of like hers now).

Rama enjoyed her candle, though she didn't realize at first that I'd made it for her. I don't really think it smells like Hazelnut Eggnog, having made real hazelnut eggnog a couple weeks ago, but it still smells good. I even took my dye block and crunched it up to sprinkle fake nutmeg on the top. I took pictures to post on my candle page, when I get it going on.

I went with most of Lockbox to El Zarape for lunch today, too, to wish Rama well. Her last day is Friday, after which she and her husband will be going on vacation to visit friends, then she'll be taking three grad classes for her MBA. She's hoping to be done in two years. —Anyway, back to El Zarape. I'll bet you're thinking I went off my diet. Au contraire! I ordered the fajitas, with the warm tortillas that come separate, and just didn't eat the tortillas or the rice. I'm sure I ate more carbs than I should have, anyway, with all the veggies, but I didn't do too bad, considering.

In light of the spread of the flu, I have been washing my hands at work like an obsessive-compulsive. Well, OK, maybe not that much, but I'm being much more thorough than usual. I've been sneezing and having those nasty wintry dry boogers up my nose, so I've just been waiting to wake up sick one day... but it hasn't happened yet. I will continue to wash my hands and take my vitamins, and hope to stave off the assault of the flu season.

Even though there's barely a snowball's chance that the person I'm about to reference will ever find my page and read it, I will nonetheless not mention her name... Don't worry, it's nobody you know. OK, now that the disclaimer's out of the way: I am so, so glad that Aaron and I have a healthy relationship. I'm glad we don't play mind games with each other, or guilt-trip each other, or threaten to leave each other at the drop of a hat. I'm glad we don't have insane mood swings and changes of opinion. I'm glad we're similar ages and levels of maturity. I'm glad we didn't have children before we were married.

And speaking of children... Jesus H. Tapdancing Christ, why does everybody at work think I need to have kids RIGHT NOW? I mean, Rama said to me today, "Let me know when you have a baby." Huh? It's gonna be a while, sister, but I'll let you know... in a few years. It's not like we're actively trying right now, or have plans to conceive in the near future. I swear, these people are worse than my own mother... and Mom's been known to hound us about grandkids, though not as much as Aaron's grandparents do. :-)

And, to wrap this thing up, here's the weekly (really bad) joke from the Sky intranet:

Q: What's worse than raining cats and dogs?
A: Hailing taxis.

Um... stuff.

As I was desirous to read different and more up-to-date blogs (except for Beth's, which is always current), I was glad to discover that my friend Jason started a Xanga. Unfortunately, I couldn't comment or give him "eProps" unless I was signed up. So, I did. (It just points back here, anyway.) Then, I read Beth's entry for today, which was basically aimed at me, being the only non-LiveJournal member of her usual audience. So, I signed up there, too. (Again, it just points back here.) I figure, maybe it'll be a sort of link to my real site, and I'll get more traffic from my LJ and Xanga-owning friends.

It occurred to me at work today that my sloth will be my undoing. Mainly because I've been showing up 10 to 15 minutes late for work, and taking a 45-minute lunch to compensate. Pretty soon, my boss is going to notice while he's doing payroll, and I'm going to hear about it. I need to get to sleep earlier and get up earlier. And actually get up, not hit the snooze then turn it off so I won't bug Aaron then wake up when I should be going to the car then leave when I should have already been there. Thankfully, work is only a 10-minute drive, even when I catch all the red lights. (If all the planets align, I can make it in seven.)

I also see what people mean when they talk about the last hour of the workday being wasted. I didn't understand before, when my volume of work determined when I would get to leave. But now, when it doesn't really matter how much I get done before five, I totally shirk the last half-hour or more.

Rama's last day of Lockbox is Friday, but since I'm going to be off in Dayton at Amy's grandpa's funeral, I won't be at work to wish her well. So, I'm going to make her a candle to give her as a good-luck-happy-holidays present, and give it to her tomorrow. I'd better get to it.

My Candle Addiction

I've been meaning to mention this for a while, but I keep forgetting:

Ladies—have you ever been walking behind someone, maybe someone at work, and finally taken a good look at their ass? And then you say to yourself, 'My God... I hope my ass doesn't look like that!'

I made another pair of candles tonight (patchouli this time—not exactly Aaron's favorite), and used up the last of my first bag of soy wax. I have another bag arriving tomorrow, along with my new scents and wick clips. Anyway, this time, I preheated my containers and let my wax cool down more before pouring. I still get impatient, though. I know I shouldn't, but I do. I can't wait to see what the finished product will look like, and it's so hard to go slowly and do the process right instead of rushing through to get it done. Freakin' sit there for fifteen minutes stirring to cool the wax with one hand and holding a hot blow-dryer to my empty containers with the other. And I still jumped the gun and may have poured too soon. We'll see in a bit.

Both Kris and Mark, when they found out about my candlemaking, asked me first off, "So, when are you going to start selling them?" Should this be a clue, or is it just an assumption on their part? If I do decide to sell my candles, I'll probably sell them all online by word of mouth. That's assuming everybody likes the Christmas candles I make. Yeah, I'm going for a cheap and simple Christmas: wedding pics and candles.
:-)

I was standing by the printer at work and overheard one guy (the token "do-you-think-he's-gay" guy) talking about chocolates with raspberry creme filling, and chocolate-raspberry coffee. In one moment I wanted to turn to him and jokingly say, "I hate you," but as I was walking back to my desk, it occured to me that Chocolate Raspberry would be a great candle scent. I was also inspired by Kris' coffee this weekend—I believe it was Sugar Cookie Caramel Cappuccino or something equally sweet and scrumptious-smelling.

Aaron made a great analogy this weekend. He said that, with being on the Atkins diet, watching the Food Network is like being single and watching porn. Oooh-ing and aaah-ing over fudge truffles and the like, all very much out-of-reach, but appreciated for what they are nonetheless.

I think I've decided that making candles is kind of like that, too. If I can't stimulate my taste sense with yummy goodness (although there are plenty of good things I can still eat), I may as well stimulate my sense of smell. It's close enough. Plus, it's artsy-craftsy, and makes me feel productive and talented.

Oh, and speaking of talent, Kris brought his trumpet over for me to practice on. I have zero chops left, man. I got nothin'. Of course, iit never helps when you're trying to play softly because you live in a duplex. I may have to bite the bullet, overcome my embarrassment, and go practice in the practice wings of the music building on-campus. Those rooms aren't totally soundproof, and people can easily hear you in the hallway, which is one reason why I never used to like to practice for my requisite two hours per day.

Anyway, I'm going to start out doing sirens on the mouthpiece and thoroughly annoying my upstairs neighbor. Once I can successfully maintain sirens and long tones on the mouthpiece alone, I'll pull out the Bluecoats brass book and do some warmups from that. Once I can get back up to the advanced exercises that I could do in '97, then I'll feel confident again. The trouble, though, is that I was never good at doing solely exercises. But I can't start on the actual tune we'll be playing at the LakeShoremen, because I don't want to confuse my chops by playing it in entirely the wrong key. (Trumpet = Bb, Mellophone = F) Even if I learn the right fingerings, it'll feel different when I go to play it on a mello.

And incidentally, I've decided that once April rolls around and it's time to renew dianaschnuth.com, I'm switching over to HostRocket. I know enough people who've had their sites hosted through them that I'm pretty confident in their services. After putting up with eCom's bullshit for a couple of years, I've had enough. Even if their service would improve if I went to one of the higher-priced plans, I wouldn't stay with them because of their low-grade customer service. Plus with HostRocket, for $9.95 a month (two years prepaid), I get a full gig of storage space plus backend capabilities and unlimited email addies and unlimited subdomains (like details.dianaschnuth.com or candles.dianaschnuth.com).

So, I think I'm going to go check and see how my candles are setting up, and maybe try photographing some of my other candles for posterity. My fingers smell like patchouli. I smell like a hippie... minus the B.O.

What Happened This Week

Well, I haven't posted a real, substantive entry all week, and I'm quite backlogged with ideas. So, here I go.

Just today I got my pictures from Signature Color. Yeah, the ones from Halloween? Over a month later, I finally got the prints. I swear, when I ever get a digital camera, Signature Color is so out of my life.

I had a fucked-up dream a couple nights ago. I was on-campus at a grad school, looking for Dan Clouse (I marched drumcorps with him in the mid-90's, and we've kept in touch ever since). I wasn't attending classes there, but the campus had a dorm/hotel where I had a temporary room. Anyway, I finally managed to locate where Dan was living — he had a small, tentlike abode on a hill behind the dorm. Once I found him, he didn't really want to hang out much, despite the fact that our old corps-mate, Jessie Fleming, was joining me directly so we could all hang out together. He seemed to be kind of in hermit-mode.

So, Jessie arrived, and for whatever reason, we went to the Ben Franklin craft store. Except it wasn't just crafts, but included thrifty junk-store stuff like used space heaters. And who should I find in the space heaters but Amy! You know, my college roomie? I didn't even know she was at the school, so I was understandably surprized. I ran up to talk to her, with Jessie in tow, and Amy told me where in the dorm she lived (top floor, far corner). So, I'm catching up with Amy, who's itching to take her space heater up to her dorm room, and meanwhile Jessie is bent on going clubbing, and her nagging is really harshing my Amy mellow. I finally asked her where she wanted to go, and she named some place that I knew was in Toledo, not even in BG (where we apparently were in my dream at this point). So, Jessie bailed, kind of pissing me off, and I woke up.

Why can't I have normal dreams like Aaron, where he got a promotional cat from Lenny Kravitz, or where REM was playing in his kitchen and his cats were requesting songs?

Oh, I suppose I should give an update on my new job, eh? First, though, let me tell you how fubar Lockbox is now. Now, before I left, this was the hierarchy:

1. Loni
2. Me
3. Rama (temp used-to-be-processor but didn't like the hours)
4. Angie (temp & processor)
5. Dawn (temp)
6. Brett (newest temp, at about two months)

In the short span since I left Lockbox — mainly in the past week — several changes have been made to the old hierarchy. First, I posted out. In my stead, Angie got hired in and Dawn got moved up into Angie's temp-processor spot. They didn't get a new temp for a few days. Then, at the beginning of this week, Rama gave her two weeks' notice. Dawn also complained to the bosses about the change in her hours, since she'd been promised she could keep her 8-to-5 and it was changed to 9-to-6. Dawn was subsequently "cancelled," which is what you call it when you fire a temp. Two new temps were brought in after that. So, despite the fact that
Brett has never even watched the processors run work, he was moved up to processor today, and the three brand-new temps were left to prep all the work after Rama left for her doctor's appointment at noon. Oh, boy. So, the new hierarchy, in another week, will be:

1. Loni
2. Angie
3. Brett (temp & new processor)
4. One-and-a-half week temp
5. Few-days temp #1
6. Few-days temp #2

Remember now, Loni is actively attempting to post out, and has a good chance of getting out soon. She may not even be required to give two weeks before she transfers. Poor, poor Angie. :-)

On to my job. It's a little tedious now, but we don't even have several of the reports we'll eventually be going through. Right now, the job could easily be done by one person, but once everything pans out, it sounds like it really will be a job for two. Yeah, it's still a relatively tedious data entry job, but at least it's less stressful. I know I come in at 8am every day, I get to take two guilt-free breaks and a full hour lunch, and I leave at 5:00. The end. Rinse and repeat. This compared to working in Lockbox, where I would come in at 8:30am on Monday and leave God-knows-when, probably around 9:00pm or after; in on Tuesday at 9:30am and out probably around 3:30pm; and in around 9:30am and out between 4:00pm and 6:30pm for the rest of the week, all with half-hour lunches (if any at all) and no breaks (except for potty breaks). I like my new gig a lot better on that front.

Though... I should still be looking for something in my field, anyway. Those other two or three leads didn't end up panning out — I never heard from HCR Manorcare or World-whatever-it-was.

I'm insanely into soy candles now. I just bought another bag of soy wax, three more fragrances, and one dye. —Hey, I was down to two small candles' worth of wax, and while I was ordering that, I mean, what's ten more bucks? Right? :-) So, I found a fragrance oil that'll be perfect for a candle for Mom (just in case she reads my website before Christmas, I won't put which one it is), and I bought some Drakkar-type (ah, reminding me of the days when I sold PartyLite Candles with Mel) and some Hershey's Chocolate scent.

I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do with all these candles. Burn some, obviously. Give some away for Christmas presents. After that... I really didn't intend to sell them, but I guess if my friends know people who'd like some... *shrug* That's how Aaron's mom got into doing crazy crafty shit, but after hearing all about craft shows and the lingering scent of essential oils, I don't think I'm too keen on making it a big business or anything. Although I did always say I want to work out of my home after I have kids... I don't know, though. If I ended up trying this online, I'd have some crazy insane inventorying to do, since I love to thrift unique and unusual candle containers for now.

Curious about my current candle inventory? Outside of wicks, wax and dyes, I have:

After this next shipment, I'm going to lay off of the new fragrances and just try out the ones I have. So far, the eggnog is 'ehh' (I didn't put enough fragrance in the candles), the amaretto is actually pretty good, and the rootbeer is weird. Smells good cold, but the hot scent throw smells... well, not like rootbeer. It's just weird. Anyway, I still have to master the finer aspects of soy candlemaking, which should be obvious from the discolored rootbeer candle. I think it's mainly a pouring-temperature issue. I get too anxious to make the candles, and I don't wait for the wax to cool enough before pouring, so it doesn't stick to the container right. I think.

Oh, no... now I'm going to have to make a web page just for my candles... :-)

Typical New Job Day

I'd love to say that today was the best day ever, and that my new job sounds like a joy... but, in fact, it sounds like I'm kind of everybody's flunky and general floater for now. I'm doing stuff that I don't really know how to do, like filling out peperwork to have the Federal Reserve Bank compensate us for mis-encoded checks; and I'm doing stuff anyone could do, like highlighting the account numbers on one report that were already highlighted on yesterday's report.

However, I did get out of work at 5:00 today, which was nice, despite having to clock in bright and early at 8am.

My right eye has been insanely dry and bloodshot all day, and I'm hoping it gets better overnight. I don't do the eyedrop thing, even if we had any. It's not overly painful, just distracting.

Called my credit card company and changed the name on my card, finally. I'll get a new one shipped to me next week. Slowly but surely, I'm getting things changed from my maiden name to my married name.

I wouldn't have even done that yet, but the Bitter Creek Candle Company said that my credit card was having trouble clearing, so I figured that had to be it — I put the wrong name. Then I checked my balance online, and I was also a touch low. :-) So, I also paid some more on my credit card, to help fuel my soy candle obsession (and pay for Christmas presents).

Oh, and I scanned in the photos of Loni's family I took on Friday. Just in case you were wondering what kind of insanity I had to endure. FYI, Loni is sitting on the far right, holding the boy in the gray vest.

later...
I dislike being so tired when I come home from work. It makes me look forward to going to bed — but then the next thing I know, I'll be going to work again, and I hate feeling like work is all I live for. Hopefully after a week or so of this early stuff, my body will be used to it, and I won't be this tired after work.

I'm also remembering what it was like to dread going in to work every day. Not that I dread this job yet, not after one day, but I can't say I have a positive attitude about the unknown. Especially knowing that I'm going to mess something up eventually, that it's inevitable, and wondering what day I'm going to come into work and be faced with fixing some mistake I've made... which is usually twice as time-consuming.

Maybe while I'm getting used to getting up early and having a new job, I'll intensify my external job search. It sounds like I'm general Deposit Support help right now, and they don't even know if I'll really be doing the job I was hired in for, and they've already lost one person in this position to another offer, so what can it hurt? *shrug*

More Random Bloggage

Lots of randomness to post today. I spent too long making a neato surprize to be posted on the page in a couple weeks... so I'd better get started.

[Again. After my computer locked up and lost half my entry while trying to download some damn fool midi on a webpage. Sheryl, why is my computer being wonky and freezing during startup and at weird random times lately? I scanned for viruses, and I should be clean. Arrgh.]

I ran into two people today who work in the department I'm moving to on December 1st. They're both people who I've worked with/under before, so they know me and are glad I'll be joining them. It seems, though, that my identifying characteristic is my frequent wearing of headbands. One of the ladies said someone was trying to explain who I was, and called me "the lady who works down in that corner in Lockbox who wears headbands all the time." Heh... I have now sworn not to wear any more headbands to work. Hopefully in a few months, I'll be "that lady who lost all that weight," instead.

Speaking of losing weight, I figured out today that during the first three weeks of this diet, I lost an average of seven pounds a week. In contrast, during the past month, I've averaged one pound per week. But I'm OK with that. If my weight loss is slow and steady, I have a better chance of keeping it off, or so I hear. And, hell, I'm already down 26 pounds. I'm a third of the way to my ultimate goal, which is being on the way-upper end of the healthy range.

Segueing with the food bit: Next time you go to Chi-Chi's, watch out for the tainted green onions.

Also in the news: If you're walking down the street, and a guy flashes you, don't be afraid to kick him in the jimmy.

One more, one more... Every college student worth his or her salt knows you have to pace yourself if you plan to drink a liter and a half of vodka. "Gibby...? Gibby! Oh my God, Gibby, you're passed out in the hallway in your own vomit!"

My quotable for today — and this one nearly made Loni squirt pop out of her nose: While processing a large batch of health insurance payments from a local convent, I declared, "Stupid Sisters of St. Francis! Why do you need health care? You've got God to take care of you!"

One day this week, I came in to work and sat my purse on top of my desk, instead of plopping it right in the drawer as usual. And someone happened to notice my Totoro zipper pull. And, of course, I then had to explain what Totoro is: kind of a part cat / part raccoon / part owl / God of the Forest. That really confused them. The one newer temp asked, "Is that Pokemon?" NO. "Digimon?" No, it's just a Japanese cartoon. "You know the square brown guy? Yeah. I like him." Sigh.

And, the wrap-up for today... *drumroll* Written on a BGSU Foundation donation coupon were the words: "I am an alumni of the Men's Track Team. Your fund can kiss my ass."

Me and my f_¢k€d up dreams

OK, so this time I was at college. It was supposedly BGSU, but again, you know how dreams are. I had a room by myself for a while, then my old roommate Mary moved in with me. (Good christ, Mary teaches the Gifted class now?!) — Anyway, I was living in a poor excuse for a dorm — more like a shabby apartment complex that should have been demolished. But it was mine, and I had it all figured out. But Mary moved her stuff in, and blocked the doorway so people had to literally crawl into the room, and kept moving the beds around into weird and unsuitable places in the room. Then she found a room in the next building over where we could cook food, and proceeded to make four different dishes on the stoves in this dank, dark, unheated and really creepy place she'd discovered. Of the dishes, I only recall the cheesy potatoes. Then she went back to our room and left me to put the food in containers and store it... somewhere. When I finally got back, via back hallways and tunnels, she was asleep or studying or something.

Somehow, at the end of the dream, Mary magically became Amy — either Mary moved out and Amy moved in, or one of those weird dream-things happened, where people just randomly become different people and it's perfectly OK... until you try to explain it later. Anyway, the end of the dream involved me trying to convince Amy that maybe we should move out of the dorm we were in and back into one of the dorms with larger rooms: Rodgers, or even Kohl. She was quite receptive.

I know I forgot a lot of the details, and there were plenty, but that's the basic gist. Jeez, is this what I get for thinking, "You know, I haven't remembered my dreams for quite a while now..."? Or maybe it's from being regularly awakened by my alarm clock earlier than usual, to prepare myself for 8-to-5's again.

Anyway, back to the real world...

I had my phone interview with HCR ManorCare today. Mr. Kevin Shoop sounded to be about my age or thereabouts — seems they had the guy call all the people he could potentially be working with, and tell them about the job to make sure they were still interested. He seriously sounded more nervous than I felt, and that really relaxed me a bit. So, I'm to be one of ten candidates eligible for an in-person interview for this Web Content position, slated to be filled by mid-December. I'm glad I don't have all my proverbial eggs in one basket this time, though — even if I don't get this HCR position, I still have a new job and a pay increase. And a $600 incentive check in January, and another raise in March, if I stick around that long. Either way it goes, I'm happy. I think.

I've been spending an inordinate amount of time on the Saginaires Alumni Association website lately. Well, why not, when we have an alumni benefactor who's donating 300MB of webspace indefinitely, plus covering our domain name (which was once my own "donation")? Oh, yeah, and the traffic on our Yahoo! Group has increased from a rare maximum of 19 messages a month between December 2000 and September 2003, spiking up to 233 messages this October and nearly 1000 this month so far. I attribute the growth to the success of the alumni reunions (which I had nothing to do with this time — I didn't plan it, and I didn't even go, because it's on Black Swamp weekend). They all seem to love the site, so I'm going to continue to run with it. There were times when I'd considered shutting the whole damn thing down — but I didn't, because it was my baby, my first website, the reason I learned HTML in the first place. And now, I'm glad I kept it around. Just goes to show, I guess.

Oh, and by the way: if you feel you must drink diet soda, check out Diet Rite. White Grape rocks my world.

Weird Dreams and New Jobs

I had the weirdest, most intense dream last night. I was at work (but not quite; you know how dreams are), and my boss Andrew was there, as was the rest of Lockbox, I think. Somehow, Andrew had been infected with some sort of fatal virus / infestation / disease, one that we knew killed swiftly, horribly and painfully. (No, it's not a revenge dream...) I don't recall how we knew he had it, or where he'd gotten it, though I think he'd stepped in it somewhere. We all knew about it, anyway, and how it ate the flesh of the victim within minutes of becoming active. The skin would turn pitch black, starting from wherever the infection had begun — wherever the victim had first touched the blackness to become infected in the first place. (It reminds me a little of the black oil in the X-Files, but not quite.)

Like I said, we all knew Andrew was infected. We stood around him, kind of keeping our distance, and he leaned on one of the desks, feigning lightheartedness. Tension was high, not only because we knew he was about to die before our eyes, but because we didn't want to become infected ourselves.

We could see the tendrilly waves of blackness creeping around his shoes. (Apparently the virus consumed clothing, too...) Before they got much farther, though, Andrew leaned out toward me, careful to keep his feet back away and clear of me... and puckered up for a goodbye kiss. And, strangely enough, I obliged. Just a peck, mind you, and just a friendly one, like you'd give a relative, but on the lips. This seemed appropriate in the dream, like a final farewell.

A few moments later, Andrew slumped to the floor, still conscious, but in pain. He half-leaned against the desk, half-lay on the floor, and we were aware of the blackness beginning to overtake his ankles. He screamed, and his hands became taut claws of pain. Then I screamed and started to cry, because I was witnessing his death — at which point he stopped screaming and said, "No, no, I'm just kidding. It's really not that bad yet." And he relaxed a bit and grinned up at us.

I was relieved by not yet witnessing his gory death, though a little peeved at his melodrama, but I was still tense and shaking. A few seconds later, I saw that the virus was moving up his legs, and he wasn't faking anymore, and I screamed again, looking away and bracing myself on a table.

Before the virus overtook his entire body, though, I either woke up or shifted to a new dream. I may even have the sequence of events mixed up. At any rate, I didn't stay in the dream long enough to actually witness Andrew's death, which is good.

I've gotta tell you, though, when I woke up this morning, I was tense and stiff and my eyes were crusty, like I'd been crying in my sleep. It's been a long time since I've had a dream that intense. The image of him writhing and screaming on the floor is still burned into my head, and has been all day... which made it that much more interesting to work right next to him all day, while he was subbing for Loni, who's on vacation this week. After seeing Andrew almost die in my dream, I think it made me that much nicer to him today, because I was glad he was alive in real life.

What strikes me most, thinking back on the dream, is: 1.) I was the only one screaming. At Halloween, by the way, the entire office had agreed that they knew I wasn't a "screamer." The others in the dream seemed grossed out, piteous toward Andrew, and concerned about their own safety, but none grieved openly as I did. 2.) I was the only one Andrew made a parting gesture toward. Sure, it was my dream, but he didn't even offer any kind of goodbyes, except the kiss to me.

Usually I can figure out what a dream is about, but I'm not sure about this one. There's only one thing I can think that it might be related to, which brings me to my next topic.

Remember how I said I had three job leads outside Sky and one within? Well... I got the one within! w00t! I'm starting December 1st, and I'll be working 8am to 5pm, no weekends, with a buck fifty pay increase. Hell, yeah. It sounds like I'm moving up from general flunky to cubicle rat; I'll be searching reports and documents for bank clients' missing information, like SSN, address, birthdate, etc, as required by the Patriot Act. Could suck, but could also be better than what I'm doing now. Hell, with such a pay jump, I'd be content, anyway, I think.

So, I suppose that crazy dream could have been my brain reacting to me leaving Lockbox shorthanded, somehow.

Next chapter: I received an e-mail this evening from HCR Manor Care, asking when I would be available for a phone interview. Keep in mind, this gig sounded pretty sweet: interviewing subject matter experts; writing, editing, and structuring web content; audio/video production; and graphic design. Right up my alley, I do believe. So, I'll go through with the phone interview, but I'll sure feel like a dick if I have to back out of the new job at Sky because I got a better deal somewhere else. Especially since I told my new boss in my interview that "I want to stay with Sky." Riiiight...

Soo... I'm going to hope for a phone interview either during my lunch Monday or after work Tuesday, since I don't exactly want to do a phone interview at my desk in the midst of other employees. Were I in a cubicle or office, sure, but not in the middle of Lockbox.

The way I'm looking at things, I don't have to sweat these other interviews now. I do best when I don't get all worked up about it, when I kind of psych myself out of ever actually having the job and just relax and enjoy the interview. At least, it seems that way at the time, I guess. — No, I take that back. I know that's how it is, because that's how I got the Patriot job. :-) Either that, or they had some real slim pickins for candidates...

Anyway, before I psych myself out of any more jobs, I'm going to stop rambling.

Friday Night

Just a brief catch-up post... I'll write more later in the weekend.

Went to see Matrix Revolutions tonight. While I enjoyed it, I was also a little underwhelmed. The pacing seemed a little different to me in places, and it was more action-oriented than cerebral. I mean, sure, it's the Matrix, so I liked it... but not as much as the other two.

Went to Steve Yoder's funeral service yesterday afternoon. I knew about five people out of five hundred in attendance. I wore my Northern Aurora jacket, though, so my connection with Steve would be more obvious. I sat with Kristen used-to-be-Rebbeck, a former corpsmate of mine who actually marched in one of Steve's winterguards. Made friends afterward with some Central Michigan students at the luncheon following, and met some of the Northcoast Academy members and staff. More on that later.

I'd already planned to take off of work on Friday and Monday, and Tuesday is Veteran's Day. Five-day weekend for me... then I took off half a day on Thursday to drive out to freakin' Wauseon — an hour's drive out of BG by the Turnpike. But Loni called today and said she has a funeral to attend in Michigan on Monday afternoon, and asked if I could come in Monday afternoon so the rest of the department isn't slammed too bad. So, I agreed. Only a half-day break in my five-day siesta. I can deal with that.

The Saginaires / Northern Aurora Alumni Yahoo! Group is taking off by leaps and bounds. Alumni are not only posting, but resolving their own issues, which makes me happy as Owner and Moderator. I hate having to step in and play peacemaker. You never know when it's actually going to work, or if you'll just piss off one or both parties involved. But that hasn't been necessary, and the stories have been fun to read (for the most part). I'm glad that something I've done for the alumni is being recognized and appreciated so much.

Cast of Characters

Just spent all evening napping. Yeah, all evening. From the time the national news went off (7:00pm — no, wait, I watched some History Channel, so 7:30pm) to just a little while ago (11:30pm). My eyes have that weird, sleepish feeling, like they're all dry and buggy, and I thought for a while I'd just go straight to bed from the recliner, but now I'm feeling a little better. That, plus the upstairs neighbors are having a little hoopdie (sp?), complete with booming bass. But at least his taste in music doesn't suck too much. If I heard the whole song instead of just the bassline, I wouldn't be completely opposed to his mixes. Anyway, I've got my normalradio cranked here at the 'puter, so I'm good to go.

(Hey, Ellie's playing my Depeche Mode request! Whee!)

Speaking of Ellie, I got an interesting idea from her website tonight. She posted a Cast of Characters from the year 2000 and the year 1999, and commented that of the eleven people who were central to her life back then, there are seven she's no longer in touch with. Interesting, but typical for the college years. If I thought about it, my "Cast of Characters" would be completely and totally different from 1995 to 1996 and again in 1997, to a degree, where things stabilized a little. (At least, my roommate stayed the same from there on.)

So, just for shits and giggles (pbbt... heehee!), here's my Cast of Characters for October 2003:

Aaron
is my newlywed husband and my best friend. I'm so lucky to be married to someone with such depth to his personality. He's always, consistently and irrefutably (and sometimes against his will), the life of the party, and is a total goofball when the situation warrants. But he's also much more responsible than I would have given him credit for back when we first met, and he doesn't do anything by halves. Whether it's the Atkins Diet, rollerblading, 8-track tapes, video games, or whatever, he dives headfirst into whatever seriously engages his brain.

Amy
was my college roommate from 1996-2000, but is now my long-distance best friend from Dayton. Normally, I wouldn't count someone almost three hours away as being in my main CoC, but Amy's special... at least, that's what they told her in school. :-) But seriously — Amy has always been there for me, giving me sound advice and encouraging me to look into my inner motivations. I can tell her literally anything. Even though we don't see each other as often as we'd like, we're still just about as close as ever. I love you, man! *sniffle*

Kris H.
is the resident musician of our little circle of friends, and one of the thriftiest people I know. He's also the vegetarian of the bunch, which makes eating out even more challenging, now that Aaron and I are on Atkins. He's always good for a good Star Trek conversation (especially Next Gen), and will share mp3's with anyone who asks... and sometimes even when you don't ask. Kris is probably one of the most laid-back people I know, while still being kind of humorously indecisive at times — especially at thrift stores and garage sales.

Mark
has just moved out of his parents' house and into his very own apartment! He was originally the quiet guy who hung around with Aaron's group of co-workers at UPS, but has become an integral part of our social group. He tried making an independent film last year, but got discouraged when all his actors backed out on him at the last minute... gotta love Toledo talent. He's also a sponge when it comes to new, good music — we've created a monster by introducing him to the White Stripes, Soledad Brothers, and their ilk, and I even got in on the scene by introducing him to Tegan & Sara. Now he reminds us of how we (or at least Aaron) used to be when we were his age, several years back: going to shows all days of the week, wherever they may be. Mark is another laid-back guy, but in a slightly different way than Kris. He's comfortable with himself and his lot in life, and doesn't have any qualms about working for UPS and not doing the college thing.

Kris Fries
was mainly a music-loving acquaintance of Aaron's during high school at St. John's, but their friendship was forged after graduation when they started attending concerts together (reference Mark, above). Now, ten years later, Kris is married and they're expecting their first child next month. Whoa. Despite his lessened interest in music since his marriage, he's still the biggest Rush fan I've ever seen.

If you're not listed here (Dan, Sheryl, Eric, Beth, Donna, et al.), be assured I haven't forgotten about you. You're in my Supporting Cast. ;-)

Not Feeling The Love Here

Yeah. I see from my logs (which are tedious to browse) that I'm getting hits, but nobody is tagging. Ah, well. I guess I'll press on and hope someone gives a shit about what I'm writing. If not, well, it's still a good outlet for me.

I have ten rolls of Super-8 film in my refrigerator. I got them for cheap at a garage sale last year. I still haven't figured out what to do with them. I still haven't sent in the few rolls I shot back in the year 1999 or 2000. I finally have one mailer, though, so I'm going to send in a roll and see what comes back. None of them are labeled, so I guess it'll be a surprise. I'm guessing most of my movies will be hopelessly underexposed, but we'll see.

Work tally today = 11.75 hours.

After you've gotten used to eating less than 20 grams of carbohydrate a day, bumping it up to 25 is a challenge. I have a pretty set list of things I eat, and adding carby stuff to that requires thought. So far, it's midnight, and I've only eaten about 13 carbs total. Won't even make it to 20 today, much less 25. Egh... never thought I'd have that problem with this diet.

I'm tired, and I should at least go read, if not go to sleep.

Randomness

Of all the blogs I frequent, everybody except Sheryl seems to be in a bit of a blog hiatus. And, while I would like to complain, I will instead make myself part of the solution rather than the problem by updating my own site. And, boy, do I have a bunch of randomness to throw out there. I've been saving it up.

I ate tuna salad for lunch yesterday. So all afternoon, at my desk at work, I had the most awful tuna burps. I finally just had to share this fact with my co-workers, and they were rightly amused — not so much that I was belching tuna, but that I felt the need to share.

Oh, and I managed to miss last week's fire drill at work, though it sounds like it was so pathetic that there might be another one before it snows. One department just didn't leave the building. I guess they didn't want to stop working or something. Wish everybody had that kind of balls.

Here's an announcement you'd never want to be applicable to you: "Heather Ard, please return to your desk." Now, I don't know Heather, but I know she's the building's new Executive Assistant. And all I could think of was poor Heather, whoever she is, sitting on the shitter and hearing herself paged back to her own desk. You are our prisoner! Muah-hah-hah!

The quotable for yesterday: "Are you trying to make me cry?" After I'd reminded our 23-year-old temp that it would soon be her turn to process the god-awful huge account that all of us hate.

Have you ever listened to the lyrics of Chicago's 25 or 6 to 4? Sounds like the dude is fucking high.

Staring blindly into space Getting up to splash my face Wanting just to stay awake Wond'ring how much I can take Should I try to do some more Twenty-five or six to four

Get to the part about the room spinning deep, and he's in the middle of a goddamned acid trip or something.

Psychologists at the University of Liverpool in England have completed a study wherein they measured people's reactions to overweight or obese people. The results showed a lower opinion not only of those who are fat, but also those who socialize with fat people. So, yeah, sorry 'bout your luck, folks. I didn't mean to make people think you're a lazy, slothful bum just because we hang out together. :-)

And in conclusion, let me unveil my very first desktop background! Ta-dah! I decided that this photo of a dude jumping a dirt kicker (read: hill) would make a good desktop. Plus, I felt the urge to dust off the old Photoshop skillz and learn some new stuff.

The only thing I scammed off the internet was the Gravity Games logo — and damn, getting it to look that nice in plain black was a trick, I tell you. Check out their page and see what I mean. But, anyway, the skyline photo and the biker photo are both original work. If you're wondering what kinds of fun tricks were used, think masking and layer blending modes. Whee!

If you like it, it's available for download in 1024x768 and 800x600 sizes. Oh, and if you want to set your desktop color to match, it's R:26 G:120 B:167. I'm so proud of myself. Go me!

Blog, Interrupted

Well, I had started an entry back on Sunday, the day after the righteous Pietasters show Aaron and I went to in Cleveland, at the new Grog Shop. Then I walked away from my computer for a while, and a power surge hit, and our power went out for a split second. And that was all she wrote for the aborted Pietasters review. I was even starting with the end and working backwards, so I wouldn't stop before I got to the good part, like I always do.

So, it occurs to me that I haven't updated in a while. A good couple weeks here. I know I get frustrated when other people don't update their blogs on a regular basis, so I guess I'd better get on the ball.

I've been sneaking a few grams of sugar a day, here and there, and pretending that they wouldn't hurt. Hey, I missed my Miracle Whip Light, and I bought a whole box of those Atkins Advantage bars, and the cream cheese was calling to me. And so, I have gained back five pounds in the past few days, and my ketosis has put on the brakes, though it hasn't stopped completely. Although it occurs to me that it might not be entirely my sugar-sneaking that has bumped me back up a few pounds, as it's about time for my Monthly Visitor, as my mother used to call it (when she still had one).

Not a whole lot else going on... Got rid of the Macquarium shell and my old copy of Norton Utilities 2.0 for Mac by posting on some Mac newsgroups. They're headed out soon, for only the cost of shipping them to their new homes. Um, what else...? I have the next few days off of work, which is nice. Aaron's vacation ends Monday, which makes both of us sad. But we're going to see Kill Bill on Friday, and off to the Apple Butter Fest on Sunday (where I am only going to have a handful of Kris's kettle corn), so that'll be fun.

And that's about it.

Idiocy

What draws imbeciles to congregate at the Post Office?

So, I had to mail two packages of eBay goodness, a roll of film from the Ren Fest, and a few bills. Since I knew Tuesdays are usually super-light at work, I opted to wait until after work to mail all these things. Three-thirty rolls around, I get to leave work, and I head to the BG Post Office. Parking lot looks a little busy, but I find an appropriate spot, park, gather my crap, and head in. And here's what I find:

Finally, finally, after about 15 minutes, it's my turn. Package number one: Media Mail with Delivery Confirmation. Check. Number two: Cheap Airmail to Canada. Check. Need stamps. Check. Done. Move aside and let crazy townie take her turn while I put my change away.

Is it that difficult? Sheesh.

And in the news... a Romanian Gypsy family recently arranged a marriage between their 12-year-old daughter and a 15-year-old boy. [brief pause for consideration] OK, comments from the peanut gallery:

I don't know about you, ladies, but by age 12, I hadn't even officially "become a woman" yet, and had barely even discovered the joy of, um... self-gratification. Real sex? Jinkies. Come to think of it, boys had only recently ceased to be icky — like, within a year or so beforehand.

And how about responsibility? I wasn't even responsible enough to keep my room clean, much less clean an entire abode. And I was lucky to be making macaroni and cheese from the box at that age. I'm guessing Gypsies have a much different upbringing than I did, but still...!

OK, rant over.

By the way, since I started the Atkins Diet, I've lost one inch in my waist and a little more than an inch in my bust (which I'm chalking up to back fat instead of actual boobage). And while my actual weight loss has stalled, I'm still losing about half an inch a week, so I'm sticking with it. Rama at work is amazed at how much I've lost, and is excited to be off of work on Mondays in time to go to her Weight Watchers meetings again. It's the battle of the diet plans... ;-)

My world

Aaron and I just had a major thrift purging, and took a carload of stuff to Goodwill. Seriously. A carload. The backseat and trunk were both full of computerage and old clothes. Mac Classic from Sheryl (rescued from an untimely demise in a landfill), scanner, Mac 7100, older Mac whose number I forget, 13" Apple Monitor (which had to go to Salvation Army instead, since Goodwill doesn't accept monitors), Genesis consoles and controllers, two bags of clothes, some books, an external Mac modem, etc, etc. We freed up a good amount of room in our bedroom and our computer room. And, hopefully, we racked up a good amount of thrift karma, to counteract our bad luck at finding deals at Goodwill and the flea market lately.

I weighed myself again yesterday, and found that my weight loss has temporarily stagnated at eleven pounds. Which, don't get me wrong, I'm still grateful for, but I'm hoping to continue to lose weight at a decent clip, so I'm not tempted to drift from the Atkins Way. I do know I'm still burning fat, though, cause the pee-strip tells me so. Just to show how much weight this week and a half of Atkins has helped me lose, let me show you the lovely chart from my Excel weight-tracking worksheet (yes, I know, I'm a dork):

That's from mid-November of last year to right now. Note the stretch after the wedding where I didn't give a shit about how much I weighed, and didn't even weigh myself at all for a couple months. Also note the dip at the beginning of the chart, and the righteous rebound right after two Christmas dinners in a row. :-)

In case anyone cares about my crazy work soap-opera... Andrew decided that one of the temps who was prepping should move to being a processor, and that Rama (who, you will recall, complained about being a temp and having waaay too many hours) should return to prepping. This took effect on Tuesday, and we're all happy about it. All except Dawn, the other prepping temp, who pretty much hates all of us now, since we were instrumental in getting our old temp canned. But, really, Lorna just didn't get it, for the most part. I won't go into it, since you won't really follow, but suffice to say she was inconsistent and just didn't get it. So, yeah. All of us are in a great mood except for Dawn, who scowls and gives us all a silent treatment like we haven't had since Junior High.

Still on the agenda: Loni's carpal tunnel worker's comp claim. Oh, yeah, and let's see what Ruth says when she gets back from vacation and all the shit's gone down. :-)

P.S. - I'm on vacation today and tomorrow. Aaron and I are going to Ann Arbor tomorrow. Whee! Four-day weekend! Outside of my honeymoon, I haven't had one of those for a long, long time.

I Suppose I Should Be Mourning Like The Rest of the Goddamned Country

Instead, I'm playing on CafePress. I have a cheesy new store, with a boring new name: schnuthdesigns. I have one design (which is actually a ripoff of a shirt my Mom had when I was little), and I've got it in infant tee and creeper, baby doll tee, and baseball jersey. I only wish I could do different colored tees than just white... oh, yeah, and I wish the base prices weren't so damn high. Nobody's going to buy this shit.

Let's see... where's the list as long as my arm of random piddly blogables...? Ah, yes.

read more...

Rocking the Boat

So, one of the things Amy suggested to me over the weekend was not to go through with my plan of writing a memo to my supervisor about department morale. She said management really doesn't give a shit, and if I can possibly stand it, just to keep my mouth shut so as not to make things worse on myself. I hemmed and hawed... and agreed not to rock the boat.

Until today.

Andrew, my supervisor, apparently having been tipped off to the morale problems from some other source, sent the entire department an e-mail today. "I would like your input," he wrote, "on where you would like to see the department heading in the upcoming months, and suggestions or concerns that you might have regarding processing, prepping [preparing work to be processed], or overall moral [sic] issues would be appreciated." He asked us to have these comments to him by the afternoon, and informed us that the issues would be addressed in a meeting tomorrow.

So, I wrote him a two-page e-mail. That's two full pages printed out.

I categorized my e-mail into three sections: On the Logistics of Processing, On Having an Informed Department, and On General Morale Issues.

Quotables from my e-mail that would make sense to The World Outside Lockbox:

• "We understand that you have compiled statistics on the running of the department. Still we as employees and 'team members' would like to be consulted regarding potential changes..."
• "Overall, we just want to be kept 'in the loop.' That's all. Let us know what the plans are, so we're not surprized when they happen."
• "I feel that we need some form of (admittedly cheesy) positive reinforcement."

I hope I didn't step on any toes, because I told the truth about everything I could think of... except one thing: I didn't tell him how bad he smells after a smoke break.

Loni, completely opposite of my approach, wrote a short e-mail of about three very brief paragraphs, detailing how we're "made to feel like peons" and should be asked about changes before they happen. Her message was short and to the point... and quite unprofessional and even a touch rude, even though she stated at the end that she hoped she didn't upset anyone with her comments. (Her grammar and punctuation are also absolutely atrocious.) She asked my opinion on her message before she sent it... and I told her it seemed fine. Well, it did seem like something Loni would say. I'm so evil. :-)

Other random blog updatables:

I've been very good on my no-Dew week. Aaron bought Iced Tea instead of Mountain Dew, so although I hadn't planned on drinking any sort of non-water beverage, I've been partaking in the Nestea Cool every now and then. However, I've been splurging on chocolate in a bad way all week. I think I'm going to make next week No Pasta Week, since I've actually not been craving pasta much at all this week.

The company name of the day: ABDICK.

The Kia smells like a fucking swimming pool, thanks to the overturned leaky bottle of bleach recently relocated from the backseat to the trunk to the trash. I'm slightly annoyed by it, but I'm afraid that Aaron is or will be pissed. I don't know why I think I piss Aaron off so much, when I know I don't really. I just feel like it's my fault — I already leaked bleach onto two of his favorite shirts, and now most of the bottle has seeped into the trunk of the Kia. Go me. *sigh*

Next year's Saginaires and Northern Aurora alumni picnic is once again scheduled for the Saturday after Labor Day. Once more conflicting with the Black Swamp Arts Festival. I'm not going to miss it every damned year... I wonder if Amy would come up on Friday, drive with me up to Saginaw for the picnic on Saturday, then back to spend Saturday night and Sunday at the Black Swamp. I sure hope so. Both things are important to me, and I'd hate to miss either one or the other for the next several years.

Rant, defused

I was so pissed. I was driving home in my car, fuming, planning the scathing blog entry about hating my job and twelve-hour days and having to work holidays, all the while driving like a moderate maniac, peeling out from red lights and honking at the stupidity that regularly happens on the roads of Bowling Green.

I pulled into our driveway, maintaining my righteous anger. Stomped into the house. Turned on the computer. Went into the bathroom and peed. Went into the kitchen and got a brownie. Laid down on the couch to eat my brownie and watch a little TV (forgetting that my computer doesn't take that long to boot up anymore).

Fell asleep.

Sigh... nothing like a half-hour nap to defuse your righteous rant about work and life and stuff.

Anyway, I really am sick of my job. I really do need to find a new one. And I really do need to stop drinking Mountain Dew and eating chocolate brownie stuff if I'm ever going to ease myself into this Atkins thing.

And I really do need to finish writing about P-Funk... later.

Work and Non-Work

Latest on the computer saga: Sheryl called 1-800-2-MAXTOR to find out WTF was up with my second hard drive. She says they told her what to do to make it go, so she's going to try it tonight and hope it works. See, fdisk was saying the partitions were non-DOS partitions, which makes things difficult. Hopefully this portion of the general computer stupidity will be solved soon. Let's hear it for Maxtor Tech Support!

I've discovered the joy of SHOUTcast, now that I don't have my many-GB collection of mp3's to keep me company. My current favorite (when normalradio isn't on, of course) is Club 977: The 80's Channel. Right now it's being a little bitch, losing Glenn Fry's signal, but this is the first time I've had any load problems with it after a couple days of listening. Great selection of tunes, no repeats, wide variety of genres and levels of popularity. I've heard songs on here that I never even considered downloading and had successfully forgotten about for years. Not to mention songs I've never even heard before. Check it out.

Aaron's doing so well with his guitar-playing! I'm excited for him. Today when I came home early from work, before he left, he showed me how much he could play of Wish You Were Here. I'm quite impressed, considering that he has about zero musical background... not including that summer he played trumpet in the backyard facing toward the turnpike in 4th or 5th grade.

Aaron also got home early last night — 2:00am instead of 3:30 or four. I shouldn't have been awake, but I was, so I got to see Aaron for a few minutes before I went to sleep. You know, part of me wishes I could get to see him more often, but part of me thinks that maybe having schedules like this helps us to appreciate the time we do have together, instead of taking it for granted. I mean, I always get so excited when I can spend time with Aaron during the week. Sure, we're still newlyweds, but we've been together for over seven years total, and living together for a year and a half. How many people out there have been with someone that long and still get all giggly and smiley when they spend time together? I think it's cool.

At work, our supervisor has instituted a new schedule of mail pickups. See, usually the courier shows up with the mail from the Toledo post office between 9:30 and 10:15am. It takes about half an hour to open all 80-some-odd bags with mail in them, and another few minutes to get some work ready for me, Rama, and Loni (or, this week, Andrew) to process. So, we don't usually get started with our day until at least 10:30am. It's a good thing we do have such long Mondays, since the rest of the week usually consists of 7-hour days, give or take a half-hour lunch.

The new and improved plan means a much earlier day for everyone. The couriers head up to Toledo bright and early, to get a run of mail to us by 8am. The preppers open the mail and get the heaviest accounts ready to process. We start processing the work at 9am, what there is of it, and the second, normal run of mail shows up between 9:30 and 10:00am. But that's an hour of work we got done earlier—so even if we have to stay and scratch our asses to get a full 8 hours in, it means staying until 6:00 or 6:30, not some retarded time like 7:30 on a Friday. I'm OK with the earlier start time. I'm sure Loni will be too, when she comes back next week.

Oh, did I mention? Loni's out on vacation because her daughter-in-law had her third child. Loni's first granddaughter, out of five grandkids total. Her daughter, Maria, lives in Indiana with her husband Mike, and they have two young boys. Loni's son, David (aka Crockett) lives around BG with his wife Jolene, and they also have two young boys, in addition to little Lena. So, Loni took the week off of work to help Crockett and Jolene with the boys, and to spend massive quantities of time with her new grandbaby.

Aaron's massive vacation extravaganza starts in a couple weeks or so. Four weeks straight. No work. Dang. So... this weekend, we're going to the Taste Of Cleveland on Saturday to eat lots of food and watch P-Funk for $7.00, then next weekend is Black Swamp (which I assume Amy is still coming to...?), and the following weekend is the beginning of Aaron's massive vacation. I still have about a week total left of vacation, personal, and floating holidays, so I'm planning to take some of that time off to spend with Aaron. This is going to be so cool.

Backblogged

I think that's the term for when you're backlogged with blog topics. Backblogged.

Mom wants me to take a road trip with her to Denver next summer. She says it would be fun. I say we would probably kill each other halfway there. Although, now that I see that the 2004 DCI Finals will be held in Denver, I say maybe I could put up with Mom if she could put up with a weekend of drum corps.

After going to the Dekalb drum corps show with corps alumni buddy Paul and his sister (who was my seat partner in '95), I'm more seriously considering joining a senior corps before Aaron and I decide to have kids. Only thing is, I don't think I'm ready to spend all of my summer weekends away from my honey-muffin, and I certainly don't want to make a five-hour roadtrip one way just to march senior corps. (BTW, senior corps is like what I did in Northern Aurora and Bluecoats, except you can be any age from 15 to 60-something.)

Of course, then Paul (who sings barbershop) suggested that I find a chapter of Sweet Adelines to join. Sweet Adelines are like barbershop quartets/choruses for women. I did discover that the Pride of Toledo is the best group in the region, and I fired them off an email about membership. They rehearse on Tuesdays at 7pm in Toledo, on Holland-Sylvania, which is doable as far as getting out of work goes. We'll see what happens.

I would also like to say that nothing quite compares with being berated for receiving accolades that were deserved by more people than just you.

See, a couple weeks ago, we received a payment for someone's water bill that was astronomically higher than what they owed. Like, $15,000.00 for a $150 bill. The person who was prepping the work caught it, and brought it to Loni, and asked if that could possibly be right. Loni knew that the client banked with Sky, and knew their personal banker, who then said maybe we should make sure that was correct. So, Loni called the phone number on the check and left a message. Of course, Loni left work before I did that day, so when the client returned the phone call, I took it. He was soooo grateful that we caught his accounting error — his software had printed the wrong amount on his check, and had it been processed, it would have bounced a lot.

So, the next morning, Loni had me write him a note and mail the erroneous check back to him. I located some Sky Bank stationery on the intranet, typed the note on it, printed it out, and sent it off. I felt pretty good about myself, but mainly because I got to do something different. Something other than stomping a footpedal, typing in invoice numbers, and hitting return.

A few days later, Andrew hands me a card he got out of an interoffice envelope. It's a "Gotcha Card" — Sky's version of RCC Performance Points, or any other company's relatively meaningless rewards system. The client's personal banker had heard from him, and she thanked me for providing such outstanding customer service to Mr. LaRoe. I felt all tingly in my bum until Loni shot me down with "And who was it that caught it in the first place?" Not only Loni, but the prepper who did catch it in the first place both gave me shit for being the one who got the credit.

Hey, it's not my fault that the last person to touch something is responsible for it. Take the credit or take the blame, but it's always the fault of the last person to touch it.

I grow progressively more disenchanted with my job — if, indeed, I was ever truly enchanted in the first place.

Click... Click... Click...

...That's the sound of My Life.

Seriously. That's the sound of the Zip disk labeled "My Life," from way back in 1997 or so, clicking in my built-in Zip drive.

Luckily enough, the Zip disk parallelled my actual life in that very little of what was really, reeeeeally important to me then remains important to me now. I managed to use my old-school RCC skillz to Norton UnErase a couple important things, like "Sheryl Is Our 'Puter Bitch" (sung to the tune of the Hall of the Mountain King), and my genealogy files (actually, I transferred those just a few days before it clicked). Unfortunately, the Saginaires and Northern Aurora alumni database just went poof. Thankfully, I had pdfs and HTML output of the last known version, so the transition to ASP should be a little less cumbersome than manually entering in all the info again. Go Dan. w00t.

Today's major gripe, though, is my heat rash.

Now, I know that most of my regular audience is not overweight. You folks, just bear with me. I know there are a couple of you out there who will feel my pain, so I will forge on.

See, my thighs touch at the top. No, truth be told, they just kind of moosh together these days. So, when I walk during the summertime, the friction, together with the unavoidable sweat, generates this amazing rash. Especially since I kind of adjust my pants downward so I don't have an assfront (you know, when your front looks like your ass — kind of the fat version of a camel toe). Now, I know this is TMI, but my legs rub together right where the crotch of my pants ends up living. This makes for some amazing, sweaty, red and inflammed pain.

What confuses me, though, is that I woke up with this rash this morning. Yesterday, when I went to sleep, I was perfectly fine. We even had our new A/C on in the bedroom all night. This confuses me.

At any rate, I have to wonder if anyone noticed me adjusting my pants funny at work, and sitting a little more unladylike at my desk.

Thunderstorms

I love summer rain. Some people are freaked out by thunder and lightning. I am calmed by it, and find it beautiful.

But there's a reason for that.

See, when my Mom was little, she had a scary incident involving a thunderstorm and a man who played a sick joke on her, telling her she'd never see her mother again. Mom obviously did not see the humor in this, being only a little kid, and was consequently freaked out by thunderstorms for a long time after.

I was born when Mom was 21, at that age when childhood is still relatively fresh in your mind. (Listen to me, at the ripe fucking old age of 27, sounding like some wizened scholar or something.) Anyway, she decided to help me not be as frightened of storms as she was. One of my first vague memories is of being cradled in my mother's arms, standing in the open front doorway. I could smell and feel the rain, and hear it, and hear the thunder, and all the while my mother was telling me how beautiful it was. I'd like to think that's part of the reason I love thunderstorms so much.

Anyway, on to other things...

Turns out Amanda's gig is for a Harley dealership — and, seeing their website now, pretty much anything would be an improvement. She's got her work cut out for her. When she's not designing for their website, she'll be doing light office work, too. Seriously... I wish her luck.

I'll work on getting some wedding pics scanned and posted soon. Right now, it's drumcorps season, so I'm trying to work on my long-time pet project. The Northern Aurora alumni page has seen many, many revisions and several redesigns, but this time, I'm hoping to have a design concept that sticks around for a while. If I can get some asp help — OK, not help, but someone to do it for me — it'll be right about where I want it, in terms of functionality and design and content. Alumni are being so helpful, scanning photos and old programs and schedules and all sorts of stuff. Seventies alumni are so cool. :-)

Since I Last Updated...

...the wedding and reception happened with only minor issues, we got lots of wedding presents (and money), my domain name expired, my credit card went overlimit, we drove to Massachusetts for our honeymoon (and back via Niagara Falls) totaling over 1700 miles on the Kia, my grandmother died, we put away all our gifts, I paid on my credit card and renewed my domain, and we're preparing for the funeral in Cleveland on Tuesday.

Oh, yeah, and I go on "vacation" with my family to Texas in less than two weeks.

I think I'm going to put the honeymoon and wedding entry separate from the "normal" blog entries, so as not to overload the June blog page. 'Cause this is going to be loooong. Like Sheryl's Japan narrative, but not quite.

I called Amy last night to see how she was doing. I guess she's doing a little better — she'd been planning to try to go back to work today. She's been home all this past week, tired and weak and kind of in pain. Good thing she didn't try to make the wedding, cause she would have been miserable.

Well, I guess I'll go start on the wedding and honeymoon entries, and maybe scan some pics. I don't have the professional proofs from the wedding yet, but a friend of Aaron's brought a digital camera to the wedding, so I have some wedding and reception pics, too.

Oh, and don't feel too bad about Memaw. I've already done my mourning, and I will continue to do so tomorrow, but it was expected. Honestly, I'm glad it's finally over.

Catching Up

So, I spent all day at work thinking of things I wanted to put in my blog tonight. Now that it's time to post... I find myself feeling particularly unmotivated to write... but I'll do it anyway, for the sake of my audience. So, Beth, Erk, Sheryls (who apparently are the whole of my devoted readership), here's your latest post.

Last Week: Loni reminded me in conversation of the time a couple months back when I was called in to our supervisor's office and interrogated about Loni's habits, particularly regarding religion in the workplace. I'd known I was being led by the verbage of the questions, but I had to answer truthfully. Turns out that Loni did get written up as a result of Mary's and my comments and answers. She's apparently prejudiced against other religions, and had treated Mary (a Catholic) in a degrading manner. Loni knows that the "investigation" was started by a complaint from a co-worker. What Loni still doesn't know, though, is that Mary is the one who started it...

Saturday: The Annual Waterville Community Garage Sale. Usually a treasure-trove of thrifty goodness. This year, however, it was a big piece of crap. I think everyone on our little trip got one thing. I got the best find of the day (IMO), an 11x11" HP graphics tablet from 1987. (I gotta make this thing work with Photoshop...) Kris got a Vonnegut book, Mark got some 45's, and Aaron got... um... a book? I forget. Disappointing, to say the least.

Monday: Nothing like a good old-fashioned 12-hour workday to get the blood pumpin'. Been a while since we had one of those. (Been a while since we had two new temps on a Monday.) And afterward, I went to Jerome Library on campus to photocopy wedding music and return the music books Donna had borrowed for me. Had to buy another friggin' copy card, too, since I gave mine to Aaron when I graduated and thought I'd never need it again. Dammit.

After going to the library, I decided to take a walk around campus. It was nice out, and I'd wanted to take a walk, anyway. I walked all the way across campus, from the library to Shatzel Hall. I was actually scoping out potential wedding photo ops when I climbed the steps of Shatzel and checked out the pillars and the railing — and discovered someone's CD wallet (which appeared to be a stolen restaurant check folder). Right in the front, once I opened it, was a CD I've actually been interested in (but not enough to actually purchase): Zwan. I looked, and thought, and pondered, and left it there. I'm so proud of myself, leaving it there for someone else to steal.

<girlie stuff>
Today: OMG, I am never wearing a thong to work again! I just bought a couple in my last spree of Lane Bryant shopping (sure, $40 is a spree for me), because I didn't actually own any real thongs, and I was curious. The cute little thongs that came with my wedding lingerie didn't seem too bad, so I figured, WTF. Never again. I won't go into graphic detail (which I could), but feeling like I had a wedgie at my workstation all day was no picnic. The point of underwear, to me, is not to have to think about the fact that you're wearing it. Instead, I alternated between having it up my crack and having it balance stupidly on my ass, very un-thong-like. Neither was comfortable.

— Oh, and BTW, I never realized how dimply my big ass was until I cranked around and looked at it in the mirror at home, framed by the wondrous thong. I know, you didn't want to think about that. Well, neither did I. Deal.
</girlie stuff>

Mom called me up today, too. She said that her weekly Tuesday visit with Memaw wasn't... well... very interactive, I guess you could say. Memaw has apparently refused to be kept functioning by mechanical means, otherwise she'd probably be on a respirator by now. She's on a morphine drip (mmm... morphine...), and isn't really very coherent. Mom said she sat by the bed and held Memaw's hand, and every now and then Memaw'd come to and realize who was there, and they'd smile at each other, and then she'd go back to being dazed and in pain. It sounds like she really doesn't have too much longer now. I hope that's true. I'll miss her, but I've been missing her for months now, since she's honestly only a vague likeness of the Memaw I knew. She's ready to go. Not to say I won't be sad, but... I'd be sadder to see her carry on like this.

And I can't really discuss my beliefs (or lack thereof) with Mom right now. She wasn't comfortable with my departure from stardard Christian Protestantism already — now that Memaw's about to die, I can't very well tell Mom that I don't know if The Entity Formerly Known As Memaw will even exist once she breathes her last breath.

See, I was having this doozie of a brainstorm the other day. If the human soul-personality-consciousness resides in a given body by a series of electrical impulses in the brain, then once the brain stops functioning... what happens to the soul? Well, what happens to computer software when the hardware on which it resides goes bad? You've lost it. It's gone. The only way software can exist is with hardware on which to store it. So... if the only way your unique self will exist is in your brain, then once your brain stops working... poof. No comforting out-of-body experience, no dead relatives, no pearly gates. No fire and brimstone, for that matter.

Which begs the question: if you no longer exist, how do you know? What do you have to compare your non-existence against? If your current universe exists by virtue of your having experienced it, what happens when you no longer have a vantage point? This is the part I'm having trouble wrapping my mind around.

That's why I liked to believe in an all-encompassing Force or Tao or general life-energy from which we are all born (and perhaps reborn). I used to think that, depending on how strong-willed or charismatic you were, your soul might exist as itself for a little longer before being absorbed into the collective consciousness. But now, after seeing Memaw fade... I don't know. She is — was — a strong-willed woman, with a sense of humor and opinions and fire. Now, she's just there. Will her soul live on?

Don't you think I'd like to believe it will?

Don't you think I'd like to resubscribe to the Mormon notion that she'll go to the Spirit World, where she'll be with her family and old friends and new friends and learn about The Gospel until the Second Coming and the Millenium of peace? Don't you think I'd like to believe that after the Judgment she'll make it to perhaps the second level of Heaven (aka the Telestial Kingdom), where most good Mormons will go? And don't you think I'd like to believe that she will have Eternal, Everlasting Life? Wouldn't that be more convenient? Simpler? More comforting?

No, instead I have to be in the midst of a little Belief Question & Answer period with myself. Bah.

SSDD (Same Shit, Different Day)

So, I'm starting to get used to this regularly-updating thing. Since mid-month, I've updated at least every three days. Considering that March only had six updates total, I think I'm doing better. ^_^

That said, there's not much to report today. Finally put all my mp3 CDs in my old CD wallet and brought it to work, after ousting the old homeless CD-ROMs that had been living in it. Got out of work waaay early: before 4:00. Hung out with Aaron, packed up a long-overdue eBay package to Japan. Bounced on my new trampoline while watching the news. I've got stuff still to take care of, like messing with the logo for Sheryl's aunt's webpage and maybe repotting some plants or playing Civ III.

Slated for the remainder of the week:

• Wednesday: Meet with Reverend Dr. Diane during my lunch break to discuss wedding vows and ceremony.
• Thursday: Go to Sky Insurance in Maumee during my (extended) lunch break to interview for the position of Marketing Coordinator.
• Friday: (tentative) Meet with Dining Services to sign reception contract.
• Saturday: Waterville Community Garage Sale. Leave BG at 11am.

Blah Blah Blog

Despite all the depresso ranting and raving I've done in my recent entries, I'm really not all that depressed. I promise. It's just that the vaguely happy things that happen never make it to the blog.

Got home at 4:50pm after making a pit stop on the way from work to gas up Aaron's car. And he'd already left for work. Poopstain. At least he left me some stuffed crust frozen pizza in the fridge, though. Yum.

Just called Andrea's cell and left a message. Apparently her voicemail is set on one minute, because I timed it out. :-) Asked her if she'd be able to make it to the bachelorette party and bridal shower this weekend, told her it would be cool if she could make it since I haven't seen her in so long, asked her if she'd gotten her dress yet, and finally got the guts to tell her that if she's not into the whole bridesmaid thing, because she's too busy or it's a weird time in her life or something like that, she can back out and won't hurt my feelings. The voicemail cut me off just as I was reiterating that she needed to get back to me. Hopefully that'll inspire her to give me a call sometime soon. If not... I'm not sure what to do.

Bounced my first check the other day. Twelve-dollar check, and got charged a $30 NSF fee. That blows. When I balanced my checkbook today, I realized I was in danger of doing it again, so I transferred some money from my savings to my checking. Now I'm covered. Whew.

Today was Mary's last day in the Lockbox Department at work. Our supervisors bought an assload of cookies and cupcakes, so I munched on them all day and didn't eat my nutritious lunch. At any rate, Mary's husband works in the department she's moving to: Loan Servicing. I don't think he's her supervisor, but they're closer on the org chart now. Mary has informed me that her husband would take me into his department anytime I wanted, so that'll be a good 'out' if I don't find another job by the middle of June or so.

I figured out my demands, in case the Lockbox Department wants to beg me to stay (which is unlikely, but I can dream). Since they won't be able to guarantee stable hours, which would be ideal, I will instead ask for a 6% pay increase, effective ASAP but no later than the beginning of third quarter (October). I wanted to say second quarter (July), but they probably already have the budget laid out for second quarter. Again, I don't think it'll happen, but I wanted to have my demands ready, just in case anyone were to ask what would keep me in Lockbox.

Well, I think that was a good, sufficiently undepressed update. Hmm, no, wait. I complained about shit the whole entry. Hang on... Oh, I know.

I'm getting married exactly one month from today! Tee-hee-hee! *girlie giggles*

There. Happiness. I am now going to post stuff on eBay and work on graphics for Sheryl's Aunt's online store.

P.S. - Hey, Donna? Here's Karma Police, just for you.

Karma Police

...arrest this girl
she takes for granted
the people she shouldn't
and she drives so recklessly

this is what you get
this is what you get
this is what you get
when you mess with us...

When I was planning this entry (all day at work), it was originally going to be quite woe-is-me, and perhaps even a bit guilt-trippy. See, Amy (maid of honor, duh) informed me yesterday that the bridal shower / bachelorette party is going to consist of myself, Amy, Sheryl, and my Mom. That's it. The end. Then I got an e-mail from the wife of one of Aaron's friends (which makes us all friends, I suppose) who said that, since she's with child, she wanted to offer up herself as a Designated Driver. Cool. I forwarded that on to Amy. Then I was bitching at work today about my severe lack of friendage, and Amanda said she'd go to the shower and party. Which could be interesting, since I don't know how she'll mingle with the current attendees, but I'll take any participation I can get at this point. I went against my own better judgment and checked my TagBoard at work today, too, and saw that Beth has to work and Donna has a concert to attend in Toledo. Both good, valid excuses, and apologetically offered.

So, that kind of mellowed me out.

I'm still pissed at myself for this doozie, though: I got my first-ever speeding ticket today. Those of you who know BG, the cop was stationed on Seventh and Manville while I was cruising north down Manville, toward Wooster. I saw him and hit my brakes, but it was too late. He'd already clocked me going 41 in a 25. Amanda says I was too calm; I should have been more nervous or cried or been mad or something. As it was, I accepted my fate politely and quietly. And my fine of $85.

See, for the past two weeks, I've been thinking, "One of these days, I'm going to be speeding down this road, and there'll be a cop sitting there at Sixth Street..." Well, I was one street off, but I knew it was coming. That's why I didn't complain or fuss. I had it coming to me.

Same with the shower, I guess, and my less-than-communicative bridesmaids. When you don't make a concerted effort to stay in touch with your friends, and delete all the stupid forwards they send you instead of actual personal messages, then something important comes up that you feel they should be involved in, and they don't (or can't) make time for it, that's just karma coming around to bite you in the ass. And I'm OK with that — well, as much as can be expected. I do wish I could have had a big, crazy bridal shower and bachelorette party. Kathy (the DD mentioned above) had at least a dozen people at her shower (I was one), and her bridesmaids and a couple close friends (not me) all showed up for her bachelorette party. I guess I'm just jealous, maybe. It'll be fun, anyhow. I know it will.

In other news, I posted for a new job at Sky. Sky Insurance in Maumee has an opening for a Marketing Coordinator, which involves planning and designing ad campaigns and PR materials. I really did just want a lateral transfer to something in my field, but this is more of a promotion to a management position. I mean, I'll take it if they feel I'm qualified, but I have this feeling I'm not. Not at all. At least this job doesn't require "licensing" like the last Marketing job I tried to post for. At any rate, if I don't have a new position lined up within Sky by the time I'm getting ready to get married and take my honeymoon vacation time, I have every intention of finding another job outside Sky.

I mean, I don't want to leave the company after only seven months — I just started my 401(k), I get two weeks' vacation and five personal/sick days every year, I get annual raises of roughly 10%, and my quarterly reviews have been favorable so far. But I'm willing to look for something more related to my field and with more stable hours and with better pay, and sacrifice my three weeks' paid time off for something less grandiose.

I keep saying that I'm biding my time and waiting for the right opportunity to come along. But with Mary leaving the department at the end of this week, Amanda leaving at the end of next week, and Loni intending to leave within the month, I refuse to be stuck working the 70-hour weeks that the resultant workload would force upon me. Part of me hates to leave it to poor Rama (a temp who's just started training on Citation this week) and Sharon (the older woman who's been with Sky for 10+ years) and the new temp and Andrew (our "Team Leader"). But another part of me says this is my opportunity to get while the gettin's good.

And I think the rest of me agrees.

Can I Borrow Your Muse?

My friend Kris burned me a CD of Vegas Video 3.0 this weekend. I didn't want it so much for its DV-editing capabilities as for its audio multitracking. I've felt like composing again, for the first time in about four years — I'm planning to hook up my keyboard, and to make some drum tracks on my computer, and to sing into my built-in monitor mic, and make some generally low-fi stuff. When my first song is done, I'll give a cookie to the first person who can name the artist whose style I'm imitating.

Assuming I ever get it done and feel OK enough about it to post it...

Today at work, Mary (the upper-middle-aged, slightly flaky one) insisted that I must still be losing weight. "How do you do it?" she asked. I felt like telling her that she only notices that I'm losing weight when I wear two particular flattering shirts to work, but I knew she wouldn't listen. So, I told her what I've been doing: walking at least once a day and cutting back on sweets. That's all I've successfully done, anyway. I must admit, though, that it made me feel good to know that someone thinks I look better than I did. Maybe my weight is redistributing itself as I'm losing a little at a time.

Now comes the bitchy part of today's variegated blog entry. I know Amanda doesn't read my blog, so I'm going to be blunt and blatant. [Note: I did edit this after the initial post, to back off on the animosity factor. Just in case.]

Amanda blogs at work. A lot.

Yesterday, I decided to write down a play-by-play of all the ways she stalls from doing work vs. all the ways I stall from doing work. Loni, the third cog in our wheel-o-processing, never stalls from doing work. To give you an idea of how our office is set up: I sit at a computer and run checks through a little machine that reads the MICR numbers at the bottom. (This is what I mean by "processing" work.) If I spin in my chair to face my left, there's another computer there where I fax and e-mail reports to clients, and log what accounts I've processed so far. On the other side of this computer, in the next desk/cubicle over, is Loni. Loni and I face the same wall while we're processing. Behind Loni sits Amanda. Loni and Amanda sit back-to-back while they're processing, but face the same way — away from me — when they send reports on their other computers. The end result of this setup is that I can see over Amanda's shoulder when she's blogging on the computer she should be sending reports from.

Anyway, yesterday's tally: nine blog-checks. Minimum. Because, see, while I'm processing, I can't see her unless I do an over-the-shoulder glance just because I hear her keyboard going clickety-clack. And she's not always posting; sometimes she's checking to see if anyone's responded to her post, or she's checking other people's blogs, or she's taking surveys, et cetera. Me: yesterday, I e-mailed Aaron twice and looked at weather.com three times (mainly to discover I wouldn't be taking my lunchtime walk due to snow).

Today's tally: twelve blog-checks. Minimum. These were shorter but more frequent than yesterday's. I only checked weather.com twice, and didn't e-mail Aaron at all.

I guess my main rant about this is, if you're going to blog during the workday, you forfeit your right to comment or complain about how long work is lasting. Because we work until all the work is done. Only in rare circumstances can we lock up work and just get back to it tomorrow.

On the flip side of this, though... rarely, if ever, do any of us take our allowed breaks. We take half-hour lunches when we're alloted a full hour, and we work through our two ten-minute breaks. So, if you look at it like that, stalling at the computer ten times a day for two minutes each time is equal to taking a ten-minute break twice a day. But then you get into the "using Sky Bank resources (i.e. bandwidth) for personal reasons" argument, which I don't feel like delving into...

Oh, and one more thing. Yesterday, Amanda's name was chosen out of a hat and she was named Employee of the Month. She (therefore, we, since I'm her ride) would have gotten a parking spot close to the employee door... had she not been a temp. Yep, she got it taken away from her because she isn't a full-fledged Sky employee. Which kind of sucks in a way, but also made me snicker in a way. The major bad point to this is that her motivation is now at an all-time low. I guess mine would be, too.

OK, Amanda... I guess I'll know now if you read my blog.

Girl Talk and Power Outages

I got home from work today around 5:30pm, just in time to have missed Aaron before he went off to work himself. Sigh... But on a good note, I noticed that both my giant 20-disc CD-R trade (lots of The Smiths, The Cure, and similar bands) and my order from Lane Bryant had arrived.

Some of you may not know about Lane Bryant, be you a "normal-sized" woman or just a guy. Lane Bryant caters to the larger woman, sizes 14 to 28. — Guys, you'll be clueless on the size thing. Let's say that your average height, average weight (not-too-waify, not-too-fat) female is probably a size 12 or so. Maybe a 10.

(Hey, guys? If you're squeamish about girlie talk, skip down a few paragraphs. I'm going to talk about my new bra now.)

When I was out lingerie-shopping with Sheryl on Saturday, we visited a place called That Special Woman. It's actually a mastectomy-supply boutique, but they also carry plus-size lingerie and undergarments, to our surprize. When we arrived, the attendant ushered me into a fitting room and took my measurements, then brought me a few actual bras before I could announce my intentions to look for a long-line or bustier. Anyway, I did try on one of the bras she brought in... and holy crap, that thing was comfy! OMFG. It was an underwire, but the cleavage part didn't stick out all funny like some of them do, and the back was plenty supportive. It didn't threaten to pull up between my shoulder blades after a few moments of wear.

This bra, I later discovered, cost between $40 and $50. Holy crap.

So... a few days later, I visited lanebryant.com. — Actually, I visited several online stores looking for a bra just like the one I'd tried on, but Lane Bryant was the first and only place where I actually found one in my size. OK, girls, if you have big titties, or you're a "husky" girl, I recommend this bra. Just like the one I tried on in Toledo, it has full-coverage cups, non-sticky-outtie underwires, a stay-in-place back, and it's made of a neat-feeling cotton/Lycra blend, too. Honestly... it makes me want to squeeze my boobies like one of those stress-reliever things you see in Spencer Gifts. TMI... sorry. The underwires still get me in the armpits, though. I don't think there's any solving that issue.

(Hey, guys? You can come back now. It's safe.)

After parading around in my new get-up, I reclothed myself, sat down at my computer (which had been left on to allow fellow WinMX'ers to download from me), and prepared to check my e-mail.

Cue loud, echoing, percussive noise from outside and resulting instant silence inside. Only sound: that of my hard drive spinning down. A transformer had blown, and I was in silence (but not yet darkness).

First action: look outside. I saw the neighbors congregating across the street, so I threw on a ratty old black cardigan and some shoes and went out to hobnob. The guy who lives on the corner had already gotten out the cell and phoned the city. Looked like he was still in his work clothes: dress pants, crisp collared shirt. I wandered across to the other neighbors, catty-cornered from us. I met Toby (I think), Danny (short for Danielle?) and her husband Rob (Ron?), and a few others. We chatted for a while about how much we like the neighborhood, how we got to live here, how nice this side of town is (away from the bar crawl), etc. Eventually Toby's wife had to go get grilling-out supplies, so we all dispersed from their driveway and went back to our own houses.

The power still wasn't on, and it was almost thinking about getting on to dusk, but not quite. So on to the second action: get out the candles. It's not dark yet, but who knows when it will be. I'd rather be prepared than fumbling around looking for the lighter. I managed to locate one votive in a tulip-stem holder; two votives in short, roundish holders; one votive in the snowman my Mom gave me for Christmas; and one scented candle-in-a-jar from my grandmother. I lit them all and placed them strategically around the apartment. Then it occured to me that I wanted to go trim the hedges, so I blew them all out but two. :-)

Watered the houseplants, trimmed the hedges. As I was outside, I saw a relatively rare occurence: there were people outside. Danny, her husband, and their neighbors had started a pick-up game of basketball — "PIG" or "HORSE" or something like that. Neighborhood kids were biking, skateboarding, and inline skating up and down the street, and some of them joined the game. Neighbors peeked their heads out to see if the city had come out yet, and some still milled about, meeting one another.

I finished pruning, went back inside, got my book and headed back out to sit on the front steps. (Or the "front stoop," as my Mom or Memaw would call it.) Reading was actually a facade — I was listening to the b-ball game ("How old are you? Thirteen?"), watching the kids skate up and down the street, quipping very junior-high-ish rips on one another, and eventually watching the city workers fix the transformer up the road. Once my porch light came back on, I retreated back indoors. Others didn't, though — the game went on, at least until the families' respective cookouts were ready for consumption.

It occured to me after this minor incident that the invention and maintreaming of electricity was probably one of the first steps toward the decline of the family and community. I won't say I'd rather be without it, and I won't say that it's done more harm than good. I will say, though, that the hour that the block was without electricity was probably the most social hour I've seen here.

Think about it: you can't watch TV, listen to the radio, play PS2/Gamecube/X-Box, play on the internet... what can you do? Read. Do something creative. Socialize. Gossip, even. When it gets dark, you light a candle, read or write by the flickering flame, talk with family, and go to bed. Simple.

The days before electricity had to be so different... it's hard even to imagine.

Fragile Moods

Lately, my emotional state has been unusually unstable. At work, I just zone out and do what has to be done, so I don't really consider myself to be in a bad mood, even if I look it. But once I get home, one little insignificant thing can puncture any good mood I've cultivated and put me on a ridiculous downward spiral.

For example (you knew it was coming), today I got home before 6:00. Nice, normal day at work. Not long, not stressful. Got my raise information from my boss, got home in time for the news. Was planning to vacuum the kitchen (seriously - it's carpeted) or clean the skanky tub or something after dinner, plus research embroidery websites so I can see what not to do on Sheryl's and my new web venture. I was proud of myself yesterday for shaking the internet addiction and not even booting up my computer when I got home from work, so I knew I'd have oodles of e-mail waiting for me. So, after eating some pierogies, I fired up the Sheryl Special to see who loved me.

I got three e-mails from Amy, and I knew what they had to be... berating me for not mailing her the vital color swatch for her bridesmaid's dress. I was right. She gave me a dressing-down like I deserved. Nonetheless, it still punctured my good mood. (Not your fault, Amy. You needed to give me a swift kick in the ass.) So, for the past hour or so, I've been kind of deflated. That one thing really brought my excitement about the evening to a dead standstill. That's not right. I shouldn't be this volatile. Not even a tagboard post from Timmay managed to cheer me up.

My last post dealt with a similar situation; this is becoming a trend of sorts.

What is wrong with me? It can't just be wedding planning... can it?

Later today...

The internet is an amazing place. I was just thinking of a poem my mother used to read to me when I was little. She had a whole notebook of poems and sayings she'd collected. (I wish I knew where that notebook was.) I used to have the poem memorized, but I couldn't recall how it started, so I Googled a line I knew for sure. Sure enough, 48 hits came back, all including this untitled poem. I found a good site about it, with all the backstory anyone knows about it compiled together.

So, here it is, the way my mother used to read it to me, including the intro:

This poem was handed to a teacher by a 12th grade student. It is not known if the student actually wrote it himself; it is known that he committed suicide two weeks later.

He always wanted to explain things
But no one cared
So he drew
Sometimes he would draw and it wasn't anything
He wanted to carve it in stone
Or write it in the sky
He would lie out on the grass
And look up at the sky
And it would be only the sky and him that needed saying
And it was after that
He drew the picture

It was a beautiful picture
He kept it under his pillow
And would let no one see it
And he would look at it every night
And think about it
And when it was dark
And his eyes were closed
He could still see it
And it was all of him
And he loved it

When he started school he brought it with him
Not to show anyone but just to have it with him
Like a friend
It was funny about school
He sat in a square brown desk
Like all the other square brown desks
And he thought it should be red
And his room was a square brown room
Like all the other rooms
And it was tight and close
And stiff
He hated to hold the pencil and chalk
With his arms stiff and his feet flat on the floor
Stiff
With the teacher watching
And watching
The teacher came and smiled at him
She told him to wear a tie
Like all the other boys
He said he didn't like them
And she said it didn't matter!
After that they drew
And he drew all yellow
And it was the way he felt about morning
And it was beautiful
The teacher came and smiled at him
"What's this?" she said
"Why don't you draw something like Ken's drawing?"
"Isn't that beautiful?"

After that his mother bought him a tie
And he always drew airplanes and rocket ships
Like everyone else
And he threw the old picture away
And when he lay out alone and looked out at the sky
It was big and blue and all of everything
But he wasn't anymore
He was square inside and brown
And his hands were stiff
And he was like everyone else
And the things inside him that needed saying
Didn't need it anymore
It had stopped pushing
It was crushed
Stiff
Like everything else.

Random Thoughts

Today at work I jotted down several blogworthy thoughts I had over the course of the mind-numbing workday:

When the temperature in the office reaches a certain point — say, 75°F or so — the vents open to allow outside air to filter in and cool things down. Over the past couple of days, this outside air has smelled of a slight tinge of spring. So cruel... so cruel. Barely above freezing, and my nostrils are dreaming of the spring thaw.

Some people at my work have accused others of being resistant to change. One person in particular, by the name of Loni, has done this accusing. Since our boss has begun a transition in our record-keeping from Microsoft Excel (which Loni set up herself about three years ago) to an Access database, it's amazing how resistant this accuser is to change...

I read an article about premarital counseling in the Wall Street Journal yesterday. It had mundane but important questions like, "will you love your spouse if she gains 50 pounds?" Then I realized how much Aaron must really love me... because I have gained 50 pounds since he met me. Literally. I'm surprized he hasn't staged an intervention in the meantime. :-)

I'm not eating enough. (Nice segue.) I wake up too late to eat breakfast (I have to be awake awhile before I can stomach it), then when I eat lunch, I just have one of those little Weight Watchers-type frozen meals. When I'm done eating, I'm still hungry. I wait the prescribed 20 minutes after eating, for the food to "hit bottom," and I'm still hungry. It's easier to ignore the hunger while I'm at work, but I'm sure that it's not healthy, anyway. Then I come home and am either too hungry to eat, or I go on an evening-long food binge. Ramen... canned veggies... hot dogs... ham... plum... all the stuff I probably should have eaten (or not) during the course of the day, crammed into a few hours of down-time at home. I need to fix this if I want to lose weight and be healthier.

Loni was telling about the wedding she went to in Chicago over the weekend — apparently the bride wore a scarf over her shoulder, bearing her family's Irish colors. Neat idea. Then it occured to me... if I were to claim so-called citizenship of only one family in my genealogy, which would it be? There are certain lines I've been inclined to research more than others — some because they're easier to find, some because they're more interesting to learn about, and some because I'm closest to their descendants. I think I'd probably claim citizenship in the White family if I had to choose one. That's my Granny's mama, Maudie (which would be my mom's mother's mother's mother, my great-great-grandmother). Interesting that I choose the matriarchal line; we've got some strong females in my family. ...So what happened to me?

As far as my last blog entry, where I wondered if I'd become less of a person because I've ceased to struggle against my less-than-relevant job, I've come to a conclusion of sorts. I'd rather be sated, unruffled and relatively content in a job I didn't intend to work than be miserable and unsatisfied in the same job. If I can ride things out, waiting in the wings and watching for opportunities, and make rent money in the process, why not?

Mary at work thinks I've lost weight. I was wearing my new black pants with the elastic waistband that doesn't make my fat ooze out where it shouldn't, and on top of that I wore a thigh-length blouse. I think it was all an optical illusion, since I've really only lost six pounds.

Oh, and in case you were wondering: no, I didn't write all of this at work. I took notes so I'd know what to write later. I don't have that kind of free time at my job...

Hot or Not?

What the fuck has society come to when a moderately degrading but humorous website has become a TV game show? Twenty-somethings parading themselves up a runway to have three judges decide whether they're hot or not? (Criteria are face, body, and overall sex appeal, in case you were wondering.) This is not healthy for society, I'm sure.

It's bad enough that we have to deal with supermodels in ads and on television, and either consciously or subconsciously compare ourselves to them. Do we have to see the 2% of the population that almost look like them, too? And do we have to keep judging people on their looks? Weren't we told in 4th grade that it's what's on the inside that counts?

Apparently our teachers were full of shit. But that's no surprize.

Amusing distractions online

Looking for a fun and simple Flash game? Check out this hunting game... but be forewarned: losing this game is painful. In a very special way.

Ever feel like websurfing, but don't know where to start? boingboing.net is a good place — deceptively simple-looking, and packed with amusing tidbits guaranteed to keep you busy and enthralled with the joy that is the internet.

News flash! Every U.S. resident who purchased a prerecorded music product between January 1, 1995 and December 22, 2000 is entitled to a piece of the pie. That is, since music prices were so inflated during that time (you mean they're not still?), everyone who joins the settlement group is entitled to between $5 and $20. If the amount per settlement member drops below $5, the money will instead be donated to an appropriate charity.

William Gibson, author of such fantastic cyberpunk novels as Neuromancer and Count Zero, among others, now has a website... including a blog. Oh, by the way, he has a new book coming out: Pattern Recognition, due out in February. Visit Mr. Gibson's website to read an excerpt.

Gibson on Gibson:

Google me and you can learn that I do it all on a manual typewriter, something that hasn't been true since 1985, but which makes such an easy hook for a lazy journalist that I expect to be reading it for the rest of my life. I only used a typewriter because that was what everyone used in 1977, and it was manual because that was what I happened to have been able to get, for free. I did avoid the Internet, but only until the advent of the Web turned it into such a magnificent opportunity to waste time that I could no longer resist. Today I probably spend as much time there as I do anywhere, although the really peculiar thing about me, demographically, is that I probably watch less than twelve hours of television in a given year, and have watched that little since age fifteen. (An individual who watches no television is still a scarcer beast than one who doesn't have an email address.) I have no idea how that happened. It wasn't a decision.

I do have an email address, yes, but, no, I won't give it to you. I am one and you are many, and even if you are, say, twenty-seven in grand global total, that's still too many. Because I need to have a life and waste time and write.

I suspect I have spent just about exactly as much time actually writing as the average person my age has spent watching television, and that, as much as anything, may be the real secret here.

And now for something completely different... paper cameras. Not disposable cameras — paper cameras. As in, a camera without the camera. As in, origami photopaper = pinhole camera.

Hey, Schavitz! Here's a companion for your robot dog!

The Operation: the fine art of pornographic film. The streaming RealVideo doesn't work, but there are stills galore. Filmed entirely in infrared, this film is both erotic and eerie. ...At least, it looks like it is.

OK, OK... that's enough randomness for one night. But wasn't it fun?

(Note to self: Use red-eye reduction on new camera to avoid future demon-spawn photos. Post initial roll of new-camera photos soon.)

Local flavor experience

Got off work early for once. It was still light out. I was geeked. After chillin' for a while behind the computer, I walked to Ben Franklin to find a Christmas present for Kris (actually, I just had to purchase the finishing touches). So, while I was downtown, I decided to stop into Grounds for Thought for some coffee goodness on the way home. Got my Milky Way (a mocha with a healthy dose of caramel and a couple dollops of whipped cream), silently approved of the R.E.M. playing in the background (must have been some album before Green, because I didn't recognize it — sorry, Aaron), and planned to slip out the back.

The first thing I noticed was that the Children's section had been moved. It's usually there on the back wall of the cafe proper as you walk back into the happily cramped shelves of used books. Hmm... more books on the side wall. Neat. I turned to exit out the side door — to find it was no longer there.

WTF?

Yes, apparently Grounds purchased the store next door and tore out the wall, because the happily cramped stacks are now spacious and comfy. I made a dork of myself by wandering around, gaping at all the room. I believe I even marveled aloud. I must bring Amy to see this.

For once, a good thing is made even better.

Unrelated discoveries: one fun, one not-so-fun

We begin with the fun: wilwheaton.net.

He's 30, he's married, and he has blue hair. It's freaky on some level, yet comforting on another. As much as it might disturb Wil to hear it, he's kind of like a long-distance high-school or college buddy. That's how he comes across on his page. Totally honest, frank, and certainly more than a touch dorky. (Hell, who isn't?) His web-design skills are pretty middle-of-the-road, his writing style is familiar and fresh, and he has interests that "normal" people have. And he likes The Pixies. Plus, after watching his character Wesley grow up on Star Trek: The Next Generation (now who's the dork?), it's neat to s